I'm a Failure

[AnneB1nderful]

Now visiting with family. Love being with them. However, some of them commented about the change in my appearance. They're used to seeing me with facial hair and a little heavier looking. They said I looked so young. Told them I shaved my beard off to be Clark Kent for Halloween event. When one of the younger ladies commented on how young I looked and that I was "The Hot Grandpa", I decided to stay clean shaven. I also talked about how I'm working out and losing body fat and toning my muscles. Both statements very true. But, there's more to it now.

About 15 months ago, I decided to permanently hang up my stockings (why is a story for another day). At that time, I told almost everyone in my family about my CDing to help hold me accountable. Up to now, temptations were successfully squelched and many times I would contact family members for both accountability and encouragement. I've failed.

Well, losing weight and keeping facial hair off, not only makes me look younger, but also more feminine (other than being 6'4). I've got naturally wider hips than most and my upper body is a little smaller than most men of my stature. On top of that, I've been waist training for a week, and lost 1 inch already. I've never taken such grand steps towards feminization so quickly. I think they also see a new, honest joy emanating from me. I'm trying to exude masculinity to compensate, but I think I'm failing.

I want to tell two of my daughters (29 and 26 years old). I have utmost confidence they can keep it to themselves. The only thing holding me back is the disappointment. They are very supportive. They said they would love and support me if I went the other way. They just want me to be happy. But, I was insisting on never CDing again. What will they think of me? I'm a failure.

I'm open for advice.

Anne B.

[Shelly Preston]

I would suggest they will think you did what you thought was right at that time.

I imagine they will support you no matter what choices you happen to make.

[shellie marie]

im sure your children will love and support you no matter which way you decide is best for you ,trust in them

[GeminaRenee]

Perhaps your failure lay in your decision to set an improbable (more likely impossible) goal - to put your CD'ing behind you.

There are just certain things that make you who you are - things that are very much an integral component of the fabric of your being. Everything I've experienced in my life, and all the anecdotal evidence I've seen on this board, seems to indicate that our trans-leanings fall wholly into this category. No matter how hard you try, you can't decide to simple fit a round peg into a square hole from now on.

It was a mistake to try and live up to expectations that you were never capable of fulfilling. And if members of your family are accepting, why would you try to set this unattainable standard for yourself at all? You're only going to hurt yourself in the end.

Still, this is a pretty minor 'failure' on your part. Now you know something about yourself that you didn't know before - so you can move on with your life, and live it in the way that works for you. Luckily, there are always positives!

[Ann Thomas]

Anne,
First of all, you're not a failure! You (and me and many others) are not dealing with an illegal, immoral, or evil part of yourself. Crossdressing is not wrong! So, that said, you're only a failure to your prior promise. That promise was made when you were younger than you are now, and you had no idea what the future would hold for you. You still don't! And I'm talking about it from a biological perspective.

For me, and for my father, and for my son, we have no choice. When my father was dying of colon cancer in a hospital, I went to his house and began the long process of cleaning it. Immediately I found he was a crossdresser, as I have been struggling with it all my life. I thought I was alone, an outcast, a pervert, an immoral person, unacceptable by God, my community, my wife and my family, because of it. I went to my dad and gently brought up the subject with him. But I started out by telling him I was too. He laughed about it for quite some time, then ended up telling me his story in a nutshell, as that was all the time and energy he had left. He had hidden it all his life, and thought my brother and I would reject him over it. At least he went to his grave knowing that his most deeply hidden secret, once revealed, brought acceptance to him.

Seven years later, my son had just turned 18. I had been divorced from his mother at about the same time my father passed away. I chose that point to share with him about myself and my father, suspecting it was genetic, and wanting to make sure he sought relationships that would be supportive of him having a father and grandfather that were both crossdressers. (This was about 5 years ago now, and at that time I was only dressing in private, and had no idea what my biological clock had in mind for me.) I shared with him about first my father, to which my son was shocked, as he had always seen him in such a masculine light (active in many types of shooting clubs, and had walls of trophies to prove it.) I then shared with him about myself, not knowing how he would take the news. For a moment he sat transfixed - just staring at me. Naturally I thought it was shock, but it of a different kind. Now it was his turn. He confessed to me that he was being drawn that way too, having been crossdressing off and on since he was little.

So here we are, three confirmed generations of crossdressers in one family. What happens to us is that we dabble in it when young, and it gets intense during our youth, then it is pushed away. We try to hide it, suppress it, and so on, in order to gain acceptance. For me I dove deep into church life, studying the bible cover to cover, debating it, active in all kinds of church activities, and very aggressively, too. For my father and my son, they both went into the Army National Guard. The next step is once we get into our 30's and 40's, the feelings deepen and become more acute.

If we don't dress, we become more angry and bitter with the world. We withdraw, we think there's something wrong with us. We obsess over crossdressing. We hate life to some degrees, love it from others. Dressing female alleviates those feelings, and we feel more normal, and can function without distraction. The only way to deal with it, in my opinion, is to embrace it, which it what I have done. I do not want sexual reassignment surgery, nor facial feminization surgery, but I have chosen to grow breasts, which I am doing through herbal means. (I have had training in natural medicine, studied medical aromatherapy in France, etc.)

So for now, I'm a crossdresser that dresses full time (or nearly so), and is not passable, but try to look my best.

Anyhow, since you are local to me, I would like to get together with you and share my story more in depth, if that might help. Tonight is a support group meeting in Costa Mesa, which would be a good place to meet, if you're up to it. Come dressed any way you choose, and feel free to change clothes there in the restrooms if you need to. We're flexible. We're a loving, caring, supportive group, from a really wide variety of backgrounds and perspectives on this whole thing about gender expression. See my posts in the Upcoming Events forum or take a look at oc-girls.org. We're also on Facebook.

I do hope the very best for you!

Hugs,
Ann

[ClosetED]

I understand that Honor is at stake - you gave your word to quit. But to whom and why is very important, which you will reveal when you are ready. As with many things, slow and easy may be best. You can still work on other aspects of your feminine side without wearing the clothes. If you feel it is dishonorable to wear a woman's waist cincher, get a man's. Wear tuxedo socks. If it makes you happy and your loved ones happy, then promises to your family are best served by doing what makes you happy. If the promise was made to honor a person now dead, a respectful period is honorable, but then life is for the living. This group is very willing to listen and will likely offer several opinions. You then decide which is right for you.

[Meghan]

I want to tell two of my daughters (29 and 26 years old). I have utmost confidence they can keep it to themselves. The only thing holding me back is the disappointment. They are very supportive. They said they would love and support me if I went the other way. They just want me to be happy. But, I was insisting on never CDing again. What will they think of me? I'm a failure.


What did you fail at, exactly?

Your basically made a promise that you wanted to make but could not keep. CD'ing seems to pick people, and you most certainly didn't choose to be this way.

If you look at what's happened, objectively, it's hard to argue you were in a better place when you made that decision. You've lost weight, your family is impressed with how much better you look and act and you are in much better physical and mental shape.

At some level they already know, probably.

Again, I think it's fair to say you're not a failure. If you expected to have this go away because you wanted it to, you made a judgement error. And if by chance you do happen to find a productive and healthy way to end this transitive condition, you stand to make a lot of money from half of the people who post here.

On the other hand, you will have to deal with disappointed administrators who will have to deal with diminished site traffic :)

Hang in there Anne, if this were easy everyone would be doing it!

Meghan

[justmetoo]

I don't have much to add except my agreement with the others. Be true to yourself and be happy, and your supportive and loving family members will be happy for you.

[newfem]

The failure to pursue one's desires is a much larger failure than the failure to suppress them, so stop failing yourself by ceasing dressing and live life as you want it.

[Beth Wilde]

CD'ing is more than a hobby or something you do for a laugh. It tends to be deeply ingrained in the psyche and is very very hard to ignore. 15 months is therefore a VERY impressive achievement and about 14 1/2 months more than I have ever managed! There are so very many worse things you could be doing so it's best to accept that you enjoy it and carry on doing it! You may be a lot of things, we all are, but you are NOT a failure!!

[Jana]

Anne... I'm not sure I get it... why are you a failure? What have you failed at?

[Mollyanne]

I really don't understand as to what you failed at. Are you saying that you failed yourself for something that you thought was attainable but wasn't?????? Did you say you failed your family and/or friend(s)?????? Actually YOU DID NOT FAIL but came to realize that you did do something positive in that you told the people that you "were" a cd'er, the sky didn't fail you, the gender police didn't come for you but deep down inside of you you were at peace.

Molly

[Barbara Ella]

Excellent discussions here, and one common thread, which I will attempt to add some thoughts to, to maybe spark an idea. What was your promise, really? IMHO it was really an expression that you wished to find a peaceful existence within yourself, and at that time you felt is was by not crossdressing. I believe your goal was not to simply stop your dressing, so take a deep long look at your thoughts at that time, and at them now. The road to achieving a goal is never straight. there are obstacles on your journey that require adjustments, not failures as long as you are progressing toward the ultimate goal. I believe you are making progress, and I truly hope you are more peaceful dressing. The fact that one element of your path had to change is not a failure and should not weigh heavy on your well being.

Barbara

[Lady Catherine]

I have to agree with what most have said here. You are not a failure. Nor, do i think your children feel that way about you. Live free, my friend.

[AnneB1nderful]

Thanks so much for everyone responding. I'm so touched that y'all are concerned and expressed such thoughtful responses. For now I have to forget my worries and enjoy being with my family. If there's an opportunity to talk to my daughters, I will.

Love You ALL,
Anne

[Cynthia Anne]

I don't think it makes you a failure being your true self! Denying yourself of happiness would result in failure!

[Eryn]

I'm pretty sure that your family wants you to be happy. The question is, were you as happy when you were not dressing? Are you happier now that you are dressing again and the side effects (weight loss, smooth skin, etc.) are making you a better man as well? I know that I was far from unhappy when co-workers commented on how much younger I looked after I lost the mustache and 20 pounds!

My wife has stated that she'd rather be married to a happy crossdresser than to a depressed non-crossdresser. I have a feeling that your family would think the same, regardless of whether they actually see you dressed or not.

[Tina B.]

Your only failure is not being able to be something you where never meant to be. It would be different if you only did it for kicks, but like most of us you sound like it comes from deep within you, something that can only lead to pain if ignored. I doubt your daughters would want you to suffer that kind of pain, just to please others. maybe if you failed at anything, it was making others understand this is just part of what makes you, you.
Stop beating yourself up, and talk to your girls, I think they will go on loving and respecting their father. They already know you have been a CD, and they didn't stop loving you, and they have already said they would love you no matter what.

[JennyLynn]

Anne, what's you is you. Your children have already signalled their support for you. Trust them and trust yourself.Communication is key. Talk more with them in a comfortable environment. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Angela Campbell]

You can always think about it this way. You made a decision to hang up your stockings. You have not done so. Yes you failed at the endevor but that does not make you a failure. In fact you must fail at some things in order to learn. No one who is successful has avoided failing in attempts to acheive a goal just to find the goal was the wrong one. It seems you just picked the wrong goal. Sometimes it is a good thing to set new goals and find success there. Sometimes one door must close before another one opens.

[ArleneRaquel]

Hon,
You are a great person, don't let one setback discourage you. You have many friends here.

[Launa]

You're not a failure, I think your a good person. Your family will always love you.
CDing is a big journey that we are all on and its one journey that we sometimes have to do alone. I have a supportive SO but I feel I'm still by myself a lot of times.
I have decided to CD for the rest of my life, I will never purge or supress it again although I need to be respectful of my wife's feelings. We are not failures, its society that doesn't understand what we go through.

[Angie G]

I believe your Daughters will still love you. And how would you have failed. Your not a bad guy here. Do what you feel is the right thing for you Anne you must be happy for your loved one too be happy hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Leah Lynn]

I have to agree with the concensus here. You cannot Achieve a goal that is impossible. You could go the rest of your life supressing the desire, but you will suffer. I know, I tried to deny it for years, and I was the most miserable s.o.b. alive. When I finally started dressing again (privately at first), I was a changed person. All attitudes changed and I was a happy person. My marriage was ressurected and my kids liked me again. Be true to yourself, and others will believe in you.

[Rhonda Ann]

Your not a failure, I to tried hanging it up saying "I'll never do it again." CDing isn't a habit to be broken, or a past time to give up. To me it's a passion and a desire. I just love womens clothing better than mens. Don't think of yourself as a failure that's really harsh on yourself.

If your children supported you before they'll support you again. You did say that they just want you to be happy, I'm sure they still do.

[irishsissy]

I hope everything works out for you. Sometimes my family does,nt understand why I do what I do. But sometimes they seem fine with it. I know I can,t change now. I,ve been at it way to long and I know it,s what I really have to do to keep me happy. I do believe that family is family and they will hopefully understand. Most of all trust your heart. HUGS , Cindy

[Beverley Sims]

No you are not a failure, you have lost weight and are probably healthier for it.
If you are able to come out to others even better.
A failure? No!

[AmyGaleRT]

Anne dear, you are not a "failure." Not by any means.

Are you a failure because you're taking better care of yourself? Hardly. Would that I had your willpower! :)

Are you a failure because you learned you can't stop dressing? Not from where I and all the other ladies here are sitting. We know full well that, once the crossdressing bug really gets into your veins, the only thing that can get it out permanently is embalming fluid. :) You can suppress it, you can purge, but you can't remove the need and desire. You could wish you'd never started, but what's done is done. Your femmeself has become part of you, and to deny it is to deny part of yourself. I've felt what it's like, and I've also felt what it's like to let go of that denial and embrace femininity. I have to say, I much prefer the latter. :)

As for what you've told your daughters, that you would never do it again...tell them the truth, that you were wrong. That you're only human. That part of you needs and loves to appear female on occasion, and denying that doesn't do anybody any good, least of all you. You already know you'll have their love and support; why do you punish yourself?

Please also know that I don't think you're a failure. Nor do lots of people here. I want to see you happy, to enjoy life no matter what mode you're in, to use your femmeself to enhance your life overall. I'll bet lots of us would say the same.

:hugs:

- Amy

[AnneB1nderful]

Stepped away for moment to respond. You all are so wonderful and absolutely right! I told my daughters and they were understanding and supportive. Will post more later.

Thank You!

Love,
Anne

[Meghan]

Stepped away for moment to respond. You all are so wonderful and absolutely right! I told my daughters and they were understanding and supportive. Will post more later.

Thank You!

Love,
Anne

Anne,

That's great news. Might take a few days to process for you, though. Jumping up and down right now, seriously...

Have a great night and looking forward to hearing more.

Meghan

[AmyGaleRT]

Stepped away for moment to respond. You all are so wonderful and absolutely right! I told my daughters and they were understanding and supportive. Will post more later.

Oh, Anne, that's wonderful! I am so happy for you. And I'll be waiting to hear more details. :) :hugs:

- Amy

[Stephanie47]

Anne, I'm late joining the chorus. Since your daughters are supportive, the only thing I can add is when your grandchild(ren) sit on your lap to watch cartoons with you, you'll realize you are not a failure.

[ReineD]

What will they think of me? I'm a failure.

I'm open for advice.

Anne B.

I think you should instead ask yourself, what would YOU think of yourself if you didn't know any of them? You need to live for you and not for them, especially since your daughters are adults and they have their own lives.

... besides, didn't they say they would support you?

[Noel Chimes]

Anne, here's a saying I learned as a child that has carried me through a lot of rough times; " Be who you is, not who you is not. Those who do this are the happiest lot". A lot of wisdom from a kid's cartoon.

[kimdl93]

You've taken a number of steps that will contribute to a longer and healthier life. That shows a degree of discipline and good judge,meant that some people lack. And you made a good faith effort to adhere to a conventional male lifestyle. I think it's commendable that you were willing to try. But, the reality is that you are what and who you are.

You tried to do something that was ultimately too difficult for most of us...and failed. There no shame in failure..we all do it all the time. And through failure, we learn and grow.

[AnneB1nderful]

Girlfriends!!!

There are absolutely no words to express the appreciation I have for all of you. I joined this group with trepidation. I felt like I jumped off a cliff into darkness. I really didn't know what to expect. All I knew, is that I was weary of fighting myself. So I jumped in with both feet. Well, I didn't fall far at all. Your welcoming, gentle, caring hands caught me. And they continue to support me as I'm learning how to walk again and thrive with this new acceptance. Your gentle nudging as I'm going thru all these emotions have been of great comfort. (Holding back tears) :bighug:

Now to describe this wonderful weekend of self-discovery....yes, even in drab I learned more about my whole self.

So, I ended up being alone with my 26 year old daughter. Was nervous about talking to her so, I approached it slowly. I told her I started crossdressing again. And she poked out a small smile. That confused me a little, but I continued to describe how I got to this point. I of course mentioned this forum of wonderful human beings that have embraced me. She said, "Dad, even though we don't understand, it makes you happy. That's what we want more than anything." It was weird. I was her dad talking to her about wanting to dress and act like a woman. At that moment, I didn't feel feminine at all. I felt like her Dad. However, I slipped out, "I make a beautiful woman," and she laughed. I wasn't offended at all by it. I laughed too. Just thinking if my dad were to say that to me, I'd bust a laugh too. Yet, she didn't cringe, shun away, or look at me like a failure. Then I asked if she wanted to see a picture of me. She said she wasn't ready for that, "It's just weird, dad. I've known you this way all my life. I just don't know what would happen if I saw you like that." No problem and we hugged. I was still her dad.

It was a little harder to get my older daughter alone. She's got twin 2-year old girls and a 5 year-old son. But, later in the evening I took her aside and told her what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks. I really thought she would be the more supportive one. She seemed to be a little more reserved and asked, "How did it lead to this?" So I explained and told her that the CDing wasn't bothering me. I've come to accept that as a part of me now. The thing I was worried about is everyone looking at me as a failure. She said, "Dad. I don't look at you as a failure. I know this has been a part of you for a long time. You've been trying to stop your whole life. You're not hurting anyone. Not even yourself. If it makes you happy, then go for it." We continued talking about spiritual stuff and their mother, I won't get into here, but she became very supportive and her reservations seemed to fade. We hugged.

I still have my son and another daughter to tell. This is not something you send in text or say over the phone. I want to do it in person. They have slightly different views on life and may not be as supportive. But, I know they will always love me.

So, while driving home I was so happy and proud of my girls. I was reflecting on the weekend and practicing feminine attributes. It didn't seem like 3 1/2 hours driving home. It was 2 am when I got home, slipped into a some panties and nightie and fell asleep in comfort and peace. Woke up this morning inspired to do some chores and take care of finances. Of course I had to get dressed up a little first. A girl's gotta keep her priorities straight. :heehee:

Again, Thank You so very much for everything. I'm here to stay!!!!
:love:
-Anne

[Jorja]

Anne I am going to tell you a true story.

There was once a young man who could think of nothing else except how he had somehow been put into the wrong body. He should have been a she.

The young man repeatedly voiced his concern. He got slapped down each and every time he brought the subject up. He got knocked across a kitchen because he stood up at the dinner table one night and said, “now that I know it can be done, I will be a girl someday”. The young man became deeply depressed. He got to the point where he tried to kill himself because no one would listen to him and there was no reason to live anymore. Not if he had to live in this body the rest of his life. He tried not once but three times. He was a failure.

The young man tried everything to conform. As a last effort, he joined the Navy. His father said, “good, the military will make a man out of you”. He was so miserable. Again, he was a failure. Somehow he found the strength to make it through the four years of his enlistment. He had secretly started the process of transition while still in the Navy. On the day after his enlistment was over, he ceased to exist. Gone. Like he never was. A new person took his place. She was geeky, a bit overweight, and looked nothing like a girl.

It was amazing how she blossomed. She was radiant, outgoing, and a joy to be around. There was something really strange about her face though. It had a smile on it from ear to ear. She entered college and obtained degrees in Architecture, Engineering, and Design. She went on to work for one of the most prominent Architectural Design firms in the US. She married a wonderful man who she lost just a few years ago. She went out on her own and started her own Architectural Design firm. She loves life and everything associated with it (except asparagus).

So all of this to tell you, you have do what is best for you. You can be miserable within yourself or you can open up to the world and be that person you want and need to be. Your choice.

No matter your decision, know that we will be right here to help, understand, and support you.

[Mikaela]

Winners know when to quit.
If at first you don't suceed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm

[Meghan]

Winners know when to quit.
If at first you don't suceed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm

I 100% agree! There is a tremendous amount of value in learning what doesn't work. Most people aren't confident enough to put themselves in a position to fail at all. That's the numbness a lot of people feel, I think, because for many inaction is better than dealing with the possibilities and changes that could occur.

There is also value in just showing up for work each day (figuratively speaking) to advance your ideas and impact on the world. We all have the power to influence the discussion! Look what happened here, I wonder if Anne could have told her daughters without this forum. Maybe it wouldn't be for another 5 years without the collective intelligence and information of what this life is like.

So in a very meaningful way, every single member, post or positive action helps this community in ways not any one of us could accomplish individually.

How cool is that?

Meghan

[Annaliese]

One cant fail if the task was imposable in the first place.

[justmetoo]

Anne, your "What a Wonderful Weekend" post brought tears to my eyes. It's obvious you have 2 loving, caring, intelligent daughters and that in itself is the epitome of success if you ask me. I'm glad it worked out so well! Best wishes with your other daughter and your son!

[AnneB1nderful]

I know once someone develops a behavior pattern, it takes a "significant emotional event" to force change. I thought when the only person I've ever been with, the love of my life, my wife of 29 years left me for another man, that was it! I'm done crossdressing forever. Whether she ever came back to me or not, I was convinced that crossdressing is an evil thing. It ruined my life.

Been doing a lot of reflecting and soul-searching over the past 16 months. I've come to the conclusion, she didn't leave because of my "problem" she left because of her own problems. But, that still didn't change my resolve to never crossdress. However, I've never been alone this long. I didn't fit into any other social groups. So, the temptation to dress became overwhelming during this Halloween. I actually dressed and purged twice within a week before deciding to join this forum.

Well, I haven't felt this loved or happy in a long, long time. I wish I would have joined this forum years ago. May not have changed the outcome with the wife, but I probably wouldn't have made the same mistakes. I also would have been far less miserable.

My oh my! It's hard to type in nails. But, I'm lovin' it!!!!

Love Y'all

Anne

[Meghan]

You'll get used to the nails! The pressure points on your fingers shifts further down the finger, and closer to the fingertips. I have spent the last 6 months or so transitioning to longer nails for everyday wear. It was frustrating for the first 45 days or so, then like a switch it felt better and natural. My fingers are showing much better form and the stress on my elbows etc. has gone down.

After all, changing is a part of growing.

Meghan

[ClosetED]

So glad to hear you no longer consider yourself a failure and you have found more acceptance and continued happiness!

[AmyGaleRT]

You found the courage to tell them. That makes you not a "failure."

They found it in themselves to accept this part of you. That makes you doubly not a "failure," for having raised such intelligent and supportive daughters. (Your eldest daughter displayed plenty of feminine wisdom. Maybe she gets it from you. :) )

Now, of course, comes the part that may take you the rest of your life...learning more about how you can become the best person you can be, both female and male. But it should be a fun journey! And I'm glad you're here taking it with us! :hugs:

- Amy

[AnneB1nderful]

I would love to reply to each one of you individually. But, that would take a long time. As a matter of fact I already typed a long reply on my phone and for some reason it didn't get posted and I lost it all (grrrrr). Ok so here we go.... take 2

I have always been the encouraging one. The one that says, "You can be whoever you want to be." But, this time, I needed the encouragement. And you all did exactly that. Sure, I felt like a failure. I did fail. I failed to achieve a goal I set for myself. But, I didn't understand what I was asking myself to do. It's like I was asking myself to cut off my right arm simply because it didn't look like it should. It looked and acted a little different than the rest of my body. But, it's a fully functioning arm that has always helped me.

Crossdressing is a part of me. Femininity is a part of me. To shove it into a box or try to cut it off was counter productive. It made me more miserable. And even when I thought I cut it out of my life, it eventually grew back even stronger. I don't understand why. But, it is what is.

So, I accept who I am. I am a Crossdresser. I may have failed at being something I was never supposed to be. But, I am NOT a failure!!!! And, now I have a new goal. I'm going to be the best crossdresser I can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, then (snap, snap, snap) they can kiss my panty clad, shaved smooth butt!!!!

So, girls, I've still got a lot of learning. I'm glad you are here with me. And I will be here for you. :cheer:

Sent with the most sincere appreciation and love I can express on a keyboard.

Anne B.

[Gaby2]

I would love to reply to each one of you individually. But, that would take a long time...

I have always been the encouraging one. The one that says, "You can be whoever you want to be." But, this time, I needed the encouragement. And you all did exactly that...


I would love to write my own personal response to every single sentence of yours, Anne, and indeed to everybody, expressing my gratitude... especially for all the encouragement.
Best of all, this is Crossdressing at it's best... bringing us all together :hugs:
I'm everso delighted for you and your family.
Gaby

[Chickhe]

Sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Maybe its better to just be yourself a little and stop trying to suppress things... Since you told everyone they won't be too shocked if you find the need to explore a bit. I let myself free to explore and learn and in the end I can honestly say I answered a lot of questions and I no longer feel like I need to suppress anything anymore....but I actually dress up less than I ever did.

[AnneB1nderful]

Hi Chickie,

I know you're right. I need to find a good balance and I know I will. I'm not going to suppress my femininity any longer and see where it takes me to become the complete person I need to be.

Thank You,
Anne


Sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Maybe its better to just be yourself a little and stop trying to suppress things... Since you told everyone they won't be too shocked if you find the need to explore a bit. I let myself free to explore and learn and in the end I can honestly say I answered a lot of questions and I no longer feel like I need to suppress anything anymore....but I actually dress up less than I ever did.

[Kelly Smith]

It is impossible not to like you, Anne.