How can one be honest?

[harley47]

I recently read 'happiness begins in honesty--be true to yourself and those you love'
This surely makes sense for nearly all of life's challenges, but I wonder how others are able to incorporate this in such a poorly understood subject as trangenderism?Is is realistic to expect 'acceptance' ? Is your 'honesty' helpful or harmful to others who truly aren't on a 'need to know' basis? Are you just adding more complications to an already complex existence?

[kimdl93]

Harley, doesn't this depend on the degree to which one decides to incoporate their feminine self in personal life and work? When a transsexual pursues transition, the need to know, of necessity, extends pretty broadly. There's no benefit in hiding from anyone if transition is the goal.

The complications you refer to may apply if one is living in dual mode to any degree - the extent that one comes out and to whom will depend on their personal assessment of the need to know. But even a deeply closeted individual faces risks that can really only be addressed by coming out to those nearest and most likely to discover the truth. I personally prefer managing that risk over living in fear of inadvertent "outing".

[Danika140]

If you can't accept yourself first, how can you expect others to accept you? No one can live your life for you so it's silly that you would be anything but true to yourself. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness even if that means standing one more day on your own.

I don't expect anyone to accept what I am, all I ask is for people to respect me as a person. I am finding that the more open and honest with people I am about it, the more likely they will accept it even if they don't agree with it because I have already made up my mind to this being apart of me.

[Cristine]

How to be HONEST? Sweetie that is a tough one. I mean that is what I would like to do, OWN UP TO WH I AM. In my thinking that is the only way to Happiness. If one can't accept and more importantly LOVE oneself how can one expect others to? I know all that but from early childhood I was taught to hind and lie about who I really was. Yes I'm an expert at that. An expert at repression!!!!
Now I'm trying to unravel all those years of ingrained falsehoods and learn that. To build the skills to Own UP! To be Honest with oneself so one can be honest to others.....I'm just learning and I want to learn because I truly would love to be HAPPY!!!!

[justmetoo]

If you can't accept yourself first, how can you expect others to accept you? No one can live your life for you so it's silly that you would be anything but true to yourself. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness even if that means standing one more day on your own.

I don't expect anyone to accept what I am, all I ask is for people to respect me as a person. I am finding that the more open and honest with people I am about it, the more likely they will accept it even if they don't agree with it because I have already made up my mind to this being apart of me.

Well put! I second this and am finding the same thing. The more I accept myself the more other people do as well. Best wishes! :)

[Babeba]

I think there's a difference between honesty and actively over sharing. For instance, if anyone asked me I would share the information that I feel an attraction to women as well as men. I don't just push that information on people when the situation is not relevant, nor do I hide it. I am honest with myself about it, and with people who ask. I figure if a person is close enough that the conversation is not rude, then I have nothing to lose by the honesty.

I definitely think it is important in acceptance. If a person does not know who you are, how can they accept or love you? I think the messiest situation is one where a person who has been married a long time comes to realize during that marriage they are trans-something, and doesn't share that with their wife for years and years before finally coming out all at once with a whole new self and transitioning without that wife having the same amount of time to get used to her husband being someone gender augmented.

[morgan51]

If you can't accept yourself first, how can you expect others to accept you? No one can live your life for you so it's silly that you would be anything but true to yourself. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness even if that means standing one more day on your own.

I don't expect anyone to accept what I am, all I ask is for people to respect me as a person. I am finding that the more open and honest with people I am about it, the more likely they will accept it even if they don't agree with it because I have already made up my mind to this being apart of me.

I couldn't agree more. M

[noeleena]

Hi,

Being honest or up front. with trust added in as well.

I never hid what i was, yet in saying that 55 years ago , that you were or are different landed you really quick to the nuthouse,
so you said nothing the other point then as well we did not have the words to explain about our selfs, you cant say you could have told others of your difference , with todays what we know , not then,

I lived a life in the main was quite a happy one when you concider my background you may think very differently.

I could not put in words how i felt i did not have them or would have understood them , so no it was not posibale,

Allso the word intersexed was not a word i had heard of let alone understand,

I was 48 when i told Jos i was / am a woman & even then i did not use intersexed, that came latter. its only been a few years ago i told Jos i am intersexed, about 6, & even then i really did not know till 5 years ago we got a commuter,

You may wonder how dumb how can that be, sorry its true.i did not have informastion or could study what i did not know about & my education was pretty suss anyways,,

Now does not matter every one knows about me what i am & background, my friends do Jos does & accepts im a woman thats different, & family ,

need to know ,well what we did was go to air nation wide papers & the net, plus i told our friends, so trust was a part of how i went about details & it was all done with in a day./ night, & that saved me many problems in haveing to explain .

Allso being well known i would not have been able to hide i saw no point in that, some of my friends go back 55 years, they all accepted ,

My issue if i have one , ...= i do =...is my facial features , i mean how the hell can i hide that, i cant, i just dont have that feminine look, , i have other qualitys that gives me more to work with, where i lack i make up with what i have,

Im a member of many groups & have been for 3 years,with memberships of 1000 people, & accepted, for who i am & as a woman. so i cant ask more than that,


...noeleena...