What makes it really sad

[Inna]

As the last episodes of forum life unfold, I can't help but feel nostalgia and sense of loss. Loss of something precious, I suppose something which was only exclusive to this here forum. What I am getting at is the fact that all of us, from the most basic of dressers, to the most involved women after transitions, were talking, sharing, telling, sometimes not seeing eye to eye, lol how could they, but very often, folks were listening.

There was a sense of family, perhaps disjoint at times and definitely rambunctious for sure, but everyone was involved in the exchange, something quite unique to this here place.

Other forums tend to be more inclusive, more of the same, sharing stories between same of a kind sometimes feels like talking to your self, not much dynamic there.

I am not aware of the incidents, and circumstances at hand leading to this upheaval of sorts, but one sort of incident should not put the community in the position of loss, and I feel a significant loss of source of information exchange, a merger of two distant worlds, which after a while of getting to know people, turned out just the same familiar planet.

Emotions are such, and sometime they take us for a ride into anger and frustration, but time does relinquish these emotions and sets us free again and again.

My plea to the establishment and also to all involved in the debacle, think about it, and if you can write in here that things will be OK, that you do understand that when a melting pot of characters and choices of expression sits down at the same table, sometimes coffee will be spilled and wine shall stain the carpet, but OH what a meal of insight and taste of truth, precious, priceless, freedom of being just your SELF!!!

To all, and yes, that includes human mods, lol, All my love, Inna

[ChelseaErtel]

I read this post and looked around to find out what "IT" is? What upheaval?

Sorry if I'm thick and missing something.

[Rianna Humble]

Looking back over the last few months, in this forum, I can see that some of the threads had started to resemble the OK Corral.

Whilst the majority of members, whether CD, TG, TS, IS or GG were being reasonable there were an increasing number of threads being derailed into personality wars and even a few which became hijacked by transphobic members who only came here to tell us that in their opinion transsexuality was just a perversion and that we ought never to be accepted as our true selves.

We may never know the full story of why things were allowed to descend into chaos, but people like me have to shoulder a measure of responsibility for making insufficient use of the report function which would have drawn the attention of the mods to the abusive posts (whether from the haters or members making this into an us/them war).

I am reminded of the story of the three sisters "everyone", "someone" and "no-one":

Everyone knew something was wrong and felt that Someone should do something about it, but the second sister did not agree that it was her job alone, so in the end No-one acted.

I am also saddened by the loss of some of the more reasonable and helpful posters at this stage but am hopeful that when things settle down, they will reconsider their decision to withdraw.

In the meantime, I hope we will all welcome the introduction of two new moderators to this forum especially as one of them is TS.

[Sally24]

If you are leaving, then you will be missed. Check back with us from time to time.

[STACY B]

I see what you mean ,, It's kinda like growing up with all your buds an leaving an coming back just to find out they all or most of them moved on an grew up or just left after you were gone . You come back thinking every thing is the same as you left it an it's not ,,The world keeps turning with or without you . I have made a lot of friends here an grew . An I also know that it will never be the same as it once was for the simple fact of all the people are changing an moving on . Some just go back into hiding it's easier than the mind screwing you get from Transition . An some just get mad an move on ,, There are and allways will be so many different people that have gender issues an will never all get along together . The gender thing is all most of us have in common ! Other than that we would never speak to one another in real life ,, Different Education levels an just different lives in general . You have to just speak your peace an move on an don't take every thing to heart here .99% Chance you won't meet none of the people here . This is just a venting place ,,Most people get it out an move on to never return until the darker side of them returns . Just some of us choose to take it all the way ,,Just our nature I guess ,,AS we do in our regular life,, Love it or leave it I guess !!

[morgan51]

Hi everybody thats still here I will stay I like this forum warts and all. lol

[I Am Paula]

The natural flow of human communication will include finger pointing, disagreement, and jealousy. The mods can try to keep a lid on it, we can each try to play nice, and there can be rules set, but in our highly controvertial little subsect, where almost evertything is opinion, or personal taste, there's going to be flare ups. We are really good at blaming those outside looking in for not being tolerant, or objective. Should we not bend over backwards to practice what we preach? Some people may read my posts and say 'she's full of crap', that's fine, I may poo -poo yours, that's my right, but to some one, our opinions may be valid and helpful, entertaining, or thought provoking.
I've half heartedly looked at some other forums, and most seem to be about grown men stealing thier wife's dainties, and bragging about their masturbatory prowess. Let's keep this place 'nice'.
'A proper lady ought keep a civil tongue'-Jane Austin
-Celeste

[robyn1114]

I'm not sure what upheval Inna is talking about either, but hopefully everything will work out.

[Tamara Croft]

Inna, everything will be ok :hugs: We just need to get this section under control and stop people from trampling all over it making it feel unsafe, which is what we strive for. I feel it's working so far, so I will say again, it will be ok xx

[Babeba]

If you are leaving, then you will be missed. Check back with us from time to time.

Sally, leaving threads are not allowed. I don't believe that is what Inna is getting at. I think she is pointing out that this TS section is not as active as it once was, that there have been a few incidents which have gotten members (TS and CD alike) banned, either fully or temporarily, and many members have either stopped posting or really slowed down what they have shared here. It IS a shame. I don't believe that some of the regular posters realize what a difference they make by being open with themselves and their lives here. There are lifelong friendships I can see forming at least in part here on this board, friends who let others stay at their houses to help assist with getting to transition appointments, or end up having a common bond at surgery locations, finding someone they can connect to when they have FFS or SRS to recover from. That's the stuff I think people see.

What they don't necessarily see is people like me, who started reading this section because my boyfriend told me he liked dressing as a girl and was exploring himself. I didn't know practically anything about the TS world, and I really needed to know that the extremes were okay. Now I know that if my partner were to realize that she was more female all the time than she had realized before, I know I would have no hesitations in supporting her in that; I have watched some incredible women transform themselves here and I would be happy to help Crystal through that if that were her path, because I know she will be okay. In a lot of ways, despite how my partner fits more with the cross dressers on here, I identify more with the TS on here because we are more similar, both being women and all.

I recognize that by the very nature of transition as change that many TSes obviously move on from needing this forum. At the same time, it IS sad to see less of the familiar faces around.

Some of you guys look around and don't see the fights - which is good, it means the moderation staff have done their jobs and kept unacceptable posts out of the public view. Believe me, there have been some nasty posts and bullying which have happened. I just worry that people who have let their tempers get the best of them then blame the system (us mods) rather than calming down and recognizing that you just can't talk to people in rude, bullying ways here and expect your posts to stay up. It isn't any particular harassment of certain members - believe me, all the mods and admins have other lives and don't have the energy for vendettas. We are just trying to keep things smooth, friendly, respectful and safe for all.

Edit: Tamara = 37 words, Babs = hundreds of words. Geez, I think Reine has rubbed off on me a bit! :heehee:

[Marleena]

I used to avoid this section because I didn't understand what being TS was like but I did read up on it to learn. Then I joined the TS sorority myself, I am one.
It's the same thing as any CD/TG/ MTF not knowing what it's truly like to be a GG.

This section will always be the most emotionally charged section of the board. Being TS is a life changer and you can lose your family, friends, job, and even your life if it isn't dealt with. The one great thing I see here is that the TS women will protect each other if they come under attack from a non-TS person or perceive it that way. So if you insult one TS you insult them all. It's the same with the GG's if you insult one more will come to the rescue. I see nothing wrong with that though.

[Aprilrain]

. Then I joined the TS fraternity

I think you meant SORORITY !

[Babeba]

I understand wanting to help others, but the best way is to click that 'report' button and let us mods know and deal with it. If a post makes you shakingly angry, tell us why. Please do focus on the positive here. Trust me, if this system works then they WILL be silenced. Right now this board is letting others silence them.

If you believe someone to be acting like a troll, why feed them?

[Marleena]

I think you meant SORORITY !

Haha yep! Time to edit, obviously I've never been in either before.:)

[Tamara Croft]

I'll tell you what makes it really sad, then before this thread turns into a free for all (slam Tamara day), I'm going to close it.

1. Sad that the previous TS mod felt that no rules needed to be implemented here or safe haven.

2. Sad that this section became a free for all to post whatever they liked because previous TS mod told all other mods not to touch this section.

3. Sad that previous TS mod didn't mod anything from June onwards, leaving this section and safe haven to run amok for all.

4. Sad that said nasty threads and posts didn't get deleted causing flame wars, members to leave etc... and why? because a previous TS mod said not to touch her section or else...

5. Sad that said TS mod answered no PM's from anyone, did nothing in this or any section causing drastic action to be taken which has caused an uproar.

6. Sad that a said member blamed this all on me, when infact it's not my fault that this section has run into the ground and new mods had to be brought in to run it and start enforcing rules, which some members don't like.

7. Sad that some of you are choosing to leave, because you don't like the fact that this section isn't going to be a playground for bitching, nasty threads and trolls, which is what it looked like and this section is open to the public.

8. Sad that I feel the need to close this thread, because it's a good thread, but the 'let's blame Tamara' posts have started and I'm not getting into anymore debates on this section and it's members with anyone else. YOU chose to turn it into a bitch fest, YOU chose to ignore basic forum rules, YOU didn't report ANY posts that were nasty until this week, YOU made this section what it is, NOT THE STAFF!!! So, stop blaming them and me. This is your section, this is supposed to be a safe section where you can get help and support, it isn't for people who want nothing else but to troll.

So, can we please play nice. If you want to leave, I can't stop you, but I don't want anyone to leave, I would just like to see this section running well :)