Told my GG GF today about the She in me

[Henna]

I had written two letters to my GF, which I was planning to give to her during weekend, explaining how I feel about myself, her and generally speaking life. Ending of course to the fact, that I've always felt that there is a feminine side inside me, who also want's to express herself with clothes and make-up.

However I've been feeling so anxious the past few weeks about myself generally speaking that I hardly sleep, eat or do my work properly and today was the worst day ever, so I decided impulsively to give the letters now...like waiting a death sentence, let's just get it over with.

She didn't freakout, or at least didn't appear like that. She is a bit tired due to health problems and I was sorry to put her through this now. Her only regret was, that I didn't tell how I felt, when we met 10 years ago. She said to me that she doesn't love just what she sees outside, but that she's more in love what is inside and that wont change, no matter what I would do to myself in the outside and that my thoughts and who I really am, I cannot change no matter what.

Then she commented, that guess we need to go now and buy dresses and make-up for me. I told that I already have a bit of my own clothes and make-up. She told me to get the clothes from the basement and place them where clothes are suppose to be, in the drawer!

We proceed to discuss about the dressing, that do I want to do it in private or when she is around too and I told, that I would really like to wear what I want whenever I want. She was ok with that I guess, although I did ask her to think what I've told for a few days and if she suddenly is not ok with this whole thing, then we need to think this whole thing over.

I feel like a really heavy weight has dropped from my shoulders. I don't know if she will really accept me, when I will dress for the first time, but I'm quite confident, that we will at least remain friends, if we end splitting up. I'm trying to move slowly and not to push this other me too much to her. I also explained, that when I dress-up, it's not the woman I would like her to be, but that it's who I would want to be.

I want to thank you all. I mean the amount of good advices on this forum is amazing. I doubt that I would have ever told her, if it wasn't you all! I just want to give a big hug to you all! :D

[dallasmann]

Thank YOU for sharing such an awesome story.

Way to go. I sooo happy for you both!!

[Jana]

Congratulations for stepping up to the plate and telling her yourself. What you did is HUGE! Best of luck to both of you going forward from here.

[Diversity]

Good luck to you both! I fully understand about about the weight being off my shoulders when I told my wife. It's a good (and healthy) feeling. Keep the communications open and honest, and I believe you both will have many great times ahead.
All the best,
Di

[kimdl93]

seems as though you've handled this as well as you can so far and given her plenty of latitude for deal with any issues she may have. Keep the channels of communication open, remain mindful of her feelings and things can work out fine.

[ClosetED]

Congratulations on taking the weight off your shoulders and getting acceptance. Take it slow. Think about what she is thinking when you make each new step. The more you can explain why you are doing it and how far you wish to go will help. If you are not clear how far you want to go, then be honest. If you plan on transitioning, then what is her role in that life? If you do it to relieve stress, then how often does this happen? If you want her as a friend when dressed or as sexual partner? How will she feel about those roles? Let her see how happy you are and how perfect a mate you can be when allowed to express who you are totally, then you will have a wonderful life.

[Sandra]

Just take it very slow with her, keep answering her questions honestly




I feel like a really heavy weight has dropped from my shoulders.

Just don't let it be transferred to her shoulders. This can happen why an SO is told, especially if she had no one to talk to about it all.

[reb.femme]

............Her only regret was, that I didn't tell how I felt, when we met 10 years ago......... I'm trying to move slowly and not to push this other me too much to her.


Hi Henna,

Moving slowly is probably the best advice given and obviously taken. It may take a few days to really sink in.
However, the trust issue is the one point that my wife has brought up on a couple of occasions. Wished I'd told her long ago.

Glad it's gone well so far.

Rebecca

[Alice B]

I also congratulate you. It is a very difficult thing to do, but as you say the weight is lifted. Things will get a lot better in the long run and it sounds as if your GF is going to stick around.

[Lorileah]

What a wonderful, caring person you have there. She can see the true you through all the exterior facade. That is how love should be. You don't love the shell because that changes, but the spirit is always the same. The person inside is who you are.

[AmyGaleRT]

Hyvä Henna! That's wonderful news. That almost sounds like the reaction of my fiancee when I told her. I would agree, don't push, she might not be ready for a "fashion show" immediately. And do everything you can to express how much you love her...there are other CDs out there that would kill and die for SOs that are as understanding as your GF or my fiancee!

I'm happy for both of you, too. Keep it up!

- Amy

[MsRenee]

Congradulations on telling her. I see alot more girls here doinv the same And have alot of positive reactions from their so's. You have to be feelung alot less stressed from hiding if as I was also. Now its time for tou two to move forward and wnjoy this new parr together. I qish you two. tons of live and plentg of great times ahead.
Renee

[Ceri Anne]

Henna, congrats on your coming out. So happy it went as well as it did, and that your more at peace with yourself. I look forward to hearing how things continue and wish you the best of luck.

huggs

[Henna]

Thank you all. It does feel great that I can admit to herself how I really feel and actually to myself. Saying aloud this to a person is different than discussing it here. I actually thought that I would have been more nervous, but it actually felt as natural as dressing up.

She could "connect the dots" quite quickly after thinking for a while. Especially she wanted to know about the Goth/Industrial scene, to which I jumped suddenly after we had been together few years. One of those scenes, where men also do make-up and can look good...but in manly way. I admitted, that it was the feminine side of my wanting it, but it wasn´t the thing for me, as you are still confided quite strictly to gender specific clothes and I would have liked to look more like the Goth girls, than men. Thus, my intrest in the scene died as quickly as it had started. The other "dots" in my life in a bigger picture also started to make sense to her finally...all my life I´ve been just trying to find myself...floating from one thing to another in search.

She wasn't interested what is the definition of me, I mean crossdresser, trans this and that, when I tried to explain, that I don´t know that. Just said that I don´t need a label to be who I feel I am. We watched about a month ago a documentary about genders, which was an eye opener to me too, as there was actually endless combination possibilities for a gender. She also referred to that document saying, that there never might be a definition that really suits just me as the possibilites are so endless.

Hopefully things progress well for us, but I feel at least free, which I´ve not felt in a very long time.

[Beverley Sims]

I would suggest you do not dress in front of her until she asks to see you dressed.
If she only wants to see you in a dress, just wear the dress, not even a bra.
If she is interested she will ask you to go further.

[Annie M]

Yes be careful about dressing in front of your gf. I was asked to come to come over for dinner dressed so I did, I dressed nicely (new outfit for the occasion) not drag queen style but showed cleavage and she lost it I was completely humiliated... I left within a few minutes, no dinner either... we have had no communication since. I took the clothes to good will later that night. Havent had the nerve to try again, leaving the dating part of life on hold for a while. I'll never know her true thoughts most likely I wouldn't want to.

[MsRenee]

Hope evrything works out for you Annie.
Renee

[Janelle_C]

I'm so very happy for you Henna secrets are so heavy. It sounds like you have a great GF she seams very open to your dressing. I would talk to her about dressing in front of her before you do it.
Annie I'm so sorry that you had that happen to you. Don't let that define who you are. Hugs Janelle

[Annie M]

Thank you, I'll be just fine. I don't want to Hijack Henna's thread.

[JessicaMN]

I am in the very beginning of a new relationship with a GG. Hearing stories like this are always encouraging, and remind me that should this get serious its better to tell early on then keep it inside. But not too soon, dont want to scare them away. haha!

[daviolin]

Way to go Henna. Just remember to keep your lady first. There will be bumps in the road. But she sounds like a lovely girl. You both can smooth them out together. Daviolin

[Tracii G]

Well the hard part is over you told her.
Best to both of you.

[Henna]

Hello and thanks again for all the support. We haven´t really discussed after tuesday about what I told her and I don´t want to push it. Still feeling quite anxious about myself, as now that I´ve said it aloud, I kind of have to figure out who am I. Joined also a Finnish transgender forum and was asked to come to a support meeting. Perhaps I´ll go, if I can scrape rest of my courage together somehow.

[bridget thronton]

Very well done - hope things continue to go smoothly