A big thanks

[Kerigirl2009]

I have been on this site for quite awhile and I do truly enjoy reading about what others have gone through as well as sharing what my own experiences have been. I feel like I atleast check in here almost daily. I am always happy to see a message sent to me( not that it happens very often)
I must be udersensitive to peoples posts because if I don't like whhat I am reading I close it out and move on without saying anything. I have never even thought about reporting anything, but I guess I wish I had.
If this section was to be closed I would get over it, sadly though because their are great resources of information on occassion. I would just find myself in the Male to female section more often.

I would like to thank the mods for doing what has to be a thankless job, yes even you Tamara, I honestly don't know what some people think at times, but I know where I stand and I enjoy having a clean safe site to come and tell almost anything, I would not be where I am today had I not found this site.

My only gripe that I have ever had is only a matter of my personal opinion, I want to say this without sounding bad. but here it goes.
some of the posts I read that I think oh my will get 50plus responses and then what I consider to be really opening up and putting yourself out there will get like 8 responses. This is all fine and good and I expect that on an open site. I guess I am just the type of person that posts and only get a few responses. Kinda like finding out who your friends are and who you want to avoid.

Without the Mods I would have left ages ago- Thank you to everyone who enjoys coming here and listening to us cry, whine, laugh, celebrate, or even brag, and possibly stretch the truth just a bit.

[STACY B]

Well I guess I will respond to your post since no one else will ,,, Lot's of chix on here say stuff an there are so many different People here there is No Way they all could ever get along . So we should just be thankful we have a place to go an learn an meet other people like us . I know for a fact that lots of chix on here can't stand me ,,But that's cuz of my Redneck up bringing an lack of Education . Just Dumb I guess ,,But Hell I 'm learning slowly but surely . What do you exspect ? Just stop an think for a second what SHE said in her Post ? The Mods ,, This place is full of rules so it don't turn into the Sorry azz places we came from ! All the other are full of XXX an you can get that anywhere or anytime . The main thing on the Transsexual Forum is some of the chix here forgot where they came from !! An give up an coming people a hard time cuz we aren't as far along as they are . But hell we gotta start somewhere ? But I also salute the Mods for keeping this place PG 13 an giving us a nice clean place to learn an make friends . Without them this place would be just another meat market !!

[kimdl93]

The strongest emotion that this section evokes in me is sadness. I am not...well not quite TS...and I say that with no interest in debating who is what and why. The sadness comes from the expressions of frustration,despair and despair turned to anger or cynicism that some members bear after a lifetime of difficulties. I post primarily in MtF because I belong there, technically, but I feel a strong kinship to our TS member and have learned a great deal from them.

Btw, don't score the value of your posts or the number of your friends by the number of responses you get. Anything reasonably thoughtful is going to fall way short of the 'what color are your panties' posts.

[Tamara Croft]

Thank you, that was nice of you to say :hugs:

[PaulaAnn]

Kerigirl; an excellent ,timely post;well said. Post count means nothing ;it's what you say in them that makes the difference.
Stacy ; You're far from being a dumb redneck;I always read your musings with much pleasure; love your insight and wit.Don't change a thing .
Paula

[Nigella]

Thank you for this thread. We try to keep this forum going for a majority not a minority and yes it is mainly a thankless task, until someone like you decides, hey this is a good place to be, lets tell someone :)

[Annaliese]

I feel the same way, sometimes love it sometimes hate it sometime, but will always come back be cause this site has help me grow and understand my self more. So thanks to all.

[Babeba]

Thanks, ladies. It means a lot to see threads like this.

Stacy, I like to think of you as the responsible sort of redneck! It's a phrase we have down here in the southern part of my province. :)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i have to say this really bugs me..

Stacy..
nobody forgot where we came from...what does that even mean?? give me an example..you have to back up what you say..we should all back up what we say... this is a very casual throw off statement ...its an easy statement to make, its a lazy statement....and its deeply hurtful to people that have put their heart and soul into 1000's of posts...precisely because they remember where they came from..

I just have to say this because there is a huge misconception about how and why post op women come here..the exception is a very small group (especially our old freind katesback) that have caused issues

this whole concept of forgetting where you came from or putting people down is total BS

....its the exact opposite..sharing intimate details about hard earned experience is not easy..

...do you want serious meaningful conversations about life altering events or not?

[elizabethamy]

anyone who stays on here after transitioning is doing it to help others (unless they don't have enough to do, and there aren't many of those)...I appreciate their willingness every day even when they verbally smack my gender-confused little hands...they could just as easily (more easily) be done with all things trans and go forth into the world as women, and even set out to "forget where they came from." My guess is that those who stay here remember it all too well...

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Having had the previous name Tania_aCrossdresser and coming to this forum I seeked help. I was criticized for having the word "crossdresser" in my name. I had many emotional issues that needed to be resolved, I put up with some of the resentment here so I left seeking help elsewhere. I came back as a guest after careful consideration of who I am. I am proud to have known I was a crossdresser in the past. It and this site helped me come to terms with myself. Now I am transitioning, I am proud to be known as a transgendered person. When I transition fully I will always remember who I was and who I am now. I thank the moderators for the rules they execute and thank god they and the administrator have taken control of this forum. I was getting a little frustrated as so many requests on topics were for transitioning people only. I was questioning myself.
As far as I am concerned this forum "Transexual forum" is for all people who want help, advice, guidance or mentoring.
I agree 100percent with Kerri, A BIG THANKS and I will yell that from the top of my forever quivering voice that breaks into falsetto as I did in early adolescent days with "the voice breaking".

[Kaitlyn Michele]

when i first posted on this forum i used the name micheletv...

[Anne2345]

...do you want serious meaningful conversations about life altering events or not?

I, for one, most certainly do. And I am deeply appreciative and grateful to you and the others, as are many here, for sharing intimate details about your hard earned life experiences. I am also thankful and grateful for all of the mods and administrators who make this possible. Without them, this forum would not be possible . . . .

[Tracii G]

I don't post in the section too often but I do read it from time to time and always learn something new.
This site is a great place to learn but I have seen some that are deeper into all this reject the MtF CD'er's questions as stupid.
I mean they had to start from basically the same place did they not?
Transitioning is a huge deal and dealing with it has to be very burdensome but to be mean to someone asking questions is not very nice.
I have had my share smack downs but hey I'm still trying to figure myself out.
Main thing is be positive and helpful not hurtful.

[Babeba]

I don't believe that Stacy meant to hurt any feelings here. She is a kind person.

Kaitlyn, I really appreciate that your post is thoughtful and polite without losing the strong feelings you have. Yes, intimate discussions ARE difficult. I think one of the things which is easy to forget is the distinction between showing that you disagree with someone else's ideas and think they are BS (which you have done here) and disrespecting and dismissing a person as another human being. One post I saw dismissed a cross dresser posting in this section as 'just another tough guy in panties.' I think that is the latter, and I can see a post like that as not being mindful of the fact many transgendered folks first identified as cross dressers before admitting that there was something more to it for them.

At the end of the day, none of the mods or admin are here for power trips or to ruin anyone's lives. We're here to try and help foster a place where those hard discussions can happen safely.

[Bree-asaurus]

I joined this forum thinking I was a crossdresser too. I know exactly where I came from and that's why I've done my best to stick around even after I find myself not really needing any more support.

I know that some people can SEEM insensitive to others from time to time, but there are a lot of reasons for that and it comes from all sides. Sometimes we have to remember that people who post are under the influence of their current struggles and feelings in life. Just because someone sounds harsh at one time doesn't mean they are harsh people. Just like someone who is struggling and posting a sad story seeking advice isn't a sad person. They are just having a difficult time.

I have always been extremely thankful for those who came before me that stuck around to give advice to those just learning who they are, and now I feel like I am one of those people. Many people don't come here primarily for support after a certain point in their transitions. They stay because they want to be a source of knowledge for others. This forum has been a little shaky recently, but I think we all are trying to do our best to work things out and make sure this is a safe environment for inexperienced and wise alike to share.

So to the OP, I'm glad this place has been a good source of support for you.

To the mods, your effort is always appreciated and isn't forgotten, even in difficult times.

To the wise, experienced posters, thank you for continuing to be a part of this forum. It's people like you that helped me when I needed help.

To everyone else, lets all just try and remember that there are always more to what people post than what you are able to interpret through ASCII characters :P

[Rianna Humble]

One person's mean is another person's sincere intention to help without sugar coating the pill and I don't envy the job of the moderators in deciding where the line is in any given discussion.

There is a refrain in this forum which goes something like "If you need to transition, be prepared to lose everything and everyone" to which comes back the counterpoint "Why should I have to give everything up?"


Very often a small number of people on one side or the other (chorus or counterpoint) will feel miffed about what is being said when in reality it is just an attempt to prepare people for the worst.

For every fortunate person like me who didn't lose her job, gained even more friends and is getting on with her life, there is another name to be added to the wall on Transgender Day Of Remembrance. Someone who didn't make it because they lost everything including the will to live, or whose life was snatched away from them by some bigot just before they got to live it.

Not everyone who transitions tried cross-dressing although some (like me) try it as a way to avoid the unavoidable acceptance of our true nature and some maay have actually coped for a period by cross-dressing before discovering the need to go further.

Even if a long-term member of the TS forum gets a bit fed up with answering questions about the clothing for the umpteenth time and may reply a little sharply, the statement that "It's not about the clothing" is intended to be helpful and encourage those who are questioning (or those who are in a pink fog) to look at the underlying driver for transition - namely Gender Identity Disorder.

In all these discussions, the mods have to make a judgement call about how far to let something go and inevitable they are criticised for:

a) Not acting soon enough
b) Acting too soon
c) Taking sides with the CDs
d) Taking sides against the CDs

or more generally
e) All of the above at the same time :eek:

[Babeba]

I know that some people can be insensitive to others from time to time, but there are a lot of reasons for that and it comes from all sides. Sometimes we have to remember that people who post are under the influence of their current struggles and feelings in life. Just because someone sounds harsh at one time doesn't mean they are harsh people. Just like someone who is struggling and posting a sad story seeking advice isn't a sad person. They are just having a difficult time.

I just want to say, this really resonates with me :hugs:


To the wise, experienced posters, thank you for continuing to be a part of this forum. It's people like you that helped me when I needed help.

Bree, I'm stealing this from your post too, because I definitely feel it about all of you posters on this board! I couldn't figure out a way of saying it without feeling trite. :)

[Bree-asaurus]

I just want to say, this really resonates with me :hugs:

Bree, I'm stealing this from your post too, because I definitely feel it about all of you posters on this board! I couldn't figure out a way of saying it without feeling trite. :)

Oh and Babs... I'm happy you're moderating here :) I've always respected your posts around the forums. I just hope we don't drive you mad, LOL.


For every fortunate person like me who didn't lose her job, gained even more friends and is getting on with her life, there is another name to be added to the wall on Transgender Day Of Remembrance. Someone who didn't make it because they lost everything including the will to live, or whose life was snatched away from them by some bigot just before they got to live it.

This is something that always haunts me. I've been soooo lucky overall... but I always have it in the back of my mind that so many of us go through hell... or don't even make it.

As good as I've had it, I don't even wish my struggles on anyone else. And to think that someone starting their path down this road could end up in the worst of situations is hard. That's why that saying you mentioned ("be prepared to lose everything") is thrown around so often. Every time I say it, I HOPE that they won't lose anything... that they won't struggle like others have. But nobody can control it, so I want them to know they need to be prepared.

The universe can be awesome... but the universe can also be a HUGE b****... and you just don't know how the universe is going to treat you until you've been there yourself.

[Kirsty_D]

I wasn't going to post in this thread until I read your post Rianna. It's very well written and as I've posted before (in several now deleted threads) I wouldn't be where I am today without the help, support and advice from the girls who have stuck around after they had transitioned.

Although I started out as a crossdresser many many moons ago, I also realised long ago where I wanted to be a woman and struggled with my identity for many years before accepting I was TS. When I joined the forum I explored it a bit and immediately identified with the people in the TS section and can understand why a lot of TS people do not find much in common with crossdressers but I also understand when crossdressers just see us an extension of them…

A joke I read a few months ago,

Whats the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual?

The crossdresser goes ahhh when he put's a bra on, the transsexual goes ahhh when she take a bra off.


Policing the forum can be difficult and a thankless task but the active group in the TS and safe haven area's has saved many a girls life, and for that I am grateful to this forum and the people on it.

[Babeba]

The universe can be awesome... but the universe can also be a HUGE b****... and you just don't know how the universe is going to treat you until you've been there yourself.


This totally reminds me of something that happened to my best friend... he's just qualified this year to be a high school teacher, and his first position was teaching sociology and psychology for a few months while their regular teacher was on medical leave. He's also gay, but it's not really obvious from the way he holds himself, talks, and moves so most people don't realize that about him unless he chooses to share - and his students and fellow teachers aren't a group he has decided to share that with yet (partly because he is super picky about relationships. I'm sure when he finds a good'un he'll bring them to the staff holiday party!)

Anyway, when his psychology students were doing a unit on deviancy he made an exercise for them including a scenario where everyone 'normal' in the world was GLBT, but that the student was straight and cisgendered. They had to plan out how they would tell their family, friends, or workplace knowing that they could get discriminated or rejected by it. One of his students looked at the exercise and said, 'But this is so stupid! Nobody gets bugged for being gay anymore, everyone knows there's nothing wrong with being who they are!' Clearly that kid had never been there, IMHO.