The ULTIMATE sacrifice for a SO?

[Wildaboutheels]

What if, THEY are aware of/approve of/participate in your CDing...

And like the female side of you better than your male side. The reason/s do not matter.

What IF they asked you to transition fully AND money was not a problem.

Would you? OR would you be unwilling to give up your male side completely because of some of the advantages it offers?

[Tracii G]

Probably would if I loved them enough.

[Rachel Morley]

If she liked it and wanted it all the time because she preferred me that way? .. well sure I'd give up my male side .. but the issue would not be my giving up my male side, the issue (for me anyway) would be transitioning at work. I think that would be a hard thing to do ... but anyway, in the unlikely event this scenario would happen (to me), I'd still do it.

[Henna]

I´ve been going though the question about transition in my head, not just if someone likes me better either way, but for me. Money is not a problem, as our healtcare system will do the transition practically free (well it costs a bit of own money, but very little), just as long as you are diagnosed transsexual.

On my own part, even if someone would like me better as a woman and even if I would get the diagnose and everything would show greenlight for transition...I don´t think I would do go through it.

I´m not sure completely sure which of the "me" is the real me, or both or neither. To keep myself alive, I had to build my another psyche and "me" from scratch. The feminine and masculine are now tangled together and to do transitioning, would mean destroying either one. I don´t know if I can take it anymore, last time was hard enough to build another me.

So sadly, not possible for me anymore no matter what.

Fifteen twenty years ago admitting to myself and to others who I am...yes.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'd give up my male side in a heart beat! Where do I sign up at!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rianna Humble]

Although I realise this is a fantasy thread, I'd like to inject a little bit of realism anyway.

For those of you who would do it in a trice, are you prepared to have your opinions ignored because you are no longer seen as a man? To have catcalls and lewd comments as you walk down the street? To face the daily threat of violence because (as one former member here put it) you are seen as a "pig with lipstick"? To have work colleagues file false complaints about you to your boss?

These are just a few of the incidental costs of transition which is why most TS say "don't do it unless you have to"...

[ReineD]

I should hope that no CDer would transition just because a SO wants them to. He would not be happy in the long run. If she is TS, however, then the situation would be ideal.

[Kate Simmons]

I would ask why and if they are gay. Same questions they ask us.:)

[Kelley]

I have struggled for a long time to be me which is somewhere far right of the male end of the spectrum. If I tried to live as a women just for my wife I would not be living as myself as I am a bit left of the female side of the spectrum. I could not go back to trying to live as someone I am not.

[erickka]

I also would do anything for my wife.

[Karren H]

I'd also do anything for my wife..... except that! I'm not changing who I am for anyone but myself......

[Raychel]

Nope, Wouldn't do that, I am pretty much happy in where I am with my dressing and lack of gender confusion. I am just a guy that like to wear pretty womens clothes, Not Gay, Not a girl i a boys body. Just a straight up guy in a dress.

[Jana]

Transitioning is a very personal call, one that only I could make and live with.

[Beverley Sims]

I would transition if we BOTH wanted it and in retrospect, earlier in life.
To do it now would make a man with stringy hair who can pass better by dressing instead, these days.

[karen marie]

she would never ask that.we like things just the way they are.

[TGMarla]

Well, my wife's disapproval is not the primary reason I've rejected transition as the path I will follow. But there are many other considerations when making such a decision. So that renders this question to the realm of ridiculous fantasy.

[Leslie Langford]

Is that what Meat Loaf meant when he sang "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"? ;)

[Jennifer in CO]

Thats what I did. OK it was a mutual decision. Per my wife, I was a wonderful husband but lacked a lot of "bedroom" and communication skills that when I cross-dressed and became Jennifer were not missing. Hence, and at her encouragement, I spent every hour that wasn't with family or at work as Jennifer. Very long story short, for my 21st birthday and again on our anniversary she talked to our Dr about me taking hormones to help put some shape on my stick of a figure. He said no the rec use but about a month later came back to us with a med study for Asthmatics and estrogen/hormones. I guess the idea back then was it was thought that fewer women had asthma than men so the study was to add estrogen to a "normal" male to see what happened...only I wasn't normal. After 6 months of being on the study, my "development" was thought to be a bit more advanced than anticipated. It seems the kidney med I had been on since I was 14 was found to also in some cases act as a T-blocker...such as mine. As I said, long story short...got outed at work, got protected at work and lived full time for almost 5 years before transitioning back...also because she asked me to

Jenn

[Georgia_Maine]

Turn the question around. Would you remain only masculine if your SO begged you? See, it works both ways. For me, I don't think I could express myself only as one gender. I would try, but I don't think it would work out.

Gigi

[Cindy J Angel]

Yes i have though about this and think of it just about it aver day. I think if my wife was gone and i had the money i would live full time. now if my wife started asking me to were more cindy stuff i would and as time gos u would were it more and more intell that was all u wore enty way. I had to stop for mo but only made it 3 weeks and one was hard to keep it going. But as soon as I start it is aver day i can most monday th fr no sat/sun but to day i am in guy mode water line broke dam i hate being an guy some time / all the time lol lv cindy so yes i would she is my one and only friend and then look what we could go do

[Gillian Gigs]

This sounds too much like the comment, " all CD'ers are really TS, they just don't know it yet". Well, if you really are TS, which is ok, then the answer is obvious, but if the are just a guy who dresses with "style" then it is different. I dress with "style" darling, I still enjoy watching football games, but so does my daughter. Being a CD'er is like walking a tightrope, you get to see both sides of the world, just don't fall. I guess I like the tightrope experience, and the thrill of it all.

[NicoleScott]

...unwilling to give up your male side..

I like Gigi's response (post #19).

Some of us are males that like to dress up. I would be as unable (not just unwilling) to give up my male side as others would be to give their feminine side.
The question seems to assume that we simply choose our gender identity.

[~Joanne~]

MY GF is now well aware of my dressing and is all those things that you mentioned but There is no way she would ask me to transition and if she did, I would say no. I love her very much and look forward to our future together but I am a CD, not a TS, and this is as far as it goes for me. I truly and honestly have no desire to lose my male half as I enjoy being myself no matter how I present at the time.

[Cheryl T]

It would not be a sacrifice for me. She would not ask...but if she did....

[reb.femme]

Is that what Meat Loaf meant when he sang "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"? ;)

Very good Leslie, .....made me smile! Especially when considering it's the Meat Loaf you'd be losing.

Rebecca

[Alice B]

Something I could never do. It would mean giving up more than just my male side, but giving up everything else in life I do and love.

[lingerieLiz]

I'd live in fem mode full time, but pass on the sex change. I would have some augmentation done.

[kimdl93]

I have thought about this. I have a high degree of acceptance and approval. I enjoy living as a woman, and if my wife were so inclined, I would go for it.

[MssHyde]

I think she wouldn't have to ask me twice, I'd tell her to make my appointments.

[marion]

if my wife wanted me to then i would be there faster than a heartbeat x

[Wildaboutheels]

It looks as if thus far, very few guys appreciate or ENJOY some of the advantages of being male? Being male DOES offer some advantages.

[Leslie Langford]

Advantages? Really?

Throughout history, it is by and large the men who had the privilege of dying for their countries in time of war. And we also got to do all the dangerous and life-threatening physical jobs such as mining, forestry, construction, operating heavy machinery, drilling for oil on off-shore rigs, deep-sea fishing, working in steel mills or metal foundries tending blast furnaces and pouring molten metal all day long etc., etc.

And let's not even talk about how the justice systems in most countries are rigged against men when it comes to alimony, child support, and visiting rights.

True, that is changing these days with females now moving into some of those jobs (can't imagine why!), but up until recently, being born male condemned many young men to enter those fields due to economic necessity and because they were the principal breadwinners with families to support.

[Jenna J]

Very interesting.... I would love to cross that road when it presents itself. Right now, no, too much to lose.

[Kate T]

Oh dear, the fantasy thread thing.

Sorry WAH, it's an unreal and to be honest I think an unhealthy fantasy. Certainly were it to be a reality I believe it would be unhealthy. It would require a disregard on the part of the partner for your feelings and your identity and a level of manipulation that would border on psychological abuse.

So clearly from me the answer is no.

[Kate T]

Advantages? Really?

Throughout history, it is by and large the men who had the privilege of dying for their countries in time of war. And we also got to do all the dangerous and life-threatening physical jobs such as mining, forestry, construction, operating heavy machinery, drilling for oil on off-shore rigs, deep-sea fishing, working in steel mills or metal foundries tending blast furnaces and pouring molten metal all day long etc., etc.

And let's not even talk about how the justice systems in most countries are rigged against men when it comes to alimony, child support, and visiting rights.

True, that is changing these days with females now moving into some of those jobs (can't imagine why!), but up until recently, being born male condemned many young men to enter those fields due to economic necessity and because they were the principal breadwinners with families to support.

I'm going to pick on you Leslie Im sorry as there are plenty of others on these forums sprouting similar views. To any of you I lay down a challenge. I would like you to provide an example, with reliable, government or other institiutional produced survey data (i.e. UN, WHO etc.) that shows genetic females with a distinct advantage over genetic males in ANY aspect of life or society (and no, variety of heel sizes does not count!). I have produced and provided multiple links (as have others) to various data sources clearly demonstrating disadvantages that genetic females suffer complared to genetic males for a variety of concerns including domestic violence, homicide, average earnings etc. etc. WHERE IS YOUR EVIDENCE!!!

[UNDERDRESSER]

No. I am a male. Yes, I've got a bit more female in me than the average guy, but I'm a straight male. I like my man bits, and anyway, so does my GF.

[ReineD]

Advantages? Really?

Both genders have their advantages and disadvantages. No one can say that being one gender is better or worse than another, except a trans person who is not happy with his or her gender. Men have given their lives in times of war, women have been raped and killed, and women in some parts of the world still have their freedom strictly limited (think of women at the hands of the Taliban for example). The court systems have ruled in favor of men and women here, and I can attest to this personally. I lost custody of my son because his father made more money than I. Throughout history, life has not been easy for the under privileged, either men or women, who toiled the fields and who later worked in factories or for whom the task of doing everything by hand at home was also strenuous (have you ever washed the clothes for a family of 10 on a washboard?)

It's like having two children who are each vastly different from one another in terms of personality, character, and preferences. Is one any better or worse and is loved any more or less by the parents? They're just both different.

[UNDERDRESSER]

It looks as if thus far, very few guys appreciate or ENJOY some of the advantages of being male? Being male DOES offer some advantages.

It's just that I AM male. Don't think of myself as female. Advantages or disadvantages don't come into it.

[linda allen]

The ULTIMATE sacrifice for a SO?

What if, THEY are aware of/approve of/participate in your CDing...

And like the female side of you better than your male side. The reason/s do not matter.

What IF they asked you to transition fully AND money was not a problem.

Would you? OR would you be unwilling to give up your male side completely because of some of the advantages it offers?

Why do you think giving up your make side (and parts) would be the ultimate sacrifice for a SO?

I would think the ultimate sacrifice would be allowing and approving of the SO undergoing female to male transition and living as a man with you in a gay relationship. Would you do this? Wouldn't that be the ultimat sacrifice for you?

[kimdl93]

Why do you think giving up your make side (and parts) would be the ultimate sacrifice for a SO?

I would think the ultimate sacrifice would be allowing and approving of the SO undergoing female to male transition and living as a man with you in a gay relationship. Would you do this? Wouldn't that be the ultimat sacrifice for you?

I think this would only represent a sacrifice if you did not want to give up those bits...or were not at least ambivalent about life as a male. For me, that is hardly a sacrifice ...just something I'm a bit scared of.

[Rianna Humble]

Why do you think giving up your make side (and parts) would be the ultimate sacrifice for a SO?

If a non-TS gave up his life as a man in order to please his SO, he would be making the sacrifice for her.


I would think the ultimate sacrifice would be allowing and approving of the SO undergoing female to male transition and living as a man with you in a gay relationship. Would you do this? Wouldn't that be the ultimat sacrifice for you?

If the SO gave up her life as a woman to please her man, she would be making the sacrifice for him. Your scenario allows the very condescending idea that the husband has to "allow" his partner to make a sacrifice in order to please him. I don't believe that you really intended your scenario to reduce Significant Others to the status of chattels.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Not so sure about this being male bit , i know many of you are, though you know im not never was or could be, let alone know what a real male is, so really what would i be giveing up, this male privalige did i have that under false pretence,

Not sure i even knew what that ment & maybe i still dont. iv gained so much more, im accepted by many males not just includeing women ,

I learned under some lovely men though i dought they would have seen past the concept that i was female as well . yet some knew what i was , though never said anything till only 5 years ago. when they knew for sure, & told Jos,& me

Did Jos accept me , not when i told her some 18 years ago she saw what she thought was a male, or percived i was ...ment ... to be, Now, fully accepted im just a female / woman thats different,

Iv not really lost out fact is iv gained far more as being a female that should have been shown years ago .

A Sacrifice ,,,, is giveing up your life for another , not to appear as a woman, or try to be one, being a female is very different,

Iv never given up my life as a male because i was not a true born one to start with, does not apply to me,

...noeleena...

[linda allen]

...... If the SO gave up her life as a woman to please her man, she would be making the sacrifice for him. Your scenario allows the very condescending idea that the husband has to "allow" his partner to make a sacrifice in order to please him. I don't believe that you really intended your scenario to reduce Significant Others to the status of chattels.

Huh? I have no idea how you came up with that from my post.

[luscious]

I would not give up my male side.

I have found that women have a FETISH for busty voluptuous & pretty ********.

they want you to look feminine with real breast like you are on female hormones but they also want the male anatomy unless it is a stud/butch or soft stud girl. Thin they want to dominate over you like your a woman & they are the man.

if you search w4t,t4w,w4w you will meet women interested in ******** and a few into cd's but not tv's.

they want you all shaving and soft like a women. many tv's won't or can't shave. cd's will shave fully.

[Erin McShea]

Very interesting thread. I have often fantisized about this scenario in my head for a long time. If my wife would go along with it, I would have done it yesterday! Every other thing in my life I would be able to deal with after transitioning. But the relationship I have with my wife is too great to give up.

Erin

[Tina B.]

Won't do because of the family, couldn't do it just because someone else wanted me to, would only do it if I felt like I had to do it to fulfill my own existence.

[giuseppina]

I would tell her that it is highly unlikely that I qualify for starting a transition, even if I wanted to. If she wanted to push me into it even after I was told I don't qualify, that, unfortunately, would likely end the relationship.