Tips for those of us still embarrassed to go clothes shopping

[Valerie Nova]

At least the JC Penny's near me has dozens of unattended fitting rooms without any judgmental old ladies there to give you incredulous looks. I know many of us just buy things based on the size (especially at places like Christian-run thrift stores) and return it later if it doesn't fit, but at JC Penny's, it's actually really easy to try stuff on now. Today, I saw some shoes on clearance that I liked, so I grabbed a pair of guys' shoes, put the pretty shoes on the bottom, and walked into the fitting room with two nondescript shoe boxes, one on top of the other. They didn't fit, sadly, but at least I learned that before I bought them.

I used to always grab some boring guy clothes, put all the ladies clothes underneath, then ditch the guys' clothes (or not if I wanted them) right before checkout. Also, at thrift stores especially, I would take all the clothes off the hanger and fold them so the price tags were visible, but it wasn't quite as obvious what they were all folded up. For instance, a denim skirt looks the same as shorts or jeans when it's folded. The cashiers like that you're making their jobs easier, and when I'd look at the receipts afterwards, they would often be marked as men's clothing.

Of course the correct thing to do is act as confident and friendly as possible, without looking like you're trying to hide anything, so that if anyone is embarrassed, it's them. But, a lot of us aren't there yet, so stuff like this is helpful.

And please, it's awesome if you're in some part of the world where men buying and trying on women's clothing is considered perfectly normal, but we aren't all as lucky as you are, so please don't rub it in too hard.

So anyone else have tips they've picked up over the years of shopping at retail establishments?

[Launa]

If i'm not confident on the day I want to go out shopping then I call the store ahead of time and ask for the manager of the ladies dept. Then I ask her if there is any problem with a male coming in to do some shopping for clothes. I will say something like, "I want to do some shopping for myself but I just don't want to embarass your co-wokers, clerks or other customers." I have always had a warm welcome over the phone. Usually the response is, "Absolutey my name is ....... and come in and ask for me if I'm not here the other girls will be glad to help you and we look forward to seeing you." I have never had a bad response yet.

However I did go to a nice consignment store once and they were not friendly. I was feeling a little cocky as there were no other customers in there. I was looking at a dress and then jumped into the change room, tried it on then came out and bought it.When I'm feeling confident then I hide nothing at all. When I'm at the checkout I talk to the clerk like theres nothing is wrong at all and hide nothing if they ask. I know of a couple small minded (Christian run stores) that were unfriendly to me and I just stay away from them. Not everyone will welcome us with open arms.

[Beverley Sims]

Sometimes for me the situation is such that I can try on a dress in male mode and others I am too damn scared to even look.
It all has to do with surroundings and the demeanor of yourself and the SA's on the day.

[Jana]

I've shopped enfemme before, and it's a little bit of a hassle. I hate to draw attention to myself so instead of calling ahead or bothering with fitting room etiquette, I just buy whatever I like (in drab), try it in the comfort and privacy of my home, and return the items that don't work. With time, I developed a good eye for things that fit me well, so I don't return stuff as often as when I first started. Works for me, but I guess everybody has their own method! :)

[MsRenee]

You know at times theres nothing wrong with taking the items into a mens dressing room if you dont want to feel uncomfortable. They cant stop you from trying them on and once in a while you will find a very helpful s/a that will actually help you.
Renee

[Rhonda Ann]

Thanks for the tips from all of you. I live in an area CDing is not excepted well at all. I have been fortunate to know my size pretty good and seldom have to return items.

[bridget thronton]

I often shop in stores that have no men's clothes for sale. I usually just ask where I can try on my selections and i am almost always offered a changing room. I usually buy at one of the items - so i am not wasting their time.

[JenToronto]

I am becoming obsessed with taking this step. I am completely in the closet. I have purchased lots of lingerie over the years with no problems but I want to take the next step. I want to go to a ladies store - have a sales lady ask me for help and let her know I want to buy a skirt and blouse for myself. I am so nervous!! Of course I want to use the store's change room...I just find the whole thing very exciting. I love the forum and all the tips!

[Cheryl T]

Firstly, if you dress at home then buy a cloth tape measure to get accurate measurements. Get dressed (with all your padding) and measure yourself for your bust size, under bust, waist, hips, inseam, waist to knee and waist to shoulders for your torso.
Now you can go to any store's website and shop. When you find something you like check the sizing charts and compare your actual measurements to the sizing chart. You will be reasonably certain that that size will fit you.
Now you can either order on line and pick up in store (JCP and others offer this with free shipping to the store) or go to the store and look for that item. It will take much of the guess work out of your shopping.
You can do the same for shoes....stand barefoot on a piece of blank paper and draw the outline of your foot with a pencil (both feet as they do vary). Now draw parallel lines at the heel and toe. Measure this distance and do the same for the width. Now refer to the size charts for your size and width.

If you like to shop at Goodwill and the like always carry your tape measure and measure the garment. You will know right away if it's going to fit or not.
Do the same if you shop Ebay. If a seller doesn't list the dimensions...ask for them.

[Lillyasia]

At least the JC Penny's near me has dozens of unattended fitting rooms without any judgmental old ladies there to give you incredulous looks. I know many of us just buy things based on the size (especially at places like Christian-run thrift stores) and return it later if it doesn't fit, but at JC Penny's, it's actually really easy to try stuff on now. Today, I saw some shoes on clearance that I liked, so I grabbed a pair of guys' shoes, put the pretty shoes on the bottom, and walked into the fitting room with two nondescript shoe boxes, one on top of the other. They didn't fit, sadly, but at least I learned that before I bought them.

I used to always grab some boring guy clothes, put all the ladies clothes underneath, then ditch the guys' clothes (or not if I wanted them) right before checkout. Also, at thrift stores especially, I would take all the clothes off the hanger and fold them so the price tags were visible, but it wasn't quite as obvious what they were all folded up. For instance, a denim skirt looks the same as shorts or jeans when it's folded. The cashiers like that you're making their jobs easier, and when I'd look at the receipts afterwards, they would often be marked as men's clothing.

Of course the correct thing to do is act as confident and friendly as possible, without looking like you're trying to hide anything, so that if anyone is embarrassed, it's them. But, a lot of us aren't there yet, so stuff like this is helpful.

And please, it's awesome if you're in some part of the world where men buying and trying on women's clothing is considered perfectly normal, but we aren't all as lucky as you are, so please don't rub it in too hard.

So anyone else have tips they've picked up over the years of shopping at retail establishments?
I agree the important thing to do is act confident. If you are still nervous, try this: use one of JC Pennys shopping bags. They have them instead of shopping carts for customer to carry things around before purchase. Place your clothes in there and lay one black shirt or something over all the rest as the bag is black and no one will see a thing. Then carry all your clothes to the mens dressing rooms and take your time trying everything on. Take the clothes that don't fit and hang them back on the racks where they came from. That way the cameras watching can count how many you went in with and how many you came out with.

I believe trying before buying is best because one brand may be cut different than the next. Or a size up or down will look/feel better.


I am becoming obsessed with taking this step. I am completely in the closet. I have purchased lots of lingerie over the years with no problems but I want to take the next step. I want to go to a ladies store - have a sales lady ask me for help and let her know I want to buy a skirt and blouse for myself. I am so nervous!! Of course I want to use the store's change room...I just find the whole thing very exciting. I love the forum and all the tips!

I tried the discount stores like Marshalls. I also tried Goodwill. What I don't like about those places is you have to check in to the fitting rooms. They count what you have and usually hold everything up in the air to count. Sometimes I've gotten stares from the employees but I just stare back.

To avoid all the judgemental employees I prefer to shop the department stores. If you shop the clearance racks and sales, you can find some pretty good deals. The main benefit is the employees are non-judgemental. I think someone on here said they receive training on the CD issue. I think it's where you pay a little more but get a lot better service.

I gotta say I really love JC Pennys now. Their prices are like sale prices elsewhere .

[Eryn]

One thing you want to avoid is the appearance of hiding something. Loss prevention people look for that sort of activity and will scrutinize you more than you want if they think that you're trying to get away with something. I like the shopping bag idea if the bags are freely available to customers.

For using attended dressing rooms while dressed, Persephone gave me a great idea. Always have nicely polished nails and keep the nails displayed while holding the hangers Attendants focus on the clothes you are holding and the nails will give them a strong feminine cue before they ever look at anything else. If nothing else it gives me a lot of confidence in my presentation to be able to flaunt something so feminine and confidence is what helps have a convincing presentation!

[lingerieLiz]

Why worry? On the one hand I have felt uncomfortable going to checkout with some large neanderthanl looming over the cash register. BUT, having worked in a clothing store I know that sales are the key. I shop at the discount stores as well as department stores. I've walked up with a half dozen bras to try on and had the sales lady ask if I would like her to hold them for me. My reply was I wouldn't have anything to try on. In department stores i always use the men's side. In department stores I use that department's dressing room. I have been told that men are not allowed to try on lingerie in that department. I've tried on lingerie and then gone back a few days later and told it was not permitted. I vote with my cash. Other stores don't care and are happy to have a customer.

Half the fun of shopping is to try on things and see what sparks, I have to have this. I've shopped with a lot of women over the years. I watch them take a half dozen items into the dressing room and maybe buy one item. I used to feel commited to buying if it fit. Now I'll pick several maybe items and head for the dressing room. If nothing does it for me I walk out and hand the clothes to the SA and say thanks. I usually try on several bras at a time as do most women I shop with.

[Valerie Nova]

The only thing I would feel too embarrassed to actually do would probably be buying lingerie. Of course, I've purchased lingerie for girlfriends before in the past, so it's not like anyone would have reason to not believe me. And then once I get into the story, it's easy to just keep going along that line. If anyone asks me further questions about my girlfriend, I'll just talk about my most recent ex-girlfriend. Anyway, I rarely buy lingerie, just because as a general rule, more skin equals less hiding masculine traits. So I just buy as little as possible, and focus more of my efforts on finding clothes that I like to wear on top of them.

Of course for most of us, making up stories like this start to lose credibility when shoe shopping. "Size 12 wide stilettos? For your girlfriend? SURE..." I can just grin and bear it now, and I buy most of my shoes at Payless anyway. It helps that the men's aisle for larger sizes is right across from the women's aisle for larger sizes, so if a family with kids heads down it, I can just do a quick about-face and be facing a rack of men's shoes. I can usually force myself to be talkative, friendly, and cordial with the cashier when I actually buy my stuff, and even help them bag up my shoe boxes. Often, I'll make it a point to ask questions, so it doesn't look like I'm embarrassed. I always try and make it so that if one of us has to be embarrassed, it's them, and if I'm feeling like a pervert, I'll try my damndest not to show it.

[PattiAllison]

I have no problem shopping en femme for clothing and I love to chat with the girls at the checkout about what I am buying. However, I have not reached the point where I have the courage to use the ladies dressing room, but that is a goal I want to reach in the very near future. My favorite stores for womens clothing is Kmart and Walmart. I know that JCP has some very cute clothes and their prices have gotten much better, so I will try to shop there in the very near future.

[Trysha]

I think it's all about confidence. I have found one great way to purchase woman's clothing is to think in your mind that you are buying them for your
S/O . The key for me is not to make eye contact while browsing the selections. Woman who work in these store's
are much amused, and may giggle with their friends, but the battle is more within your own head. Hold your head high, and be the lady you really are.
The woman will ignore you, and give you space if you have the proper mind set.

[Eryn]

I have no problem shopping en femme for clothing and I love to chat with the girls at the checkout about what I am buying. However, I have not reached the point where I have the courage to use the ladies dressing room, but that is a goal I want to reach in the very near future.

Funny how our worldviews differ. I had no problem with the dressing room if I was properly en femme but conversations with the girls at the checkout is what caused me pause. I'm doing better at it, though.

[Nicole Erin]

Just wear pantyhose on your head if you are afraid of being recognized. That never causes suspicion.

[MarcyRex]

Actual tip I used: Find your best fitting pants/skirt. Lay flat. Cut a length of string knotted on both ends where the waist band stops. Now, regardless of what the label states, you'll know if it will at least zip up or not fall off by stretching the string along the skirt waist band while it is still on the hanger.

Nowadays, I have the confidence to pull a dressing room as well as go thru the register line.

[wickedmouse]

Some really great tips! I agree about confidence being key and you should all be confident. It takes courage and so much strength to deal with certain negative types.
I shop with my husband, so when he sees something he likes he gives me a clue and no more needs to be said.

[donnatracey]

You know at times theres nothing wrong with taking the items into a mens dressing room if you dont want to feel uncomfortable. They cant stop you from trying them on and once in a while you will find a very helpful s/a that will actually help you.
Renee


I do that all the time in Sears, Penneys, etc and I have never had a problem. Now, dressed en drab and trying on clothes in the ladies fitting rooms?? No way!

[Celeste]

It is about our own inner self confidence and learning to forget about what others may think,after all,you will never see these people ever again.I started out ordering online and making quite a lot of mistakes,it cost me a lot of money and frustration.So I decided to learn how to build that confidence up. I began with just browsing female clothing sections.After that I moved on to purchasing small items like lipstick and makeup,all the time I was feeling that confidence growing even if I did get a frown here or there.

I eventually came to the understanding that it's not about them at all,they are just another face in the crowd and entitled to their opinions...nowadays if I get a bad expression from someone,I just walk out with my purchase and think..wow,another person unable to accept the differences in society.

[Valerie Nova]

I think it's all about confidence. I have found one great way to purchase woman's clothing is to think in your mind that you are buying them for your
S/O . The key for me is not to make eye contact while browsing the selections. Woman who work in these store's
are much amused, and may giggle with their friends, but the battle is more within your own head. Hold your head high, and be the lady you really are.
The woman will ignore you, and give you space if you have the proper mind set.
For me, the confidence comes in part from owning up to the fact that I'm a sexual deviant, or whatever. (disclaimer: "deviant" in the sense of deviating significantly from "normal", and without the most negative connotations.) Like, I'll give them a look that says "yes, I fully intend to purchase these size 12 high-heeled boots so that I can wear them myself. And I really don't care what the **** you think about it." But like, in a more friendly sense than I implied.


It is about our own inner self confidence and learning to forget about what others may think,after all,you will never see these people ever again.I started out ordering online and making quite a lot of mistakes,it cost me a lot of money and frustration.So I decided to learn how to build that confidence up. I began with just browsing female clothing sections.After that I moved on to purchasing small items like lipstick and makeup,all the time I was feeling that confidence growing even if I did get a frown here or there.

I eventually came to the understanding that it's not about them at all,they are just another face in the crowd and entitled to their opinions...nowadays if I get a bad expression from someone,I just walk out with my purchase and think..wow,another person unable to accept the differences in society.

The other day, this one woman at Payless was giving me apprehensive looks as I cashed out, and seemed to be a bit guarded in her demeanor. She was bagging this large boot box and it was difficult for her to get the bag around it, so I immediately helped her with it. I was as polite to her as I could think to be. I guess I figure that it's my duty to set a good example for the rest of us weirdos to the middle-aged shoe and clothing store cashiers of the world. Incidentally, she did seem more friendly after I helped her with that.


Just wear pantyhose on your head if you are afraid of being recognized. That never causes suspicion.

On a more serious note, a large pair of women's sunglasses works much better if your goal is avoiding people's stares.


Actual tip I used: Find your best fitting pants/skirt. Lay flat. Cut a length of string knotted on both ends where the waist band stops. Now, regardless of what the label states, you'll know if it will at least zip up or not fall off by stretching the string along the skirt waist band while it is still on the hanger.

Nowadays, I have the confidence to pull a dressing room as well as go thru the register line.

I have a mental note of how long a skirt can be on my arm before it's so short I feel like I have to keep pulling it down every two seconds. I'm certainly in the minority here, but I actually hate wearing really short skirts. It's the same feeling I'd get running through a room full of people with a towel wrapped around my waist, and not holding it in place with my hands. Just too easy to show more than you bargained for.

[STACY B]

Don't worry one day you will be pushing the other woman out the way to get at the sales stuff that you wouldn't have even thought to touch before . An you will tell the SA at the store sure I would love some help ,, Do you have these in a size 12 ? An you will shop an buy all the things whenever you want an not give it any thought . Once you have done it for awhile it becomes normal even to the point of holding clothes up to yourself in the store to see what they look like . I have been noticing lately other guys that are the way I was in the store an I just laugh an think how silly I was back then ,,Cuz there all looking at him strange now instead of me ,,, I walk in an start shopping instead of looking like I want to rob the place ,,,LOL,,,

[Valerie Nova]

Why worry?
Involuntary reflex. We tend to avoid situations that open us up to embarrassment and ridicule. It can be overcome with practice, of course.


I have been told that men are not allowed to try on lingerie in that department. I've tried on lingerie and then gone back a few days later and told it was not permitted. I vote with my cash. Other stores don't care and are happy to have a customer.
Admittedly, it does weird out many women to see men picking out and trying out items in their section. Even when I'm at my most confident, I always try to be as discreet as possible in front of other customers. For their sake, not mine.


Half the fun of shopping is to try on things and see what sparks, I have to have this. I've shopped with a lot of women over the years. I watch them take a half dozen items into the dressing room and maybe buy one item. I used to feel commited to buying if it fit. Now I'll pick several maybe items and head for the dressing room. If nothing does it for me I walk out and hand the clothes to the SA and say thanks. I usually try on several bras at a time as do most women I shop with.
I prefer being able to match outfits with other clothes and shoes that I already own, so trying on clothes in the store isn't something I enjoy. Until the whole outfit comes together, I never like the way a single item of clothing looks on me. And even when I am wearing the whole outfit, I always avoid mirrors unless I've done makeup. I have pretty high standards; it's usually all or nothing for me. Hell, I can't really even enjoy trying on clothing when I'm a bit overweight. I suppose that's an issue many women have too.

[Rogina B]

The sooner girls here get over this "shyness" the better their life will become.If the woman's dressing rooms are packed,then go to the mens,or if there isn't one,just wait[keep looking] till it dies down.I shop where I want,and never have an issue.I strut right back out into the store often to get the SA's opinion on a fit when required,or to take a different size off the rack. Who really cares what anyone thinks as you want to spend your money on what you want.They will all like you for that!..Now,you may get some frowns from some volunteers[or close to] at a thrift store,but be courteous and polite,and you will leave them dazzled by your confidence. Life is way too short to be embarassed buying what you want!

[Valerie Nova]

Don't worry one day you will be pushing the other woman out the way to get at the sales stuff that you wouldn't have even thought to touch before . An you will tell the SA at the store sure I would love some help ,, Do you have these in a size 12 ? An you will shop an buy all the things whenever you want an not give it any thought . Once you have done it for awhile it becomes normal even to the point of holding clothes up to yourself in the store to see what they look like . I have been noticing lately other guys that are the way I was in the store an I just laugh an think how silly I was back then ,,Cuz there all looking at him strange now instead of me ,,, I walk in an start shopping instead of looking like I want to rob the place ,,,LOL,,,
Seeing other guys furtively trying to purchase women's clothing without making eye contact just makes me laugh now. Still, there are a few stores I frequent where a few of the cashiers seem to recognize me, don't make eye contact, and avoid saying anything more to me than is absolutely necessary. This makes me sad, but at least they're a small minority. A lot of cashiers in my area will avoid eye contact and seem nervous though.

I only went shopping dressed up two or three times, and I dressed very casual in women's jeans, and wore a big pair of sunglasses to hide my face a little on every occasion. One time, all three of the cashiers left and went in back when I approached the checkout area, and just stayed there until I left. I tried not to let it bother me, but I couldn't help it. I don't like upsetting people even if they're kind of closed-minded.

[Daisy41]

I'm glad others have realized that a men's fitting room means it's meant for a guy, not that clothes can only be for a guy! I've taken stuff to a men's fitting room before and been so glad that I did. I've wasted too much time, effort and money on clothing that didn't look right on me or just didn't fit. Another tip I've realized is using my wife as a reference. Her hips 1 inch below her belly button is approximently the size of my natural waist 1 inch above the button. So when it comes to skirts, I generally can go one size above her. With dresses that go S/M/L, I can fit into the size above her as well. She's ended up liking stuff that I've had her try on for me (and vice versa). It really makes the shopping experience more enjoyable :)

[Valerie Nova]

I'm glad others have realized that a men's fitting room means it's meant for a guy, not that clothes can only be for a guy! I've taken stuff to a men's fitting room before and been so glad that I did. I've wasted too much time, effort and money on clothing that didn't look right on me or just didn't fit. Another tip I've realized is using my wife as a reference. Her hips 1 inch below her belly button is approximently the size of my natural waist 1 inch above the button. So when it comes to skirts, I generally can go one size above her. With dresses that go S/M/L, I can fit into the size above her as well. She's ended up liking stuff that I've had her try on for me (and vice versa). It really makes the shopping experience more enjoyable :)
Maybe it's just me, but fitting rooms where I am tend to be for anyone that wants to use them and aren't often separated by gender. There doesn't seem to be any sense to differentiate the fitting rooms anyway, as long as they're just those little single stalls with locking doors and a mirror. If this is the direction things are heading, I say good riddance to gender-segregated fitting rooms.

[Dee Dee Lee]

Quick! Before they all close in January, i have found Fashion Bug to be very welcoming! By accident i went in a FB two years ago to look for something for my wife. I happened to stop by the shoes, saw a cute pair of flats and quickly tried them on. A SA walked by and i started to take them off....she stopped me, sensing my anxiety and told me I could try on anything I wanted! Explained their policy that the girls there had all been trained to br accepting of all shoppers. Even showed me their dressing rooms and how to access them! Since then I have spent hundreds of $$!! Now they even suggest new items they have gotten in that they know i might like. Boo hoo tho...they are closing nationwide in January. Sad! The girls there have become my friends in two different FB stores in our area. I hear Dress Barn is accepting of us girltypesgirltypes girltypes?? Any thoughts on other stores??

[Paula_56]

I am becoming obsessed with taking this step. I am completely in the closet. I have purchased lots of lingerie over the years with no problems but I want to take the next step. I want to go to a ladies store - have a sales lady ask me for help and let her know I want to buy a skirt and blouse for myself. I am so nervous!! Of course I want to use the store's change room...I just find the whole thing very exciting. I love the forum and all the tips!


Jen

Read this article I wrote about shopping
http://www.femulate.org/2012/09/theyre-for-me_23.html

[Sharon B.]

I used to worry about somethings but now I just go ahead and tell the sales associate that the items are for myself. Most of the time they will offer a dressing room for me to try the items on, I am mostly under-dressed as a woman when out shopping items seem to fit better with the right undergarments on.

[Celeste]

Maybe it's just me, but fitting rooms where I am tend to be for anyone that wants to use them and aren't often separated by gender. There doesn't seem to be any sense to differentiate the fitting rooms anyway, as long as they're just those little single stalls with locking doors and a mirror. If this is the direction things are heading, I say good riddance to gender-segregated fitting rooms.

I agree,its not like people are walking out of the stalls nude or something and it's no ones business if I'm going in there with boot socks or a dress.

[lingerieLiz]

We are our own worst enemy. I do understand the lack of confidence we all experience, but it is no difference than other things we learn to do. It is not illegal to buy, try or look. I often shop with my wife and sometimes with she and her friends. Some of them know I CD and some may suspect it. I don't shout CD present. I also don't make an issue in using the department's dressing rooms. Unfortunately most of the incidents with men in women's dressing rooms are not about them trying on clothes. With cell phones that take pictures stores have a lot more to worry about.

If I'm looking at clothes I tell them what size I'm looking for. If they ask who for, I tell them it's for me. I've had a major department store manager try and find a blouse for me. SAs know when it would not be good for their customers and you to be in the same dressing area. Yes, there are some SAs that run off and for all I know quit. I was shopping at a brand store and when I told the SA the skirt was for me and size she said, Excuse me and I'll see if we have it in the back. Well she never did come back, but another was happy to wait on me.

[Amy R Lynn]

I've only been shopping in drab. I've never gone En-Femm. I have always found that most places are very accepting if you tell them that it is for you. I only ever divulge that it is for me if I have to try it on, or am having a hard time finding what I am looking for.

sorta funny shopping story: I was at the mall walking between shops and got stopped by one of the "Dead Sea Salt hand care" shop SA's. she called me over and asked how many women were on my shopping list. So I said three. My Mom, Sister, and Girl friend. She started in on her speech about the products and then said I would like to show you our most amazing product. Can I see your hand? I held my hand up to her. She actually stammered for a second. I had five very neatly manicured and clear coated nails. She asked me if I did them myself. Of course that just lead right into what she wanted to sell me, the hand manicure set. I ended up buying one (it was only $24 for one set and I do like the hand cream, and needed a new nail buffer). So at the end she said "I'm sure your girl friend or uhh.. who ever, will love it!". Hmmm, I think she was onto me!

I have only been out shopping for womens things for myself a coule of times. The one thing that I have learned is that you have to "own it"! Be confident about it, and they will usually precieve it as genuine. Besides that most of them love to see someone buying something.