Upset by wif'e's question

[ChelseaErtel]

I was comfortable with my being transsexual. My therapist (both) are as well but my wife asked me something that really upset me and I just can give her answer.

She said that I think like a man and will never be anything but a man in women's clothes. She went on to say that the nurturing and other "women's" thinking processes do not exist in me. I feel that my years of suppression and conformation had her thinking that. But there is no way for me to know if I think like a woman or can or will. I feel I have the wrong body, when I'm dressed I feel normal, when I see myself after dressing and makeup I see me. I hate my man reflection. I love the makeup, shopping, I'm chatty and emotional.....but her "thinking like a woman" really has me upset.

I can't counter it. I know she's in the angry denial stage and she even was telling me my psychologist was just a social worker which she is not.

I've taken those test on line and come out female or androgynous but I don't hold too much faith in those things.

Has this ever come up with any of you?

[MsRenee]

What I can come up with here is. If we think like a man would we be crossdressers. I dont think so,being able to think like a lady has alot to do with us dressing. I lean towards being more femenine inside and it projects out on how I look and how I handle myself. This is why they have therapist is to help us learn to live and think like a lady. I hope this helps you girl. I know its not much.
Renee

[Bree-asaurus]

It sounds like your wife may not be making arguments that are logical, but arguments that she is going to believe no matter what because she does not accept the fact that you could be transsexual and she doesn't want you to do anything about being transsexual. I mean seriously, can we really even define "thinking like a woman"????? And who cares if your psychologist was just a social worker. Mine was and he was friggin awesome and a very heavy hitter in the LGBT community. You are right, these are just words of anger and denial.

We really need a LOT more information regarding the history of you and your wife and and how much you two have talked about transsexuality/crossdressing/whatever and how much of who you feel you really are that has been exposed to her. It's really hard to give any advice with what little you've posted :/

[ChelseaErtel]

Funny, but I just got some new VS panties to replace old worn out ones and my first pair of heel boots. I just love them and feel so happy when they fit. I didn't feel like a man, I felt very feminine and wanted to try on outfits to see which worked best.

Both of your replies help. It's an unanswerable question. My therapist is in fact a board certified psychologist but that doesn't matter your right.

My wife only knows what I've told her since I came out to her on Nov 1st (yes, 15 days ago). She is going through a lot of pain and I'm sympathetic. I'm going to let this blow over and let her find out more. I have been asking her to go to couple's counseling with a TG specialist. She says she's not ready, but in time will go I'm sure. I tried to get her to log on here, but no go. Too early.

When I'm in woman mode, I feel happy, I feel like me. Even my mother saw it. I had told my mother too and I just got back from two days taking care of things for her. I came into her house and announced I'd change, but she said to come as I am. She was wonderful. I brought a ton of clothes and modeled them all. She loved them and said I had style, lovely legs and carried myself like a real woman. We both love shoes so sharing that with her was so much fun. What an amazing woman she is. It was great to be a runway girl for the first time and to show my real me to a family member.

This is all so hard, so raw for my wife that time is the only answer. This forum does help even if its just to affirm that I'm not alone. Thank you all so much, a big MUAH to you all!

[melissaK]

There are quite few resources you can find to help you see the issues your wife faces when her Husband announces he's changing gender. They are her issues, not so much yours. Your patient attitude is a good thing I think.

As for thinking like a woman? It's one of those subjective things; you know it when you see it. But people are so diverse genetically and have many life experience differences there's no way to draw boundaries or give anything but general profile tests of behaviors we "think of" as being feminine.

But your wife is likely right that you are not likely possessed of the right chromosomes to be a woman and your brain and mind are probably physicslly different. Then, you weren't raised as actually being a woman, so your cultural training is different.

But all that still doesn't stop us from desperately wanting out of our male bodies and male roles. :)

[Marleena]

It sounds like your wife may not be making arguments that are logical, but arguments that she is going to believe no matter what because she does not accept the fact that you could be transsexual and she doesn't want you to do anything about being transsexual. I mean seriously, can we really even define "thinking like a woman"????? And who cares if your psychologist was just a social worker. Mine was and he was friggin awesome and a very heavy hitter in the LGBT community. You are right, these are just words of anger and denial.


I"m going along with Bree on this one. No two people even think alike. It's going to take time to retrain after living life as a man for so many years. I would also suspect that you already have many feminine characteristics in your personality. Don't sweat it.

[Jana]

Chelsea, without knowing you, your wife or the context of your relationship, it's difficult to even speculate why your wife is acting this way. My suggestion would be to bring this up to your therapist, and eventually sit down and talk with your wife about it. It's her choice whether or not to be supportive, but if she chooses not to, there's no need to be destructive either.

[Persephone]

Hi Chelsea!

If you are only 15 days into dealing with this with her it doesn't seem surprising that she would feel that way. And it is realy interesting that over on the MtF side Jaymee has simultaneously asked a very similar question. Perhaps Jaymee's thread, "Are We Foreigners In Ladyland? (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184773-Are-we-foreigners-in-Ladyland)" may have some helpful thoughts and responses.

Your wife is not only going through a lot of what you described as "pain," she is also loosing her husband, the man she married. She has probably always perceived you, and thought of you, as a man and now that core belief is turned upside down.

I haven't seen it openly in my spouse, but I've seen it in others. Two of my long-term friends call me by my female name and interact with me as a woman, but they are still prone to slipping and using male pronouns. They still see "him" in me, in one case even after five years. It isn't an easy transition for them to make and it must only be that much more difficult for a spouse.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Jorja]

Remember this, she married a man. She expects that man in her life. She feels hurt and deceived at this point. She is lashing out in an attempt to keep her man. You have known about your dressing and feelings for a long time now. She just found out 15 days ago. It is a lot to deal with. Give her some time. There are No guarantees that it will workout. You have to be ready and willing to lose everything before proceeding.

As for your thought process, it may not be exactly female but it will be pretty darn close. Just keep popping them little blue pills the doctor gave you.

[kellycan27]

How does a woman think??? I think..... like I think

[kendra_gurl]

I normally will not post in this forum as I am not transexual but Chelsea I've read a lot of your post in other forums and thought well duh! you have been a male for 51 years so how else can she expect you to think. How can you expect to think any differently? Our thought processess are kinda determinined by our real life experiences arn't they?

Good luck on your journey and just keep your thinking process true to yourself

[Andrea J]

She said that I think like a man and will never be anything but a man in women's clothes.

Only you can ultimately know if you are a transsexual. But think like this, if there is a genetic girl that is a real tomboy and does stereotypically boy things, is it fair to say that she is nothing but a boy in girls clothes? Assuming that the tomboy if not an FTM, then of course everybody accepts that she's a girl that is just a tomboy. What I mean is a girl doesn't have to be a stereotypical girly girl. So you don't have to be a stereotypical girly girl.

Though once you get used to letting your girl side out you may become more girly than she might imagine.

[ChelseaErtel]

It is very soon after her finding out. Time will be our friend eventually, so I'll stay patient and let things take their natural course and be as supportive and helpful as I can.

I knew the replies would confirm my feelings, but this kind if hit me hard and just need to see the replies to feel OK again.

Thank you, thank you. I really needed your help and you came through.

[KellyJameson]

You have to be extremely cautious about what words you use to describe female versus male emotions and behavior because most of those words describe something that can be found in both men and women.

It goes deeper than behavior and even deeper than emotion to something else that is so slippery it is almost impossible to hold in your head for longer than a moment.

It goes beyond aggression because both females and males can be aggressive. It goes beyond sexuality, beyond anything that can be found outside of yourself almost as if you can feel a vibration that is mixed into your blood and flows through you that can only be expressed as female.

It is who you are at your deepest core that has always been with you but you could not give it a name but would feel it and this feeling would influence how you acted, what you were attracted to and not, how you experienced your body including how you move, how you related to men and women.

It affects every single moment of your existence but sometimes so softly you did not notice you were being influenced and other times so strongly that you became fearful wondering what kind of craziness was inside you.

Absolutely do not allow others to define it for you or you will be filled with doubt and self loathing, no two people experience it in the same way but all those who are on the spectrum share the experience.

It is extremely personal but vaguely familiar in relation to others so when you read their words you will occassionally have those " ah ha" moments.

In my opinion only those who live it can articulate it and even therapists are using the words they learned from those who live and have lived the experience.

[Nicole Erin]

How do women think? well, you probably don't want to know and i don't want to start a fire. It isn't good.
Look, no matter what one wants to do in life, there will always be someone saying they can't or trying to dis-validate.

A lot of folks have problems with TS. Typically the better one passes and presents, the worse they are picked apart by the haters one someone finds out. Non passable ones might hear "you look like a man in a dress" and the really passable ones might hear "but you have male chromosomes".

People are just weird about us. Like if you were not born a particular sex than you are not real. Kind of stupid though cause you see a well presenting and looking TS and yet some say she is less of a woman than even the 300 pound, mustached, hairy-knuckled hollering ugly bitch I had for an 8th grade gym teacher.

Just do the best you can. Haters are going to hate either way.

[Kathryn Martin]

I would ask you the following questions:

- what do you believe you are transsexual? and what do you mean by that?

- you feel your body is wrong and that you feel normal when you are dressed. How does your dressing change your body?

- how to you think that women think? how do men think?

- do you feel you know what your spouse is speaking about?

Forget about the online tests they mean nothing whatsoever. Any person with any intelligence can manipulate the tests to reflect they are a sheep on the moon. They give you nothing.

[ChelseaErtel]

To answer your questions I do hate my body. I never like it and hve wanted a female form for a long time. Took some thereby to figure it all out. The dressing is a symbol of femininity and helps me feel normal. But I do want to transition. When is the next question. If I didn't have family I'd start transitioning now. I'd love to have my male naughty bits gone. I find them annoying.

Her question got me thinking. But it's kind of a nonsensical question and she said that tonight. I'm not worried now. I've seen two psychologists and but agree with my being transsexual.

Just posted this because I needed some support when I was feeling so down.

Thanks.

[ReineD]

What is thinking like a woman?

I have many female family and friends. We're all different. Some of us are more competitive, others are more analytical, others are more emotional, some are stronger while others are weaker in different areas, some of us have tempers while others do not, we all have different interests, different things that we think are funny, some of us are clothes horses while some are not, we don't all wear makeup. Some of us are domestic while others are not, some are risk takers while others are worrywarts. I could go on and on, but the point is that you (and the rest of us), are all a product of two things: the mishmash of our bodies, hormones, neurons, brain chemistry, etc, that form our personalities, sexual preferences, gender identities AND our environments (our upbringings, past experiences, influences from all the relationships we've ever had, everything we've ever learned, etc).

You will always be you, the sum total of your past plus an ever changing product of an ever changing accumulation of life experiences. And this holds true even for those of us who do not transition. If you identify as a woman, then this is your gender identity. We cannot generalize "womanhood" and say that some belong to it while others do not. It doesn't work that way. It's all a question of how you see yourself.

[ChelseaErtel]

It's been two weeks since I came out to my wife. There have been ups and downs but overall we are doing very well.

The hardest thing for me is I still love my wife. I had thought that I had lost her four years ago when she became very cold and intimacy was cut off (not that I really minded, I hate my man bits). It turned out she thought that I was gay and just couldn't say anything so she internalized it all. I felt awful for her. She felt awful for me.

So, the reason that she thought I was gay was because I am transsexual. That was no comfort to her. She had read on line about TS marriages and other issues while I was away for three days taking care of my mother in PA. She knew the odds were against us but could foresee a life without me. I can't see a life without her. She came to me in despair, seeing only a world without me.

I want and need to transition. I want and need to stay with my wife. I can't do both at the present. If I transition I may lose my wife and if I don't, I have to live a double life and work through my daily life as a woman in a man's body. There is no way what my wife will feel like later, so I am hopeful. I think I have reason to be optimistic as she has been extraordinary so far.

So we talked last night and we hugged and cried. In my heart, deep down, I know that I can't hurt her or lose her. I have to delay or sacrifice my complete happiness for her. I know that if I lost her if I transition I'd be miserable, I can't live without her I have found I still have the woman I married and love her deeply. We can't have everything in life we want or need. I have promised her I won't do anything that will split us up. I promised her we will grow old together. I promised her I will not do anything without consulting her and coming to a consensus. I'm very sure I will eventually be able to go on HRT and perhaps that will be enough. I'll have to hide my feminine side but if my body becomes feminine, then that will be a huge improvement over my current body and I can live with that.

If I have to sacrifice I will for her sake because I love her more than myself. I cannot relay in words the heartbreak I felt when she only saw the future without me. It's tears me up just writing this.

So, I made my promise and I always keep my promises. I say what I mean and mean what I say. It will be very hard, but I'm in my mid fifties and have been doing this hiding for a long time. The upside is I don't have to hide from my wife or mother and that secret is out in the open and that was hugely freeing. Time heals and acceptance grows.

She wants intimacy again. I am not comfortable with penetrating her (not even sure Mr. Nasty would rise to the occasion), but there are other methods she loves and we can try new things (massagers?). I will be happy to please her and that is enough. Where that leads only time will tell.

My wife and I talked about not wanting to grow old alone. We'll last night I said how bad would it be if we were old together but both women? She thought about it for a while and said that might be fine later on. More hope, and that springs eternal correct?

As for telling my 13 year old and my 20 year old son, I know we can do that without lasting negative consequences. But my wife is not ready for that at all, so we are in a calm disagreement over that. But if we decide to tell them, we consult with a professional to ensure the best outcome. Again, time will be on my side I hope.

On a little aside, my trip up to take care of things for my mother went better than expected. I had told my mother just before my wife. I was planning on alternative living arrangements for when I told my wife and was asking if I needed a place to stay for a while could I stay with her. Then she needed to know why, and I am incapable of lying, so I told her. She would have thought the worst and fretted if I didn't tell her so out it came.

My mother is bed ridden for the most part after two bad strokes and I go up each month to take care of things, check on her, her house and the help I have coming to assist her. So this visit I told her I'd be Chelsea when I got there and will just yell into her bedroom that I'm there and go upstairs to change in to her son.

To my utter amazement she said come in as I was and turn on the lights. She said she couldn't see her son, but did see an attractive woman dressed smartly. I gave her a big hug and we talked until she need to sleep. The next day I dressed in jeans and a cute top and did some errands around the house. Then, I asked her if she'd like to see some of the outfits I had with me and she said that would be great.

So we had a fashion show. I tried on different outfits, mixed and matched tops bottoms, shoes and boots, jewelery and we had a blast. She love's my legs and said that I moved like a woman. Oh my god that that make me fell wonderful. She said that she couldn't call me anything other than my given name, and I told her that was fine as I'd always be her little boy. I was Chelsea the entire trip and that was nice. Even had a minor eye makeover at the Clinique counter at Macy's - I'm getting bolder.

So when I travel to PA I can be Chelsea the whole time and that will help. I hope HRT will be a option in a while so I'll stay hopeful. There are two doors in front of me now, and the one with my wife is the one with the most light.

There are no guarantees on how well I'll be able to adapt. I'm out and I want to be Chelsea in every way - transition fully, name change, birth certificate.....but right now not without my wife. I have never been happier since I've been able to be Chelsea and life as Chelsea. Hiding and living a secret live was very taxing on me, so I'm in a better place than I ever have been before and I'll do my damnedest to hold on to those positive aspects.

I'm such a chatty girl....

[ChelseaErtel]

Reine, you are awesome.

[Saffron]

A lot of women are not feminine at all, does that mean that they are all FTM? I don't think so.

Gender identity does nothing to do with mannerisms or gender cliches.

[MsRenee]

You have alot on your platter girl. Im hoping that the two of you can find a happy medium to were you both are happy.The growing old part together I can cordinate with. My s/o and I have been togther the better part of 20 yrs and was married 13 of it. Not sure if my dressing split us or not but we did grow old of each other but after a yr apart we found each other again and now weve planned to grow old together again each in our own rocker. lol. If love is there you two will find it and that will conquer all. I do wish you two all my love and will say a prayer for you both.
Renee

[Jorja]

My heart goes out to you, Chelsea. I know this is not easy. You are finding yourself in that difficult position of having to chose between who you love and who you need to be. We have said it many times here, the road to transition is full of pitfalls and difficulties. This is one of them. We have mentioned that if you are going to follow this road, you will pay the price for it. As sad as it is, you are going to have to make a choice that is going to hurt no matter what you do. Give it some deep thought before making a decision. Make the choice that will be best for YOU in the end.

[ChelseaErtel]

Give it some deep thought before making a decision. Make the choice that will be best for YOU in the end.

Dear Jorja:

Deep thought indeed, yes yes. I am hoping that in time she'll begin to accept and then for each stage in transition the next one will be no big deal. Who knows but time. I just read Traci's post on her ordeal from SRS, but oddly that did not deter me form hoping for SRS. I would not do two surgeries at once however, wow! Thank you.

[Sara Jessica]

Chelsea, I feel for you. While your TG path of self-awareness seems to have come on with blinding speed, you are clearly in a place that is occupied by many of us.

Married, in love with your spouse, with children and I presume career.

Transition for us can often mean trading one set of issues for another. And the honesty you conveyed about the conversation with your wife betrays the significance of those other issues, namely the prospect of moving on without your wife, and her without you. She holds the cards at this point. Most women who identify as heterosexual don't respond well at the prospect of switching teams as would the perception be from a public POV. She would be in a lesbian relationship in others' eyes. Not easy for the heterosexual woman.

Don't kid yourself. From what you describe the odds are better than not that your wife will not stay with you should you transition. Whether that is evident now, or becomes more clear as time goes by, you need to ask yourself the difficult questions before proceeding.

Take this slow. I have heard some of your exact words before out of the mouth of a dear friend. Your words take me back to sitting in restaurants with her for hours on end and hearing how she was holding onto this unrealistic dream that her wife would come back around despite her transition. That didn't happen and the end result was not a happy tale.

Be careful. Consider a middle path, so to speak, as a legitimate option if you are able to find fulfillment on both sides of the gender fence.

[Kate Simmons]

There is always a lot to consider. It took me some 30 years to actually come "out" openly (as Ericka), mostly for the sake of the children but also my heart was wrenched for the same reason as yours. I did not want to short change my wife but in the long run, she told me she could not compete with my femininity and the attention I gave it, so we separated. In my case, I realized I did not need to go through the whole process of transition but it was indeed a process mentally and I feel that is the most difficult part. Now I can be who I want to be, when I want to be and am not "locked in" to either mode and it is totally my choice on how I wish to present.Everyone is different, however, and I whole heartedly applaud my friends who follow through on their hopes and dreams. The caveat with the whole thing is there is really no guarantee no one will get hurt but that, my friend, is life. Keep us advised of your feelings and progress. Your friends are here for you Chelsea.:)

[ChelseaErtel]

I know I may have to forgo transition,all or part. But I'll travel down whatever path comes, but very slowly and deliberately. I know the odds are stacked up against us, but I think I can find a stage where I can be happy, or as happy as I can be.

The middle path is an option, as is both sides of middle. Only time will tell, and I still have plenty left. Oh if I could have read the signs earlier in my life. But then again I might not have found my wife and had our beautiful children.

[kimdl93]

Chelsea, You've been through a lot and put your wife through a lot as well over a few weeks time. Please try to give each other some respite from the contemplation and worry. Your out to your wife and perhaps some small steps will ease your frustrations and not stress your wife. The trips to your mom sound like a great way to achieve some balance for the moment. The most effective tools have for reaching your dual goals of retaining your marriage and transition are patience and time.

But it also seems that your wife is yearning for intimacy. Please try to take the pressure off yourself and just focus on her in those moments. By now I am sure you know her emotional and physical buttons,so use that knowledge.

[Kate Simmons]

The bottom line is we are who we are for a reason. Jimmy Stewart showed what would happen in a very graphic fashion if things were different. It really is a "wonderful life" , especially when we finally get to follow through on our heart's desire my friend.Sometimes it has more meaning that way. I've been told many times over that things would not be as good if I wasn't who I am.:)

[Raychel]

It sounds to me like you have everything figured out pretty well. This is a very difficult thing for you to be dealing with, but you are right and have your priorities in the right place, Your own overall happiness will definitly benifit from a few sacrifices. If the people around you are happy, then your life will be better.

And you said it yourself, You would be miserable without your wife.

I wish you the best. :hugs:

[Babeba]

Chelsea,

I think it's very normal for you and your wife to have major upheaval at the moment, especially if she has thought for four years you might be gay and felt awful but didn't know how to say anything.

First things first: she probably has no experience with transsexualism. Nada. Zilch. You've had a lot longer to get used to this than she has, and she'll need time. She might think some of the crazy things that cross dressers come in here (the TS forum) to say because she really has no idea what this is. Please be patient and kind throughout her learning process.

Second, simply telling is a big step in transition, and not one that can be blazed through at lightning speed for a relationship to last. Sarah Jessica is right, a lot of relationships end in divorce - but by no means all. If your wife comes and joins this site, she can join FAB and I promise we'll take care of her. :hugs: it's a lot like losing a loved one to have a TS partner, I'm told. Sometimes it's a lot like gaining a loved one as well, but that realization doesn't always happen at the same time as the first realization.

Thirdly, how would your wife feel if you took antidepressants to make your mind feel better? If she is alright with the concept of mind-altering pharmaceuticals, then HRT is a simple, logical step to help ease some of the in congruency between mind and body. As some of the women here say, ease the 'testosterone poisoning'.

Fourthly on the topic of 'thinking female,' did you ask your wife what that meant? She is the only one who can answer that. It's a good starting place for a conversation. Personally, I attribute a lot of the things I love about my partner's male side to the existence of that femaleness inside: empathy, mindfulness of others, a great sense of whimsy, a love of really nice food and the process behind making it by hand... Maybe making a list of things you love about each other and then discussing whether those things are gendered might be a good exercise.

Fifthly, without getting into graphic details because that wouldn't be appropriate, there are many ways to be intimate which do not involve mr. Nasty. Please do think about you enjoying yourself in the moments too - if you don't have a good time, it will become a chore and eventually one you or your wife resent. Even if you don't have a happy ending, there may be some way you can like the process, right? It may mean one or both of you needing to re-wire your sensuality, but you can still have an enjoyable intimate self - especially if you don't put pressure on for any one act.

[Marleena]

Great replies here. I can't add much except slow down.lol. It will take time for everything to fall into place. Your wife is probably panicking because everything is happening so quickly. Cooler heads will prevail.

[Paula_56]

The fact that this upsets you is an indication that you do possess those qualities,

[ChelseaErtel]

I felt the same way. After thinking about it and talking with my wife, it's a non issue. But, as always I like to ask things as they come because this form has helped me cope so I hope someone can gain some help and support by reading all the replies.

Thanks you all so much, I love you all.

Chelsea

[Kate Simmons]

I felt the same way. After thinking about it and talking with my wife, it's a non issue. But, as always I like to ask things as they come because this form has helped me cope so I hope someone can gain some help and support by reading all the replies.

Thanks you all so much, I love you all.

ChelseaAnd THAT, my friend, is the reply of a true woman.:)

[kimdl93]

Here's the deal. The concept she's bringing up with her question is both subjective and multi-faceted. You're wife probably is right to some degree - you are biologically male, have grown and lived your life presenting as male. Its quite natural that you have both ingrained and learned male thought patterns. Its also possible, maybe probable, that some of your ingrained thought patterns are feminine. I don't know its by MRI or PET scans, but its been observed that transsexuals have discernable - observable brain structures, and by inference some thought patterns similar to women.

I'd differentiate that from the enthusiasm you have for and satisfaction you find in all things feminine. Some of what you describe as I guess evidence of femininity is the superficial part - the clothes, the movements, etc. Try not to confuse the two.

[Ceri Anne]

My wife only knows what I've told her since I came out to her on Nov 1st (yes, 15 days ago). She is going through a lot of pain and I'm sympathetic. I'm going to let this blow over and let her find out more. I have been asking her to go to couple's counseling with a TG specialist. She says she's not ready, but in time will go I'm sure. I tried to get her to log on here, but no go. Too early.

Chelsea, as you said, its only been 15 days, and your wife has done incredibly well so far with the shock and transition. Give her months and take small steps, it will be worth it in the end, for you, your wife and your kids. I know your excited and anxious to get started, but it took you years to come to the point you're at now, and she has only had 15 days. As Jennifer implied when she posted her "bearded women" link in another post recently, coming to understand and accept this from your SO is not easy, and takes time. Picture her coming to you suddenly and saying she wants a penis and is growing a beard, and you should accept and welcome me as such. If you wern't CD already, it would be a complete shock on many levels. This is what your wife is going thru now. From what you have posted so far, she is doing remarkable in adjusting, trying to understand and adapt. I have already seen thru your posts how what you figured was a dead marriage, has already gotten stronger, with better communication thru this "conflict". Give her the same understanding and acceptance you desire, give her time, and I think you will find yourself in a very good place in the future. Its not guaranteed, but I think signs are looking good.

[vetobob9]

Your wife appears confused. She seems to be thinking that the way a person thinks is genetic. This has been proven false. The way we think is actialy shaped by the language and culture we grow up in. It has nothing to do with genetically and it has nothing to do biological sex.

[ChelseaErtel]

This is old news now and she does understand. It has only been 16 days since I told her and was in denial and a bit angry. Perfectly natural to lash out.

We are doing very well (I have an update in another post) and we have reached an equilibrium. We love each other deeply and very strongly I are going to do everything we can to make it work.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Remember this, she married a man. She expects that man in her life. She feels hurt and deceived at this point. She is lashing out in an attempt to keep her man. You have known about your dressing and feelings for a long time now. She just found out 15 days ago. It is a lot to deal with. Give her some time. There are No guarantees that it will workout. You have to be ready and willing to lose everything before proceeding.

As for your thought process, it may not be exactly female but it will be pretty darn close. Just keep popping them little blue pills the doctor gave you.

Jorja is one of our great Sage's so head her words carefully. They will give you clarity.

[Allsteamedup]

The differences in male thinking as opposed to female thinking are well documented after taking estradiol.

Those differences are also acknowledged in transition by the families living with them.

After transition the ways you approach life are very different than before. If you would like a reference PM me.