I Am Back & My SRS Was NO Cake Walk

[Traci Elizabeth]

I know many of you have wondered what happened to Traci after she flew to Bangkok for her SRS.

I had my SRS and FFS at the same time on October 12th using an epidural and general anesthesia. Things went downhill from there.

When I awoke in the recovery room for the first time still under the numbness of the epidural, my doctor told me there was a problem. I had a lot of scar tissue inside of me (since I have never had surgery before, he said it had to of come from trauma to the area at some point in my life), and my pelvic girdle was small and narrow, as well as having little space between my colon and bladder which all resulted in me having less vaginal depth than I had hope for. So that was not the news I wanted to hear.

The next time I awoke, the epidural had worn off and I was in horrific pain. Pain so severe you would welcome death. I could not stand it and was screaming for help.

I was told that my nose was packed from my feminizing Rhinoplasty which was done first and as a result I could not breathe through my nose. And for some reason, I was not breathing through my mouth. So they had to put tubes down me to force oxygen into my lungs. That being the case, they could NOT give me morphine. Without the morphine, the pain was unbearable. After screaming and clamping down on the nurse's hands so hard and not letting go, she too was in pain, Another nurse tried to tell me they could not give me any pain meds because of my breathing problems. She just kept saying "Relax Traci. Traci Relax."

I did everything but relax to get relief from the pain. I remember the head surgical nurse preparing a shot (not for pain but to knock me out). For the next five days, I would regain consciousness for short periods of time always awakening in severe pain.

I went into a deep depression and to a dark place to escape the pain. I refused to eat any of the liquid food they prepared for me. I just gave up. I just could not stand the pain. It was more than I could bare.

My face was totally bandaged from my forehead to my lip with a breathing mask covering my nose and mouth. My bottom was bandaged from just above my belly button to the backside of my butt with drain tubes and catheter.

At some point on the sixth day, they sent me to my cottage with tons of medications including pain meds. For the next two weeks, the pain only got worse and the pain meds did very little to help. I stopped eating completely on a daily basis or would just eat a few bits. I lost a lot of weight quickly and became even more fragile. The visiting head nurse gave me an ultimatum – eat or go back to the hospital. I chose the lesser of two evils, I started eating.

But my pain just kept getting worse. It was with me 24/7 and there was no escape from it. Then on Halloween, I had emergency vaginal surgery.

The reason I was having so much pain was because my body had rejected some of the tissue in and around my new vagina; and that tissue had died. The tissue at the outer base of my vagina had become infected and inflamed. Finally, the stitching in that latter area had become a problem with the infected tissue.

This Halloween emergency surgery was done under local anesthesia. And I am here to tell you that getting “many” shots in and all around your vagina is as close to levitating you off the operating table as you will ever get, and that is an understatement. My God that hurt!
The second vaginal surgery was a success. The dead tissue and the infected tissue were cut out, new tissue was graphed, and I was re-sewn up. The next day, I was still in pain but NOTHING like I was feeling. This new pain was a “blessing and a relief.”

But Thailand was not done with me yet. Anyone who has ever been to Bangkok knows how horrible the driving is and the traffic. Well, on my way to the airport for my return trip, my driver had a low speed head-on collision with a “bus.” After the collision, he backed up and floored it to get away from the scene of the accident. I have no idea if anyone in the bus was hurt or not. Me – well, my back and neck still hurt.

So here I am 34 days post-op still weak and fragile. I am still in pain and talking pain medications. I have limited mobility. Spend 40 minutes three times a day dilating. Wear feminine pads 24/7 and I have to change those several times a day. Have to use those “ice cold” baby wipes every time I pee. Speaking of which, no one ever told me that as a woman with a vagina whenever I pee, it goes everywhere in every direction. No wonder I need baby wipes.

I now have a rash from the feminine pads rubbing against my new vagina. I still have to sit on my whoopee cushion and search for that “one” spot that does not hurt my vagina.

I have a lot of restrictions from my doctor - here are SOME of them:
• I have to use a pillow between my legs when I want to sleep on my side until December 2nd
• I cannot cross my legs or feet until January 12th (this is really hard not to do)
• I cannot lift things with any weight until February 12th
• I cannot bend over at the waist until February 12th
• I cannot squat until February 12th
• I cannot drive a car until February 12th
• I cannot take a bath until April 12th
• And the biggies, I cannot masturbate, touch my clitoris, or open either labia until April 12th


So when you read how easy SRS is, remember me as your dose of reality.


Bottom line – the happiest day of my life was when I was “whole, complete, and congruent.”


I have been asked if I knew what I know now after going to hell and back, would I still have SRS? In a heartbeat! I would have bore any cost to be “whole.” You can’t understand that until you are post-op.


I will post more in the coming days. I will be more than happy to answer anyone's questions either here or in private.

[PaulaAnn]

OMG !! I'm at a loss for the right words here .....anyhow ,I'm glad you are back and made it through the "operation(s)" OK.I pray for your speedy recovery;and good luck Traci.
Paula

[Nicole Erin]

I am kind of surprised they would do two major surgeries (srs and ffs) so close to the same time.

I think your story might be one of the more extreme cases of SRS going badly. I think most girls pull thru OK.

Thing is, what if you end up having long term complications from SRS? I once knew a girl who had that problem. She had gone to Biber but I don't know how she is doing these days since we lost contact many years ago. Course soon after her surgery, Biber retired and kicked the bucket so he wasn't around to fix things.

Not like I can afford any type of surgery but I honestly question if it's even worth it.

[ReneeT]

Traci- I am so glad that you are here with us now. I pray that things only continue ti improve from here. Do you have a gyn or surgeon following you now?

I am also surprised - and not pleasantly- that SRS and FFS would be performed in the same setting.......

[Paulette]

You are my prayers for a speedy and un-eventful (I think you have had all of the events allotted for SRS) recovery.

[Kirsty_D]

Holy f@@king shit!! I kept in touch with Melody when you were recovering, pestering her for information all the time. That sounds extremely traumatic and not a good start into womanhood. I feel for you, I really do.

I hope now that you are home you'll find relax and recover quickly.

What do you think caused your complications?

[Eryn]

Traci, it is so nice to hear from you. You've obviously had a rough time, but every day will be better from here on out. Keep your chin up! :hugs:

Hugs, Eryn

[Pamela Kay]

Traci, it is so good to hear you made it home and I'm so sorry for all the pain and trouble you had to deal with. I had FFS on Oct 2nd and I can't imagine having SRS at the same time. I hope your healing goes better and it's good to know you're home.

I'm curious if you had it to do over again if you would chose to go somewhere besides Thailand or chose a different doctor if you did?

Get some rest lady, we have missed you around here!

[Traci Elizabeth]

Traci, it is so good to hear you made it home and I'm so sorry for all the pain and trouble you had to deal with. I had FFS on Oct 2nd and I can't imagine having SRS at the same time. I hope your healing goes better and it's good to know you're home.

I'm curious if you had it to do over again if you would chose to go somewhere besides Thailand or chose a different doctor if you did?

Get some rest lady, we have missed you around here!


If I had it to do all over again, I would choose my same doctor. He is an excellent surgeon. To me what counts in SRS in the appearance of your entire genitalia. Mine looks beautiful just like any other natal woman's.

Listen, my thread is not intended to bash my doctor in any way fashion or form. I was just relating what I went through and to show a different side of what SRS can be like. A dose of reality to some of the risk factors that can and do occur with SRS.

My body rejecting tissue has nothing to do with my surgeon's skills or experience. It has to do with how my body reacted to the surgery. Also remember, I am older, thin, small framed, and did nothing physical to prepare my body for this invasive surgery. Meaning I was not exercising, walking, or doing anything to get my body in prime condition for such surgeries.

My hope is that other gals prepare themselves as best as they can before surgery and to realize there are risks involved. And those risks are not always for the "other" person. Sometimes you are that person.

[Maria in heels]

Traci...i hope that your recovery continues and you have no further complications. I just had back surgery, nothing like what you are experiencing, but understand the pain thing as I could not even put on heels for the last two months, let alone walk up or down a flight of stairs or more than 20 steps without taking a break....I'm at what you are currently experiencing with the driving, sitting, standing, walking, and sleeping as well. Hips and shoulders don't fare well if you sleep on your side every night...

i'm here for you if you need something....

[Tracii G]

OH wow I feel so bad that happened to you.
I'm glad you made it thru all of it what a harrowing experience.

[Kirsty_D]

I'm happy to hear it wasn't the doctor and that use him again. I'll have to double down on my diet and exercise regime, I've 7 months to loose as much weight as possible :(

[Tamara Croft]

Bloody hell :hugs: You have a long recovery ahead of you and make sure you eat!! Do they know what caused the scar tissue damage in the first place?

I know about needles in the vagina, my god that hurts like a bitch!! I had mine when I had to have cancer cells removed... stupid doctor stuck the needle in the wrong place... I cringed with you on that one :hugs: I hope you feel better tomorrow and the day after, a bit better than that :) xx

[DeeDee1974]

Wishing you a fast recovery. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Nicole Erin]

Also remember, I am older, thin, small framed, and did nothing physical to prepare my body for this invasive surgery. Meaning I was not exercising, walking, or doing anything to get my body in prime condition for such surgeries.

My hope is that other gals prepare themselves as best as they can before surgery and to realize there are risks involved. And those risks are not always for the "other" person. Sometimes you are that person.

Wow Traci, that is actually really good advice. It might seem obvious but people tend to forget that staying in some kind of good shape always makes physical challenges easier. Especially one of surgery.

With your urinating going all over the place, i hear that tends to settle as you recover. I think Melanie Anne Phillips said something humorous about that on her page.

OK now here - this might make you laugh so if laughing hurts, try not to :)
I don't know if you date men, however, when you mentioned not having the depth you wanted, worry not cause a lot of men out there are not quite as "blessed" as they want to believe. Woman's joke is "why do women have problems with measuring stuff?" "I don't know?" (hold palms facing each other about 4 inches apart and say - ) "cause their whole lives they have been told that this is 12 inches".

So on a serious note - good to have you back with us. Even if your recovery is slow, perhaps now that the surgeries are out of the way, you can concentrate on getting into the best shape you can for many more healthy years of being a woman :)

[melissaK]

Welcome back sweetie! You've been missed.

Your tale scares me. I'm scared of surgeries to begin with though not from experience - I've never been under any general anesthesia. Then you cap it all off with "I'd do it again in a heartbeat!" I'm working on getting my mind around these oxymoronic positions!!

[morgan51]

Traci I'm thankfull you are home and improving I'm sorry you went thru so much and glad you are finally healing. Kind of makes me cringe for what may lie ahead for me. Certainly stresses more exercise for this girl.lol I'm a slug too if I can get away with it. Thankyou for sharing.

[Nigella]

Traci, lets hope that the worst is behind you now and that you do all you can to get better and stronger each day. It was brave of you to post this thread and I cringed when I read it.

It is also a point for those who are to follow to read that not everything goes according to plan.

[Nicki S]

If I had it to do all over again, I would choose my same doctor. He is an excellent surgeon. To me what counts in SRS in the appearance of your entire genitalia. Mine looks beautiful just like any other natal woman's.


My hope is that other gals prepare themselves as best as they can before surgery and to realize there are risks involved. And those risks are not always for the "other" person. Sometimes you are that person.
Welcome back Traci,

Sorry to hear of your difficulties, but it is nice to see that you have a positive outlook.

It is reassuring to see that you are pleased with your choice of surgeons. I am a little over four months away from seeing him for my SRS. Note taken on preparing myself for surgery.

Wishing you a speedy recovery

[ReineD]

Ouch. I cringed when I read your story, but I'm glad you're on the mend and are happy despite all.

It can only go uphill from here. :hugs:

[Persephone]

Hi Traci!

I must admit, I was beginning to worry about not seeing a post from you. So glad you are back online and that you are beginning to mend.

Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[josee]

Wow, that sounds like you went through hell and came out the other side.
Welcome back. Hope you have a speedy recovery now that you are home.

[CharleneT]

Hi Traci, Good to see you posting, welcome back :hugs:


....

When I awoke in the recovery room for the first time still under the numbness of the epidural, my doctor told me there was a problem. I had a lot of scar tissue inside of me (since I have never had surgery before, he said it had to of come from trauma to the area at some point in my life), and my pelvic girdle was small and narrow, as well as having little space between my colon and bladder which all resulted in me having less vaginal depth than I had hope for. So that was not the news I wanted to hear.

The next time I awoke, the epidural had worn off and I was in horrific pain. Pain so severe you would welcome death. I could not stand it and was screaming for help.

You indeed had a very bad time! The worst I personally know of. I think there is a pretty wide variation in how people feel after SRS. I've known others who had as much post operative pain as you. Both from surgeries here and overseas.


I was told that my nose was packed from my feminizing Rhinoplasty which was done first and as a result I could not breathe through my nose. And for some reason, I was not breathing through my mouth. So they had to put tubes down me to force oxygen into my lungs. That being the case, they could NOT give me morphine. Without the morphine, the pain was unbearable. After screaming and clamping down on the nurse's hands so hard and not letting go, she too was in pain, Another nurse tried to tell me they could not give me any pain meds because of my breathing problems. She just kept saying "Relax Traci. Traci Relax."

I did everything but relax to get relief from the pain. I remember the head surgical nurse preparing a shot (not for pain but to knock me out). For the next five days, I would regain consciousness for short periods of time always awakening in severe pain.

Egads! Whatever your breathing prob was, unfortunately it is true that when that happens they have to avoid any CNS depressants ( all narcotics included here ).

Having to re-intubate you meant whatever that breathing problem was, it was serious. I am surprised they did not sedate you for that. Arm chair physician guess is they were worried about cardiac issues.


I went into a deep depression and to a dark place to escape the pain. I refused to eat any of the liquid food they prepared for me. I just gave up. I just could not stand the pain. It was more than I could bare.


I am sooo glad to hear you got out of that dark place though. Eating well post operatively is important for healing ;)



At some point on the sixth day, they sent me to my cottage with tons of medications including pain meds. For the next two weeks, the pain only got worse and the pain meds did very little to help. I stopped eating completely on a daily basis or would just eat a few bits. I lost a lot of weight quickly and became even more fragile. The visiting head nurse gave me an ultimatum – eat or go back to the hospital. I chose the lesser of two evils, I started eating.

That was important and surely helped you get better. Having such a hard time does cause post-op depression ( with any major surgery ). Siri is a brilliant and very dedicated nurse. Good to listen to her ;) I have contacted her with questions since my return. It is great they give you their cell numbers while you are there. Very personal care.



But my pain just kept getting worse. It was with me 24/7 and there was no escape from it. Then on Halloween, I had emergency vaginal surgery.

The reason I was having so much pain was because my body had rejected some of the tissue in and around my new vagina; and that tissue had died. The tissue at the outer base of my vagina had become infected and inflamed. Finally, the stitching in that latter area had become a problem with the infected tissue.

This Halloween emergency surgery was done under local anesthesia. And I am here to tell you that getting “many” shots in and all around your vagina is as close to levitating you off the operating table as you will ever get, and that is an understatement. My God that hurt!
The second vaginal surgery was a success. The dead tissue and the infected tissue were cut out, new tissue was graphed, and I was re-sewn up. The next day, I was still in pain but NOTHING like I was feeling. This new pain was a “blessing and a relief.”

EEekkk! Good that the problem was resolved ! There is normally discomfort and pain after SRS, it gets better but does continue for a while. Part is healing and part is your nerves coming back online.



But Thailand was not done with me yet. Anyone who has ever been to Bangkok knows how horrible the driving is and the traffic. Well, on my way to the airport for my return trip, my driver had a low speed head-on collision with a “bus.” After the collision, he backed up and floored it to get away from the scene of the accident. I have no idea if anyone in the bus was hurt or not. Me – well, my back and neck still hurt.

I found traffic there frightening too !! When going around nearby I always walked. The safest normal transport is cabs or buses. I have a friend that just moved to Thailand (Chang Mai) and he just got his Thai drs lic. Very shortly after that, his first accident... not a safe place to drive! It does seem particularly horrible to have an accident on your way out of town though ! Yikes !


So here I am 34 days post-op still weak and fragile. I am still in pain and talking pain medications. I have limited mobility. Spend 40 minutes three times a day dilating. Wear feminine pads 24/7 and I have to change those several times a day. Have to use those “ice cold” baby wipes every time I pee. Speaking of which, no one ever told me that as a woman with a vagina whenever I pee, it goes everywhere in every direction. No wonder I need baby wipes.

I feel remiss ... I apparently forgot to mention that peeing thing ... yes, you'll be spraying all around for a while. That is normal and resolves itself. Truth is that women (GG and us) have that happen occasionally for their entire lives. I'll PM you with some suggestions. Some amateur suggestions: switch size and brand of those pads, might help with the irritation, avoid any that have fragreance, try washing instead of wipping sometimes for clean up ( just hop up on the sink and wash with a little soap and water, pat dry, do not rub), dilation is a royal pain in the (yoohoo?) ... no way around it - but it is important - keep it up.



I have a lot of restrictions from my doctor - here are SOME of them:
• I have to use a pillow between my legs when I want to sleep on my side until December 2nd
• I cannot cross my legs or feet until January 12th (this is really hard not to do)
• I cannot lift things with any weight until February 12th
• I cannot bend over at the waist until February 12th
• I cannot squat until February 12th
• I cannot drive a car until February 12th
• I cannot take a bath until April 12th
• And the biggies, I cannot masturbate, touch my clitoris, or open either labia until April 12th

You'll find out with time those limits can be flexible. Listen to your body for clues about when you are ready. The bath thing ... the SRS surgeons differ a lot on this one, but I agree with Dr. C that the risks are not worth the gain. I *adore* baths and it was hard to stay away - but I did... As for touching, be careful, but you can. Just don't pull on things or be rough ( hence his instructions to avoid masturbation for a while). You had SRS and a big revision and need to let things heal well so there are no future probs. Patience is going to be a virtue, that is always true with SRS recovery :hugs:



So when you read how easy SRS is, remember me as your dose of reality.


Bottom line – the happiest day of my life was when I was “whole, complete, and congruent.”


I have been asked if I knew what I know now after going to hell and back, would I still have SRS? In a heartbeat! I would have bore any cost to be “whole.” You can’t understand that until you are post-op.

I will post more in the coming days. I will be more than happy to answer anyone's questions either here or in private.

Indeed it is a feeling that is hard, if not impossible, to describe! You'll get better soon Traci, really, give your body time to heal up. Definitely eat well and gain back that weight. That helps with healing ( giving your bod the right fuel as it were ). Again ... sorry to hear of the problems. You are right to remind folks that SRS is no cake walk. All too often user groups tend toward cheer leader-ness too much.

[CharleneT]

Ouch. I cringed when I read your story, but I'm glad you're on the mend and are happy despite all.

It can only go uphill from here. :hugs:


I hope you meant "down hill...." ?? !!!

[Jorja]

Wow, I knew you has some problems but I did not know it was that bad. I am glad you are doing better and continue to improve. Now behave yourself!!! :)

[kimdl93]

Traci, I am so sorry that you had such a rough time. Like everyone, I hope that with each passing day you feel stronger and less pain.

[Babeba]

I think you'll find that with the pain in the area you might not WANT to masturbate for a while... Whew. I'm so glad that the second surgery took better, and I hope that every day you get better.

Some societies do not consider a woman to be a woman until the pain and trial of childbirth... I think that in those societies, they would consider you post op gals to be about ten times the woman I am for all this pain to complete the process!

[Traci Elizabeth]

Thank each and every one of you for your kind words.

Persephone, it was so wonderful seeing the both of you, sitting down to a fine dinner, and enjoying the sightseeing tour of LA from the comfort of your car. I hope that we can meet again in the future.

Charlene, as always your responses are so informative and give additional insights. Thanks for the countless hours you shared with me pre-op to help me through this process. Now, post-op, you are continuing to help. You are a true ambassador for our community of pre-op and post-op members.

It is my sincere hope, that my experience does NOT make any of you second guess SRS for yourself. Trust me on this one when I tell you that being "whole” is worth the risk one might have to bear.

I just want to convey how very important it is to be prepared for SRS physically and mentally. Don't fall into a state of naïveté (like I did) believing that the risks or possible complications could not possibly happen to you. The risks are “real” – remember that. But also know the odds are in your favor that your surgery and recovery will go well.

[Stephanie-L]

Traci, I am happy that you are doing better now, and am sorry that you had such a hard time of it. I too am very surprised that a surgeon would do two such extensive surgeries simultaneously. Having participated in well over 10,000 surgeries, and before that working in a recovery area and dealing with at least as many patients, I question the way things were done in your description (not questioning you, but the way they did things). I realize that there were factors beyond the control of your surgeon, but it does not sound like some of them were handled well. My best advice to you is to get some therapy as you are likely to have a form of PTSD. The physical pain should be getting better, but you will be dealing with the emotional issues for some time. And to all of the girls here contemplating both FFS and SRS, as I am, this is yet more indication of the need to separate the two surgeries, even if only by a few weeks.................Stephanie

[Marleena]

All I can say is wow! It's not supposed to be like this and sounds like a worst case scenario if I ever heard one. Please take it easy during the healing process and best of luck.:)

[Traci Elizabeth]

And to all of the girls here contemplating both FFS and SRS, as I am, this is yet more indication of the need to separate the two surgeries, even if only by a few weeks.................Stephanie


Good point Stephanie. The reason I went with both at the same time was not wanting to undergo anesthesia twice; and not have to go through the pain twice (well we see where that got me).

I do, however, know some gals who went my route SRS & FFS at the same time with the same doctor and everything went well for them. So, I'm not sure a case can be made based on my situation alone. A much larger sample needs to be taken.

[PretzelGirl]

Traci, I am sorry you had to go through this ordeal and I hope all the negative is behind you and the healing brings a clear and painless path.


It is my sincere hope, that my experience does NOT make any of you second guess SRS for yourself. Trust me on this one when I tell you that being "whole” is worth the risk one might have to bear..

I was thinking something similar before I saw this. Surgery is never a sure thing and always has its risks as you obviously know. It made me wonder if someone is on the bubble, if the possibility of this situation could bring pause? I am not there, so I am saying this from looking at it on the non-transitioned side. But if someone did take pause, would that be a sign to back up completely and re-evaluate things again? I did take note that you said you would do it again and that struck a chord on commitment.

[Jana]

Welcome back, Traci! It's good to hear that feeling "whole" outweighs all tribulations you had to endure. I sincerely hope for a speedy recovery.

[Jorja]

I was thinking something similar before I saw this. Surgery is never a sure thing and always has its risks as you obviously know. It made me wonder if someone is on the bubble, if the possibility of this situation could bring pause? I am not there, so I am saying this from looking at it on the non-transitioned side. But if someone did take pause, would that be a sign to back up completely and re-evaluate things again? I did take note that you said you would do it again and that struck a chord on commitment.

I think anyone planning a surgery, whether it is for something minor or a seriously major procedure, needs to understand the risk involved. They need to have a good understanding of the procedure and what can happen from the most minor incident to most extreme situation. Only an informed person can make an informed decision.

What happened to Traci would be classified an extreme case. I would hope anyone considering SRS reads what happened to Traci and learns from it. I would hope that a person considering SRS would take pause and understand it before moving forward. They must understand that SRS is a serious procedure and critical situations do happen.

[ReineD]

I hope you meant "down hill...." ?? !!!

Doesn't going downhill mean getting worse? I meant it can only get better. But, I suppose going uphill signifies a struggle, so I guess I used the wrong euphemism (English is my second language and sometimes I mess up when I use catch phrases). I'll start over. :p

Traci, I'm glad you're on the mend now, and it can only get better from here! :hugs:

[Aprilrain]

Get well soon!......................

[Traci Elizabeth]

Doesn't going downhill mean getting worse? I meant it can only get better. But, I suppose going uphill signifies a struggle, so I guess I used the wrong euphemism (English is my second language and sometimes I mess up when I use catch phrases). I'll start over. :p

Traci, I'm glad you're on the mend now, and it can only get better from here! :hugs:

Smiling~ !

[Melissa A.]

I am so glad that You are improving, and sorry that you had to experience such agonizing pain, fear, and trauma. Thank you for the very sensible advice regarding surgery.

Your attitude about the whole thing is admirable, and only further emphasizes the realness of physical cognitive dissonance. I stand in awe of how you have come through such a nightmare.

You, my dear, are badass.

[Inna]

Sorry babe I haven't posted here as I was away! As I was reading the details, and complications and revisions and needles, I too was tensing my body and cringing my teeth. The hardest to convey through writing is the pain we personally experience as immense and simply the worst in the world making us question why we here anyway.

But as I think of the birth of a new life woman experiences immense joy through that immense pain, seems part of tangibility in life to be surrounded by this immense force, and the price to pay for the beauty of anew.

Looks to me you have paid this price, but I know that now as you grow further in congruity and wholeness, that moment of birth shall become the most beautiful of new life, and the memory of pain will remind of how real that moment was.

All my love to you Traci, whether uphill, downhill or just plain walk in the park :)

[Beth-Lock]

Risk is always there, sadly.

Traci, I feel deeply for you and my heart and mind is with you.

[JohnH]

Traci,

It's is so good that you are back. I was really worried about you. I feel bad about what you went through and all the restrictions you have to live with. I hope you heal quickly. It's always good to hear from you.

Take care,

John

[Jessica Keys]

My goodness what a rough way to start. A lady of steel to hang in there.
But what else do we do but grin and bare it when that happens to us.
You are our hero.
We love you.
Peace

[Tamara Croft]

Doesn't going downhill mean getting worse? I meant it can only get better. But, I suppose going uphill signifies a struggle, so I guess I used the wrong euphemism[

You were right, going downhill does mean getting worse in English and going uphill means getting better :)

[ReineD]

Thanks, Tamara. :)

[kimdl93]

You were right, going downhill does mean getting worse in English and going uphill means getting better :)

Ah, yes but then there's the phrase 'it's all downhill from here' which has a positive connotation, or conversely, 'facing an uphill struggle'. The beauty of English is so many terms and phrases are utterly ambiguous out of context!

[Traci Elizabeth]

Well that settles it. I now don't know if I'm going up or coming down! Thanks Gals!

[Persephone]

Well that settles it. I now don't know if I'm going up or coming down! Thanks Gals!

Just try to avoid the expression, "I'm not feeling myself today." Used to totally confuse a Dutch friend of mine.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Nigella]

Well that settles it. I now don't know if I'm going up or coming down! Thanks Gals!

Next time take the express elevator :lol:

[Lorileah]

Traci, thank you for sharing. You have pointed out that surgery always has the potential to go wrong. If it was easy everyone would do it right? Even the best surgeons have problems, it is how they handle it that counts. I am glad your surgeon was able to correct the issue.

Heal fast and be well.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Traci, thank you for sharing. You have pointed out that surgery always has the potential to go wrong. If it was easy everyone would do it right? Even the best surgeons have problems, it is how they handle it that counts. I am glad your surgeon was able to correct the issue.

Heal fast and be well.


You are very right about that: Even the best surgeons have problems, it is how they handle it that counts.

[ReneeT]

I have been waiting a bit to jump in here, but there is an elephant in the room that has only been alluded to in one or two posts. I am extremely troubled by the fact that this surgeon scheduled ffs and grs in the same setting. Both of these surgeries (multiple surgeries for ffs) are complicated and lengthy in their own right. Scheduling them together, in my professional opinion, is malpractice. The outcome for Traci is largely a result of the decision the surgeon made to schedule as he did. I wont detail the physiologic changes that occur during prolonged surgery, but they are manifold. In the setting where tissue is grafted, as in this case, graft failure (no, your body didn't reject it - it died most likely due to poor oxygen delivery) is to be expected. Compound this by the aftercare you recieved and, well, the rest is history. If you had your surgery in this country your doc would be opening his checkbook and writing you a big malpractice check. Or not, because no accredited hospital would have allowed this to be scheduled.

I don't mean to be t all negative about you, Traci- you trusted your doc. How were you to know? This is the peril of going outside the first world and recieving care from non-JCAHO facilities.

Flame me now, but be prepared to talk "shop" to support your position

[Saffron]

So in the "first world" there's no cases of malpractice? mm..

Traci, I hope you get well soon. Take care.

[Babeba]

So in the "first world" there's no cases of malpractice? mm..

Traci, I hope you get well soon. Take care.

I believe what Renee is saying is that in the standards of care in the US which a hospital has to follow to stay accredited to be a hospital having that many different major operations all at once is not allowed, so this particular situation would not happen.

[ReneeT]

So in the "first world" there's no cases of malpractice? mm..

Traci, I hope you get well soon. Take care.


I certainly didn't say that. But try filing a suit and see how far that goes. First world=first world legal system. Now, I am no cheerleader for the legal profession, but I am even less of a fan of poor surgical judgement


I believe what Renee is saying is that in the standards of care in the US which a hospital has to follow to stay accredited to be a hospital having that many different major operations all at once is not allowed, so this particular situation would not happen.


Presactly........

[Traci Elizabeth]

I have been waiting a bit to jump in here, but there is an elephant in the room that has only been alluded to in one or two posts. I am extremely troubled by the fact that this surgeon scheduled ffs and grs in the same setting. Both of these surgeries (multiple surgeries for ffs) are complicated and lengthy in their own right. Scheduling them together, in my professional opinion, is malpractice. The outcome for Traci is largely a result of the decision the surgeon made to schedule as he did. I wont detail the physiologic changes that occur during prolonged surgery, but they are manifold. In the setting where tissue is grafted, as in this case, graft failure (no, your body didn't reject it - it died most likely due to poor oxygen delivery) is to be expected. Compound this by the aftercare you recieved and, well, the rest is history. If you had your surgery in this country your doc would be opening his checkbook and writing you a big malpractice check. Or not, because no accredited hospital would have allowed this to be scheduled.

I don't mean to be t all negative about you, Traci- you trusted your doc. How were you to know? This is the peril of going outside the first world and recieving care from non-JCAHO facilities.

Flame me now, but be prepared to talk "shop" to support your position


I have no doubt that Renee is professionally knowledgeable as an ex-surgeon herself to makes these statements but I am just thankful to be back home healing and slowly getting stronger with each day.

All of this is "mute" at this point as it relates to me but might be of benefit to gals making their decisions about SRS. But one point I want to make is that there are other doctors who do multiple procedures during the same setting including non-Asian doctors.

[ColleenA]

In the setting where tissue is grafted, as in this case, graft failure (no, your body didn't reject it - it died most likely due to poor oxygen delivery) is to be expected.

Thank you, Renee, for that explanation. It didn't make sense to me that a body could reject its own tissue.


On a separate note, regarding the issue of timing the surgeries, I will say that my BFF had four transition-related surgeries, each about six months apart - FFS (in March 2005), GRS, corrective surgery on her urethra when it started to close over, mostly due to scarring (while not a typical result of GRS, it is far from rare), and finally BA (August 2006). Looking back a few years after, she saw how recovery from that whole sequence pretty much dominated her life for three years - through 2007 - before her life stabilized and she felt she was back to the energy levels she was used to. (Started to say "back to normal" but that was not the desired outcome of transition!)

I can understand the urge to want to get on with your life, but you have to respect your body's needs when recovering from any surgery.

________

Oops. Just realized, Traci, I hadn't yet given you my best wishes for your continuing recovery. I'm pleased to hear the problems were addressed, I hope you are happy with your FFS, and I'm glad you are back in your own home. As Dorothy has attested, there's no place like it.

Colleen

[CharleneT]

Thank you, Renee, for that explanation. It didn't make sense to me that a body could reject its own tissue.

. . .


Actually, your body rejecting its own tissues does occur. There are a wide variety of autoimmune reactions and diseases that human's suffer from. Check out a decent start to a list here:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoimmune_disease

I'm not saying that Traci did or did not have such a reaction, but rather that they do exist.

[CharleneT]

{dear mods, I know, I know, two posts in a row -- but they are very different}

Ok, truth is that like some others I have been trying to avoid posting in this forum. That's a whole 'nuther story ....

I hope to help a little in this thread as it covers some pretty important stuff for those considering SRS overseas OR here. For the record, {buyer beware, whatever} I had GRS and other surgeries done by Dr. Chettawut Aug 31, 2011. All of my surgeries were very successful and I am happy with what happened to me. I have recommended Dr. C to many people, including Traci.

Ok, there is so much to say, but I am going to comment only on things that I believe have been miss-represented. Most of what is in this thread is opinion, and truthfully, I just no longer care about opinion wrst to GRS. Now unless things have changed since I was there - and I doubt it has:

1. Dr. Chettawut does not limit your time in his clinic to 4 nights and 5 days. That is simply the std time in the hospital or clinic for GRS ( here or there ). After my surgeries they were a little concerned about recovery due to an pre-existing condition. I stayed in the clinic for 5 nights and 6 days. They would have kept me longer if the need had been there. In fact, they kept me for the first two days in their recovery room (at his clinic this is part of the main OR room). They held two other surgeries up, to ensure that if they needed to take quick action that I could be in the OR in about 15 seconds. Dr. Chettawut will not move to the next surgery until he is satisfied that the current patient is fine.

2. The after care is quite good, and the nurses are not some hired in service. They are all employed by him and the main nurse for your case is one of those who was involved in your surgery. That nurse ( in my case, Sri ), stays with you and your case until you leave the country. I saw her every day I was in Thailand. Yes, you do go to a hotel, which is true of all of the Thai docs and all of the US docs ( Dr. Brassard, to his credit, has his own recovery and step down facility ). I never had to wonder when my nurses would show up at all. Each day they told me when they would arrive the next day, in my case I was normally 11am. The time did vary some, but that was do to the needs of the various patients that they were visiting and the best order of visits. Their visits were normally about an hour long. IF they were going to be late, they would call and tell you that - usually hours before the appointed hour of their arrival. The only time they were ever late ( by about an 1.5 hours) was when they got stuck in the famous Bangkok traffic. BUT they called me about that too.

I cannot say what Traci's experience was, but I never had any trouble with the going and coming of those nurses. As well, both of mine (Sri and Nuch) gave me their cell numbers and I was able to call any time of any day. This included the middle of the night. I did have to call once around 11pm, and got an immediate response. In fact, that call resulted in Dr. C calling me a couple of minutes later. He is available to you, by phone, or in person, 24 hours a day. No kidding on this one folks.

3. I cannot say for sure why he now does most (not all) of his work at the clinic. I was told because that way he can control the after care personally. I have no reason to believe otherwise. The hospitals in Bangkok are GREAT! I have several friends here who've gone over there for surgeries that had nothing to do with GID. They are all musicians, hand surgery is another specialty of Thailand. My point with this is that the hospitals are great, but they are not the only way to do medicine there ( or here, Dr. Brassard also uses his own clinic for surgeries).

4. At no time, in no way did I ever feel "left alone", "left behind" etc. In fact, I felt that I had the best care I have experienced. I have several friends here ( some now gone from the boards) who went to the TOP USA docs for their GRS and had virtually no contact with said famous MD's after their surgeries. They were released to go off and care for themselves without any visits from anyone involved in their surgeries. Sure they could call or go back in ( once they made an appt), but in terms of after care they were left basically alone. Honest injun, part of the reason that I went to Thailand is their after care - not because it was "cheap". I could have afforded care here. There is one rather well known former member here who I took care of for a week after her surgery from Dr. Bowers. The good Dr. B's office did not even return panic calls until the next day OR so.... Again, no kidding here. Practically speaking, the after care from all major Thai docs is better than virtually all here.

5. I do not want to get into a pissing contest about docs. I am posting only because I do not like seeing truly bad info getting out there... I"m not here to advertise my doc, or even defend him. Truth is that the waiting list will tell you the facts folks. IF there were a lot of problem cases, it would get out and any particular doc's biz would fall off. While I was there, I met many patients of my doc (Dr. C), and some from other docs. Everyone was happy. A few of us had a few small post-op problems, all taken care of quickly and well -- by all the various care givers. I would also like to say that I do not think that multiple surgeries are a very good idea. I had exactly that though and it worked out for me. Every patient I met there - except one - had more surgeries than I did ( I had 4: Rhino, trach, A.M, and SRS). All 7 patients had more. One very nice woman from FL had only SRS. The rest were all there for a bunch of work, usually major FFS, A.M and SRS. The rest all had fairly extensive FFS and GRS. In the case of those patients of Dr. Chettawut, all of them had the major FFS procedures done separately from their SRS.

6. I believe that even with some of the strong words already and sure to happen flames from my post; that this discussion is very important. The big point you should walk away with is not whether Dr. Chettawut is bad or Dr. Saran is good or that Dr. Supporn gets everyone 7" of depth... the important thing here is that all of these surgeries carry risks that most people either ignore or don't think about before they arrive at Dr. {fill in the blank}'s office. OFTEN in discussions of all of transition issues, folks talk about how all of this (HRT, surgeries, transition, RLE etc etc) is going perfect for them. That is just not true. Do you know of any other group that has lots of surgery where everything works out perfectly all the time ???

6. Do your research, learn everything you can before any of these surgeries, BE ready, BE healthy -- and hope that you are also lucky. Fact is some of our stories are not going to go well. That is a fact of life that is completely separate from whom you choose for major surgery.



Addemdum: Just for the record, it seems that most surgeons ( of any kind ) bash each other - a lot. I have no clue what Dr. C thinks of the others because the only subject we discussed was my case - that is all I cared about and all you should care about. The patients of FFS surgeons here have told countless stories of all the bad things that the various surgeons here tell about each other. Read the Yahoo groups for FFS and you'll hear a lot more of this sort of thing. Some call each other total hacks who are practicing malpractice every day... Honestly, I am suspicious of docs that bash each other. They are wasting my time with that stuff. I know of SRS docs here in the US who do the same... sad that.

Charlene

[Traci Elizabeth]

Charlene,

Thank you so much for your current post. I just did not have the desire to comment on the prior post before yours as that post is very lacking and does NOT speak for me. I have spoken many times in my thread about me and my experience. No one else can speak on my behalf or second guess what I went through.

I started this thread simply to inform other sisters who will follow me that there are risks involved with SRS and for those girls not to put their head in the sand to those "adverse risks" as I did. As I have said, I like most assumed "my" surgery would be "perfect with no complications."

Nevertheless, here I am sitting home with a beautiful looking vagina that "works" in the sensation/orgasmic department unbelievably. Does that make me happy? Need I answer? It's 10,000 times more pleasurable than any "climax" I ever felt.

I have already said it (and not for any hidden motive as has been suggested), I love the results of my SRS and would do it over again in a heartbeat with the SAME doctor. Also as a point of concurrence with Charlene, my nurses Sri included were outstanding. Want to ask me how many pictures I have of Sri and myself hugging, laughing, and goofing off - a testament to her outstanding nursing care. Not to mention the pictures I had taken of Dr. C. and myself.

I'll be honest, I really hate what some gals have turned my thread into. It is so far from why I opened up about my personal experience to begin with. I WAS NOT BASHING MY DOCTOR OR MY NURSES. I really like them and entrusted my life in their hands; and guess what - they got me through the complications and in the end, the results are nothing short of magnificent.

So on that note, I don't see myself responding to my tread anymore as it has gone so far astray that I wish I could delete the entire thread. I guess this is what happens when you try to genuinely help others by sharing your own personal experience. Some members feel they have a mandate to bash and personally attack or call to question my motives.

[stefan37]

First off I am glad you are recovering and getting healthy. I am sorry you had to go through what you did and I feel your pain. I had a very difficult surgery many years ago and although I did not experience the complications you had I know it is physically and mentally exhausting. I want to show my sincere appreciation that you shared your experience to point out to others that may be considering major surgeries themselves, how important it is to be healthy, be in good physical condition and be prepared for outcomes that may be less than ideal. God speed and get well quickly

[Babeba]

Alright, enough is enough. Traci is an adult and made the best decision she could for herself at the time she booked her surgeries. She shared her experiences so others could read and take what they would, not to criticize her or slam her surgeons.

If you would like to wish her a speedy recovery and the best of wishes, you may PM her. This thread is now closed.

[Babeba]

After some discussion with Traci and one or two other members, I have decided to reopen the thread.

I have already deleted a post which had too many personal details shared about another member, so please be aware that is against the terms of service and will be deleted.

I really think this is an important topic to discuss, and I would rather not have to close the thread again. Hopefully this day off will help cool down some tempers.

[AudreyTN]

Traci, sorry about your rough experience, but just know everything you have endured serves to make you stronger in many many ways.

I am curious, what doctor did you go to? I don't ask so I can avoid him/her, I actually think this person did an impressive job considering the circumstances, as no one could ever possibly predict someone's body rejecting tissue or organs.

best of luck in your healing, I'm all too envious right now. I want my surgery darn it lol.

[Kathryn Martin]

The reason I was having so much pain was because my body had rejected some of the tissue in and around my new vagina; and that tissue had died. The tissue at the outer base of my vagina had become infected and inflamed. Finally, the stitching in that latter area had become a problem with the infected tissue.

I can tell you from my own experience, that I also had tissue died of in what we called the V area at the bottom of the vagina. Because we had to do sitzbath twice daily from the moment forward that the packing was removed the tissue did not become necrotic and inflammed and there were no issues. The tissue had died because as Renee says part of it was not properly circulated during the packing period because of the substantial pressure exerted (we had the packing stitched in place). I asked about this several times because I discovered it and was concerned. I was told to ensure both cleanliness (i.e. sitzbath with and hospital grade antibacterial soap) and to air dry for 15 minutes, or as the Quebecois say h'air dry every time after the area got wet or moist. The tissue eventually simply fell of with wiping.

You need to take things slow if you had an infection. I was fortunate, but many end up having an infection of some sort. Doing things totally by the book is the best defense.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Doing things totally by the book is the best defense.

Thank you for your insight. Trust me on this one, I am following my doctor's instructions to the letter of the law making sure to cross every "t" and dot every "i." I was given detailed written instructions as well as oral instructions a couple of times repeating what was written. I do not want any more vaginal issues that's for sure. But the good news is that things are healing great and everything looks good and looks healthy.

Of course there is the regiment of multiple dilation's a day that must be strictly adhered too. That activity takes commitment to stay on the daily schedule as well as the increased times and daily frequency increases that occur as the weeks pass. I actually thought I would enjoy dilating - WRONG! Quite honestly, it's a pain the the ass but it must be done if you want to maintain your original vaginal depth. Also the risk of stopping could result in total collapse of your vagina. This rigorous dilating schedule must be kept up for at least one year post-op; and is highly recommended to be maintained for the rest of your life.

So once again there is much more to having SRS than meets the eye. But I will say it over and over again...it's worth everything and anything to be "whole."

[Barbara Ella]

Traci, thank you so much for sharing your experience, which while has not been easy, I know is going to be immensely satisfying for you. Stay in good spirits and heal well.

Barbara

[CharleneT]

Of course there is the regiment of multiple dilation's a day that must be strictly adhered too. That activity takes commitment to stay on the daily schedule as well as the increased times and daily frequency increases that occur as the weeks pass. I actually thought I would enjoy dilating - WRONG! Quite honestly, it's a pain the the ass but it must be done if you want to maintain your original vaginal depth. Also the risk of stopping could result in total collapse of your vagina. This rigorous dilating schedule must be kept up for at least one year post-op; and is highly recommended to be maintained for the rest of your life.

So once again there is much more to having SRS than meets the eye. But I will say it over and over again...it's worth everything and anything to be "whole."


Hey Traci, Indeed - especially at first - sticking to the instructions is a very good idea. One thing to keep in mind, if you miss a dilation, no worries. The sky will not fall, regardless of Dr. C's warnings. The next one might be a little harder, don't push it, things will come back after a day or two. Remember, listen to your body, mother nature knows best. There will be times when you just need to not, it won't ruin the whole thing! Like if you get a little irritated on a side ( it happens ), then you might want to skip one, just to let things settle a bit. Usually irritation means not quite as much KY as needed. At first you'll use a lot, later you will be able to get by with a lot less.

OH, practical matter: both Target and Walmart sell generic KY ... Target is more like the Thai KY and way way cheaper than the name brand. Walmart's is thicker and about the same price as Target. Either are ok to use ( Target should be like $1.92 tube, I think WallyWorld is $1.96 ). The no bath thing is good advice, I think, stick to it. In terms of scaring, now is the time to use the silicon preps. They are way expensive but definitely can help. This is true for scars anywhere on your body. Ask any plastic surgeon, but they do the most good in the first 2-3 months of scar healing. They are better than the Mederma that Dr. Chettawut recommends. Mederma here, curiously, is cheaper than in Thailand and better.... rare for that to happen. If you are going to try and use Premarin cream too, the Estradiol cream available is fine ( I asked Dr. C ). If you do not have good insurance coverage for that, please write me before buying. It is pricey stuff.

Call me anytime if you need someone to just listen to you bitch about recovery. At first it is practically a full time job. It does get better with time :hugs:

Welcome to the wide world of SRS recovery !! It is a pain in the you-hoo at first !!

[ColleenA]

Don't say it.




Don't say it.




Don't say it.





Where the heck are Stacy B and Karren? They are so known for their smart aleck comments.





Biting lip.










I actually thought I would enjoy dilating - WRONG! Quite honestly, it's a pain the the ass ...

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh. Can't hold it back any more.




Traci, you're doing it wrong.





(Oh, well. That's it. I'm getting banned for that one.)

[Deborah_UK]

Biting lip.




Originally Posted by Traci Elizabeth

I actually thought I would enjoy dilating - WRONG! Quite honestly, it's a pain the the ass ...









Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh. Can't hold it back any more.




Traci, you're doing it wrong.




:lol2: :lol::lol2:

:bonk::bonk::bonk:

[jackielou]

welcome home traci glad you are back safe and sound hope you continue to improve and i know your wife and family will take good care of you by all means follow doctor instructions you went through too much to risk loosing any part of your new self happy thanksgiving and may god bless you and speed your full recovery it want be long before you are back on the farm shooting a brick a day of 22's for fun.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Traci what a hard time you have and hope everything works out for the better.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Traci what a hard time you have and hope everything works out for the better.


Thank-you! My recovery is actually going very well now. I am so much stronger, things down-under look and feel great. Most of my swelling on my face is gone. What swelling is left is around my nose and I still have some B&B under my eyes.

If anything, I have to be careful of not doing too much too soon. As my dear friend the late James Brown said, "I FEEL GOOD!"

[ChelseaErtel]

Excellent Traci. I am very happy for you. Wonderful news.

[Jorja]

Thank-you! My recovery is actually going very well now. I am so much stronger, things down-under look and feel great. Most of my swelling on my face is gone. What swelling is left is around my nose and I still have some B&B under my eyes.

If anything, I have to be careful of not doing too much too soon. As my dear friend the late James Brown said, "I FEEL GOOD!"

This was my biggest problem, doing too much. A girl gets bored sitting around dilating all day. ;)

[Traci Elizabeth]

A girl gets bored sitting around dilating all day. ;)



OMG! I could not have said it better! One hand on the dilator maintaining constant pressure while the other hand holding the timer with my eyes buldging out watching the minutes go by like hours! :brolleyes:

[kimdl93]

congratulatons on your continued recovery. It seems after major surgery - or injury for that matter - the temptation is always to do too much too soon. Be careful and watch (and feel) the improvements come day by day!