The great purge :(

[erika_kerrie]

Hello Ladies,

I was just thinking how horrible the whole idea of purging is, if some don't know what purging means, it's basically getting rid of all your girlie stuff. Anyways I had a complete purge years ago, and I even stopped dressing for many years, but now that I am getting back into it, I can't believe how much stuff I did get rid of and how I miss them now. I had two large size suitcases full of stuff (and that was just my shoes, just kidding :) I had some great wigs, breast forms, many great outfits, etc. I was able to give some stuff to another tgirl, which I was happy to know they wouldn't be going to waste, but it's still very sad to look back and think of my purge. I also deleted all my photos and my website back then.

Anyways I don't want to sound like a downer, things are good, and rebuilding everything is fun, but I was wondering about some of you ladies, and your experiences or thoughts on purging?

Cheers,
Erika

[kimdl93]

Nothing so severe. I had one long hiatus from dressing lasting several years, but at the time I was only underdressing so I didn't have much to lose. Glad you've rebounded from whatever was going on in you or life at the time of the great purge!

[Beverley Sims]

My father purged for me when I was 16.
My wife purged for me about fifteen years ago.
I lost a lot of quite nice irreplaceable stuff.
The saddest loss was a skin tight full length black dress with shoestring straps and a tulle fringe around the bottom.
A great costume dress that fitted like a glove.
All I can say to any one
WARNING! WARNING!
DON'T PURGE YOUR CLOTHING!

[Jorja]

Purging is great! As long as your purging your male attire. ;)

[Melissa73]

i agree, do not purge! ive purged many times.....1) when i went off to college in 92. 2)when i moved in w/ my g/f in 2000, 3) in 2002 when i got another g/f 4) and just recently in 2011 when the 1st g/f and i got back together and married. Course now she knows.. and i dress all the time.....no more purging for me

melissa73

[Lynn Marie]

I purged a couple of times while still married. The thing is that actually I had so little, that when I got serious about dressing everything was a vast improvement over my poor, pathetic, en femme wardrobe of old. I don't miss any of that stuff at all. Now I laugh about it!

[Foxglove]

Purging is great! As long as your purging your male attire. ;)

Ditto. That's what I'm currently considering doing. Hate the stuff. Never want to wear it again. The last few times I got into it I found it humiliating.

[Kaz]

I guess most of us have been there. There are things I really miss, but I haven't purged now for a long time and won't ever again. There is something good about 'being reborn' but the reality is it is a big waste of money!

I have recently thrown some stuff out... but that wasn't purging... it was just a case of... I don't want this anymore! xx

[vplshowoff]

I'd recommend that you pack all your stuff up and put it in your deepest closet or attic or basement. You will be back and you'll miss the good stuff that you had.

[RenneB]

Same here, purged and rebuilt a few times.... Now a days, my purging is for weight loss and regular ol "I'm never going to wear that" type of purges.... The "closet" now fills four suit cases, and 10 bins.... Should have a real place to hang up the clothes properly soon....

Renne.....

[crissie cd]

not much time to dress, late 80's got rid of some clothes mid 90's got back into it and throw everything away. In 2011 decided to get back, keeping undergarments and shapers hopefully buy more things no purging.

[Michelle (Oz)]

I stopped dressing mid 2008 after my second wife left me for a real man. Shocked me into realising the impact of dressing on relationships. At the time I stored all my stuff rather than purged.

Moving forward to June 2012 the urge to dress again came back stronger than ever but I knew that my third wife would not be accepting. So I took most of my clothes to the charity recycling bins. Thankfully I didn't take my expensive body shaping things and some favourite clothes. Not long after the urge to dress became too strong to the point where my wardrobe is now bigger than it was.

I won't purge again ... or at least that's what I have decided now. There are time though ....

Michelle

[reb.femme]

Purge? Purge? Perish the thought.

I've been an under dresser for years, got one job in IT whilst wearing a lovely pair of burgundy knickers that my wife owned :o. Just been adding madly to my wardrobe today, two loose-fitting, top-fastening cardigans, couple of rolls neck tops to go under them and some casual kit for lounging around in.

Pink fog? Oh yes, and loving every minute! :battingeyelashes:

Rebecca

[Donna June]

I did it (purged) two times in the past. I have a really big wardrobe and both times caught myself before it was all gone, but did lose some nice stuff. I would've felt a bit better if I gave it to charity rather then just throw it out. I also got rid of a lot of photos, digital and prints that I can never get back.

[ArleneRaquel]

IMO purging has caused many of us heart ache. By purging we have thown away a part of us. In my case a fantastic part of my life. :sad:

[sometimes_miss]

<snip> your experiences or thoughts on purging
Been there, done that, never again. Total waste of time and money, not to mention my sanity.Once after a purge I was snowed in, nowhere to go, everything was closed because of the storm, cable was out. I was going out of my mind, wanting to dress, nothing available, not even a pair of panties, I had trashed everything. wound up getting very drunk instead to stop the feeling like I was trying to crawl out of my own skin. Won't make that mistake again; I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a crossdresser. .

[lingerieLiz]

Purging because you want to quit is not going to work.

On the other hand!!! My daughters and several of their friends are big time purgers. If they havent worn it in the last 6 months out it goes. I sometimes get the assignment to take it to the donation center. Yes, I've found a piece or two that made it to my closet.

[MeganHenry]

IMO purging has caused many of us heart ache. By purging we have thown away a part of us. In my case a fantastic part of my life. :sad:

Amen to throwing a part of you away...great insight!

[MeganHenry]

Purging...ugh.
I had to several times when I was young living at home. My mom was so funny about it. She would say "I'll try and not keep anything around for you to be tempted by" LOL. Having 1 conversation with my dad awkward! When I lived with my grand patents my grand father made me purge, horrible experince. I think he even wrote about it in his journal, ugh. It was funny my grand mother didn't care she would even was and fold my panties. I'd come home and they be waiting to be put away. My grand father however not so accepting. Once on my own buy and purge cycle several times. Once on my own, another time when a girl I was dating asked me to, another time on my own before I moved, another time before married the first time, another time while married, another time before we moved again and once we divorced I didn't purge for a long time. The last time I purged was 1999 I think. After that I realized what a waste of money it was and that it never helped. I had SO many pretty things over the years.

Anyway the only thing worth purging in life is negative thoughts, actions or things that drag a person down. After that...it's not worth it. :)

[AnitaH]

Been there, done that and won't ever make that mistake again. I need pretty things in my life. I'll admit I'm a bit cheep I would cry to think of all that time and money going to waste. It's the only frugal thing to do to keep them all.

AnitaH

AnitaH

[Cynthia Anne]

My worse purge was by my ex wife a few years ago! Just another reason she's my ex!

[NathalieX66]

My last purge was in 2000.....then in 2009, I became a girl, and I liked it.

All true.

Now, I have a guys wardrobe and a girls wardrobe, the latter being bigger.

The denial is over. I am a guy. I am a girl. ........I am happy.

[Cheryl T]

Should, coulda, woulda....
So many things I tossed that I would love to have now (and fit into ...LOL)....gave all that up 8 years ago and now I have a wardrobe I never dreamed I would have. My biggest regret now is that I don't have the time to wear everything I have...

[Erica Marie]

Purging is a sad thing. When you decide to do it, it is usually out of frustration or because of nerves. It is worse down the road when the feeling comes back and you look in your closet or in your favorite stash and realize its all gone. So many nice outfits. The things that took so long to find, all the outfits that fit just right. If you get the urge to purge my suggestion is find a spot in the attic or someplace, box it up and let it rest. That way when you need it again it will be ready and waiting for you. Like one other member said if you want to purge then get rid of the guy cloths.

[audrey-lynn43]

Yes I think everyone here has purged at least once. Myself probably 3 or 4 times. So items I really liked and never could find the same replacement. So if the URGE TO PURGE feeling attacks you get some boxes and put it away don't dispose of it for real.

[~Joanne~]

I have probably purged at least 3 times. Due to social pressures and society itself, We tend to think that tossing everything out will be the end of all of this but is farther from the truth. For me, it always came back and a little bit more intense each time.

To be honest, I can't remember most of the things that went but my wardrobe wasn't that big, or great, to begin with. I wish I still had a couple of pairs of heels I tossed out but all of it has been replaced. I have a mini dress and a pair of boots though that has made it through the last purge and I am happy I still have them :)

If the urge comes around again, which I highly doubt as I have a better understanding of this and am more comfortable in my own skin, I will certainly put everything in a box in the basement long before running to a trash bin.

[Debbie Kay Armour]

I have purged so much in the past, but know have finally come to terms with being TS, and am getting help and hope to move forward. I have seen my Doctor, told him, have seen a shrink, told him, he has referred me, "how good does that feel". I am now waiting to go to the next stage. I am checking E-mails, the post, but nothing yet. I have felt this way for over 40 years, so a few months waiting is nothing.

[erickka]

I needed to take an extended hiatus from my dressing, but absolutely NO purging. I put everything away in containers and placed them in the attic in my shop. That way it will all be waiting and ready for my return!

[Debbie Kay Armour]

Yes purging all or most of my male stuff is great, so liberating and the way forward

[Jillian Faith]

Should, coulda, woulda....
So many things I tossed that I would love to have now (and fit into ...LOL)....gave all that up 8 years ago and now I have a wardrobe I never dreamed I would have. My biggest regret now is that I don't have the time to wear everything I have...

Cheryl my story is eerily similar I purged completely in 1997 while going thru a divorce and didn't dress again until 2003. I do wish I had one or two pieces of the jewelry and wigs I purged but the clothes would be out of style. Now my feminine wardrobe is larger and prettier than I could have ever imagined I just wish I had more time to wear it all.

[TonyaV]

I have purged several times. About three were large bulks of at least 2 suitcases each time. The things I miss most are the shoes. I find it fairly easy r3eplacing dresses, skirts, etc. I am size 7-8. But you don't always find pretty heals or boots in 11-12.

The last time, I was smart. I shipped them to a dear friend who is storing them for me. In return, she gets to wear them in the mean time.

[Tina B.]

Once, just once, when my first wife left me, I felt guilty about my dressing, and was moving back in with my family, I threw it all away, didn't dress again for years.
I replaced dressing with drinking, and mild drug use, but as the years went by, and I became more and more bothered by not dressing, I came back to it, went out and tried to replace a favorite pair of heels I had thrown away, and found out you could no longer buy that Hyde in this country! That was a major bummer. there was many other things I missed, but not as much as that pair of shoes, they made me feel good. Never though of doing it again.

[tommi]

I would lie to setup a purge storage for us send it to me and
Storage because I always go back
I had an wonderbra in my size 40 a and they quit making it
My wife actually bought it for me and she threw it out aswell

[Soriya]

I have purged every time after each phase but none were ever large as I didn't have a lot. Only simple things since I raided my girlfriends when she wasn't home. Those purges were all out of fear and shame of myself and I stopped for 15 years. I got back into it 3 years ago to explore it and find out what it meant. I accumulated quite a bit of stuff but no closets full of stuff, just a couple boxes. I basically stopped 3 years ago except for the occasional session out of boredom but it got boring. I purged it all a few months ago when I moved and have nothing now.

But now since I have been aligning myself with everything else in my life outside of CD'ing the feelings are returning. Even still, I have ZERO regret I threw everything out. Because I am in a great spot overall now, the feelings do dress again are much different. Since I was born an artist it's evolving into a form of artistic expression for me. Purging what I had was like closing that chapter in Soriya's history.

This is really cool actually because even though I want to CD again, I have total patience now. I have been exercising again, losing weight, doing all the right things for my health and since I know I am going to loose at least 20 more pounds on my fitness plan, I won't buy any clothing. It's no longer an 'Urge', it's a desire so no more buying things to satisfy an urge.

It will be at least another 4 to 6 weeks before I buy clothes so in the meantime, I am having so much fun just researching everything from makeup tips, clothing styles that work for my body shape, ways to conceal eyebrows, all stuff I never did before. No more ****ty stuff either (ok, down the road maybe LOL). I am more interested in everyday contemporary styles.

Soriya is growing up. :)

[Wanna be Heather]

Once you try CDing, it will be with you the rest of your life . I just threw away my lingere two days ago just to have the urges to buy new ones coming back fast ang strong . this cycle always keep happeining to me since my teenage years . I guess it is a continuouse battle between our natural urges and social pressure.

[Moxie]

I find it fascinating that many of you can purge and stop dressing for years. MANY years!

So, why go back? Sure, there's this "urge" you all speak of, but that's part of being human. We are surrounded by temptation and urges. As adults, we learn to ignore most of them.

So if you can stop for years, why not just stop forever??

[CynthiaD]

So if you can stop for years, why not just stop forever??

Because the world without dressing is a cold dark place, and I don't want to live there.

[Foxglove]

I find it fascinating that many of you can purge and stop dressing for years. MANY years!

So, why go back? Sure, there's this "urge" you all speak of, but that's part of being human. We are surrounded by temptation and urges. As adults, we learn to ignore most of them.

So if you can stop for years, why not just stop forever??

Because at the end of the day, we're trans. Why don't you stop being female? There's no more reason for us to stop trying to be trans--except that lots of us grew up with the idea that it's shameful, dirty, etc. That idea gets planted deeply within us, so we try to stop.

Eventually, however, we cop on: it isn't shameful or dirty, any more than being male or female is. It's just the way we're made. So why not be ourselves?

DM, the last few weeks I've been living totally as myself. You cannot imagine the joy I've been feeling. I'm me! That's something cispeople enjoy all the time probably without even thinking about it. When was the last time you ever got a deep feeling of happiness inside you when you realized, "I'm me!" It's a great discovery for transpeople--what it means to be yourself, to be able to get out in the world, take care of your business, live your life as yourself. Once you come to truly accept yourself, why stop? It's trying to stop that makes you so unhappy.

Best wishes, Annabelle