Oops....What are the odds

[Kelley]

Went out this morning in drab looking for a nice winter skirt and sweater. I arrived at my favorite store (Avenue) and what do I see, this location is closing, bummer #1. Found a great skirt, not my size, bummer #2. Went to Pay Less came up empty there too, bummer #3. As I left Pay Less I saw a nail spa and decided a mani-pedi is just what I need. Went had the deluxe it was so wonderful. I was sitting at the drying letting the color on my toes dry and there a lady looking at me. She had her head down like she was looking at her iPhone but her eyes were on me. She had a real silly smile so I thought she was just a nut. Then she began to look familiar couldn't put my finger on it. After i left it dawned on me, she works in my office, bummer #4.

What are the odds of that? We work in an office of around 120 - 150 people and they all live scattered over the greater metro Atlanta area. Nail spas are about 3.5 per square mile.

I doubt she will say anything, hope she knows what goes on in the spa stays in the spa. Anyway not too worried it's just painted nails at least I wasn't en femme!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

With odds like that I would suggest you play lotto tonight, in girl mode, just to increase the odds!!

[kimdl93]

Well, isn't that the way it goes? It might be a good idea to have a friendly conversation - if you see her at work, say, "You know I thought that was you, at the nail salon, but I wasn't sure. " Then apologize for not recognizing her right off. At that point, you leave the door open for her to ask the obvious question. If she does, just say "there's nothing more fun than a mani/pedi, is there". If she doesn't just leave it at that.

[Jeannie]

A lot of people here always tell to forget about and go out dressed. Well I am still in the closet with everyone but my wife and I am not passable to boot, but your experience at the spa is exactly why I don't go out dressed, As sure as I do I will run into to someone that knows me and it will be all over the place.

[MeganHenry]

Right!!! Play lotto, win and then change things up. Hopefully thing will be looking up for you Kelley!

[Cynthia Anne]

As they say SHE-IT happens! Good luck at work!

[Beverley Sims]

The best place to start a conversation was at the salon.
You could have nipped it in the bud then and there. :)

[suzanne]

The nail salon I go to has a big sign painted on the front window that says, among other things, "For ladies and Gentlemen". I take them at their word and always go for my mani/pedis in drab, I am almost always the only male customer in the place. No matter. I have, on occasion, seen other men there, but they don't seem as comfortable being there as I do. Too bad,. because as one woman put it to me once, "Men have nails, too." And we usually tip better, too! I once got a manicure while sitting beside a woman who is the mother of a girl I once coached in softball, in fact, she was the team manager for several years. My initial reaction was "OMG OMG OMG!" but we carried on a great conversation about the good old softball days while she got her fill done and I got my fingernails done in OPI's "It's a girl". The lesson: Stay cool and act confidently as if you belong there, BECAUSE YOU DO!

[Fashionista]

why I don't go out dressed... [...] sure as I do I will run into to someone that knows me and it will be all over the place.

In an office with 120-150 people, you can bet that this will be THE news to be chatted about - at least for those that are friends of the lady at the nail spa. Looking at her iPhone? Perhaps - she might also have taken a picture of you.

I can only agree with Jeannie. No matter what you do, whether it's shopping for a skirt, getting a mani/pedi or going out in drag - it can always happen that you encounter people you know from work, you are friends with, etc. And that's fine as long as you either have a good explanation at hand or simply state the truth.
When I was still going out in drag, most people at work knew about this. They even went out with me. The last time I went out in drag is 7 years back. Some family related things have happened so I no longer go out in drag. Nowadays, I still "crossdress", but I mix male and female items, and I have stopped putting on makeup, painting my nails, attaching breast forms or putting on a wig.

You can see me in knee-high boots (no heel), a skirt, a simple turtleneck sweater and a women's down jacket going shopping, or talking a walk at the river, feeding some ducks. I've run into people I know, and I stand by what I do. My explanation is quite simple: I like those items that I wear, and want to have the same rights in dressing as women do. When I am discussing this, I am not defending myself or become weak, I am standing up for what women have stood up for a hundred years ago (200 years ago, women were not allowed to wear pants). Some argue against this, some make deprecatory remarks, some just shrug their shoulders, some say that this is cool, others that they would like to try themselves but don't have the guts to do so.

You seem to be in a position of weakness. Going to the spa is something that you liked, but you don't like your secret to be shared at work. Now that the beans have been spilled, I would rather try and ask myself how you want to deal with the situation if someone at work asks you point blank about it.

[Kelley]

Thanks for all the comments. I really don't know the lady, I see her in the deli sometimes and a few times passing in the hall. I don't know her name and not sure if she knows mine. Our work social group don't really cross paths too often I'm in engineering she's in accounting as Kim said I plan to look her up when I get back in the office and say hi I will bring up the painted toes. I will tell her that my wife likes it so do I and no one else sees it. I will also tell her to say hi next time she see me in the salon.

A lot on men get mani-peties nowadays and if it was anything other than pained toes I would be very upset. Just going to laugh it off. I have told several people I go to the nail salon just not about the toes.

[linda allen]

I have been going to the nail salon with my wife for several months now. Sometimes for a pedicure, sometimes for both. Sometimes I get clear polish, sometimes none. I've seen men in the salon besides me. Not "gay" looking men (OK, bring it on), just ordinary looking men.

Now if you were getting colored polish or designs, you might have something to worry about. Not if you were just getting your nails cut or clear polish.

The only thing I find uncomfortable about the nail salon we go to is that everyone working there is Asian (no problem with that) and they are difficult for me to understand and they often talk among each other in front of me in their native language. It's that last part that makes me most uncomfortable.

[Tina B.]

I have found it's not even safe to go to the next town over, without running into people I know, it's just a chance you have to take sometimes.

[sometimes_miss]

What are the odds.....well, I wonder if women like to gossip. Uh, the answer would be yes. So you're probably toast. The smile was either because she was confirming previous rumors about you, or the discovery of something she can have fun with. Either way, you're secret's out. Even if they don't suspect you're a crossdresser, they will automatically figure that you absolutely must be gay. Which, if you are, is just fine as long as you want to be 'out'. The colored polish on your toes was the nail in your coffin. Sorry, you're probably from now on going to be referred to (at least from out of your listening range) as the gay guy in the /whatever/ department. You can have kids, played pro football, won the medal of honor. None of that matters anymore. Your tag has been defined there forever.