mam, sir, mam?

[angpai30]

Lol, after 4 mos of working as a woman I got my first sir. I wanted to slap the guy silly. Say what? No my arm has this nervous twitch sometimes that I can't control. Eh, but I didn't have any makeup p on and I did the nono and slept in my makeup and it all rubbed off in the 3 hours f sleep I did get die to working late and having to b Anne so I e back to work early and even them I asked people if I looked like a dude and they said absolutely not. Hmmm... Maybe my voice?

Angela

[Traci Elizabeth]

Voice can be a major giveaway...remember that "Froggy!" (lol)

[Nicole Erin]

It happens from time to time. It is annoying yes. I guess probably looking rough from the night before didn't help.

But yeah "sir" is annoying cause it is like "OK we don't "pass" as good as we thought" but the real annoyance is this -
If someone can clearly see you are presenting as a woman and still call you "sir" then what the hell is their problem?

Don't worry too much though cause when you get your voice trained it will happen less. Plus those who do notice we are TS and either call us "sir" or make some rude comment are usually the lower class scum anyways. Like the type of people you would not want around your sister or a good female friend.

[JohnH]

I have resolved to not change the pitch of my deep bass voice. Nevertheless, even if I am in drab sometimes I still get ma'amed even after I talk! I really don't care if I don't pass as a genetic female.

John

[sandra-leigh]

I almost always get Sir'd. Including when I am wearing a dress and makeup (and long hair and dangling earrings and nail polish.)

[Sally24]

Sometimes its just a slip of the tongue. Sometimes an insult. Try not to worry about it. Yesterday I got a "miss" getting my Coolata. That made my night!

[Rhonda Ann]

Mistakes happen, If I have been talking to a group of men and a lady walks up I may accidentally call her sir and the same if visa versa call a man mam'. I have been called mam' when I'm dressed as a man and sir when dressed as a girl. I just never have taken things too personal. Take up too much of my time to be upset over details as this.

[Jorja]

When they mistake you for a guy just say, "excuse me, I am all woman for your information. I cannot help it if my mother was a pro wrestler and I take after her". Then glare at them like you want to body slam them. Works every time. ;)

[Eryn]

Humans are faulty and cannot perfectly recite the words "sir" and "maam" even when presented with ironclad gender clues. A few months back I was referred to as female by a waiter while I was in total boy mode. The only possibly feminine cues I was displaying was carrying a small messenger-style bag and having clear-polished nails. Sometimes perceptions are faulty or the brain simply screws up and inserts the wrong word. Don't let one slip ruin your day.

[sandra-leigh]

Then glare at them like you want to body slam them. Works every time. ;)

Last week I was (yet again) tempted to snip at a taxi driver for calling me "Sir". But I didn't.

What I did do, though, was forget a large box in the back of the taxi when I left. :eek: . When I realized a few minutes later, I called the taxi company and was able to provide the cab number and other information; they kept calling the driver until the driver answered, and then the driver delivered the box to me, no charge. Which the driver would, I am sure, have been less willing to do if I had snipped at him.

I have a love-hate relationship with the local taxi companies. "Hate" is too strong, but the drivers do almost always "Sir" me, even when I am in full get-up. On the other hand, they are polite to me, remember where I live and remember where I am most likely to go, ask about my wife; and at least two of them have accepted my word that I would pay them the next time I saw them. (Which I did.)

[KellyJameson]

It happens all the time to cis-gendered women , especially if they wear their hair short with no makeup and are not busty.

Sometimes people are not sure and are caught trying to NOT be rude but leave you wondering if they are intending to be rude as an act of cruelty.

The best way is for society to dispense with gender specific language and all the other labels.

It is like assuming you know someones age or walking up to a woman and asking her how far along she is in her pregancy only to find out she is not pregnant.

Our eyes often deceive us so we have to teach ourselves not to assume.

[Nicole Erin]

She ain't there no more but we used to have an assistant manager where i work who was a GG yes but had a lot of masculine cues, and her voice could have gone either way.
What was trippy was one day some customer was there bitching and i had to ask for her help, anyway the store manager came along and it was me, the Assistant, and the manager. The customer was calling me "she" and the GG asst. mgr. "he".

My thought was, "Wow, now this is a stellar example of gender confusion, isn't it?" I mean I present as a woman at work and all but still.

[Aprilrain]

Humans are really good at reading facial gender cues and they don't even know it. It doesn't take much, one needn't have a chiseled face to be seen as a male. I was not overly masculine looking befor my FFS but I still got read every now and again now I never get read those subtle facial cues were enough to tip the balance for me.

[Babeba]

I wouldn't worry too much. I was Sir'ed once when I was in a dress and heels. It does sometimes just happen for weird reasons not to do with getting read.

[Nicole Erin]

I wouldn't worry too much. I was Sir'ed once when I was in a dress and heels. It does sometimes just happen for weird reasons not to do with getting read.

Makes you wonder if "sir" is some sort of knee-jerk reaction. of course it bothers a TG more than a GG I would think.

[ColleenA]

Makes you wonder if "sir" is some sort of knee-jerk reaction. of course it bothers a TG more than a GG I would think.

GGs who have had it happen to them (not that I've heard of it often; only on occasion) generally tell me they simply puzzle over how anyone could make such a mistake or find it funny. For TGs, of course, it is not a laughing matter.

[angpai30]

I have started to wonder whether it is a laughing matter for me or not because most of my friends tell me I don't do "Dude" well and I almost absolutely giveaway my status of being transsexual when in guy mode. I don't look or act like a "guy" when I'm in guy mode, even when I have a days growth due to being banned from dressing in front of my kids I still get ma'am'ed. So being called sir is has turned out to be highly offensive to me as my heart burns every time when the male pronouns are used. I normally don't allow a days growth, but sometimes when i get home at midnight and have to work at 6 the next day I'll just climb into bed and sleep with my makeup on because I don't feel like getting up 3 hours later to shave and re=apply my makeup... to much hassle for so little energy.

Angela

[FurPus63]

This happens to me and it makes me angry. I don't know why? At work (I've lived 24/7 6 months) all my co-workers have no trouble remembering to call me "Paulette" but just yesterday my supervisor once again was talking to someone in reference to me and said, "did you hear what he said to you?" WTF? I don't get it? After all this time...still with the "he" from time to time. I'm addressed as "mam" or "miss" 99% of the time in person. My worst time is on the phone (voice?). I get "sir" all the time on the phone...but what really gets to me is when I tell them, my name is Paulette and they come back with, "yes Paulette, sir!" That's when I usually get mad and say something about it.

The other day in a local mall some teenage boys were harassing me. That really made me feel bad, because I realized I'm not yet as passable as I thought I was and keep asking myself, "how much longer and what else do I have to do to get passable?" Will it ever happen?