What is the POINT of crossdressers.com?

[Frédérique]

“Over here Holmes – I’m in the bog!” (Dr. Watson in The Scarlet Claw)

I see there’s a thread authored by someone who is either fed up with crossdressing, or disillusioned with the fractious nature of the site, or the community, or the inexplicable nature of crossdressing and its peripheral concerns. How convenient. At a time like this, which exists only for me but is nonetheless real (a Procol Harum lyric, BTW), I tend to wonder about what the point of this particular discussion forum is – are we not here to DISCUSS crossdressing, and thus extend open arms (or open minds) to those in need, or is this place just a convenient platform for declaring agendas via endless rants? As I say, I spend (waste) a lot of time wondering about this...

Being a crossdresser, MtF variety, I came to this site to discuss crossdressing. The word “discuss” has many definitions, most of them obsolete (yet insightful), but, to my way of thinking, true discussion involves consideration of the pros and cons of a subject, in this case crossdressing. If you crossdress, you certainly have something to discus with other crossdressers, mainly because the subject itself is taboo in “normal” or conformist society. In other words, crossdressing is not a subject to bring up in mixed company, no matter how liberal or enlightened that company may be. That’s unfortunate, and that’s why a “place” for crossdressers is important. Crossdressing can be seen as a deviant human characteristic, albeit historic in nature and somewhat inevitable, even though nobody, including the crossdressers, can fully understand it...

I crossdress. I identify as a male yet wear women’s clothing a percentage of the time; therefore I qualify to discuss crossdressing. I have no agenda, except to point out that what I do is a benign exercise in human expression, no big whoop, and it is definitely interesting and fun. Simple, isn’t it? I came here to meet other individuals who like to crossdress, people who are relieved to finally be able to talk (write) about their passion, however confusing it may be at times, and perhaps feel better about being who they are, or who they want to be. This happens, I’m pleased to say. The “pros” of CD’ing may include tactile pleasures, or the thrill of going somewhere dressed, or the feeling of blessed apartness one gets whilst crossdressed. I can relate to that. The “cons” of crossdressing may involve the social and familial problems one may encounter by insisting on continued (or more visible) crossdressing, i.e. bumping up against the non-crossdressing world at large, or crippling self-doubt, or a lack of appreciation for the need to crossdress. I can relate less to that, but I still listen (I mean read)...

There is plenty to discuss, for crossdressing is a genuinely discursive subject. Discuss used to mean shake off, put away, or dissolve – those who purge or otherwise turn away from CD’ing may be actively discussing their crossdressing in this manner. Discuss also used to mean to declare, or explain. Those who rant fit the former, while I “fit” into the latter category – to me, there’s no end to the explanation, or the attempted explanation, that crossdressing spawns out of necessity or curiosity. Many times I see this site as an opportunity to explore meanings, and a place has been (conveniently) provided to report one’s findings. Discuss also can mean “to eat or drink with enjoyment,” and I discuss my crossdressing in this manner on a daily basis. With this in mind, why come to this place, this discussion forum, this foggy bog, to discuss crossdressing? Wouldn’t it be more fun to just crossdress?

I often wonder why I’m here at all, trying, with all futility, to climb up a slippery slope I never wanted to conquer in the first place. Discussing crossdressing can be a very joyless exercise, my friends. On this site I have “met” a lot of controvertists, that is to say people who try to dispute my very existence as a MtF crossdresser, simply because it doesn’t “jibe” with their ideas. I perceive an argument against crossdressing, even though being a crossdresser is, in my way of thinking, not a controvertible subject. I represent the majority of MtF crossdressers, but, to some, I’m not doing it “right.” I get confused when someone from another part of the CD spectrum tries to dispute a highly personal thing like one’s crossdressing. This is sowing discord is a place where concord should be an irrefutable part of the community. We are very much apart from society at this point in time, a community of outsiders that cannot seem to agree with each other. In short, this place can be more like a platform for grievances, and less like a forum for discussion, even though making such a statement sounds like a rant! Sorry. I would just prefer to discuss the vagaries, circumstances, and mysteries of crossdressing, without being assailed by certain communal precepts. At the end of the day, I have fun crossdressing, period. Surely that’s OK, isn't it?

I can understand why some individuals join the site, only to leave after dipping one’s toe in the chilly water of crossdressing discussion. Frankly, I’m not sure why I’m still here – perhaps I’m bolstered by those who have a “problem” with run-of-the-mill MtF crossdressers like myself, so I feel I must provide a voice for people like me. A lot of crossdressers crossdress (bless them) and never write about it, while others take it upon themselves to exclude the less serious individuals via the written word and steer the proceedings towards a direction that they insist upon. I can feel it all around me, and it feels like isolation within a place that should be more welcoming. I’m a member of several forums like this one, but this is the only discussion forum where I actually participate – the subject itself is infinitely fascinating, and the NEED to crossdress never goes away. I crave true discussion, but I can do without the arguments and discord. Of course, the instant you write and submit something you’re actually painting a target on your “self.” Is this fair?

To reiterate, what is the point of crossdressers.com, and what is the point of all this discussion? Are we here to encourage crossdressing, in all of its myriad forms, or are we trying to figure out how to deal with it, or how to incorporate it into society, or how to ultimately detach ourselves from this most natural of human urges, namely to become ONE with ourselves? If the undeclared mission of this place is to provide a mirror for the community, can’t it be used to reflect some LIGHT on occasion?
:straightface:

[bridget thronton]

I am here to gain information as well as give and receive support - nice post

[suzy1]

I will give it a go Freddy.

To start with we are all different so I can only speak for me.

I have a female side. I don’t just ‘dress up’ I am Suzy.
I find speaking to other ‘girls’ here that except me for who I am is a pleasure. And it’s also a pleasure to talk to so many nice members. Its fun and its informative.
Some members even talk about this site as a family and I would not disagree with them.

Now about ‘the point of all this discussion’ Well I love to chat [If that’s not my feminine side coming out then I don’t know what is?]:heehee:
And even the rants can be fun [well to Suzy they are]:)

So lighten up Freddy. Just enjoy life and stop analysing everything.

And a hug as well,

SUZY :love:

[DonniDarkness]

Freddy this was really well written.

When i started coming here to "discuss" Crossdressing i was in a very different place with my internal perception of self. From being here and joining in on discussions i have learned a great deal about myself as well as others. One thing that will always remain constant among the community of MtF Cd's are the expansive amount of motives and differences that separate our personal identities.

Discussions that i have had here or listened to, while seeking out the answers i needed for myself have brought me to a much better place in life altogether. Its amazing how something most of us have remained secretive about can shine LIGHT into the rest of our daily lives. My confidence has grown from being a part of the dialog that goes on within our small little community....but not only as a MtF Crossdresser, in my everyday life as well.

Discussing Crossdressing has inevitably brought my confidence to a level to where i want to BE a Light in the World, but for me that is always what i have wanted out of the dicussions i have been a part of here on Crossdressers.com. Our dialog with each other about all aspects of Crossdressing have taught me many things about myself....now im going out, coming out, and smiling about it the whole time.

Two years ago guilt and shame were crippling me...Now I've crippled them. There are still many challenges i face in life being TG, but i know now that i have been equipped for them thanks to the advice and feedback from my community here on Crossdressers.com.

-Donni-

[Jolene]

We all have our different reasons for coming to this site. I am so thankful I can come here to find others who I share this secret with. For me here, crossdressing is a loneiy world. If others around here even suspected this about me, life would quickly become umbearable. A few would maybe understand, but most would not.
Thank You everyone for being here and I enjoy reading about the different ways that all of you go about your lives.

[AKKaren]

:hugs:I think a lot of us, myself included, need this sense of connection that we get from sharing with others this side of our lives. I enjoy supporting others endevors to explore and discuss the ins and outs of being a CD...it is hard sometimes to peek out of the closet, stand up straight and accept who we are without the kindness and advice of those that have already stepped out. Being a CD can be a very lonely thing, as we all have felt in our hearts.

:

[Cassandra Lynn]

So lighten up Freddy. Just enjoy life and stop analysing everything.


Are those gosh darn trees blocking your view of the forest Freddy?

Seriously tho, after having been around the dubdubdub and spending time on various forums you have to take everything with the proverbial grains of salt.

I've learned this the hard way sadly, and yes i'm a bit jaded because of it.

I'm being purposefully flippant with you of course, i think like most i come here for the fellowship and yeah, even to learn sometimes.
It's just that i tend to skim across alot more these days.

It's been many moons since i last read a gratutuious panty thread in fact.

Ultimately? One has only to imagine (or think back to our lives pre-net) what it would be like to not have thes places to interact?

[MsRenee]

I join this forum because long sgo I thought I was only one of a few that dressed up. But since then Ive learned that alot of ppl and I mean alot have the same interest and have gone thru very much the same issues that I have. Its nice to come in here and help out all the newbies that have just begun to nuture their femenine side instead of trying to hid it. Like they say no ones forcing you to come here. Im not. here to judge orcause drama. I like to help those that are asking for it.This place allows us girls to help those who ask for it just lighten up ok.
Renee

[Marcy]

I joined recently, and I've been actively reading posts and participating in conversations. Here are the reasons I like the site:

-it is nice to be able to read about so many people with the same "hobby" as me. I felt like a freak before I found the site, and I love reading about so many people who crossdress and have happy lives. I'm not alone.

-as an "amateur" crossdresser, I like getting tips on "how to do it" from more experienced people. This is immensely helpful.

-reading about the TS and SRS issue and the people who have made the ultimate gender change is very helpful as I think about what is right for me, what is going on inside my head and body, etc.

-it is just plain fun to read and participate in the discussions on clothes, makeup, shopping, and to look at the photos of other crossdressers.

-From what I've picked up from the short time I've been on the site, and this may sound obvious, many of us have more feminine interests and even discussing these interests for those of us who are still closeted is very hard to do - we keep up the purely masculine facade to protect our image. I like having a place where I can be more feminine.

Marcy

[paddy]

As I approached 10 posts, I hesitated for I had the same question in mind. I was not expecting to see so many posts about folks gong through hrt and sex change operations. I do read those posts and have a lot of respect for them for going through this. This forum has let me see the many flavors of what I am going through. This forum has answered a lot of questions I have had for years but had no one I could ask.

[Deedee Skyblue]

For me, there are several reasons I come here. 1. I'm learning that some of my quirks are not unique to me. 2. I'm learning a lot about crossdressing and the people who dress. 3. It's a place I can say things I can't say anywhere else. 4. I love looking at the pictures. 5. I love being able to post my own pictures!

Deedee

[Julie Gaum]

Freddy that was a well thought out post. However your last paragraph leaves me confused. If you were to change the "or' to "and" I would agree 100% with your
feelings that the forum is to shed light on what we do and is not a debating society. Unfortunately CDing is a complicated subject and a few sisters go off on a tangent that breeds needless animosity. We all walk in our own high heels and not in those of our sisters so if we can all stop being judgmental the Forum will become what I believe it was created to be.
Julie

[justmetoo]

:hugs:I think a lot of us, myself included, need this sense of connection that we get from sharing with others this side of our lives. I enjoy supporting others endevors to explore and discuss the ins and outs of being a CD...it is hard sometimes to peek out of the closet, stand up straight and accept who we are without the kindness and advice of those that have already stepped out. Being a CD can be a very lonely thing, as we all have felt in our hearts.

:

This pretty much says it for me. Well put, Karen! :)

[Lady Catherine]

I would still be deaply entrenched in the closet if not for this forum. I try to be supportive and not derogatory when I leave a comment. When I ask a question I am looking for an honest opinion. Even if it's not what I want to hear.

I do agree that if we can't get along with ourseoves, it's will be difficult at best for others to accept us. So I hope and pray we will some day have a united front to present to the world some day so we can all live in peace, one with another.

[ReineD]

To reiterate, what is the point of crossdressers.com, and what is the point of all this discussion? Are we here to encourage crossdressing, in all of its myriad forms, or are we trying to figure out how to deal with it, or how to incorporate it into society, or how to ultimately detach ourselves from this most natural of human urges, namely to become ONE with ourselves? If the undeclared mission of this place is to provide a mirror for the community, can’t it be used to reflect some LIGHT on occasion?
:straightface:

I think that members join this site because they feel it is a safe place to share their concerns, no matter what they are. As much as you'd like the CDing to be taken as a fun thing, it just doesn't play out that way for everyone.

Why would you only want to encourage the upbeat threads and not address the myriad issues that many members experience, including attempts at trying to define the CDing for themselves through sometimes controversial discussion?

And, there are many threads that do reflect a great deal of positive light on the subject. Please don't lose sight of this.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm here to see the experiences of others, encourage when possible, help others when possible and to show for the most part I enjoy life and don't take myself that seriously. That be pretty much it Hon. How we personally address CDing and it's associated issues is pretty much up to each of us individually.;):battingeyelashes::)

[SusanCACD]

Freddie, I you shouldn't be in Kansas anymore. I very much injoy reading your very well thought out contributions to this forum. As with many others, you add to he richness and understanding of ourselves that many of us crave in our lives. I am sure there are those that will not agree or even take time to read and absorb your eliquent words but it matters not. It is that very contribution that makes this such a helpfull, incouraging and wonderfull place to frquent. Thank you so much.
Susan

[Silmaril]

For what it's worth, I have personally viewed the point of this forum to be the membership. I saw signing up as applying for citizenship in a place I wanted to be. Signing up here was like declaring to you all and to myself that I am one of you, as surely as if we were to cut open a vein and share our blood so it runs in each other's veins. To me, the point is the belonging. The wide range of opinions, perspectives, personalities, and goals can be frustrating, much like politics among humans anywhere. But it's human. I'd hate to see the forum limited to any single purpose other than gathering us together.

[franlee]

Freddy, although I can never come close to writting anything as proper and literate as the post you have just put up. I am compelled to reply with a complete "Very Well Said!" I only wish I could follow with anything that would futher your statement of facts. I have come to realize that even though we all share the CD issue in our life, and this is for that. It has the same issues as society in general. It is not enough to have this to explore and share. It appears that we splinter into cluqes that have our own special needs or desires and feel we must be aknowledged and or embraced on that perticular level. And as in society at large if you are not of a like mind many think you are predjugdist against it, it can't be that you just don't have any interest and therefore want to continue with the reason for being here to start with; Crossdressing.
I have found many meaningful friends here that share CDing and even some that have moved from CDing on to other gender issues that I am concerned with for their needs and comfort. But it was because think of meeting them here for the CDing aspect that I came here for. The advancement of other lifestyle issues is great to share but not to imposse on me or anyone, I will either care about you or I will move on, the same as I ask from anyone reading my threads or post. That doesn't mean I'm wrong and you are right any more that the other way around. I just means we each are here for the common interest in CD and then we go from there.
When I first came here I found a great many of you ready to except and share, it was amazing. I then learned the forum has a cross-section of all kinds of CDer's that are far more advanced than I am and that my life's choices didn't always coinside with theirs, but I learned from them and was over whelmed in many cases that caused me to question my place here. But I am here and still learning and shareing when I can. And the answer is simple for me I have made friends on here that are worth it for me to stay.

[Ressie]

Procol Harum is one of my favorite groups from the '60s. "There's too many women and not enough wine, too many poets and not enough rhyme" from Your Own Choice. ...draw your own conclusions.

[reb.femme]

Like so many here, this site proved that I was not the only 'weirdo' in the world. :heehee: My first time out and open to public gaze was encouraged by StacyB one evening.

I've found that some like to raise their own flag (if you will) and attempt to impose a "you're wrong if you don't think like me" mentality, but where such a person is too much, I just ignore them thereafter. Rather than posting up too, I've found that I am more of a 'lurker' and 'commenter' these days. Overall, this site has been a definite force for good in my CD education.

Rebecca

[Phoebe]

As many others have posted to this thread, finding others who accept me as I wish to be.

[Rhonda Ann]

I fit in to the relieved, I was alone and nobody knew. I now have a place to go to see, visit with, share ideas, and recieve ideas with people of the same passion. I live in a location where CDing is next to unheard of, I feel I am not the only CD here even though I know of no other. I love coming to this site to get fresh ideas, get some advice or tip, get support, and if I can make that 1 person feel better that's what makes my day. I'm still a new member of this site and I feel so much better about myself thanks to people who care.
To anyone reading this: THANK YOU SO MUCH, for the support, and excepting me for who I am.

Rhonda

[AllyCDTV]

While I have been a member of this forum for only about a week I am so glad to have a place where serious discussion can go on. I just wish there was more actual discussion going on withing the threads. Most threads are simply replies to the OP with little interchange between other posters.

While I do appreciate the serious discussion, I wish there was more discussion related to the part- time/hobbyist crossdresser who look upon this as a source for fun. I have seen one thread already that was closed for seemingly getting too risque'. While I understand the need to keep this site clean for younger or more sensitive members, it would be nice if there was a private section just for adults who would like to engage in more sexually oriented discussions.

[Amy A]

If the site exists to provide support to crossdressers and their families, then it has to be open to all forms of discussion about crossdressing and it's ramifications.

Any limitation on discussion, or on who 'qualifies' to discuss crossdressing, surely undermines the point of the site. As you acknowledge, we live in a society that restricts our ability to talk freely, so why place restrictions here? Surely this should be a refuge from any prejudice or conversational boundaries?

As Reine has already stated in her usual insightful way, we all experience crossdressing in different ways, and I personally don't get much out of 'fluffier' threads. I also don't appreciate the members who seek to impose their views on others, but this is a community like any other and we aren't all of one single mind. If a thread doesn't draw my interest or I don't feel I can resonate in any way then I just tend to ignore it, but I'm glad that this is a place where those threads can exist and that people can talk about crossdressing in any way they choose. I've gained a lot of support and strength from this site and I hope I can continue to do so and hopefully repay some of that support to others.

[Fashionista]

One thing I discovered which sets apart the transgendered "community" from any other community (e.g. gay/lesbian) is how fragmented transgendered are.

There is the guy that put on female clothing while having great sex with his wife and suddenly noticed that he enjoys the feeling of female clothing which turns him on.

Then there is the crossdresser who loves to connect to his feminine side, sometimes with a sexual turnon, sometimes just for the fun of slipping into a different role. Those who don't do it for sexual reasons don't want to be pegged by anyone as the sexual crossdresser's kind, because doing something because of sexual reasons is even worse than wearing clothing of the other sex, right?!

Then there are the drag queens, who always want to draw attention to themselves. Some don't like those as society often thinks of crossdressers as drag queens first, as these receive the most attention.

Then there are transgendered or transsexuals, pre-hormones, pre-op, post-op, pre-ffs, post-ffs, etc etc.
Transsexuals don't want to be seen as crossdressers, as they truly are women, just in a men's body, while crossdressers are men in a men's body who love women's clothing. Then there are TS who are autogynephilic, but that's a totally different story.

Although these statements are waaaaay oversimplified, they show an underlying problem:There will never be a single group of "crossdressers" who identify as a whole. Compared to classifying a CD/TG/TS, classifying a gay is quite simple.

This heterogenous setup is reflected in this and many other discussion forums. Some just discover their CD side while others are already on the way to the operating table whereas the third group just looks for answers how to get rid of this strange hobby/emotion/being.

Still, despite all the dissimilarity, I joined the forum because it helps me coping with being transgendered when I connect to others that are in a similar situation. Sometimes it can be fun, sometimes it can wear you down. For all of these situations, it's great to have people to be able to share it with.

[Marleena]

Freddy I joined here to try and help others accept who they are. The site exists to give us a meeting place. It's a place to vent and look for answers and learn. Most of the general public does not accept us because we're different so we can't talk the talk outside of places like this one.

"Snowflakes" is used a lot to describe us because we are such a diverse group. We are also misunderstood by most of the general public. This is like a home away from home for MTF's I think.

[Callia]

Im here......to be honest Im not completly sure why. I know Im here to be able to talk about dressing and talk to others who wont judge me or cast me out simply because I dress. I only have 2 freinds whom I can talk to about it. I dont open up easy, but Im here so that eventually I can. Ive been to other places(like fetlife.com) but non of those places felt "comfortable".
I have alot to learn about myself, including questions Im not ready to ask. Hopefully Ill be able to figure everything out in time :)

[carhill2mn]

IMHO, one of the most important points of crossdressers.com is to provide a forum that enables others to know that they are "not alone". This is, perhaps, the greatest benefit of the internet (which was not yet invented when I was trying to learn more about myself).

[Celeste]

Well Freddy,I for one really enjoy your post,they always strike a chord with me and encourage me to think about things in a different light,so I would be greatly disappointed if you were not here or didn't make them.Coming here really changed it all for me...it changed the way I felt about dressing, gave it reason and helped me to identify with others.If someone is sad here,I feel for them and try to make a post that might be enlightening or uplifting.We are here for eachother and that alone is the sweetest of justifications.

I've been to many other sites,they just don't cut the mustard like this one.I sure hope they never change it....well aside from giving us back the ability to create albums.

[docrobbysherry]

Seriously, Freddy? For me, it's about u and all the others that r active here. And, where else am I going to go to chat with other guys about breast forms, nylons, and girdles?


--------------------------
While I do appreciate the serious discussion, I wish there was more discussion related to the part- time/hobbyist crossdresser who look upon this as a source for fun. I have seen one thread already that was closed for seemingly getting too risque'. While I understand the need to keep this site clean for younger or more sensitive members, it would be nice if there was a private section just for adults who would like to engage in more sexually oriented discussions.

Oh, we're here, Ally! There's actually a whole pack of us closet dressers here that do it for fun and our libidos. However, u should remember this is primarily a Trans support site!

[Eryn]

If the site exists to provide support to crossdressers and their families, then it has to be open to all forms of discussion about crossdressing and it's ramifications.

Any limitation on discussion, or on who 'qualifies' to discuss crossdressing, surely undermines the point of the site. As you acknowledge, we live in a society that restricts our ability to talk freely, so why place restrictions here? Surely this should be a refuge from any prejudice or conversational boundaries?...

What you suggest is a wonderful ideal, but the fly in the ointment is that there are people who will abuse that level of freedom toward their own selfish ends. This site is intended to be a place for safe discussion of TG issues by a wide range of individuals and certain restrictions on content are needed to ensure that those intended to use the site are able to do so without fear.

I am glad that my spouse and I can come to this site without fear of being confronted with explicit photos, gutter-level language, or highly-charged off-topic discussions that take emphasis away from TG issues. I'm also happy that we will be reasonably protected from abuse, flaming, or other negative personal behaviors.

I was around in the heydey of Usenet, and it was a wonderful, wide-open way of communicating. It was intentionally designed to be uncensorable. For the most part it worked well, but the hidden qualification was that one had to be either in the military, industry, or academia to access it which meant that the initial users were well-educated and possessed a certain level of self-discipline. Times changed, the Internet opened up to everyone and Usenet was infested by endless trolls, spam, serial posters, and mindless circular discussions. When you had to sift through 100 useless posts to find two that were relevant the fun and usefulness went out of it. I'd really hate to see a great resource like CD.com sink to that level.


...it would be nice if there was a private section just for adults who would like to engage in more sexually oriented discussions.

The Genetic Male section does allow discussion of these sensitive issues.

[Tara D. Rose]

A lot of what has been said already here is the reason I am here. Over the years we read so many new comers on here that still feel so lost and alone, then later they feel so comfortable with themselves and are released from so much of the social stigmatisms that most of us found ourselves in at one time or another. For many years, I was that way, and I think many on here can relate to that. We come here to tell our stories, triumphs, and yes, the sadness like divorce and separation that can be associated with being who and what we are. A few short years ago, before I found this particular site, I felt very different about what I was. I thought I was sort of sick and crazy because I knew I was a cross dresser. I used to wonder why I didn't really fit in with most men at work. I didn't think the way most of them thought. I stayed depressed most of my life from so many numerous aspects of my life that I didn't understand. ie; like being bullied in school, not fitting in with the majority of men in the work place, finding myself more compassionate towards others than did my peers, crying at sad stories on TV, and broken relationships, suicidal thoughts most of my life, for I felt so alone with this secret, who could I talk to?

I came here of course with my wife's permission and read so many stories almost just like mine. So many of us related to each other. I remember reading stories on here by others that I could have signed my name to and could have just as easily been my words and story of my life. I found from this site , that I am not alone in what I am. From this site, I found that I am not a freakish person by being a cross dresser that is all too often portrayed of people like us in the news media. I found from this site, that people like us are intelligent, honorable, caring, and giving people, that we are good citizens in the community and country. We are good Father,s, Grandfather,s, brothers and sons.

But the public social poison and vileness that is cast upon us so unfairly and unwarranted in the news media and tv shows, I am now cast from that which I once believed from that evil source. From all of the true heartfelt testimonies and stories from the hundreds of tg, cd, and ts members on this site, I have learned that those negatives are not true from the news media. For we are the ones that do know us better than the muggles that so easily cast us in the negative light. This site is very valuable for us in a very, very important way, for even though we are segregated by social norms in the news as outcast's, at least we on here have learned that none of that is so. At least now from this site, we no longer feel alone, all of us have been helped here and have given so much help as well. We can't have the whole world as friends, but on here, we can have each other as friends.
If this particular site didn't exist, there would be some of us that may have killed themselves. Or many would have made many mistakes and got divorced, but worked things out and stayed together from what cd's and their wives have learned from here. This site has helped so many TS's to support each other speaking from their own personal experiences and helping others make the right decisions in their lives.This site has helped me as well as I'm sure for other members, that from this site alone, I am no longer secretly ashamed of being who I am now. This site has been a life saver for many. This site is a blessing to us all, and to ones that have yet to find it. I invite a lot of my cd friends that are not on here to join up.Those are the positive things about this site. I so wish though that there could be less arguing sometimes, I know there isn't anything that is perfect, for every good thing comes with some bad. I can deal with respectful disagreements all day long along with meaningful respectful debates done with fairness and not misconstrue words of others and or call unnecessary names. When name calling takes place on here, then we break down the integrity by which we as TG people and this site stand for. Yes, I have had my but handed to me a few times, but I still respect you all and the site.

Support for all TG people and their friends and families is what the point of this site is.

Love & Respect

Tara

[noeleena]

Hi,

We all live on this earth, & it would be nice that every one can share though at this moment its seems yet again we cant, more lives lost , & you know where i mean.,

This is a very good reason for forums like this to be here so we can share our lives with others so that we can see there are differences all around us, if this forum = site , was only for one class of people then would there be a point to that,

I for one would not be here, im not a dresser or trans or gay , yet im different so to be able to open up with each other we need trust, we need to know what we say here, for many i know can be very hard to write about thier lives, with out fear of that being put in the hands of those that cant accept others of difference,

For my self im well known down under, so i can be very open about my self as many here & other people on forums know,

Again i can get to know others learn about them = you = know how you feel & of cause your familys, yes we have many differences .....yet ..... does that have to stop us from understanding each other. no matter where we live or problems we have, really its about life . so yes there is a point for this forum.= site= .

...noeleena...

[pj]

Does there have to be a point?

[WifeofWrenchette]

It's a support discussion board

[AmyGaleRT]

I came here first to learn about what it is I was doing, and later to get advice as to how to let my fiancee know about this part of me. Then, for a long time, I was so darned scared to say anything to her, I stayed away from here, because I kind of knew that, unless I could push past that and move forward, being here wasn't going to do me a lot of good.

Then I told her, the barriers came down, and I zipped back here like a homing pigeon. :)

Now I'm here because it's a place for me to be Amy, and to engage in "girl talk" with others like me (since I don't know anyone else around here). I'm here to share my story with those CDs who are hesitating about telling their SO, to reassure them that it might not be as bad as they think it will be. I'm here to share vicariously in the experiences that others have, to learn about the range of experiences that are possible, and to continue bolstering my confidence so that, perhaps, one day, Amy can walk the streets anywhere unafraid, her head held high and eyes bright. I'm here to ooh and ahh over the pictures others post, and share my own in hopes of getting a few oohs and ahhs, or at least some practical advice on my look. :) I'm here to pool what little I know with the great amount everyone else knows, that we may all benefit.

Those, I think, are as good of reasons for being part of a community as any.

- Amy

[Jana]

I crave true discussion, but I can do without the arguments and discord.

How can you possible crave "true discussion", if you are unwilling to go through the actual process? I'm sure you are aware that to discuss means to debate, to investigate, to examine through use of reasoning and/or argument. Some discussions are fruitful as they lead to some form of enlightenment. Some are not. However it's not always possible to determine the outcome ahead of time. One thing is certain, nonetheless; without arguments, and perhaps even a bit of discord, there can't be a true discussion, only a monologue.

[Beverley Sims]

My instant reaction to the title of the thread and my reply is.
"Why are you here if you can't get the point!
Yes a bit harsh, but Frederique, you wrote it and asked searching questions yet again.....
I think we are here to deal with it and give support to those that are confused, depressed and bring those out that are in hiding.
Help give courage to those that are closeted and want to come out. Especially to those with wives and girlfriends they so dearly love.
We support X dressing but I don't think we are here to encourage or promote it.

[bobbimo]

Freddie,
Prior to joining Crossdressers.com, most of the places I found on the WWW were pretty much related to sex. Sex with CD's Dating CD's, Hook up with a CD tonight.
This doesn't tell me anything about whats happening with ME. The why the how and the how come. This is the only site I've found that really HELPS. I get to meet every variety of CD out there. Some are in deep trouble and some have found that this is much more than the dresses, its TS.
I have fun and try to trow out a hug or two when needed. Who would think it so exciting to go shopping and make it home without someone staring at them. On this site its orth everything and the member are here to share the joy.
The point is that we all help each other and Thats the point.
And I dare not forget the vital role that the GG's play here too. What an amazing bunch or women we have.
Bobbi

[kimdl93]

As a discussion board, I would think that the point is to discuss a IDE array of topics relating to our shared interests, to provide support, encouragement and guidance when possible, and to indulge in the occasional cathartic outburst when need be. Often, I find the posts do indeed shed some light and help individuals under all kinds of duress. But, it's just a discussion board, lets not set our expectations,too high.

[Amy A]

What you suggest is a wonderful ideal, but the fly in the ointment is that there are people who will abuse that level of freedom toward their own selfish ends. This site is intended to be a place for safe discussion of TG issues by a wide range of individuals and certain restrictions on content are needed to ensure that those intended to use the site are able to do so without fear.


Sorry I should have added a 'non offensive' caveat, as I also wouldn't want people posted threats and/or explicit content on here. I meant rather no limitations that wouldn't already be in place in a civilised discussion. Perhaps that is a little naive of me! :)

I actually think that you, Eryn, and the other moderators, have struck a very good balance, as currently there is a good deal of freedom and the threads don't dissolve into the extended slanging matches you often see on other forums. I suspect that is very much to do with the nature of the site and it's aim to supply support, and the willingness of it's members to create a haven for all of us.

I personally wouldn't want to chage it from how it is now, sure there is plenty that doesn't interest me but there's a good deal that does as well, and I'm glad that others with different viewpoints and experiences to mine are here, as well as those who share my own experiences.
Thanks to you all, anyway. :)

[Lorileah]

:itb:I joined for the cookies. They said there would be cookies...and punch.

I don't even remember why I joined. I do know that in that time this forum has under gone a couple of transitions and changes. When I first got here it was truly a discussion group. Where one could voice their opinion and read what others have said. It was also FUN. We had several members who enjoyed being here and it showed in their posts. Now, now so lighthearted. And when someone attempts to discuss something hoping for at least a rational argument to a statement, it gets contentious.

What's the point? There are several. It cannot be a single point or it would become rote in no time. Some like to post photos of themselves (and since this is a community NOT based on sex, the photos are often very good poses of "women" in more common settings). It is a place where one can ask questions and get many answers and not always the answer they expect. Some use it as a place to vent frustrations. Some use it as a way to try and advance acceptance and freedom. I don't think there is one true point. It is what you make it.

[ReluctantDebutant]

I joined becuase I wanted to learn more about me and this subculture I belong to through the experience of others. I am interested in the bigger questions around CDing. I want to learn where I fit in by seeing how others fit in. I want to help when I can by sharing what I have experienced. I think the point is to help a fringe group feel not so alone.

[Alyla]

namely to become ONE with ourselves

Unification Theory, to bring congruence to the physical and metaphysical; Einstiens' paradox. To bring consistency to apparrent anomaly. Balance, harmony, acceptance, finding a way to continue a strenuous hike through the mystical forest of a planet where one's conscienceness finds form. When I was young, and learning to walk, I was unsteady, Freddy, over time I found my balance. Here I hear of other's adventures in this mystical forest, there are many ways to see the sunbeams falling through the leaves to the forest floor, I can bathe myself in the warmth and light of all of them, as I learn of the many ways to see who I am, and the way the world sees me. I am absorbtion, I came here to learn about myself through others eyes. I am content, I just like to put on a dress ansd sandals and dance in the yard.
To walk and pick flowers, to bake in the kitchen, or immerse myself in the tub and luxuriate in calm waters. To fall slowly into a whiter shade of pale. Crossdressing, transposing myself across a slightly less than than perfect realm of existence, it is acidic. It is meta-morphisizing, trans-adental, trans-porting, and trans-cending. And it sometimes lifts me into a special place.

One other thought, maybe you should read your post withall the "cross"'s crossed out. And I should write with out transposing.

winks and smiles,
peace and love,
Alyla, -scending

[Wildaboutheels]

It is simply one of thousands of free websites where people are able to come and learn about "stuff" that interests them for whatever reason. Just another website where it is POSSIBLE to "learn" but ONLY for those folks willing to spend time READING. One need not ever post any responses but they do need to read.

It's also a given that "learning" anything here or any other website is only going to be possible [no matter how much anyone reads] IF one comes with an open mind. An Open Mind often seems to be in short supply here just like most Forums.

in the end, it is simply what one makes of it.

[Gaby2]

What is the POINT?
All of the above + I have a record of my own development as a crossdresser.
:hugs:Gaby

oh... and all of the following...

[Lady Panda]

AS a GG ...I came here to get important info and gain an understanding of the CD life style. My SO is a CDer and when she came out.... this site gave me some vital imput to help ease my mind. I am so happy I found some really great support here and some much needed answers and perspective. It made it easier for me to understand the complexity of the struggles that CDers go thru. Also It gave me some understanding of why my Maternal Grandfather did some of the things he did and why my Grandmother was so upset with him.

I have always been an open minded person but this place gave me some insight and understanding of the struggles one goes thru on the road to self discovery.

Essentailly I feel this is a very good place to be to gain acceptance of the CD life and of ones self. I try to give support for all here. The GGs and the CDing ladies on the site. This place is SAFE and provides a safe haven in the storm of all the feelings and issues we all face.

I can provide a certain point of view to aid others in understanding what their So's, spouses and girl friends are going thru. This insight can be invaluable. I also have gotten invaluable information/insight from the ladies here that helped me understand what my SO was/is going thru. It made me a better SO and gave me a sense of peace that I can provide my SO with so that she can truely come to accept and feel confortable with. I am so thankful for all the people here. Even the extremists. they provide a balance to information available.

All who come her have invaluable information, opinions and wonderful support for ALL!

I think if not for this haven many would feel and be lost. I has made an impact in my life and has helped make me an even better person. I can give back and that is an important thing to me. I am sure others feel that way too.

On some small note it all allows the girl in us all, satify our need to have a little gossip in our lives. It satifies our inner need to be vouyers into other peoples lives and to see how we all fit in in the grand scheme of things.

I will get off my soap box for now ...hopefully I was not tooo long winded but I felt that aGG's point of view needed to be represented here.

Hugs for all!!! Especially you Frederique.

[sometimes_miss]

What is the POINT of crossdressers.com?
It's all kinds of things to all kinds of crossdressers, Freddie. A comfortable melting pot.

[GaleWarning]

For my money, the best thing about this site is that it is well-managed, welcoming and informative.

It enabled me to work out what my niche is in the WIDE crossdressing spectrum.

I found quite a few very rational and wonderful friends I could relate to. Thanks to you all!

[Foxglove]

Hi, Freddy! What's the point?

I've been a member of this forum for almost exactly a year. This time last year I was exactly nowhere--that is to say, deep in the closet where I'd been for a long, long time. I had no clothes, no knowledge of how to do myself up, no knowledge even of what I was.

I was beginning to do some research on the net. I wanted to find out what made me tick. Why am I the way I am? Then I stumbled across this forum. I wasn't long in signing up. I've done a lot of talking. Everybody knows that. But I've done a lot of listening, too.

The result? I'm out in the open in my town now. For the last couple of weeks I've been in the shops, the offices, the cafés, the library of this town. Fully dressed, fully myself. A lot of people have been very good to me. Nobody's been bad to me. (So far anyway. I suppose I'll run into the baddies eventually.) People call me "Annabelle", and I'm just going about my life now the way I wish I'd always gone about it. Too bad we didn't have the net and forums like this one back in the 60's.

So I think there is a point to it.

And Freddy, you seem to worry a lot about the nay-sayers. One of my favorite quotes from Nietzsche (who was also a "Freddy"): "You don't want your chain to let you go? Then by all means, bite it!"

Best wishes, Annabelle

[adrienner99]

It's about sharing. We can dress up in private and stay home and take photos of ourselves that we fear showing anyone, or we can at least venture onto this site and find people who have the same mysterious, befuddling, maddening obsession we do.

[NyssaF]

This is a safe place for me. A place where I don't have to hide my feminine side. A place where I can share - whether it's frustrations, joy, advice or pics. And I love this place because it reminds me that I am not the only one, others share or have shared the things I am going through.

[Ceri Anne]

Fredrique, my friend. I can understand you feelings, for I have seen a bit of the I'm transitioned or transitioning, so am the real deal vs the casual in the closet CD. But in all honesty, I have come to meet (online only so far) a number of girls here from all varieties of CD who have been supportive, interesting and helpful. I'm looking very forward to meeting some of them as our paths cross in my travels (you included). For me, meeting, sharing and going out as girl friends is the best part (not girlfriends as in intimate) I have found a lot of discussion on here of various interests I have and also issues, problems and sometimes just encouragement. Don't let some of the sour posts disrupt you from the reason your here, look for and encourage those who feel the same as you.

[Beverley Sims]

This site has been very memory jogging to me.
You always remember the good times and forget the rest.
I have replied to people about a lot of my activities over the years.
I have had flash backs to situations I had totally forgotten about.
If you asked me whether I had dressed much years ago I would have told you about two or three memorable instances and when I look back I have had a lot of memorable instances that are worth remembering. I may sell the copyright to my musings to myself and write a book.
I could still do it without outing myself.
If it was a best seller I wouldn't care then. :)

[LadyPilot]

Hey there Girl! I am new to this site but not to crossdressing; however, I wish I found this site many years ago. This site provide me the opportunity to talk about anything and everything without prejudice, shame or guilt. I can easlily talk to my wife about everything, but, sometimes it is great to have a friend to talk to. Your post was very well written and well received and I do hope that you will continue providing your insight.

[TGMarla]

I think the point of this place, the purpose if you will, changes for everyone over the course of their tenure here, depending on how long they bother to stick with it. Like many, I found this place by accident on purpose, meaning I was looking for such a site, and happened upon it in my browsings. At the time, I was travelling for my work, and I was doing a whole lot of dressing up in motel rooms. I didn't know anyone anywhere I went. So here was a site where I could go while dressed up and talk to others about that very thing. It was like having another female at the ol' hen party.

I'm not travelling around anymore. But crossdressing is something that I don't discuss with anyone. And I mean no one, not even my wife. (Hopefully, that will change soon.) This site provides me the only place I can go where I can discuss crossdressing openly and freely with others who engage in the very same activity. And while there are some restrictions, and a few topics that tend to be taboo (like sex with oneself while dressed), it's still a very open community with thousands of members, all of whom either crossdress or are understanding and supportive of those of us who do.

So the bottom line for me is this: In a world that does not accept, and indeed ridicules, crossdressers, this is a place where I am not only accepted, but even propped up and promoted as a member of a community. Here, people like what I do, how I do it, and enjoy discussing it. Here, I can show off my new dress, and others think it's a good thing. Here, I am understood.

[jacques]

hello,
I do not know what the point of this forum is or why I contribute it. But I do know that it has given me the confidence to be me and made me realize that I am not the only man in the world who likes wearing women's clothing. AND I am forever grateful for that!
luv J

[Asche]

It looks like different people come to this site for different things.

A number of people mentioned "support." In my case, that isn't a big motivation. For one thing, since I'm not an orthodox cross-dresser, I didn't really expect most people here to be able to relate to my way of dressing and presenting, and in the few cases where I've talked about it, the response has lived up (or is it "down"?) to my non-expectations. For another, I get plenty of support and affirmation from people IRL -- pretty much everywhere except for work, I am quite open about what I do.

What I do come for is the hope of people sharing what it is like to be a man who cannot (and doesn't want to) fit within the roles that society insists men should confine themselves to, since that's how I describe myself. Unfortunately, I'm usually disappointed. It seems like most of the men here seem to insist that they (their "male selves") are "masculine" in the traditional sense and their non-masculine activities, feelings, etc., belong to a sort of female alter ego, a solution which doesn't work for me at all.

I've tried some men-in-skirts groups, but the men there seem to be just as hung up on convincing themselves that they are 100 % masculine. (Nope, none of that yukky feminine stuff here.)

While I'm here, I also look for people relating to us or to people in their lives as real people (like Martin Buber's "I and thou" relationship.) Unfortunately, all too often, here, like everywhere else, people mostly relate with who they imagine the other to be -- sort of role-to-role, or caricature-to-caricature relationships.