SO said CD not me ?

[Terri Semes]

SO knows about my urge to cd and said she is ok with it,but she said she just could not imagine me doing this because it is so unlike me. Have any of you girls heard this from your SO ?

[**Sasha**]

I gradually ramped it up with my SO and then one day told her I always felt this way but was to embarrassed to tell her. As for it being "unlike" me, if you knew me, you would probably say the same as I am very manly when I need to be. But not having to be the manly man 100% of the time is a good distraction from the stresses of everyday life. I come home from work and put on a nice pair of panties and sometimes a bra and forget about what happened at work.

[~Joanne~]

SO knows about my urge to cd and said she is ok with it,but she said she just could not imagine me doing this because it is so unlike me. Have any of you girls heard this from your SO ?

Nope, never. She knows I don't go with what people consider social norms. So finding out that I am a CD really didn't shock her in the least and still doesn't. I keep my dressing limited to when she's not home still because I don't want to push things but I don't think she'd be phased much if I didn't.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Not an SO, but I told a long time friend and occasional lover. She didn't really approve, and she said she was stunned as she had always thought of me as being very masculine. Yet we're still friends 20 years later, although I guess our friendship evolved into a DADT. My wife has always know - we met in a compuserv chat room and my handle was deedee(tv).

[Jenniferathome]

I think this is the normal response from any SO. They CAN'T imagine it, why would they imagine it? Crossdressing is pretty weird. Talk to your SO and help her to try and understand why

[Lady Catherine]

I get that a lot when i tell people. "But you're one of the most manly guys I know!" I honestly think it helps them cope better with it. Had one friend tell me it totally changed the way they looked at crossdressers because if I did it, it obviously wasn't just gay guys and freaks.

[Tora]

Pardon me young-ens. Some of us old Beasts may have been over compensating for our Femme feelings. Hell, ex-military, gun permit holder, macho. Who knew anything about CD 40 years ago. My wonderful bride found this hard to accept.

[Stephanie47]

I'm with you, Tora. I would not it is not necessarily overcompensating for cross dressing, but, over compensating to do no harm to our wives. I do not have any desire to cross dress around my wife, nor discuss the issue. It's a private matter. I believe the vast majority of cross dressers when en drab do not look 'girlie' or act 'girlie.' Is there suppose to be some telltale sign? Is there some tell tale sign to 'make' a gay or lesbian walking down the street? To me the absence of a clear identifier suggests the expression of two facets of a person's inner being. Unfortunately, the genetic makeup of our heritage has created a clear difference in stature of men and women.


Pardon me young-ens. Some of us old Beasts may have been over compensating for our Femme feelings. Hell, ex-military, gun permit holder, macho. Who knew anything about CD 40 years ago. My wonderful bride found this hard to accept.

[heatherdress]

Terri - It's not unusual for anyone's partner to be unable to imagine them doing something new or unique. Seems like the next step is to let her see you dressed. Good luck. Hopefully it will be a special event for you and a growth of intimacy, communications and feelings for each other.

[ColleenA]

Terri - It's not unusual for anyone's partner to be unable to imagine them doing something new or unique.

This statement reminded me of the time a friend from high school was cleaning out a closet and found his old guitar, which he had played regularly back in the day. He was then in his 40s, and his two teenage sons were surprised to learn he had ever played music. It really hit him hard how long it must have been since he had last played it.

[Beverley Sims]

The mystique about me was when I was twenty I had a lot of female acquaintances, I would have 3 or 4 in tow and they would wine and dine me, they were showgirls and did not want anyone else tagging along. I was their unofficial escort. Yes I had it great. :)
When they found out I made a good looking woman they really could not take it on board until they got me to dress.
They thought I was a man.... :)

[Terri Semes]

If not for this board I would not have known that this many people had this desire to dress in womens clothing or would I have revealed my secret fun to my SO.

[Kris Taylor]

The comments that it is "unlike us" is interesting to me. I have always thought of people as having different facets of their personality. It's pretty rare for one person to see all the facets of another. For example, I know from stories that my wife acts differently with a group of girlfriends than with me, but that doesn't surprise me. As a couple of people said, I consider my crossdressing a very private and personnal matter. I would like my wife to know from the perspective that I don't like having any secrets from her but I don't think it is worth the potential for her feeling alienated or not understanding.

The comment Catherine made is really encouraging to me, about people saying "if you do it I guess it isn't gay" because it is important for spouses to understand that their husbands are heterosexual and not gay, which is a source of concern for people with very traditional upbringing sometimes, since a lot of social elements (think the 1950s) focused on conformance not individualism.

[kimdl93]

I think that would characterize the reaction from a lot of people I know, including my wife. We all form mental images of those we know and love. Something so out of the ordinary, like CDing, can seem a huge contradiction of that initial mental image. Fortunately, your SO, as my wife is able to understand the need, even if the image is difficult to comprehend.

[Tina B.]

In my younger days, I was a beer drinking, truck driving, macho man. So yes my wife was surprised when I came out to her, it didn't fit her idea of me, but she embraced it right off, and was never put off by it. I wish I had accepted it as quickly as she did, it took me many years, it took her a few minutes.

[suchacutie]

Tina is absolutely unlike my male self. That's one of the reasons that it was so clear this was not a fantasy or some fleeting idea, but a functional part of me that needed to be explored!

[Karren H]

Obviously she really doesn't know you.....

[Terri Semes]

Your after work routine is like mine,when I get dressed I feel like another person in another place ,away from work stress.

[NyssaF]

Ayup, that's pretty much what my now-wife said when I first told her.