10 t0 1

[Michelle 51]

Not sure about the rest of you but it takes 10 positive encounters to make up for 1 bad one.When I go out everything can go great and people are friendly especialy women and you are doing ok and it just takes 1 negative comment or action to set me back.Today I was going to get makeup and as I was entering a guy was leaving and he lets out a "catwhistle" and laughs.I said to the salesgirl who heard it also "he must think I'm cute" She laughed and said I like it when I get whistled at .I responded by saying "you get it becasue your cute.I don't think I got it for that reason"She said take it for good and don't worry about it.I wish it was that easy.I know it shouldn't but it takes me a while to get over it.I had a good outing and went shopping and for lunch with a girlfriend and everyone was friendly.Why does it take 1 negative to ruin an otherwise good outing.Does it bother you girls like that or am I just over sensitive

[Nicole Erin]

Take a look at the idiots who try to ruin your day and really ask yourself if it's worth it to worry for more than a minute.
I guess it is like high school - we spent a lot of time trying to impress people we didn't even like. Well, high school is long over for most of us so... time to quit worrying what the morons and bullies think.

I guess if someone is not full time dressing or living as a woman then they have not had the experience to develop a thick skin. It does take a while.

[Kathi Lake]

Do what I do - simply forget the bad and focus on the good. Bad experiences? What are those?

:)

Kathi

[Marcia Blue]

Anyone giving a women our size, (except the little ones like, Kathy), a hard time really must be crazy. That being said, crazy people do not know what they are talking about.

Sorry Kathy, could not help myself. You make me jealous.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I understand how you feel, I am similarly sensitive.

[Stephanie47]

The person has never grown up. I bet in elementary school he made fun of classmates who wore glasses or had braces. In junior high school he probably made fun of smart kids by calling them 'nerds.' He probably harasses gays and lesbians. In all probability he does not like anyone different than himself. On second thought, he probably does like himself either.

[Bree Wagner]

It's definitely tough to get over those bad experiences. I try real hard not to let it affect me, but if it does I try doubly hard not to let it carry over to the next time I'm out. The good definitely outweighs the bad!

-Bree

[Kathi Lake]

(except the little ones like, Kathy), . . .I'll have you know that I tried on one of my smaller skirts (size withheld due to not wanting to get beaten up) last week and I had trouble zipping it up. Heck, after all of the food I ate today, I'm feeling positively convex!

:)

Kathi

[Rogina B]

If you want to be out,then you have to have a thick skin.Anything negative has to roll off like water on a duck's back! Oh,and I wonder if they have negative sizes for Kathi..lol

[Chickhe]

It can be difficult to get past the childhood attitude that you want to fit in...but we're not trying to join the social club, so who cares what anyone else thinks?... they don't know you or what your personal situation is, so whatever they were thinking is wrong anyways.... consider also that you do not know exactly what that person was thinking either... so take the positive and consider that at least you made someone happy and you were noticed (I like to believe that everyone sees a CDer, so I'm thinking...'wow!...they noticed the obvious'...its when I don't get noticed that I wonder what's up.

[PretzelGirl]

It is a frame of mind that you have to get into and it isn't easy for everyone. It isn't just being able to ignore everything that may be against us but it is also not presuming everything going on around us is about us. Sometimes we get looked at because people check each other out. Sometimes they are noticing what we are wearing. A cat whistle may be another thing, but you never know. The bottom line is that life is about enjoying yourself and if you let others get in the way, then you aren't getting the fullest out of your efforts. Don't worry about other people, it is what you think that counts.

[Wildaboutheels]

YOU are not a mindreader. Nor is ANYone else at these Forums regardless that most people seem to think that they are. Endless proclamations still won't make it true. It IS possible is it not, that his catwhistle and laugh were a genuine compliment? Maybe HE is also a CDer? There are many kinds of laughs you know. Unless he had a scowl or sneer on his face, neither you nor anyone else can know his intent. What if you pass 100 people dressed w/o a problem and just one person decides to interact with you and asks you a question? What if it is a dumb question? Are you going to assume that they asked you just to hear your voice just to confirm their suspicions? And that they are a mean person or CD hater merely for asking a question?

I think it is always best to give people the benefit of the doubt. Until they PROVE otherwise.

Maybe it's because I have never been able to read minds.

[Michelle 51]

It annoys me also because I was teased as a kid and now I'm 6" and 225 lbs and I don't take a lot of shit and had I been in male mode it would have been on.Like what's your problem "dude" but in femme who needs the hassle so you take it.Anyway that was yesterday and now its today and I'm cool with it and looking back it was a real good outing.Spent to entire day as Michelle out and about.

[Beverley Sims]

Bad encounters always dampen the confidence a bit.
Take the SA's advice and "take it for good." :)

[LadyPilot]

Michelle, if you visit Texas feel free to give me a call and I will go out with you and will be more than happy to take the flak. Quite often I am dressed but not wearing make-up or wig so unfortunetly rude behavior is somewhat expected especially from those who are affraid of themselves, doesn't bother me at all. BTW, my wife has no problem letting them have it. A big hug for you.

[Celeste]

A friend and I also had an experience that stayed with me for a while.We were at a small diner when I noticed a family of 4 eating a few tables away.I noticed the father looking over with a real mean expression on his face...He couldn't take is eyes off of us and it was plain to see he was extremely uncomfortable.He then began making snide remarks like"they shouldn't even be out in society" and using fowl language all the meanwhile.It seemed he was trying to purposely upset us for sure.By the time they finished and were exiting walking by our table,I was very concerned he was actually going to go into attack mode,I was actually bracing in order to defend myself.

After they left I had to wonder what message this guy was tying to send to us or his family?I mean,he had a t shirt on ,many of his teeth were gone from what looked like chewing tobacco use and he hadn't even shaved!And here I am overly concerned with his opinions.Whats wrong with this picture?

I took something home that night from that experience though,and that is, I probably shouldn't be worried about guys that spend most of their lives on tractors and maybe get out once every few months to the local tasty diner.I could see that his lack of exposure truly left him clueless.So if I do run across those that just cant deal,I first try to find it in my heart to feel sorry for them and their lack of that exposure.That evening went along way in me being able to let go of what others may think,it showed me that some will never take the time to try to understand and they probably have many unsolved problems in their lives.

[joanna4]

I could see that his lack of exposure truly left him clueless.
You hit the nail on the head, pin the tail right above the butt hole, got triple 7's. That is my solution to everything including racism. Even in my populated area when I dye my hair or go out dressed up looking metrosexual.