News - Started MTF supplements today

[TonyaV]

As many of you already know, I had been very depressed lately. I had been on hiatus for about two years as was demanded by my wife. In the past, I used to consider myself CD, simply because I had opportunities to dress pretty regularly due to the nature of my business which requires me to travel weekly. However, recently, I began to realize that these feelings were a little more than the urge to put on a dress and walk around. I started feeling a "femme" trapped in me begging to get out.

I was so scared and confused. So, I started a thread discussing the dilemma I have with respect to telling my wife or not, etc... Late last night, I accepted that the male me can no longer fight with Tonya. She's gotten too strong. I decided to embrace her, and surrender to whatever her little heart desires. Instead to consulting my mind, I listened to my heart, and started my hormone therapy.

This is it folks! Wish me luck. I will keep everyone posted. I am sure progress pictures will be posted periodically.

Tonya

[drag n fly]

Hi Tonya..I feel your desire to be more feminine..I have been on spiro and estrogen for about 6 months now. I've experienced some breast growth and, I think, some reassignment of body fat (I have too much of that anyway)..I assume that's what you want..There must be quite a few people on this site in my situation..I'd also be interested in hearing some of them...Good luck, and be well..Jackie ( if that's your picture, you've got a good head start..)

[TonyaV]

Hi Tonya..I feel your desire to be more feminine..I have been on spiro and estrogen for about 6 months now. I've experienced some breast growth and, I think, some reassignment of body fat (I have too much of that anyway)..I assume that's what you want..There must be quite a few people on this site in my situation..I'd also be interested in hearing some of them...Good luck, and be well..Jackie ( if that's your picture, you've got a good head start..)

Yes - this is me. Thanks.

[Bree-asaurus]

As many of you already know, I had been very depressed lately. I had been on hiatus for about two years as was demanded by my wife. In the past, I used to consider myself CD, simply because I had opportunities to dress pretty regularly due to the nature of my business which requires me to travel weekly. However, recently, I began to realize that these feelings were a little more than the urge to put on a dress and walk around. I started feeling a "femme" trapped in me begging to get out.

I was so scared and confused. So, I started a thread discussing the dilemma I have with respect to telling my wife or not, etc... Late last night, I accepted that the male me can no longer fight with Tonya. She's gotten too strong. I decided to embrace her, and surrender to whatever her little heart desires. Instead to consulting my mind, I listened to my heart, and started my hormone therapy.

This is it folks! Wish me luck. I will keep everyone posted. I am sure progress pictures will be posted periodically.

Tonya

One thing that might help your acceptance of yourself is to stop thinking of yourself as two different people. You are one person... you are just repressing part of who you are and not expressing yourself. You're not letting "her" out, you're letting you be YOU. Whether that's a man letting himself be himself and not trying to live up to some macho standard... or maybe that's the real woman you haven't allowed yourself to express and instead put on a charade... or maybe you're somewhere in between.

[morgan51]

talk about it with friends and your wife if possible. Mine wasn't able to accept me as I am and we separated thats the hard reality of this it seems you have to be willing to loose everything near and dear. At that point some come around some remain friends only some leave and are very hurt tough decisions.... Hugs my heart goes out to you. A therapist helped me talk about shame and guilt and none if this makes you guilty of anything it just is.

[sandra-leigh]

One thing that might help your acceptance of yourself is to stop thinking of yourself as two different people.

Last week, I watched the movie TransAmerica; in one of the scenes meeting with her therapist, the main character talks about her past life in the third person, and the therapist prods her to stop doing that, for the same kind of reasons you outline above.

[JohnH]

I say you need to tell your wife. Your wife is sure to notice the body changes. In my case it was my wife that strongly suggested I go on M2F HRT in the first place!

What I have as far as breast growth may not be typical: I have B cup breasts after over a year of HRT, and there is some fat redistribution as well as a lot less hair on my chest. One thing that has not been affected is my voice - I'm still a deep bass and that is not subject to change.

You have one personality no matter how you are dressed. I personally do not like the adoption of a feminine name unless perhaps SRS has been performed. That is why I use my masculine name.

John

[Eryn]

I'm confused by your use of the word "supplements." Are you taking prescription drugs, or one of those "herbal supplements?"

[Traci Elizabeth]

I'm confused by your use of the word "supplements." Are you taking prescription drugs, or one of those "herbal supplements?"

That's the exact same question I have. No where did I hear anything about getting counseling or seeing a doctor. Nor did I hear anything about being honest with one's wife. :spank:

[Jana]

Hi Tonya, I wish you luck in your journey. I hope this decision may bring some peace to your heart.

[TonyaV]

That's the exact same question I have. No where did I hear anything about getting counseling or seeing a doctor. Nor did I hear anything about being honest with one's wife. :spank:

I am currently taking herbal supplements, with the exception of the Testosterone injections which were prescribed by the physician. I spoke with my wife, and we are getting counseling. When I started this thread, it was to get feedback, comments, and encouragement, and I am getting plenty. I was not planning to proceed, one way or another, stupidly.

I am grateful for everyone's input. No exceptions. Thanks

[Sandra]

Ummm think the t injections are gonna cancel out the herbal supplements.....which by the way can affect your health just as much as HRT.

[ArleneRaquel]

Tonya,
Best wishes darlin. I'm very afraid of anything that has to be injected into my body. HUGZ!

[TonyaV]

Ummm think the t injections are gonna cancel out the herbal supplements.....which by the way can affect your health just as much as HRT.

When my feelings resurfaced a couple of months ago, I went ahead and stopped the T-shots. My wife (she's in the medical field - scary thing - LOL) is of the opinion they're causing me what appears to be early signs of gynecomastia, as well as high blood pressure, etc. I even stopped Flomax. So I am only taking the minimum bottle-recommended doses of herbal supplements (Saw Palmetto, Fennugreek, Black Cohosh, and Soy Isoflavones).

[Tammy V]

Herbal supplements may or may not do you any good but it you are doing testosterone injections you are definately going in the wrong direction as far as feminization...

[TonyaV]

Herbal supplements may or may not do you any good but it you are doing testosterone injections you are definately going in the wrong direction as far as feminization...

I know. We actually were trying to go the other direction at the request of my wife. She thinks my condition is medical and can be fixed. In order to please her, we tried.

[whowhatwhen]

I know. We actually were trying to go the other direction at the request of my wife. She thinks my condition is medical and can be fixed. In order to please her, we tried.

Am I reading this wrong or did your wife suggest testosterone supplements to cure you of being transgender?

Still, if you feel strongly enough to take herbal supplements then maybe it's time to go through the proper channels and start supervised HRT?

[TonyaV]

Corrinne - thanks. this is exactly where I am headed. I think I ready.

[michelle2020cd]

when I am taking T, I have a strong desire to dress, but when my T- level is low, I have no desire to dress, something you need to think about

[Bree-asaurus]

when I am taking T, I have a strong desire to dress, but when my T- level is low, I have no desire to dress, something you need to think about

Well... that would depend on the reason behind wearing the cloths. If it's for excitement or sexual gratification, I'm not surprised that you'd want to dress up more with more T.

What's with people who aren't FTMs injecting testosterone?????

[morgan51]

I'd recomend a therapist, an endo ,and stop all herbals and t injections ? [talk to your dr.]untill you have medical supervision . Most of us tried all the herbals and for me it wasn't a good decision. Too risky. My desire to present female has not wavered for a long time . 58 yrs. I feel its just who I am. Good luck and be safe! M.

[Aprilrain]

when I am taking T, I have a strong desire to dress, but when my T- level is low, I have no desire to dress, something you need to think about

I never had a "desire" to dress I abhorred dressing I was compelled to do it anyway. Once I accepted myself it became a non-issue. Its always been about my body not the clothes Hormones have not changed that for me. I think this is an essential difference between a CD and a TS.

Tonya, Herbals will not do much if anything for you. Its easy enough to go to a therapist and get a letter for HRT.

[TonyaV]

I never had a "desire" to dress I abhorred dressing I was compelled to do it anyway. Once I accepted myself it became a non-issue. Its always been about my body not the clothes Hormones have not changed that for me. I think this is an essential difference between a CD and a TS.

Tonya, Herbals will not do much if anything for you. Its easy enough to go to a therapist and get a letter for HRT.

I agree. My wife and I had the discussion this morning. We will be seeing a Gender Therapist. Wish me luck girls.

[Marleena]

Tonya my wife is also a nurse. Her first thought was "T" might cure me too. It took a bit of research for her to realize that thinking was wrong. She's now okay with me on HRT because she had big problems with a low "E" count that needed an endo to correct. Forget the herbals and good luck.:)

[TonyaV]

Yep - I hear you. I am stopping all supplements, now that my condition is really out in the open and finally being discussed like it should be. I am kind of glad we're going to see the therapist, for her sake at least. I know personally, after all these years of internal turmoil and suffering, I have come to accept and embrace this "better part" of me. My wife needs proper professional guidance to better understand it.

I just hope we can make it work.

[Raquel June]

I'm kinda suspicious that the only reason you stopped taking testosterone is because your wife complained that it was feminizing you (from taking too much and your body compensating by producing estrogen and giving you gynecomastia).

Obviously you and your wife aren't on the same page with what you're doing (or trying to do), and if you were OK with taking testosterone until recently, you've got some pretty big stuff to sort out.




When my feelings resurfaced a couple of months ago, I went ahead and stopped the T-shots. My wife (she's in the medical field - scary thing - LOL) is of the opinion they're causing me what appears to be early signs of gynecomastia, as well as high blood pressure, etc. I even stopped Flomax. So I am only taking the minimum bottle-recommended doses of herbal supplements (Saw Palmetto, Fennugreek, Black Cohosh, and Soy Isoflavones).

What are you trying to accomplish? Supplements are pretty well proven to not do anything. You could triple your dosage, and you'd still get less of a benefit than going into the doctor and asking for a prescription of Propecia because you don't want your hair to fall out.

Sure, you can listen to people on here who think Fenugreek grew them a B-cup, but those tend to be middle-aged crossdressers who already have a B-cup of man boob.

Even Saw Palmetto (which was pretty widely accepted as a good thing for your prostate along the lines of Finasteride) has been clinically proven to do absolutely no good.

There have been many many studies showing that Soy Isoflavones don't have any real benefits.

And Black Cohosh is less legitimate than any of the rest of them. People say it helps with hot flashes, but that has been studied (and is still being studied) and has never been shown to have any real effects.

And, if any of that did work, the types of dosages you'd need would often be more dangerous than self-medicating with actual hormones. Because when you grid up a plant just because part of it might have estrogenic effects, you're getting a lot more than just a bogus phytoestrogen.

But, the psychological effects of HRT are the most important thing for your sanity, so if the placebo effect is making you feel better about yourself, I guess it's worth it for the price of some overpriced herbs.

[Bree-asaurus]

Glad you're getting on the right track Tonya :) Working with a therapist and/or doctor can really improve the environment in which you explore who you are and what you want.

Just be careful with your wife... make sure you take things slow with her and talk things through before making decisions without her or surprising her with anything. Hopefully she'll be understanding even though this is sure to be a big struggle for her too.

[michelle2020cd]

Well... that would depend on the reason behind wearing the cloths. If it's for excitement or sexual gratification, I'm not surprised that you'd want to dress up more with more T.

What's with people who aren't FTMs injecting testosterone?????
Originally Posted by TonyaV

When my feelings resurfaced a couple of months ago, I went ahead and stopped the T-shots. My wife (she's in the medical field - scary thing - LOL) is of the opinion they're causing me what appears to be early signs of gynecomastia, as well as high blood pressure, etc. I even stopped Flomax. So I am only taking the minimum bottle-recommended doses of herbal supplements (Saw Palmetto, Fennugreek, Black Cohosh, and Soy Isoflavones).


doctors do recomend T-shot when you have low t, it makes you feel better, gives you more energry, and no, I don't dress for the excitement or sex, but when my T-level is low, I guess my female mones kick in, and I don't want to dress up, and no I am not Trans, just a CD, I just notice she said , when she started talking T-shots , she wanted to dress more, I by no means are trying to speak for any MTF, just making a point that some people may mix up just dressing for being Trans

[TonyaV]

Originally Posted by TonyaV

When my feelings resurfaced a couple of months ago, I went ahead and stopped the T-shots. My wife (she's in the medical field - scary thing - LOL) is of the opinion they're causing me what appears to be early signs of gynecomastia, as well as high blood pressure, etc. I even stopped Flomax. So I am only taking the minimum bottle-recommended doses of herbal supplements (Saw Palmetto, Fennugreek, Black Cohosh, and Soy Isoflavones).


doctors do recomend T-shot when you have low t, it makes you feel better, gives you more energry, and no, I don't dress for the excitement or sex, but when my T-level is low, I guess my female mones kick in, and I don't want to dress up, and no I am not Trans, just a CD, I just notice she said , when she started talking T-shots , she wanted to dress more, I by no means are trying to speak for any MTF, just making a point that some people may mix up just dressing for being Trans

Exactly, Michelle. I am going through this confusing period right now, myself. Basically I used to think I was a CD. Lately my feelings appear to slide me further on the gender spectrum toward TG/TS, not quite sure yet. I wish I have the answers, but I don't. I am hoping through professional help, soon, I'll be able to figure it out.

[Inna]

Hey girl, it is all OK!

As we cope with this condition, and yes, it seems to me, it is a sort of illness we were born with out of the fact that our lives get complicated to say least. We take our time to get to the point of reckoning. Sort of jumping off point no one in their right mind wants to jump without preparation or at least some sort of psychological parachute. Well, you are standing right at the edge of the ravine looking straight down!
But the fall is, oh so freeing, for the first time in life freedom of flight towards SELF is an immensely gratifying thought.

You will get there, all my love, Inna

[TonyaV]

Hey girl, it is all OK!

As we cope with this condition, and yes, it seems to me, it is a sort of illness we were born with out of the fact that our lives get complicated to say least. We take our time to get to the point of reckoning. Sort of jumping off point no one in their right mind wants to jump without preparation or at least some sort of psychological parachute. Well, you are standing right at the edge of the ravine looking straight down!
But the fall is, oh so freeing, for the first time in life freedom of flight towards SELF is an immensely gratifying thought.

You will get there, all my love, Inna

Remember? I've been following your journey for a long time (how time flies). You know, I'll probably be knocking on your door for guidance, thoughts, and just to vent. There is so much I can learn from your journey and experience. Aren't we so grateful for the internet? Otherwise, there would be times I would wake you up in the middle of the night wanting you to listen to me crying.

You've been such as inspiration to me, sister, I love you with all my heart.

Tonya

[Traci Elizabeth]

I have an herbal cup of tea once a day. Does that count?

[LeaP]

I have an herbal cup of tea once a day. Does that count?

Yes - it probably helps you keep regular.

Other than that, not so much!

[StephanieC]

Tonya,

I truly wish you luck. Having someone in the medical field can be a help or a hindrance. It sounds like you have some challenges...but don't we all?

-stephani

[TonyaV]

Tonya,

I truly wish you luck. Having someone in the medical field can be a help or a hindrance. It sounds like you have some challenges...but don't we all?

-stephani

Totally - usually the conversation starts nice as I try help her understand how I feel, etc.. Then, her "Patient Assessment" skills start kicking in and shes begins questioning and interrogating to the point I am uncomfortable. So I'd have to remind to to please be my wife, not the therapist. It has gotten much better though. I am more relaxed around her, and she has calmed down some. She just has so many questions. I have my first appointment with the therapist next Tuesday.

And Stephanie, thank you! Hugs