Experience...lets hear it (bi)

[Victoriana]

Hey girls! :o

So I have noticed a lot of posts about sexuality and bi-curiosity. Looks like many crossdressers share a curiosity about men. Thanks to these posts I have gotten some insight but I am still not clear on the topic as I am trying to figure out how I feel about men while dressed.

That being said, those crossdressers who have explored their bisexual, bi-curious, or gay side can probably contribute the most to this post. I often times wonder how it would feel if on a date with a guy or dancing or a going to first base to all the way home run!
Can you explain your experiences that you have had on dates or intimate with a male (if this forum allows it...prob PG). Any experience you have had and how you felt during and after (regret? excited? Etc.) and if it was for you or would you have rather not tried it?

Thanks girls! Yes...another bisexual post for the bi-curious who have no idea!!!!! ::battingeyelashes:

Victoriana

[ArleneRaquel]

My Bi-experiences have run the gambit from Ho-Hum to total escasty. My first such experience, other than kissing, was when I was over 50 years of age. It was ok, I had some regrets, but as time went bye these regretful urges dissapated and I have found a new life, but IMHO unless you are already wond this way it would be better not to travel this road.

[Rogina B]

My Bi-experiences have run the gambit from Ho-Hum to total escasty. but IMHO unless you are already wond this way it would be better not to travel this road. Part of what she said! Some of us refer to it as "the dark side".. You gotta be born into it! lol

[GeminaRenee]

It's like anything else in life - if you have a curiosity about it, you really can't go wrong by trying it. Worst case scenario, you discover you don't like it... and that's that!

I've had a few. The first couple were in guy mode, with other guys in guy mode. These were mostly experiences of convenience - meaning, found someone willing, with the right equipment to satisfy my curiosities. Those experiences ranged from 'yuck' to 'hey, not bad!" Nonetheless, it was still not quite what I had hoped. This past year, I got together with a married couple while dressed as Kali. I have to say, it blew my mind - no pun intended! What that experience taught me was that it just has to be with the right guy. For me, I prefer a more effeminate guy - not terribly hairy, not at all macho. Maybe if the stars align for me, I'll meet another like-minded trans-type one of these days. I'm pretty sure that would be the right blend of masculinity and femininity for my taste. So... we'll see!

I guess it's like any sort of coupling in life - you just have to find the right combination to unlock your lock.

Maybe the most important thing to remember is that there's no shame in it, regardless of what your mother or your friends or the bible or the tooth fairy tell you!

[Beverley Sims]

When I was twenty, most of the boys accompanying me knew I was what I wasn't.
With the group we all had good fun and I always finished up with a gg at the finish of an evening.
My "boyfriend" was usually amply rewarded by going home with a GG.
One night it all went wrong and the boy thought I was a GG, I did not shatter his illusions and he wanted to date me again.
With the help of everyone in the group this poor boy never met Beverley again.
We used to joke about what might have been for a lon time afterwards.
Yes, I was a convincing looking girl.
Today not so hot! :)

[Kelly Smith]

Hey girls! :o

So I have noticed a lot of posts about sexuality and bi-curiosity. Looks like many crossdressers share a curiosity about men. Thanks to these posts I have gotten some insight but I am still not clear on the topic as I am trying to figure out how I feel about men while dressed.

Victoriana

I have no experience at all but - while en femme as Kelly - I share your curiosity.

[Beth Wilde]

I always used to think I was bi until I had my first proper meet with a guy........ Now I know for sure I am gay and never going back :D
Had a fabulous night out, treated to drinks and a meal. Looking into his lovely eyes as he charmed me, I totally fell for it and we ended up going all the way (safely of course). Woke up cradled in his arms feeling complete for the first time in my life!

Of course I am very much in the minority but very happy with what I am and what I have!

[Jenniferathome]

Looks like many crossdressers share a curiosity about men.

Sorry, but I must correct this statement. No, "many" do not. "Some" crossdressers do. Those crossdressers that do are gay or bi. There is no such thing as being a straight crossdresser AND wanting to be with men sexually or romantically. At best, it is an excuse used by those who do not want to admit that they are really gay or bi.

[AllyCDTV]

About the closest I have come has been doing some Web camming with a few guys and some crossdressers. Always had fun with the crossdressers but usually afterwards with the guys I was always like "Why did I ever do that? " LOL

[darlaj]

I have always been sexually attracted to GG's and recently, curiously so, towards other CD's. I have no desire to be with another "Man". I have never been with another CD or know if I could be, but it is an attraction here on-line. I find you gals desirable as I find GG's; does that make sense? I have been happily married for 23 years, but am facing divorce at the beginning of next year, in part to my newly rediscovered self. I have no real desire to be with anyone else but my wife right now, but have to imagine "what if?"

[I Am Paula]

DebbieL- I'm glad 12 steps is working for you. My GID led me to a wicked case of denial, and the denial led me to a wicked case of alcoholism. I firmly believed that being trans= gay. During twenty enebriated years, I made some sexual descisions I've regreted, and some I embraced. I don't at all regret the experiences I've had with men, but I did let the booze turn me in to a bit of a **** at the time. Hung over, in soggy panties, wondering if what's his name had some aweful desease is a great way to start a day.
Sixteen years sober now. Married to a wonderful woman. Renascent Center in toronto turned me around, and made me realize that a sober woman was what I really wanted to be.-Celeste

[AmandaM]

When I was 21 I went to a gay bar "to find out" if I was gay. I figured I crossdressed so maybe that's what I was. I found someone, we went home, we did it. I found out a couple of things. I can't call myself bi as I wasn't attracted to a lot of things about him. I didn't care for any manliness. I didn't like the strong body, the body hair, etc. The sex while fun at the time didn't leave me feeling jazzed afterword. Afterword, it seemed like it was really just "mechanical". I did find myself giving in and assuming the submissive role, i.e., acting like a chick in bed. So, somehow, I don't think it was a bi-experience, completely anyway, there was some crossgender motivation there. Anyway, suffice it to say, I'm not interested in going in drab to bars and picking up men, it's not for me.

[Rhonda Ann]

I have never been with a man, I have been a little curious. At the same time I really do not have any desire to be with a man. That may not make any since to anyone except me. I just love dressing up as a woman for me. I like to think I look pretty.

[psion128]

I never really had a bi experience but I had a moment of wanting to be with a friend that is bi. It never happened so nothing ever came of it. :/ Since then I haven't delved into the area of bi at all. I've been only attracted to gg only.

[Nathalie Antoinette]

I haven't been on this site that long, but have done a lot of reading of posts here since joining. It's clear from my reading, and I understand the data of the larger crossdressing population confirms this, that most of the male-to-female crossdressers on this site are straight and are attracted to women. As a gay male, I feel very much in the minority here, though warmly received. I have no desire to become a woman, and so far have not introduced crossdressing into my sex life, since most gay men want to be with a man, not a woman. I know that there are a small percentage of bi and gay men who find sex with crossdressing or TS male-to-females to be desirable. I question if you're straight when you're repeatedly electing to have sex with another man, even if that man is dressed as a woman but you're aware that this is a man, not a woman.

[GroovyChristy]

I have been with a couple of guys before, one of which is a good friend and we, um, were together multiple times. In some ways I enjoyed it more than I did with the girlfriends I've had, and in some ways I didn't. I'm not really very attracted to the male body (some guys yes, but not generally), but I loved the way I was treated. I prefer to be submissive in bed, and none of my past girlfriends really wanted to be dominant. The guys however, one in particular, did everything I wanted. Called me by my female name, held me down, called me a bad girl and all that fun stuff. :o Hope that isn't TMI. I would be much happier with a GG or T-girl who likes to be on top though.

I think it's perfectly natural and morally valid to investigate your curiosities, as long as it is done so in a safe and mutually conscientious way.

[Lynn Marie]

O hell, I flirt with everybody. Usually, I'm just "not that kind of girl"

[tanya_m]

I am bi myself. But I am drawn to a man only sexually, nothing more.
I have been with a man both in guy mode or crossdressed. Being crossdressed changes my desires and makes be more submissive.
Also I have some call them lesbian desires. To be with a GG while dressed and be submissive for her.

[kittypw GG]

. There is no such thing as being a straight crossdresser AND wanting to be with men sexually or romantically. At best, it is an excuse used by those who do not want to admit that they are really gay or bi.

I totally agree with this statement.

[tanya_m]

And I don't see the problem to admit at least to yourself that you are bisexual. It is not something to be ashamed of.

[Gypsy Sam]

"People that are bi-sexual have 2x the opportunity to get a date on Saturday Night." Woody Allen. Life's biggest challenge is finding someone as excited about having sex with you, as you are excited about having sex with them. Jay Giles wrote the lyrics "He loves her but she loves somebody else, Love Stinks ." Presently living the old married man syndrome, would probally be over whelmed with someone interested. Thank goodness the imagination is still intact, being the agressor has more negative consequences than positive to he point of if it's not ther idea forget about it.

[SAMANN]

For a lot of reasons the thought of another man touching me makes my skin crawl I could barely hug my dad who I worshipped. For me that doesn't change when I am dressed.

[tammyfb]

Hmmm, not sure if I can really find words that accurately express how I feel. When I'm in guy mode, which is most of the time, women are the only thing that builds any desire in me. I mean it just isn't the same looking at a guy as it is looking at a woman. The guy stirs nothing inside of me but a woman, be it her looks or personality or both, if I allow my thoughts to dwell on her pulls on me like nothing else. That said, when I dress as a woman, I do find myself bi-curious. Not sure why and not with the same pull I get from a woman. It's almost like having a man at that point would complete the experience somehow. I have never done anything about it and don't intend to but it is there. Is it because that is the way our culture "trains us up?" That a woman should be with a man? I have no idea and these are just some of the thoughts that run through my head when I think about such things. =) The human mind ... the human condition is a strange thing. One thing I do know, if I were born female and grew into a desirable woman (by the worlds standards) I would be in trouble all the time because I am NOT good at saying "no" and I don't like to hurt anyones feelings. =)

[Ame Anderson]

I have always been sexually attracted to GG's and recently, curiously so, towards other CD's. I have no desire to be with another "Man". I have never been with another CD or know if I could be, but it is an attraction here on-line. I find you gals desirable as I find GG's; does that make sense? I have been happily married for 23 years, but am facing divorce at the beginning of next year, in part to my newly rediscovered self. I have no real desire to be with anyone else but my wife right now, but have to imagine "what if?"
Well said,well said. I am saddened to hear of your impending divorce. And am hoping for peace on that issue.

When I first talked with my wife about CDing she said that she thought I was bi. From my help decorating the house and helping her pick out her wardrobe and even the time I take in the bathroom getting ready everyday. All my life people have thought I was a little gay, is that like sorta pregnant. Being curious in my new found freedom I have looked online and wondered how bi I might be. The fantasy is far better than the reality. Could I be with a an in femme? No I don't think so. I would more likely define myself as a lesbian.

[tanya_m]

Ame, you are very right. The fantasy is better than reality.
Even though I liked my times with a man in my head it is much better then the real thing.

[becky77]

Sorry, but I must correct this statement. No, "many" do not. "Some" crossdressers do. Those crossdressers that do are gay or bi. There is no such thing as being a straight crossdresser AND wanting to be with men sexually or romantically. At best, it is an excuse used by those who do not want to admit that they are really gay or bi.

I don't think that's true at all. It's true for you and for many others, but I have spoken to many people that have the curiosity yet remain straight. The curiosity is usually very confusing and often leads to disgust, especially in male mode. I can't believe you are on a site like this, knowing you enjoy wearing women's clothing as a straight man, but then suddenly think everything is black and white? And easily categorised. I'm very pleased you know where you stand but you can't answer for everyone.

[kenzee]

I to have to go with the leasbian side. I love everthing about women. Have no desire for anything from men. But now a beautiful trans women would be totally exceptable I think. So where does that fit in ?

[NicoleScott]

I agree with Becky (post #28). Many CD's have posted that they fantasize about men, but have never been with one. I used to chat in crossdresser chat rooms and exchange e-mails and send my pics to both women and men. It's nice to be told you're attractive. It boost the ego and validates your efforts of transforming. Some want to meet, but I've never done that. I've thought about it, that is, contemplated how much fun it could be to go on a date with a man that finds me attractive. But when sex enters the thoughts, I'm instantly jerked back to reality: I'm straight and have no sexual attraction to men.
I guess it depends on how you define "wanted to", "fantasized about", "considered", etc. We own our thoughts.
It's not appropriate to label as gay or bi a CD who has only thought about being with a man. If a man fantasizes about crossdressing but never crossdressed, is he a CD?
We don't need Thought Police.

[Cheryl T]

While I have no desire to be with a man sexually I do admit that over time I have wondered what it would be like to be on a date. I've wondered what it would be like to go to dinner, have the door held, my chair pushed in, all that sort of thing. Perhaps a little dancing (though I don't really dance at all)...just curious how it would feel.

[Ame Anderson]

While I have no desire to be with a man sexually I do admit that over time I have wondered what it would be like to be on a date. I've wondered what it would be like to go to dinner, have the door held, my chair pushed in, all that sort of thing. Perhaps a little dancing (though I don't really dance at all)...just curious how it would feel.

That would be an experience

[Maria S]

Am DEFINATELY not gay or bi. I am a one woman girl - my gg wife.

However it is nice when a man pays a compliment or holds a door open but that's more knowing that I am passing as a woman.

Maria

[Jenniferathome]

I don't think that's true at all. It's true for you and for many others, but I have spoken to many people that have the curiosity yet remain straight. The curiosity is usually very confusing and often leads to disgust, especially in male mode. I can't believe you are on a site like this, knowing you enjoy wearing women's clothing as a straight man, but then suddenly think everything is black and white? And easily categorised. I'm very pleased you know where you stand but you can't answer for everyone.

Becky, my comment was in response to this original post, "Looks like many crossdressers share a curiosity about men." My input was based on numerous threads where this same topic has been dredged up. The vast majority of those, here, who responded over time have indicated straight only. As for black and white? Straight is straight. My being a cross dresser does not make straight any less straight. My chief complaint is the categorization of "cross dressers share a curiosity about men." That is simply not true. SOME do. This is no less different than the categorization by society that "cross dressers are gay." SOME are. It may be semantics, but I think an important distinction.

[I Am Paula]

There's been so many threads on this. From just doing quick calculations, it seems the incidence of bi/homosexuality (as a percentage) seems about the same as the non CD/trans population. You see..there is something normal about us!

[danielleinbr]

I guess I am technically bi, but I lost all curiosity when I was 20 yrs old. I have never been one to put off things I was curious about. Life is too short. I learned back then that I prefer men. I love going out with and sometimes having safe sexual encounters with men that I share a mutual attraction. That is the KEY though, we have to share a mutual attraction for things to be truly wonderful. A night in chatting, having some wine, and watching a good movie is fun also. Not really much different from any other date whatever your gender preference may be. Picking up a strange guy at a bar to me is no different for a man or woman, you will probably have some regret the morning after, lol. Anyway the key is to make sure it is somebody with whom u have a mutual attraction and take things slow so you can be sure of not doing something you may regret later.
Me babbling again
Danielle

[Dawn cd]

I believe most of us are shades of grey. But even for those that are very straight, the act of putting on a dress opens a door to exploring that small percentage of our psyche that is gay...and least in our thoughts, and there's nothing wrong with that. I believe that aging also plays a role in this. As we move away from child-raising years, the sexual imperative loses its connection to procreation. The macho engine cools down and we become more neutral. Long-supressed possibilities arise in the senior years.

[becky77]

Becky, my comment was in response to this original post, "Looks like many crossdressers share a curiosity about men." My input was based on numerous threads where this same topic has been dredged up. The vast majority of those, here, who responded over time have indicated straight only. As for black and white? Straight is straight. My being a cross dresser does not make straight any less straight. My chief complaint is the categorization of "cross dressers share a curiosity about men." That is simply not true. SOME do. This is no less different than the categorization by society that "cross dressers are gay." SOME are. It may be semantics, but I think an important distinction.

I really don't think straight is straight when it comes to gender identity issues. If this was on any other forum I would probably agree with you. The title many crossdressers share a curiosity about men is true, many do and it's only a confused curiosity which often comes from very complex feelings regarding gender identity. If you don't have that then your lucky as it really can f**k your mind up. It all depends on how you interpret crossdressers, I am putting transgender in with that?

If you are talking about actually having some kind of contact or relationship with another man then your point is valid. You more or less said if you even think about it your gay or bi, which is simply untrue. Perhaps it just didn't read how you meant it?
I'm not sure why so many people are hung up on the sexuality issue anyway?

[Wanna be Heather]

You are right Becky. Once we put a dress, by definition, we desire to be women. No harm of fantasizing about an encounter with a man. Actually, we become even more selective. This does not mean gay but a shade of bi. I personally think that many CD may not mind at least a discrete encounter with no strings. At any rate, enjoy your desires and don't hold back, after all that is why we CD.

:o

[Marleena]

I actually I find these bi threads amusing only because some members remind us most CDer's are straight. Then we get "the sky is falling" posters saying that most Cder's are gay or bi. It's so predictable.

[Jenniferathome]

If you are talking about actually having some kind of contact or relationship with another man then your point is valid. ...
I'm not sure why so many people are hung up on the sexuality issue anyway?

Exactly what my reference was about. I obviously did not present it clearly enough. On the second point, I also agree. I'll never bring it up but I will swing away when I am lumped into it.

Take care

[SandraInHose]

Hmmm, not sure if I can really find words that accurately express how I feel. When I'm in guy mode, which is most of the time, women are the only thing that builds any desire in me. I mean it just isn't the same looking at a guy as it is looking at a woman. The guy stirs nothing inside of me but a woman, be it her looks or personality or both, if I allow my thoughts to dwell on her pulls on me like nothing else. That said, when I dress as a woman, I do find myself bi-curious. Not sure why and not with the same pull I get from a woman. It's almost like having a man at that point would complete the experience somehow. I have never done anything about it and don't intend to but it is there. Is it because that is the way our culture "trains us up?" That a woman should be with a man? I have no idea and these are just some of the thoughts that run through my head when I think about such things. =) The human mind ... the human condition is a strange thing. One thing I do know, if I were born female and grew into a desirable woman (by the worlds standards) I would be in trouble all the time because I am NOT good at saying "no" and I don't like to hurt anyones feelings. =)

I understand you perfectly...or at least I think I do. For me, I am ALWAYS looking at women. I am ALWAYS attracted to women ONLY. Never ever attracted to men. But, when dressed, I have a curiosity of what it would be like to be treated like a woman, and to experience things from the female side.

I'm one of those who doesn't like physical contact from men...a handshake or minimal handshake and half-hug thing, but nothing more. But when I'm dressed, I do have this fantasy of being treated like a woman... exactly the same way I have treated women over the years. Gentlemenly, but always being the initiator of physical contact. I am curious to experience what it would be like from the feminine side. To switch roles is somewhat of a fantasy/curiosity that I'll probably never actually do, but nonetheless it's still something that enters my mind occasionally.

[Jenniferathome]

.... Once we put a dress on by definition, we desire to be women.
:o

Heather, this comment is way off base. By definition, cross dressers do NOT want to be women. MtF Transsexuals do not want to be women because they wear a dress and the "typical" cross dresser is not a transsexual. Presenting as a woman and wanting to be a woman are so, so different.

Good luck on your transition.

[cathie pantyhose]

I'm definitely bi. First (and really only) experience with a gay male felt wonderful that lasted 2 years. Best part was he loved it when I dressed fem. I still love gg's and how they feel and how they make me feel especially my wife whom I've been with now for 15 years. I love every part of her body but I must admit it is great to make love to a someone with something down there. Just felt great, no other way to explain it and I hope to be able to experience it again soon someday. dressed fem or not. Sex is sex and I love it

[Roberta_C]

I'd have to say I'm Bi. When I'm in 'male' mode I'm usually only interested in women. But when 'en femme' as Roberta I'm very interested in men, but only sexually. I have been with many and have a few 'regulars' (for want of a better description) but have never had any romantic interest. Well, not so far anyway! I've had a few guys become infatuated with me (Roberta) and wanting to have an 'exclusive relationship', it's very flattering but I really wouldn't know where to go with that as I'm not a full time CD. Then on the other end I've had guys just come right out with "I want to f*ck you!"...my response? ...floored and flattered all in one!! lol So yes for me it's just about the sex...not the romance! xx

[MsJanessa]

I really don't think straight is straight when it comes to gender identity issues. If this was on any other forum I would probably agree with you. The title many crossdressers share a curiosity about men is true, many do and it's only a confused curiosity which often comes from very complex feelings regarding gender identity. If you don't have that then your lucky as it really can f**k your mind up. It all depends on how you interpret crossdressers, I am putting transgender in with that?

If you are talking about actually having some kind of contact or relationship with another man then your point is valid. You more or less said if you even think about it your gay or bi, which is simply untrue. Perhaps it just didn't read how you meant it?
I'm not sure why so many people are hung up on the sexuality issue anyway?

Many guys, even CD's, have a fear of being labeled gay---and yet many seem to be curious enough so there are many threads about it on this website. There is still a strong streak of homophobia in our culture, even in the CD community, which may explain why so many people are hung up on their sexuality.

[allesha10]

That is what I find intriguing, when in guy mode, I don't even think about men. But when dressed I often wonder if being with a man would be the test and satisfy that desire to be somewhat a woman?

[Kari B]

Yes, it's the same with me. When I dress up I would like to have a man to ravish me and fill me up and call me by my girl name and do all those things. Don't look at men that way when in guy mode. I still perve on women when out and about, these days it is to wonder if what they are wearing would suit me.

Haha.

:D

[darla_g]

wow its not like we haven't seen a thread like this at least 30 times before

[Kari B]

wow its not like we haven't seen a thread like this at least 30 times before

:P This is the first one I came across.

[darla_g]

:P This is the first one I came across.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184699-Straight-CD-vs-gay-CD-question&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?181103-Has-your-quot-bi-ness-quot-evolved&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184721-Sexuality&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?183018-I-am-really-starting-to-be-more-and-more-attracted-to-passable-CD-amp-TG.-am-I-bi&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?182555-Just-a-cd-or-a-Bi&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184619-If-you-knew-then-what-you-know-now&highlight=bisexual

and these are just the open ones that look like they are similar in topic .......

[Kari B]

Goodness me! Well, I am not going to trawl through all of those.....much!

:)

[darla_g]

Goodness me! Well, I am not going to trawl through all of those.....much!

:)True. My wife pointed that out to me. She said there is a large number of CDs that proclaim that they are hetero yet an awful lot of threads about being bi (or gay only when dressed).

[Kari B]

Well, I did have a couple of flings with a guy from school many, many moons ago. Young, naive and we pleasured each other, but that's as far as it went. I still think about that time to this day.

[MissTee]

When I'm not in a dress I want to be with my wife. When I put on a dress, I want to be with my wife. Never wanted a man.

[PertyX]

I have strong urges although I don't fancy men at all.

If I do have a bi (ok, gay) experience, I'll want to be in lingerie...

[Kari B]

If I do have a bi (ok, gay) experience, I'll want to be in lingerie...

I wouldn't have it any other way.

xo

[Girl]

When I dress up I would like to have a man to ravish me and fill me up.
Sounds wonderful! (I dress up most of the time! :))

[kittypw GG]

True. My wife pointed that out to me. She said there is a large number of CDs that proclaim that they are hetero yet an awful lot of threads about being bi (or gay only when dressed).

Exactly!!! I think the heterosexual crossdresser is probably the minority within this group.

[xxLaurenCDxx]

I too don't look at men when in guy mode but when I think about dressing up, being with a guy seems like something that I want to go with it. Don't find them attractive in the slightest but I think it's the idea of being treated like a girl that I like.

[cassexy]

well i am bi inclined, i have tried with females, but stil not with guys. hoping to correct the situation. i hope being dressed like a female will help the guys to feel and experience me as a woman

[tammyfb]

I too don't look at men when in guy mode but when I think about dressing up, being with a guy seems like something that I want to go with it. Don't find them attractive in the slightest but I think it's the idea of being treated like a girl that I like.

I have seen a bunch of posts like this one and it echos a part of my earlier post. I think, for some of us, when in girl mode, the idea of having sex with a guy somehow completes the "feminizing" process. Which is why many of us fantasize about it even if we have no intention of following through with it. I mean if you break the feminizing process down into baby steps, the start of the whole thing is the first time you dared to wear women's underwear or some other small thing. From there it grows by steps until fully dressing, using makeup, the first step out into public, first interaction with a guy, then a date with a guy, then sex with a guy. No matter where you are on the scale the further you go the more "like a traditional woman" you are acting.

Obviously there are many steps in between (for some body modification is in there as well) and we all stop at our own place. But also, for some of us I think, it is the feminizing process that drives as opposed to real sexual desire for men. Otherwise I would think I would think that I would look at a guy the same way as a woman and with the same desire and I don't. Just my 2 cents. :o

[karynspanties]

I am bi and proud of it too! I only play with men while I am enfemme. As others have stated, it has ranged from terrible to toe curling awesome. Depends on the guy.

[Marleena]

Exactly!!! I think the heterosexual crossdresser is probably the minority within this group.


As I posted earlier...so predictable.:D

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Once while listening to Dan Savage's podcast spin-off from his column, he talked about gay couples and how much more willing they are to share their kinks and such with their partners than straight couples are. His theory about this was that two gay people had already climbed over te big mountain of social stigma that was coming out as being gay, so talking about a fetish or a kink was no bg deal.

With that in mind, my theory is that the reason this topic comes up so much on this forum is not because cross dressers are any more inclined to be bi or gay than truly cis gendered men are. Rather, by virtue of the fact that we have already climbed over the big mountain that is gender bending, many of us are a lot more open to thinking about these parts of ourselves than a cis gendered man might be. Having this forum also gives an outlet to those who struggle with these thoughts and have no one to talk to about them. My belief though is that if you took a cross-section of cis gendered men that was as large as the member base on this site, and somehow found a a way to ensure they spoke with true honesty, you would find very similar percentages in regards to how they'd identify as straight, gay, bi, and "straight but..."

[missynicole]

i have thought about being with a man when dressed and have recently decided i will....not sure if i will turn out to be bi or gay but i do know that the urge has been there for a long time and that i am going to go with it....so i am looking for that man to be with missy....i will let those interested know what i feel...i guess when i really look at it too i also would be a lesbian too...i just know that i am finally ready

[Wanna be Heather]

I don't know if fantasizing about or having an encounter with a man makes a person gay or perpetual bi, it is just enjoying a fantasy. Some of us may want to feel and enjoy what a woman feel and enjoy. Actually, it is part of exploring ones sexuality and finding what make a CD happy and how far to go in the world of CDing.

Enjoy the journey girls

[Kate Simmons]

Just one thing to say. The best way to find out is to gain your own experience. How will you know if you never try?:)

[Kari B]

....i will let those interested know what i feel...

When you do, spill all the raunchy details.

:)
xo

[Cindia]

I think of it this way. The man that inhabits this body is straight. Tami, the female in here is bi, pretty much liking men and women equally. I haven't been dressed during all of my experiences with men, but in my mind I've been Tami and am always the bottom. As a whole, I know that makes me bi, so no, I'm not rationalizing.

I wouldn't say I've had any bad experiences, but some were definitely better. Some were just for sex, and some well, I was absolutely thrilled when a guy in a bar once bought me a rose. I really loved that he treated me as a straight man would treat a straight female.

As to the mini thread running through here, I think there are a lot more bi crossdressers than the totally straight ones will admit. The bi crossdressers don't show our numbers on this board, being that it is pretty much PG-13 here. Those that are mostly seeking sex don't show up here.

[Luna Nyx]

Im 100% Pan-sexual. For me I care about the person im with. Gender has nothing to do with it. If I make them feel good and I feel good then that is all that matters to me.

[CassandraSmith]

Really only interested in women as lovers; however, a domme can provide a fantasy simulation of what it's like with a male (sort of). I'm not going to say whether I've done that or not but I have this friend who has ;-)

[monalisa]

I think many of us at least fantasize about being taken by a man when we are fully dressed although many have not tried it or had the opportunity to actually experience it. Each person will make their own decision and should not worry about being categorized but just view it as part of life's wonderful experiences.

[flatlander_48]

Gee, a Bi thread that I missed...

I think there is one significant difference at work here. Without doing any statistics, I think most of the people here who believe they are bisexual came to this from a crossdressers perspective. It seems that those who realized that they were bisexual BEFORE they got into crossdressing (myself included) are a fairly small part of the population here.

So, how is that different? Like anything else, bisexuals can be aggressive or passive (ie, top or bottom). An amalgam, being versatile, is also possible. Anyway, I suspect that a male dressed as a male in any sexual experience, would tend to respond based on what his preference is (aggressive, passive, versatile). Note it is entirely possible that a male may take a more passive role with a female sex partner. However, I think that a male dressed as a female would tend to take the passive role sexually with another male. But, with a female, probably any of the three modes could happen.

If one views bisexuality only from the standpoint of being crossdressed (a male dressed as female with another male sexually), my guess is that that person would usually take the passive role.

[Dana L]

I've noticed when I'm dressed the thought of being with a man starts becoming more appealing. Although I'm srtaight and married to a wonerful understanding woman. I think it's more the thought of a man being turned on by me and being touched and carressed by him that strokes my CD ego. I mean the thought of totaly satisfying a man with my body would make me feel so much like a woman and would give me a sence of confidence in CDing.

[Laura28]

I am not sure what i am? i would have to say Bi if you were goign to classify me, I have never been with a man but have been with a few TS,s. When i have been with a TS i am always the bottom. I enjoy giving regardless if it is TS or a woman, When i am dressed i have often thought of what it would be like to be with a man i love the fantasy, However at this point i would not be comfortable dressing in front of anyone other then my wife. So am i Bi? I dont know but i guess if you look at the true defination then i am .

[GinaD]

My first time with a guy was a little awkward, but I had planned the encounter to surprise him and totally leave him with the best memory I could. At the time I had little experience with girls, and relied on what I remembered from an adult movie I had seen. I really enjoyed being his "girl" and leaving him totally satisfied. We spent most of the summer being together as much as possible and it is still my most exciting time as a "girl". After we went our own separate ways, I experienced intimacy with a few other men, with varying results any gg would recognize (some good, some bad). I had the same experience with women.

When I was married to a woman, I did dress but I didn't stray to anyone else. I completely enjoyed our intimate time together, and she always said she was satisfied with that part of our lives also. After the divorce, I was fortunate to find a man who met me as "Gina", and liked what he saw. I also met a great girl who I introduced to Gina. She isn't into being intimate with someone who looks like Gina, but was happy to be with the man I am. Today, I maintain a relationship with both of them (both personally know the other and are accepting of the arrangement), and I love to play both sides of the fence. I will always consider myself bi sexual and accept it for what it is.

[busker]

Once we put a dress, by definition, we desire to be women
:o

Heather, I'm not certain that one thing follows the other. I would say from a lot of reading here that probably a majority of cross dressers don't exactly know why they do this--there is NO original desire (if you accept them at their word), so the desire to BE a woman simply by the act of dressing cannot follow, anymore than someone putting a baseball hat on my head and by that action making me want to be Babe Ruth.
Those who say that dressing provides "stress relief" say nothing about being a woman. Those who say that dressing is a more tactile experience say nothing abut a desire to be a woman. Those who are "pleasure" dressers are certainly not claiming any female status--it is sexual.
There are some that do claim to be women in the wrong body, so then dressing would BE normal for them. Just my thoughts.

[Sue Too]

And I don't see the problem to admit at least to yourself that you are bisexual. It is not something to be ashamed of.

I totally agree.

[Dena]

I do fantasize about being with a guy.
But, I have never looked at a guy and thought "You're it!"
I'm just not attracted to guys.

[Tracii G]

For me its the personality of a person that draws me to them be it male or female.
My last guy encounter has turned into something way more than I ever expected.

[Lorileah]

:yt: Life is too short to limit your choices :yt:

[outhiking]

When I fantisize about a guy, I'm imagining myself as a complete woman, so it feels more or less hetrosexual. I don't really get anything out of fantisizing about myself as a guy with a guy, even when dressed.

[firststepnow_whynot]

me too... i know I am not gay or into guys... but when i am all dressed up, the idea of being with a guy is definitely exciting. But I have rationalized that to my desire to be a woman is so strong that my thoughts of being with a guy is a way to make me feel complete ... complete woman... confusing tho, and i have given up analyzing myself...

[flatlander_48]

me too... i know I am not gay or into guys... but when i am all dressed up, the idea of being with a guy is definitely exciting. But I have rationalized that to my desire to be a woman is so strong that my thoughts of being with a guy is a way to make me feel complete ... complete woman... confusing tho, and i have given up analyzing myself...

This is interesting. Those of us who are old enough to remember the beginnings of the Women's Movement will recall that one of the cornerstones was that a women didn't need a man in order to be complete. Fascinating...

[monalisa]

The post as always creates lots of feedback and opinions and it comes down to why do we have to label things or categorize from hetero, bi or gay. If you enjoy having sex while dressed with either sex it is up to you and your decision and shouldn't be judged or have to be labeled. I also have no interest in men except when dressed and then become curious or fantasize about how it would be like with another cd or a man. Having a few drinks and a little slow dancing and the urge to experiment might take hold. Often thought if you were blindfolded you might not know whether you are with a man or woman initially.

[flatlander_48]

The post as always creates lots of feedback and opinions and it comes down to why do we have to label things or categorize from hetero, bi or gay. If you enjoy having sex while dressed with either sex it is up to you and your decision and shouldn't be judged or have to be labeled. I also have no interest in men except when dressed and then become curious or fantasize about how it would be like with another cd or a man. Having a few drinks and a little slow dancing and the urge to experiment might take hold. Often thought if you were blindfolded you might not know whether you are with a man or woman initially.

OK, since you don't like labels, here is your homework assignment. In your message above, you used 8 descriptors for humans. Write your message WITHOUT those discriptors. Made up words do not count. Any words that you do use must be in Webster's online dictionary (www.m-w.com).

Thanks.

[Soriya]

OK, since you don't like labels, here is your homework assignment. In your message above, you used 8 descriptors for humans. Write your message WITHOUT those discriptors. Made up words do not count. Any words that you do use must be in Webster's online dictionary (www.m-w.com).

Thanks.

Was that really necessary? I mean no disrespect as that is not my intent to respond but your post seems to be loaded with sarcasm. She only stated she doesn't like labels. yea we need them in the society we live in but I think her point was directed more at how society uses labels as weapons.

If you were trying to be humorous, there is only one difference between Humor and Sarcasm, Sarcasm has a victim.

[Christinedreamer]

As I have mentioned before I have been very attracted to female impersonators or CDers who strived for a real, ladylike and definitely NOT campy or ****ty look. I have had a couple relationships that lasted for quite a while. I know I am not attractive in any way in female mode and only average when in DRAB. The first was way back in the early seventies and 'Sandy' was so ladylike and gentle it was amazing. I felt myself very strongly drawn to her but even when she was not in femme mode I still felt she was there just dressed a little differently.

I was drawn to her gentle personality and she was drawn by my voice. (I sing bass/baritone and have done voiceover work) I know that technically we had a gay relationship but I never felt as though I was with a man. Men do nothing for me at all. I still remember very fondly her soft hands and those long, REAL nails. (getting goosebumps just from the memory)

[Starr]

Well i am guess i am bi, but right now i love being a girl and being with a man.. it is a total different thing and love having someone else make decisions about things.. were to eat, etc... i love to kiss, and feel a man's hands rubbing on me.. i love do whatever i can to show him i want to please him like a girl... i take kind of a submissive or passive approach when with a man and just let things happen..

[flatlander_48]

Was that really necessary? I mean no disrespect as that is not my intent to respond but your post seems to be loaded with sarcasm. She only stated she doesn't like labels. yea we need them in the society we live in but I think her point was directed more at how society uses labels as weapons.

If you were trying to be humorous, there is only one difference between Humor and Sarcasm, Sarcasm has a victim.

You know that society at large often uses labels inappropriately and I know that, but it's funny how people use that as an excuse to absolve themselves of the whole notion. And, this is something that is quite prevalent here. Personally, I find it frustrating that it is so common. Further, it's sort of silly because that is the nature of language. If there were no labels, how could we ever refer to anything that is out of our range of vision and hearing? You've been here for a while, so I'm sure that you have seen people make these kinds of statements before. Anyway, it was intended to be thought-provoking and a possibly a challenge. Sarcasm is optional.

[ArleneRaquel]

:yt: Life is too short to limit your choices :yt:

Lori,
You are so right, but in my case I haven't been on a date with a GG since 2005 or thereabouts. We meet when I was in drab and we chatted, in a grocery store, well we finally went out, and I found her to be a terrible bigot, I won't go into details, and very ignorant. So while I agree with Lori 100% I guess that I've been limiting myself, but it is by choice.

[Buxom Fella]

I consider myself 'theoretically bi', as in my entire life, I've only actually become physically intimate with a guy ONCE, and have otherwise been (very very!) attracted and intimate with women. I'm married, so it's not really an issue (I'm not going to cheat with another woman, so why would I cheat with a guy?), but lately I have come to accept that I just sort of see EVERYONE as awesome and cool and potentially sexy, and I've been happier since then.

[Sierra228]

I had an date experience once. It is a very long story, but I feel as though I may have lost a really special experience because I was to afraid to embrace the uniqueness of the moment. It is a regret I have

[StarrOfDelite]

Sorry, but I must correct this statement. No, "many" do not. "Some" crossdressers do. Those crossdressers that do are gay or bi. There is no such thing as being a straight crossdresser AND wanting to be with men sexually or romantically. At best, it is an excuse used by those who do not want to admit that they are really gay or bi.

There are no "straight crossdressers" on this forum. If a genetically male person crossdresses and posts on a public forum devoted to transgenderism with an assumed woman's name, then it is about 99% certain that she is not"straight."

[Lorileah]

Star, that may be your opinion but it isn't correct based on what you say. Just because someone cross dresses or uses a fem name (and some here don't even do that), does not mean they are not straight....

[PaulaQ]

Yes, I agree with Lorileah. I may not be sure of much. (Is my identity male? Is it female? Some of both? How much of each? No clue.) But I am pretty sure I'm straight. I mean, I don't care if I'm not - I don't have a problem with people who are gay or bisexual - I think it is wonderful that people can find love. But best I can tell, I'm mostly pretty straight. I've thought about it a lot. It's hard not to when you begin to wonder about your gender identity. But I am really, really, really attracted to women, and I'm just not to men. Seeing a really pretty woman makes my brain turn to jello sometimes. Seeing a very handsome guy is just like "hey dude, how's it going?" No big deal.

Of course this is confusing, because I guess if I'm really a girl, then I'm not straight - I'm a lesbian. :)

This is why I don't really like labels like "gay" or "straight" so much, because they tend to be gender relative, and for some of us, that is ambiguous. (I'm literally not sure what you'd consider someone who was bigender, but only preferred one sex.) Anyway, I like girls. ;) Some of us like boys, that's OK too. Some of us love the person first, and worry about their gender later, or not at all. And that's OK by me as well. :)

[reb.femme]

.........Had a fabulous night out, treated to drinks and a meal.

Beth,

You sound like my wife! :heehee:


Rebecca

[reb.femme]

There are no "straight crossdressers" on this forum. If a genetically male person crossdresses and posts on a public forum devoted to transgenderism with an assumed woman's name, then it is about 99% certain that she is not"straight."

Puts me in the 1% then....phew!

[TeresaCD]

Star, that may be your opinion but it isn't correct based on what you say. Just because someone cross dresses or uses a fem name (and some here don't even do that), does not mean they are not straight....

Me too! One of the things I've been able to accept is that it's ok to cross dress, and be attracted to just women
For a long time I thought that cross dressing = bi/gay, now I know it doesn't have to be this way.
One benefit of knowing that we are all different..

[Marleena]

There are no "straight crossdressers" on this forum. If a genetically male person crossdresses and posts on a public forum devoted to transgenderism with an assumed woman's name, then it is about 99% certain that she is not"straight."

Oh brother.. nice thing to say on a forum where wives are looking for answers. Wrong answer.

[Jenniferathome]

There are no "straight crossdressers" on this forum. If a genetically male person crossdresses and posts on a public forum devoted to transgenderism with an assumed woman's name, then it is about 99% certain that she is not"straight."

There are Star. I am one of them. And there are many, many more. Cross dressing and heterosexuality go together like jam and bread

[Jeanna]

I actually I find these bi threads amusing only because some members remind us most CDer's are straight. Then we get "the sky is falling" posters saying that most Cder's are gay or bi. It's so predictable.

Ain't that the truth