Didn't work for me

[Michelle 51]

When I got married in my early 20s I stopped dressing for 20 yrs.Not even a pair of undies.At 40 I dressed in secret for 10 yrs then I told her.She won't talk about it,read about it or incourage it in anyway.She thinks by ignoring Michelle that I will pass through this "phase".This has been going on for 10 yrs.I ignored it for 20 yrs and it didn't go away so I don't think her ignoring will work any better but time will tell.

[Beverley Sims]

I am sorry as you know yourself you have a tough time ahead.
Just keep talking about it here and maybe something will happen.

[kimdl93]

Hi Michelle. Do you ever have a conversation about your cross dressing? It must be kinda hard to ignore completely..and I would think she might need to talk at some point.

[Stephanie47]

Sounds like the classic DADT marriage. You cannot force a wife to discuss cross dressing, let alone participate. You do not need her validation for who you are. When my wife and I were first married, we engaged in bedroom play with nighties and hosiery for me. When our son was born and we lived in a small one bedroom apartment, she asked me not to wear nighties to bed. OK! It wasn't until she found I had bought a lovely red Vanity Fair bra, that we BOTH realized there was something more than just liking the feel of the fabrics. That was in 1980! So for thirty two years, no discussion other than the early on doubts of masculinity by a woman for her husband.

Because of her non acceptance, I do not feel the need to discuss my cross dressing. We just maintain the status quo. I wouldn't beat myself to death over a wife not wanting to acknowledge it. There are many postings here of wives ending marriages and outright hostility. Yes, it can be better. But, it also can be a lot worse.

I really do not need my wife's approval to validate who I am. Do you?

[Michelle 51]

I really do not need my wife's approval to validate who I am. Do you?

Thats sorta where we're at.We've been married 38 yrs and raised a family.The children are gone and now around the house I dress as I want and on occasion go out as Michelle.She wants no part of her and I respect that and even understand it and still am a father,grandfather and guy next door to my neighbors but in my own home I refuse to be someone I'm not anymore.After working all day when I settle down for the evening I will change into a skirt etc and we leave it at that.

[kimdl93]

... in my own home I refuse to be someone I'm not anymore.After working all day when I settle down for the evening I will change into a skirt etc and we leave it at that.

In some sense, then, you have your wife's tacit acceptance if not active support, right?

[sometimes_miss]

i too quit for years at a time when solid relationships. what do you think triggered your need to return to crossdressing?