Just a few wild thoughts about..

[Wildaboutheels]

the endless mystery of WHY.

For those of you who started at a very early age...

Do you remember way back when you first started dressing, if you possibly had a better Relationship whith your mothers for whatever reason than your fathers? Maybe your dad was seldom around, hung out at the bars or with the guys on weekends or traveled the roads for business or yelled a lot or was "mean" to you and/or your mom, brothers and sisters...

Is at possible that a bad relationship with your dad at an early age was at least a CONTRIBUTING factor? Maybe some here grew up without a dad at all?

[Angela Campbell]

Not for me. I had a wonderful situation as a child. Two loving parents, a good home, sunday school, everything you would hope for. I just knew I wanted to be a girl. I started dressing before kindergarden, at around 4 or 5. I had an older brother and plenty of good male role models. I do not think it is a result of learned experiences, or situations I was in. I was simply born with this. For me it was not a product of environment.

[kimdl93]

None of these speculations about parents are even remotely close in my case. Dad was always present and mostly a positive force in the household. I remember, at my first awareness, the sense that I was different in some way,from my siblings, and remember trying on my sisters slip at around the age of four.

This is the old nature vs nurture question. The hard evidence is coming down on nature as the causative factor.

[Beverley Sims]

Playing dressup at four years old probably helped nature along.
I just liked playing with the girls, and I still do. :)

[heathr1]

I had and still have a wonderful relationship with my parents who are together.

When young, I was shy and used to stay at home a lot and would often be with mom and her female friends when they visited or we went to their houses. When conversations were about make-up, hair, womens' clothes etc. I'd be encouraged to join in.

Mom and a neoghbour also gave me their women's glossy magazines.

I guess that sparked my interest.

[cdtraveler]

I grew up in a alcoholic home. Dad was the drinker. Mom also so busy trying Make all seem fine and I believe this led to a greater need for nurture and comfort in me that neither parent could provide As a result soft things became something I strongly desired and found it in women's clothing lipstick etc.

[cdtraveler]

I grew up in a alcoholic home. Dad was the drinker. Mom also so busy trying Make all seem fine and I believe this led to a greater need for nurture and comfort in me that neither parent could provide As a result soft things became something I strongly desired and found it in women's clothing lipstick etc.

[justmetoo]

Well, my dad wasn't the greatest dad, but none of my brothers crossdress (as far as I know). Given plenty of other indicators I really believe a large part of my personality (and everyone else's) is innate, either part of our dna and partly due to our environment in the womb. I'm sure there are also things in our life that affect us as well, So, nature and nurture, not one or the other, make us who we are. :)

[CDfan]

I think it is both honestly. We have a possible different amount of hormones at birth so we are a little bit more feminine. We realize at a young age men aren't allowed to wear womens clothes so we develop a fetish. Then as we get older we realize we like womens cloths even without the fetish. The parents help determine at what age we discover this. That is my 2 cents.

[sandra-leigh]

Not here. My father was a good father; about my only disappointment in him was that he couldn't play "horsey" as long as I wanted.

He died shortly before I turned 14, but I'm pretty sure the propensity was set in me before that.

[BRANDYJ]

My father dies when I was 10 years old. My first cross dressing experience did not take place until after his death. It was the same year as I recall. I'm not sure if his death had much to do with it.

[Princess Chantal]

Not for me, as well. I had great relationships with both parents and most of the time we did things as a family. I contribute the crossdressing beginnings solely onto my curiousities of pantyhose.

[Kelley]

I had a great childhood and wonderful parents. I believe it was my 3 sisters that inspired me, 2 older 1 younger.

[Kate Simmons]

It's true that my Dad wasn't home much because he worked a lot but that had nothing to do with my CDing. It was always more about who I was as a person and the clothing, et. al. was just a vehicle to facilitate things.:)
:)

[TeriAnn]

My Mom let me wear her high heels at the age of 4 or 5 didn't dress in her clothes as they were to big. When I took a bath or shower she had washed her stockings and panties. I got the notion to try them on, Between wearing her heels and putting on her stockings is what made me know that I wanted to be a girl. I didn't know what it meant but I knew I felt different when I was dressed in my Moms under things. My dad came home early from work one day and got real angry at what I was wearing so it stopped for a long time. Now I dress when I please and feel great about myself.

[Maria 60]

Not for me when I was young I would try to walk in the same steps my dad would take. When I was in my late teens we didn't talk for a few years. The last ten years of his life we were not father and son we were more like friends. He was a great dad and I miss him a lot.

[reb.femme]

Do you remember way back when you first started dressing, if you possibly had a better Relationship whith your mothers for whatever reason than your fathers? Maybe your dad was seldom around, hung out at the bars or with the guys on weekends or traveled the roads for business or yelled a lot or was "mean" to you and/or your mom, brothers and sisters.....

Is at possible that a bad relationship with your dad at an early age was at least a CONTRIBUTING factor?

Started about age 10/11 and relationship with my mum was good then, but would have rapidly changed for the worse had she known I liked her silky items. My dad was an emotion free zone and on reflection, it would seem we kids were more of a problem in his life than a joy. He was aggressive and mean spirited but a hard working provider, .......so I'm thankful for that much, but that was his positive side in a nutshell.

I personally don't see this as a spark for my CDing though, simply access to and a love of soft materials that coincided with my hitting puberty. Could the miserable git be a contributing factor?...... I've always declared as I grew more self aware that I would be the complete emotional opposite of him, so if anyone wants to surmise that as the trigger, be my guest.

Personally, I am me and I'm happy, so I really don't tend to analyse the hows or whys unless in answer to a question like this. Not avoiding the question because it's painful, more, I simply can't be bothered. :)

Rebecca

[michelleky53]

I had both parents there and involved. No neglect or abuse by either. I just felt an attraction to stockings and panties, anything silky. I would try on stockings under the bed covers and got seen by the parents when I was in awe of a stocking display of manequin legs at a big department store in Louisville. I have always had an attraction to silky things, for as long as I can remember.

[jessicapaige]

Nope, I think I've always been closer to my Dad. My Mom is cool too though, so no "Mommy issues" either.

[Donna June]

My father wasn't around much and died when I was fairly young. I still don't see how that would make me want to dress as a girl

[Barbara Ella]

Oldest of 5 sons, youngest was a daughter. Wonderful father and mother. I think my father's closer attention to the oldest son, and his Germanic sternness worked with my innate shyness to keep me away from the dressing. As I look back, I see so many signs of what I really liked in life, through the yers, but never acted on them after my one trial with a bra and towel for hair to make shapely shadows in the bathroom. I was an admirer of the female form, draped or not, still am, but now i know why.

Barbara

[stephNE]

Nope, I started at about 5, wearing my moms panties and bras. Neither of my parents liked/nor wanted children. They were married for about 7 years before I came along - accidents do happen. Neither of them ever had time for me.

[Aloha Jayne]

My dad was always at work and when he was home didn't want to be bothered with the kids. My mom was always busy and emotionally distant. So I have a strong case for the nurture argument. However, after 50 years of analyzing my feelings I am still certain that wanting to be female was determined at birth, certainly by the age of 5 when I began admiring the pretty dresses the girls got to wear. It is different for everyone, but for me my parents were not the cause.

[Marguarite]

I had a great relationship with both parents. Does the "why" always have to be a negative.

Growing up I had a lot girl friends, I enjoyed them so much, at some point I just wanted to be "one of the girls".
It's more a matter of running to something , rather than running from something. At least that's how I look at it.

[Cynthia Anne]

I can remember at the age of four my older sister dressed me to play house a few times! Dad worked all the time so I didn't really know him until I was a teenager!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Why,

Why am i the way i am, is about being born this way,
Allso im very glad i never had a father , because of what he did or tryed to do to my Mom & then of cause myself, had he succeded i would not be here or my Mom we would have been dead. this happened over 65 years ago,

So every day is a added on for me, my Mom passed away 37 years ago,.

I was dressed by Mom as was normal for a baby for us in a lovely cream dress no dought for a year or two , then was dressed again for a end of year Church do for our people about 80 as a girl age 10 to 11, with 4 others & did a mime singing & acting , Mom was there as well. was a bit of fun. other than that i did not dress as it had no bearing on me .

We did have Moms Dad & Mom with us for about 7 years, in the same house due to major health reasons,

I was born intersexed & because of that im a female / woman. still had to grow to be where i am now,

...noeleena...

[Stephanie47]

More psycho-babble! Since the professionals cannot come to any agreement on the issue, I sure the heck don't know either. When I was young my parents were great. My interest in feminine clothing started by trying on my mother's slips which she hung in the bathroom to drip dry. At first I caressed the soft nylon material. Then I tried them on. Downhill since then. Nothing to do with nurturing or lack thereof. Come to think of it, I did not become a cop or a robber because we played cops and robbers.

[AlexisGray]

My biological father was an abusive drunk, however I stopped seeing him around the age of 6.. My mother was very much a free spirit, and into peace which I think encouraged some of my femininity(eg. she bought me dolls to play with when I was younger as that's what I wanted to play with). My step dad has been there as long as I can remember but as artistic and romantically minded as he is, he was also raised southern baptist and has very firm beliefs about certain things. So, I do think some nurture was involved, but I still haven't come out to my parents due to a certain level of judgement(and after my older brother came out of the closet I know how much). I also sympathize with the ladies who have said they were or wanted to be "one of the girls" as most of my good friends have always been female; and yet I have mostly brothers (two older, two younger) and only one sister, who is younger.
For a little while I tossed around the idea that perhaps I wanted to be a gal because my mom was supposed to have a baby girl before me, but lost the baby, and I was trying to be that for her, however I've never really wanted to be anyone but myself so I dismissed that theory.

[stacycoral]

NO, i had a great dad, and this is still a great dad, but my parents are in their 80's and i just can't tell them i a t-girl,,i wish i could but that is not way that age group believes, i started dressing at the age of 13,so i love chance to dress anytime i could. Having a sister about three years younger help too.

[Patti Remick]

Although my father was away a bit he was a good Dad and I do not blame him for my CDg. I just always liked the 'girly' clothes my sisters wore from the time I was 5 years old. Amazingly it was their clothes that I first dressed in.

Patti

[Cheryl T]

Didn't have a bad relationship with either parent while growing up. In fact it was great. Always felt loved and supported, so I don't feel my upbringing had anything to do with my dressing. I personally believe it's genetic or related to hormone balances in the womb.

[Gillian Gigs]

In a revisit of the old nature vs nurture question, I think in my case it was a bit of both. I have always found myself somewhere in the middle and could drift back and forth in my ways depending on who's company I am with. Like a Chameleon, I can fit in just about anywhere I choose. I remember it being like this from the time of being a small child. I had a strong mother who was the glue that held everything together. Dad was abit aloof not around due to work or because of his pastimes. With 2 older sisters, there was definitely a strong feminine influence in the household.

[carhill2mn]

This idea that a bad or absent father contributes to one's desire or need to CD is another of the myths put forth by people looking for the "WHY". Trying to find out "Why" is mostly a waste of time. The recent, seemingly most credible explanations are related to the development of the fetus as it reacts to stimuli that affect the brain as it is developing.

[Laura28]

I never knew my father and to this day wouldnt know if he is dead or alive. My mom was great, and i had a male influance in my life. I played all the sports as kid and loved them, had lots of male friends, but when at home i would wear my moms clothing, she never knew at least i dont think she did?? I have know idea why i liked dressing when i was young other then i liked the feel and it was erotic to me. as i grew older the feelign to dress would come and go, now as i am in my mid fiftys and the kids are grown and the wife enjoys my dressing i find the urge stronger then ever and enjoy dressing when ever i can.

[Brianne]

I think three factors contribute to my crossdressing. First my father worked nights and was a heavy drinker and we were never close. Secondly, I spent a lot of time with my mother and loved her very much. She would come home from work and take off her dress and cook dinner in her bra and slip. These weren't sexy but plain white foundation type garments. Lastly, I had a homoerotic relationship with my older cousin and once he told me "you have legs like a girl" and I wasn't offended.

[Jana]

In my case, dad was always around. In fact, I got along better with him than with mom. Yet, despite having a positive male role model in my life, I started dressing at around 6 or 7. For me it's always been a question of nature, rather than nurture. But, even then, I've given up looking for reasons why. I'll never know for sure anyway. And even if I did find the answer, it wouldn't change who I am, so... I spend my energy elsewhere! :)

[Nikki_C]

Dad was working overseas before I entered high school.

I started with my sisters tights when I was about 7 years old. Then I found my mothers yellow sheer nightie. It was my curiosity that did it and it feels so good and natural!

Although in my early teen years, I did spot a bra on my father!

[sabrinaedwards]

I think that I was born this way. I had a good relationship with both of my parents, and I doubt that either of them know about my desire to cross dress. I have both a brother and sister and I do not think that either of them know about my desires.

[suit]

no one thinks that your young mind is slightly pre programed ? like a rat ? find female, use nose. ok nylons neet and rubber is slippery and cool . but her sent, even if you have no idea you can smell...the rat can..ok and experamenting in dress up is fun....how many had at least one surprise sexual resonce in not brand new clothes first ? why?
ask that rat in the back of your brain ! logicly Mr. Spock would conclude there is missing date about some kind of relation we do not see.
and back to programing .."strike while the iron is hot" really hard to undo that program. and really the clothes are better quality , but usless in a garage!
yea we are like a heroin addidict you can never get that first high again, but you can die tring.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, I loved my mom & dad all my life.
They are both gone now but I still have great memories