Yep, more questions! :)

[Moxie]

I've just finished perusing the 'boy mode versus girl mode' photo thread and I'm suitably shocked. I never imagined the transformations would be so impressive. I now realize I must be walking among crossdressers EVERY DAY!

That said, I wanted to ask what's going on upstairs. You all look VERY DIFFERENT when dressed, and many of you are very attractive in girl mode while many are also incredibly sexy men. But...do you feel different? Are you someone else when you dress? Or are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

One more question - can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do) or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?

[AmyGaleRT]

Another interesting set of questions! I haven't done a boy-vs.-girl picture set, but I do have opinions on this subject.

My fiancee says I'm a sexy man in guy mode. I can't see it, but then, I don't have her built-in bias. :)

En femme, she says I look more feminine than she does. I'm not sure I qualify as "attractive" in that mode, but I'm trying. Some people here have liked my pictures, which helps make me happy...and there's always a nice rush from taking one of my pictures, putting it through the "ChickOrDude" app on my phone, and having it come back reading "100% feminine."

There is a mental change, a change in persona, if you will, that comes over me as Amy. It suddenly becomes natural for me to move more gracefully and deliberately. I can naturally shift into "Amy-voice," with a somewhat higher pitch and softer enunciation, and I devote more consciousness to phrasing things differently. (I rarely curse in that mode. It's not very ladylike. :) ) But my essential brainpower and memory still stays with me; I can talk about quantum physics in Amy-voice almost as easily as talking about clothes. I do become much more receptive to fetching things or performing little domestic tasks for my fiancee, too; I'm sure this prompted this little exchange last week: "Are you going to change to Amy?" "Yes." "Goody!" :)

I hope this is of some use to you...it's a learning experience for me, too. By trying to describe it and analyze it, I understand it better myself.

- Amy

[Vickie_CDTV]

Like so many facets of transvestism, it varies and depends on the individual. Some have a completely distinct persona from their male selves; some have the same persona, walk, mannerisms, voice etc. as their male self and just the outward presentation changes. I use a different voice, mannerisms and walk (I try anyway), and my female persona is different than my male persona, though not quite as distinct as it used to be.

As for feeling sexy as a man, it depends on the individual. Growing up I was always told how fat and disgusting I was, from preschool until I graduated high school, from almost everyone except my mother. As a result, it is hard for me to imagine that I am sexually attractive as a man; I might be a nice guy, good at what I do for a living and such, but I can't wrap my mind around the idea of being sexually attractive as a man. It is even a stretch for me to imagine that I am sexually attractive as a woman (I find my female presentation sexy, however.) Obviously, someone who had a different experience growing up may feel differently regardless of whether or not they are a TV.

[Foxglove]

You all look VERY DIFFERENT when dressed, and many of you are very attractive in girl mode while many are also incredibly sexy men. But...do you feel different? Are you someone else when you dress? Or are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

Do I feel different? Yes. Am I someone else when I dress? Yes and no. Am I the same person inside? Yes.

I've recently started living full-time as myself. I'm still the same person I always was. It's just that I'm now expressing a part of myself I always kept hidden. I'm still the same, I'm very different. But I feel fabulous, because I'm allowing myself to be myself. That's the real difference.


One more question - can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do)

Gosh, DM! No woman's ever said this to me before!:o :o :o



or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?

How attractive I am in guy-mode I neither know nor care. How attractive I am as a woman I don't know, but I certainly feel much better about myself.

[GabbiSophia]

I feel I am the same person just "looking" the way I feel inside. I don't see my male sexy as I really don't like that look. I am working on my female side so that I can feel good about myself. of course I am just kinda getting around to expressing myself for outward.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Some where there is a pic of Jos & myself, & if you like for all intents & purpose's as i was seen as a male,

I have not been able to put any more pics up. computers & me...

I dont have a so called male pic to compare to my female pic, because there is no difference, what you see in my avatra, is what people see every day, im no different .& im not talking about a few 100 people only .

I dont concider my self in the leage of how a female or woman should look. i mean lets be real honist here, if you could meet me youd soon see what others see, male facial features i dont wear makeup just lippy & eyebrow liner, thats it,

So who i am or who am i. im a female / male. or as you know intersexed, you allso know what iv said about myself, if i were invited to a crossdressers convention id be so embarrist to be there, let alone go. because id be so out of place in how i look or dont,

As a woman i have to give it to those who can dress in such a way to be able to pass & blend in that is those here,

I went to a do else where & was in charge of photography plus i had an off sider helping, a week end with 85 dresser's & a few trans, some i knew , & most did not, i felt out of the weekend because i did not think i was able to be like the others all dressed up. so i engrossed myself totaly in my photograpy, if i could not have done that i would have left,

There were a few other people not connected to our group who i was able to talk with so that helped,

Maybe this will explain a miner detail about myself,

I was with a group of women only for a week end & most had major issues concerning selfesteem self worth & confidence in them selfs, & some had been through abuse, the 2nd day later in the afternoon of cause we really got to know each other by then & backgrounds, one woman in front of 14 of us said .

That i was more of a woman than she was , i thought you are jokeing do you really know what your saying, as i looked at her i thought no way not posible you are... born... as a female, im not compleat as a female i lack so much . she was not talking about my looks or lacks she was talking about who i am as a person & then as a female / woman thats when it hit me yes i am a woman allways have been a female just because like some others i know are not compleat we are very much who we are as female who grow into women. i can tell you my eye's were not dry,.......

Oh dear ..... attractive,,,,, me , sorry ,no not one bit, how ever you see me, i dont see myself as attractive at all.

For me , some of us have the look & those like myself who dont , we are still female / women. just a bit different thats all.

...noeleena...

[ColleenA]

... it is hard for me to imagine that I am sexually attractive as a man; I might be a nice guy, good at what I do for a living and such, but I can't wrap my mind around the idea of being sexually attractive as a man.

This sums up quite well how I see things, but I want to add something.

I've never had a strong "feel" for what male sexiness is, at least partly since I know I don't have it. Sure, I understand that Chris Hemsworth or Johnny Depp look sexy. And it's not just Hollywood. I envy plenty of guys I encounter in daily life who have qualities such as good looks that I don't. But to me, as a heterosexual, I don't apply the notion of "sexy" to men.

And to my mind, that helps explain how I became a crossdresser. When I was 12 and coming into sexual awareness, my 18-year-old sister and her friends were hot. I thought about them a lot - as well as the good-looking girls I went to school with - but knew I had no chance at any of them. So I kind of wished I could be like my sister. I took what I found sexy and wanted to be that myself.

Yet, it's all in my head. The fantasy me, the female me, is 25, slim and beautiful. The reality me is 53 and overweight (an issue throughout most of my life) with a plain face. I only dress up at home, and I don't take pictures of myself since the camera won't capture what my imagination sees so well.

[Jana]

I love your questions and your inquisitive mind... but your screen name makes me cringe every time I see it. It's too demeaning to yourself. Can I put in for a name change for you? Please? Pretty please with sugar, honey and whatever else you like on top? :) Sorry, I know it's none of my business and off point. But I needed to get that off my chest.

Anyway, lemme get to your questions then:

1. Do you feel different [in girl mode]? Yes. I feel like I am my true self.
2. Are you somebody else when you dress? No.
3. Am I the same person inside? Yes, values, beliefs, insecurities, thoughts, dreams, it's all the same.
4. Can you see the sexy side to your male persona? Yes, I've been told by GGs that I'm a sexy man, though I don't understand why. As a woman... hmmm... I have a mirror at home and it doesn't lie. I'm not an attractive gal. I don't think I'm even cute, but oh well, that's life!

[Kate Simmons]

I only recently (within the last 3 years) began developing my male persona Hon. Until then, it was more or less always a fabricated facade to get along with family and the world. Since getting in touch with all of my feelings, I realize I can be anyone I choose to be at any given time. I will admit I'm enjoying developing my man side though. :)

[stephNE]

I dont see myself as sexy or attractive either way. These posts remind me of something I once heard Sam Kineson say"..how you can look at another mans hairy ass and find love I'll never understand" or something like that. In both boy and girl mode I feel the same inside, think the same, and even sometimes forget what I am wearing. The only exception is that as a woman, I feel happier, calmer and more relaxed. Steph.

[Lady Catherine]

I have to say that I am equally content in either mode. I feel that I am the same person with the same beliefs either way. However, my finance tells me I am much more feminine when I'm dressed as a woman. I guess I'll take her word for it.

[BRANDYJ]

I do feel different when dressed. I feel softer, more gentle, attractive, loving... and yes, even sexier. As for me being a different person, no. I am the same person in either mode of dress. It's just that some emotions get more focused or rise to the top.

Sorry OP, but please don't stop with your very good questions. Don't let a few dissenters sway you from learning and trying to understand a very hard to understand topic. Most of us don't understand it any more than you do. We all have our theories and opinions on why we have this need or desire to dress.
I appreciate your questions and your desire to learn. Your guy is very lucky to have you. And I for one am glad you are here.

[Krististeph]

I tend to do more female oriented things when dressed, but part of that is that i feel more comfortable doing so than en drab. But i am the same person. Nice, mean, sexy, nerdy, caring, aloof, smart, dense, energetic, lazy, neat, messy... But i enjoy being these things more when i'm dressed en femme.

When i do the whole routine I can pass if one does not look too hard, but i have trouble going out and being comfortable being seen as crossdressed. So no, unless I am fully dressed, i don't feel 'sexy', if I am going out.

If I'm staying in, I feel as sexy as I dress, even if there are parts that don't look terribly feminine.

[Amy Fakley]

well I for one don't take offense at your questions Ms. Mat. It sure beats another "zomg teh panties!" thread, LOL ... I kid, I kid :-)

But yeah, that's a pretty self-deprecating name ... I hope you don't feel like an actual door mat in real life.

My therapist once said this to me: "if I told you that drawer was full of rattlesnakes, you'd be terrified to open it. Belief makes all the difference."

For me, I think that's what it boils down to. Something inside my brain allows me to believe I am attractive in girl mode in a way that I simply cannot ever believe in boy mode (in spite of objective evidence to the contrary).

I do feel different in girl mode, but not like ... a different person. I don't change persona like a method actor or what have you. It's more like giving myself permission to be vulnerable if that makes sense. There's a process where by I gradually let go of all the masculine facade I've been conditioned my whole life to construct and hide behind.

It usually takes a little while too. Maybe an hour or so after I've "dropped shields" as it were, there's just a peace ... a wholeness that I can't adequately describe. In those moments, I'm authentically me ... and I like myself ... and I can believe it.

[Leslie Langford]

DM, I can't speak for the others here, but I'm getting kinda suspicious about all of the questions that you are starting to pose in your posts...

Are you sure that you aren't some university graduate student writing a paper (or maybe even a thesis?) on crossdressers and/or transgendered people, and are trolling here for information?

Then again, the more information that we supply, the more questions you seem ask, and maybe you are developing a fascination with this topic even if your basic instincts struggle with this, as you have likely been conditioned socially all your life to be averse to this type of thing. Seems to me that we have already provided you with all of the information you need to better equip you to accept your husband's crossdressing inclinations (assuming that your story is actually true), yet now you are branching out into other areas such as apparently developing a fascination with transformation pictures of other crossdressers.

Clearly, you have recognized by now that most of the crossdressers here are starved for female attention and acceptance and just love to talk about themselves the minute that they find someone sympathetic to their situation, so it is no surprise that the floodgates of responses open up each time you pose new questions. Little did you realize when you first began posting here how much the other members would start to fawn all over you given half a chance, and maybe you are starting to enjoy all this attention and adulation yourself - especially if you are not getting this from your husband who seems to be too wrapped up in himself and his female persona.

Don't get me wrong - I am not criticising any of this, and all of us have our own particular deep-seated reasons for being here. Most of this has to do with being in a place where we can openly interact with kindred spirits and be free to be ourselves. You have those same rights, and assuming that you really are a GG married to a crossdresser looking for answers and ways to be more accepting, then you are especially welcome here.

Just be upfront about your real motives, as I, for one, am starting to question them...

[Bree Wagner]

I may express different parts of myself a bit more strongly when dressed but I don't really feel different. It's still me and there aren't two of me. :D

And can I see the sexy side of my male persona? Damn straight I can. I am a sexy beast! That comes easy and naturally. :heehee:

Now, looking sexy as a woman... that's damn near impossible and I'm not sure I've ever got there.

-Bree

[Amy R Lynn]

I agree, good question! Keep em coming.

I have been told that I am good looking in guy mode. Like most others in this thread, I don't see it though. But I am also biased towards finding women sexy. I have never thought of a man as sexy. I think there are some good looking guys out there. I can certainly distinguish the good looking guys from the toads. But I have never seen them as sexy. With that being said though, I do find myself more sexy when I am dressed. I think that goes back to the point of, I find women sexy. So... Yeah I like how I feel, look, and smell when dressed. I would dress more often and in public if it were more socially acceptable.

When I am dressed, I don't think my personality changes much at all. I've always had a feminine personality. I am sensitive, and wear my heart on my sleeve. I care about helping others, and love mothering kids. I think the mothering part comes from the fact that I am a single father (Mom is far removed from the picture), and have to fill both roles. I LOVE it though. I get the joy of playing both parts. Fits right into my cross dressing personality.

I don't dress in front of my kids. They have no idea about this, and won't for a while.

[Amy Fakley]

Clearly, you have recognized by now that most of the crossdressers here are starved for female attention and acceptance and just love to talk about themselves the minute that they find someone sympathetic to their situation, so it is no surprise that the floodgates of responses open up each time you pose new questions.

... you know ... either that, or we live most of our lives unable to talk about these things, and when someone asks an interesting question in a safe environment, we take the opportunity to talk frankly and openly.

Good grief. I'm not starved for female attention. I work from home, my wife is a stay at home mom, and I have two teenaged daughters. I couldn't get more female attention if I tried. Jeez ... I really don't think that's what's happening around here, but maybe I'm just the oddball.

[Sarasometimes]

I haven't participated in boy to girl pics but I wil answer your questions. When I'm dressed to a point where I think I blend I feel fullfilled in a different way. I have no interest in changing my gender, I just want others to know I have a fem side, so when I'm dressed I get to let that part of me be seen. Some may say that there are other ways to do that but I haven't found one yet.
As far as thinking I'm sexy, I have a wife so I guess she at least thinks so.

[xdressed]

I definitely feel different in femme mode. Some people intentionally put on female mannerisms but for me it just comes naturally once I'm dressed up, I don't even notice it as half the time people have had to point it out to me. I remember when I was dressed for a comic con I was going to one of my house mates said 'you even stand like a woman' and I was thinking 'but this is just how I stand'. Now that I've had the chance to go out dressed a few times I've realized that I don't actually feel dramatically different, I just feel normal, kinda of how I feel when I don't dress because I don't feel like it at the time. I think I'm more or less the same person inside though, because although I look and move very differently I don't really change the way I talk or what I talk about that much, although I do swear a bit less most of the time, and I'm more generally upbeat and energetic.

How I feel about my appearance in either mode depends on my mood really, the better I feel the more I can see the attractiveness in myself, but I don't spend much time thinking about it in general. I guess in terms of attractiveness I'd rate my female self higher most of the time, but I don't really know what qualifies as attractive in a guy generally anyway.

[linda allen]

I've just finished perusing the 'boy mode versus girl mode' photo thread and I'm suitably shocked. I never imagined the transformations would be so impressive. I now realize I must be walking among crossdressers EVERY DAY!

That said, I wanted to ask what's going on upstairs. You all look VERY DIFFERENT when dressed, and many of you are very attractive in girl mode while many are also incredibly sexy men. But...do you feel different? Are you someone else when you dress? Or are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

One more question - can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do) or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?

I'm damn sexy as a male! :heehee:

Bringing my crossdressing into the open with my wife and her acceptance of it relieved a lot of stress and has made me a much more calm and polite person that I was in the past, but I don't think just the act of strapping on a bra and forms realy changes me inside.

I find myself going to lunch with my wife and her friends and joining the conversation, helping more with the housework, holding doors for others, etc. since "coming out" to her.

And just because the subject came up even though it wasn't part of your original post, I am a straight male crossdresser, nothing more. Nothing strange going on in the womb.

[May(be)]

speaking strictly for myself, I feel the same in any mode that I present in because I don't think that if I I am schizophrenic with my identities. not that there is anything wrong with having dual personalities, it's just not the way I feel.

also, to your second question, I feel like I am attractive either mode. I guess I have a very strong sense of self esteem. However, I feel sexier and girl mode. A fact that my wife and I both lament, but can do nothing about.

I would also like to point out that my wife attributes part of the reason that I cross dress to the idea that I don't find myself attractive as a man. that is not the case though.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I've just finished perusing the 'boy mode versus girl mode' photo thread and I'm suitably shocked. I never imagined the transformations would be so impressive. I now realize I must be walking among crossdressers EVERY DAY!

That said, I wanted to ask what's going on upstairs. You all look VERY DIFFERENT when dressed, and many of you are very attractive in girl mode while many are also incredibly sexy men. But...do you feel different? Are you someone else when you dress? Or are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

One more question - can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do) or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?Hi Doormat, (any thoughts on changing that name? ) One thing to keep in mind as you read our answers, is that there are many different reasons that we do this, and it can be very difficult for us to really grasp what those reasons are. Your comment on being an attractive man rang a bell with me. I used to be pretty much just a fetish dresser, because of that, I've developed a strong liking for the feel and comfort of female clothing and fabrics, and a strong dislike, of male equivalents. ( Seriously, get a pair of nice seamless panties, then compare them with a typical pair of mens boxers ) As I got older, there were self image issues, and looking at myself in smooth sleek stuff made me feel better. At first, I wasn't imagining myself as a woman, then I began to fantasize what I could look like. These days, in particular since I hooked up with my awesome GF, I am coming to realise that as a late bloomer, I'm actually pretty good looking as a male. When I'm staying at my GF's place, I usually change into a skirt, as I find it nice to be able to express myself this way, and I find a sense of rebelion within myself. Why can't I wear a skirt? What's the problem? Doesn't it cover the appropriate bits? What's wrong with showing off my legs in a nice pair of smooth stockings? Who decided that men can't display their bodies?

To answer your question, no, I don't feel like a different person, just me, but somewhat more comfortable. If I did dress fully, I still don't think a different persona would emerge.

[Melissa_59]

But...do you feel different? Are you someone else when you dress? Or are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

I can't really describe how I feel. I feel different but I can't really explain "how" it's different.



One more question - can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do) or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?

Um, no woman has ever told me that I'm sexy. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have the sex appeal of a sack of pregnant walruses that have been slathered in Poligrip.

It's ok though. You have to accept yourself for who you are, and I have other qualities that are good.

~Melissa

[Jill]

I want to first echo what Jana said, I think you should change your user name. I would humbly ask you to reconsider it as well, you may not think you are better than that, but you are. I also want to say that you should feel free to ask as many questions as you want, I can't speak for everyone, but I for one am more than happy to spread awareness about our lifestyle. Feel free to private message me too if you want to ask questions.

1. Do you feel different [in girl mode]? Yes, I feel a bit more energetic and fun. I don't see it as being my true self because I thin our true selves are extremely dynamic, my male and female sides making a complete picture.
2. Are you somebody else when you dress? No.
3. Am I the same person inside? Yes, most definitely.
4. Can you see the sexy side to your male persona? Though I don't really consider myself to be an "attractive male," I do think that being male has it's own swagger that is fun. It's not quite as fun as the sexy energy that comes with being female but there are definitely days where I really enjoy the male energy a lot. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I love and enjoy both male and female energies, it's fun being both, it's fun shopping in the entire store.

[Barbara Ella]

As you can see, there are as many answers as there are members here. I hope the answers really help you to understand. I lived my life, the first 65 years as a male with no conscious thought of crossdressing. With my shyness and low self esteem, I never let myself think I was sexy, or even attractive, although thankfully, the girls thought I was. Over the past 14 months the thoughts have been running at me like a train. When i began, it was just to have a feeling of inner peace, and in no way to be feminine. That gradually changed to the point where it was necessary to fully express enfemme to have the same inner peace. It has progressed to the point where it no longer gives me the feeling of inner peace, it just feels normal. At 66 now, there is no male sexy left (by comparison). The younger woman who comes out isn't sexy, just comfortable.

Barbara

[~Joanne~]

DM, I can't speak for the others here, but I'm getting kinda suspicious about all of the questions that you are starting to pose in your posts...

Are you sure that you aren't some university graduate student writing a paper (or maybe even a thesis?) on crossdressers and/or transgendered people, and are trolling here for information?

Then again, the more information that we supply, the more questions you seem ask, and maybe you are developing a fascination with this topic even if your basic instincts struggle with this, as you have likely been conditioned socially all your life to be averse to this type of thing. Seems to me that we have already provided you with all of the information you need to better equip you to accept your husband's crossdressing inclinations (assuming that your story is actually true), yet now you are branching out into other areas such as apparently developing a fascination with transformation pictures of other crossdressers.

Clearly, you have recognized by now that most of the crossdressers here are starved for female attention and acceptance and just love to talk about themselves the minute that they find someone sympathetic to their situation, so it is no surprise that the floodgates of responses open up each time you pose new questions. Little did you realize when you first began posting here how much the other members would start to fawn all over you given half a chance, and maybe you are starting to enjoy all this attention and adulation yourself - especially if you are not getting this from your husband who seems to be too wrapped up in himself and his female persona.

Don't get me wrong - I am not criticising any of this, and all of us have our own particular deep-seated reasons for being here. Most of this has to do with being in a place where we can openly interact with kindred spirits and be free to be ourselves. You have those same rights, and assuming that you really are a GG married to a crossdresser looking for answers and ways to be more accepting, then you are especially welcome here.

Just be upfront about your real motives, as I, for one, am starting to question them...

I am with Leslie on this one. I try to take most posts and such here at face value but something just doesn't seem right with all of this at this point. Too many really "aimed" questions and very bold statements have had me wondering the same.

As a GG that is against Her SO's dressing, and may never accept let alone support such, I am really hoping we are both wrong and that maybe, just maybe, you might be trying to get a better understanding to accept all of this a little better.

Just in case, I will answer your questions....

do you feel different?

No

Are you someone else when you dress?

No

are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

Yes


can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do) or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?

Both, so says my SO.

[ReineD]

My SO hasn't logged in here in almost 2 years, but I know how s/he feels about this so I'll share it.

His/her personality, thought patterns, and mannerisms do not change, whether dressed as a girl or boy, although s/he feels more feminine internally when dressed as a girl and more masculine when dressed as a boy. S/he dislikes body hair (feels it is ugly) in both modes. He used to feel that he was not attractive in guy mode, but in recent years he has discovered that GGs find him quite attractive, so I'm hoping that his male self-image is improving. :)

I think that s/he feels s/he is more attractive in girl mode (while I find her equally attractive in both modes) ... besides, she can wear the jewelry, shoes, and clothes that she likes in girl mode, that he can't wear as a guy, although s/he knows that a preference for the clothes is not what this is all about.

[kimdl93]

Alas, I'm not one of those remarkably attractive individuals, but I'll hazard a guess and say that many of us probably have similar feelings. I am not a different person when dressed...I'm me. That said, I feel much more myself when I'm dressed. I can honestly say that I don't see a sexy persona in either presentation. Basically, I cringe whenever I see myself , male or female mode.

[Debra Russell]

''It usually takes a little while too. Maybe an hour or so after I've "dropped shields" as it were, there's just a peace ... a wholeness that I can't adequately describe. In those moments, I'm authentically me ... and I like myself ... and I can believe it."

My wife thinks I have a sexy male side - I had the physical attrabutes as a body builder but that's not her big attraction - not sure what is - as Debra I try to look attractive but don't equate that with looking sexy - just me......................Debra

[Stephanie47]

Thankfully, you did not ask that tiresome question of why we (I) cross dress! I'm sick of it!

However, I realize I am 65. My male personna was developed long ago. If you saw a picture of me when I got married, you'd see a six foot one guy with a thirty inch waist. I wore a 38 Tall suit. I had wavy thick blond hair. I was lean. I won't say I was the ideal male. I leave that do the women to assess, especially the sweet woman I married. Yes, women found me attractive. And, I had my passes by gay males, usually when I was minding my own business commuting on the subway.

I use to take pictures on occasion en femme. And, I'd say that attractiveness did transcend into my feminine mode.

As a senior I am still an attractive male. I'd say that because my wife still sees me as attractive, even though my hair has thinned. I have not shrunk, still six foot even. I have not become sloppy. I never was sloppy with the male 'pregnant' look.

You ask, what's cooking upstairs. Do I only feel attractive in one mode. No, I feel attractive in either mode. I know that shows in the marketplace. Women looking for a guy usually go trolling in the grocery store. I've been rammed with a shopping cart many times!

I feel happy in either mode-NOW! I had a very stressful job. My entire career was meeting and greeting people, who did not want to see me. No helpful Hanna here! Couple that with a lot of residual stress from being an Nam infantryman, you can get the picture there is an element of escapism in my head. Yes, slipping into a dress an heels and everything else with it, makes me feel like a different person. I know I am the same person, just acting in a different mode.

I know what you mean when you mention seeing the 'girls' on this site. i notice it too. I do not need a boy-girl comparison. I see it in their smile and eyes, the attributes God gave us to express ourselves. You do not see that in a woman or a man in drag who uses femininity as a business, i.e., a woman or pseudo woman of the evening or a drag queen. You see that smile and glimmer in the eyes because of the sheer internal happiness and well being acting out brings to us (me).

Thanks for your interest. You can see we (I) are not deviants, but, normal guys.

[Jenniferathome]

...That said, I wanted to ask what's going on upstairs. But...do you feel different? Are you someone else when you dress? Or are you the same person inside, despite this impressive external change?

One more question - can you see the sexy side to your male persona (like I do) or do you only think you're attractive as a woman?

Hi DM, I do feel different when I am dressed but not entirely "unlike" my male self. The one area for me where I have the most noticeable change of feeling is that I actually feel attractive. I've never really felt that way as a man (my wife assures me that I am attractive). I have always had attractive girlfriends and so I think I must pass muster. Still, when I am dressed, I actually spend time looking at myself. And I do think the face looking back is attractive. This is a big difference between men and women. Even when I shave, I really don't look at myself. It's just a job that has to get done. But when I am putting on eyeliner or mascara, you really have to look objectively at the work and make sure it is balanced. All aspects of the makeup transformation are really different than anything a guy goes through. For me, the transformation is part of the "fun."

[Moxie]

[QUOTE=Leslie Langford;3032494]DM, I can't speak for the others here, but I'm getting kinda suspicious about all of the questions that you are starting to pose in your posts... [QUOTE]

Ha, I WISH I was doing something as interesting as writing a paper. I'll admit, since delving into my H's pastime I've moved completely away from why and am thoroughly enjoying all the other elements. Sorry but this is just what I'm like. I take a topic and devour it until I know everything there is to know and THEN I decide how I feel about it. I've always been this way and yes, it drives my H mad. He can't handle any further questions from me in this area anymore, as he put it "saying the same thing over and over".

But that's how I work!!

So sorry if i seem suspicious. My other forum I frequent (separate board altogether) is just for CD wives and I'll be honest, it's a great place to whinge about all this and we do this well! It's certainly not a place for CDer to go for positiv feedback but it's nice for a wife whose a little fed up with the endless happy stories too. Not all of us like this side of our H's. So I come here and ask the questions I daren't ask either the other wives or my husband. I'm certain soon I won't need to come here at all as, like I said, once I've chewed on something long enough I get over it and either decide I can live with it or move on.

Yes, some of us girls have busy minds too. I actually find it sort of funny that I've not just driven my husband up the wall with my questions, but you guys too!! Think I'll have to mention this to the therapist!

Anyway, thanks to those who have been tolerating my process. You have helped ALOT! I really never imagined I would reach a point where I actually admired looking at photos of men crossdressing when only a few weeks ago I was horrified! I still can't do any more than DADT with my H though as for some reason I have a huge mental block there. But it really helped to see the 'man' side in those photos as somehow it made everyone here seem more...real?

And if anyone wants to suggest a new name I'm all ears. I started here feeling every bit like a doormat but now I doubt anyone in my house/life would dare wipe their feet on me! Knowledge is definitely power, for me at least, and I'm feeling much stronger. For those who have helped me get here, thank you. You know who you are :) I promise you won't have to put up with me much longer!

Now...I'm of to whinge on my other forum! lol (actually, I may just be a little ray of sunshine for a change!)

[Foxglove]

And if anyone wants to suggest a new name I'm all ears.

I suggested one before--"Red Carpet"--and you ignored it. I'm really hurt. Or if you like "Magic Carpet", that sounds OK to me.

Annabelle

[MssHyde]

sometimes the clothes make the person, we should dress for the occasion. I want to be handsome as a man and attractive as a woman. (wear makeup in both modes)

I would love to be able to shape shift, or have a magic wand.

sometimes we want what we can't have. I just don't like the drab guy stuff. (fine for work)

women get the soft clothes, the cute outfits, the sexy shoes, fancy jewelry, make-up to enhance their looks a great deal, make-up makes a persons eyes look exciting.

I love women's perfume, the lipstick, playing with long hair. the shapely body, the soft voice, I love it all.

[Moxie]

I suggested one before--"Red Carpet"--and you ignored it. I'm really hurt. Or if you like "Magic Carpet", that sounds OK to me.

Annabelle

Annabelle, you DID suggest one, (busy minds also forget easily!) and given all the help you've given I'll gladly accept Red Carpet. Magic Carpet makes me feel I should be taking something stronger than ibuprofen for my headaches. lol

Now to figure out how to change a profile name...

If course, I'll do this and finally decide I've bothered you all enough and move on with my life. Though, I promise to ask one inane, suspicious question as Red Carpet, for old times sake :)

[Lorileah]

Because Lori attracts more people (male and female) she is a more social butterfly who has way more confidence and charisma than the man she portrays on a daily basis. Yes I do feel different because popularity increases. But the change is probably more that the male part is the fake.

When I wanted to be attractive to women (in my teens and 20's) it seemed they didn't care much for the scrawny gangly nerd. Now, I seem to be quite a catch and women pay a lot more attention to the educated, professional, handsome male. But too late...he is now more attached to his female side.

I still see the guy who was shot down more than the victims of the Red Baron and I Believe that the feminine side of me is a lot more attractive.

[Moxie]

Sorry OP, but please don't stop with your very good questions. Don't let a few dissenters sway you from learning and trying to understand a very hard to understand topic. Most of us don't understand it any more than you do. We all have our theories and opinions on why we have this need or desire to dress.
I appreciate your questions and your desire to learn. Your guy is very lucky to have you. And I for one am glad you are here.

Thank you Brandy :) I actually had a little sniffle over your kind words. It's hard not to word things wrong with a keyboard. I can only write my questions as is, with none of the emotion and tears and exasperation my H sees. Probably why he doesn't answer any more!

But kind people like you have really helped me move forward and understand better and I'm incredibly grateful for this help.

[Jenniferathome]

He can't handle any further questions from me in this area anymore, as he put it "saying the same thing over and over".

... So I come here and ask the questions I daren't ask either the other wives or my husband.... I still can't do any more than DADT with my H though as for some reason I have a huge mental block there.

Hey DM, I want to respond to just these few thoughts: 1) can't talk to your husband any more and 2) DADT. Both of these are bad. DADT never works and he OWES it to you to talk.

and you have come a long way in a very short time. You remind me of Silent Partner. Best of luck

[kendra_gurl]

InquisitiveMind would be a great name change. seems to really fit you more then DoorMat

[BRANDYJ]

[QUOTE=Leslie Langford;3032494]DM, I can't speak for the others here, but I'm getting kinda suspicious about all of the questions that you are starting to pose in your posts... [QUOTE]

Ha, I WISH I was doing something as interesting as writing a paper. I'll admit, since delving into my H's pastime I've moved completely away from why and am thoroughly enjoying all the other elements. Sorry but this is just what I'm like. I take a topic and devour it until I know everything there is to know and THEN I decide how I feel about it. I've always been this way and yes, it drives my H mad. He can't handle any further questions from me in this area anymore, as he put it "saying the same thing over and over".

But that's how I work!!

So sorry if i seem suspicious. My other forum I frequent (separate board altogether) is just for CD wives and I'll be honest, it's a great place to whinge about all this and we do this well! It's certainly not a place for CDer to go for positiv feedback but it's nice for a wife whose a little fed up with the endless happy stories too. Not all of us like this side of our H's. So I come here and ask the questions I daren't ask either the other wives or my husband. I'm certain soon I won't need to come here at all as, like I said, once I've chewed on something long enough I get over it and either decide I can live with it or move on.

Yes, some of us girls have busy minds too. I actually find it sort of funny that I've not just driven my husband up the wall with my questions, but you guys too!! Think I'll have to mention this to the therapist!

Anyway, thanks to those who have been tolerating my process. You have helped ALOT! I really never imagined I would reach a point where I actually admired looking at photos of men crossdressing when only a few weeks ago I was horrified! I still can't do any more than DADT with my H though as for some reason I have a huge mental block there. But it really helped to see the 'man' side in those photos as somehow it made everyone here seem more...real?

And if anyone wants to suggest a new name I'm all ears. I started here feeling every bit like a doormat but now I doubt anyone in my house/life would dare wipe their feet on me! Knowledge is definitely power, for me at least, and I'm feeling much stronger. For those who have helped me get here, thank you. You know who you are :) I promise you won't have to put up with me much longer!

Now...I'm of to whinge on my other forum! lol (actually, I may just be a little ray of sunshine for a change!)

Go here and simply post a name change from a Mod in the link I added. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?6-Forum-Issues-Help-amp-News

And a couple of names I'd suggest is WonderWife. Or the Ywife to keep it shorter.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I feel different when I am presenting as a woman. I also prefer how I look when I am en femme vs as a male. Since I am attracted women and not men I do not see my male self as being particularily attractive.

[Miriam-J]

Oh, inquisitive one ... I really appreciate your questions and interest. My wife has always been so accepting right from the start that she kinda skipped that step. I actually trigger more of the questions than she would ask on her own. It's good that you're also using the material you gather here for a dialogue with your SO. Now in response to this batch of questions ...

I do try to look quite different when dressed so that I can survive in the outside world without undue intrusiveness from others, but I seriously doubt that I'm attractive as a girl. If nothing else, I still have the broad shoulders and height of a typical guy, and there's not much that I can do about it. On the other hand, I need a wig to cover my nearly bald dome so I can appear a good deal younger than my 52 years in some ways - though I try to dress appropriately for my age.

I only have one me, and really have no idea who 'Miriam' is. My mind works the same and I have the same interests, though it's easier to indulge some (such as shopping for makeup) when in 'gal' more. However, there are some subtle differences, like I find some comfort when dressing in feminine clothes - especially important to remember when I'm stressed out.

Sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. I've neither tall nor dark, though perhaps handsome in a way - at least my wife thinks so. But I communicate about a wider range of topics than most men (including many of interest to women), emote more freely than most guys, and empathize much better than most men. Perhaps this is an outgrowth of my 'feminine side', and it certainly seems to make me more attractive to many. As a total package I seem to do all right, and I'm quite comfortable in my own skin since accepting and embracing this side of me.

Keep asking away. Your issues help to enlighten us all.

Miriam

[Lorileah]

DM, I can't speak for the others here, but I'm getting kinda suspicious about all of the questions that you are starting to pose in your posts...

Are you sure that you aren't some university graduate student writing a paper (or maybe even a thesis?) on crossdressers and/or transgendered people, and are trolling here for information?


and so what? I personally would welcome the chance to have a research person elicit our responses on something and then publish an academic paper.

It bothers me that so many here keep begging for GG's to try and "understand" and then when someone wants to understand so many get defensive.

Two things now, if you don't like the questions, move along. No one would care if you answer or not. Why? Because you are just a small part of this forum and easily not missed

The other? If this was a way for someone to attempt to get information for any type of academic or other paper, they way the information was gathered would put the results in the "nice opinion piece but not scientifically valid" category and most likely it would not be published in any peer reviewed journal no matter the slant the author put on it. DM cannot use what you write as a "quote" other than attributing it to your screen name (which is available to anyone who happens by because this forum is open to all).

So GGs! Ask away! You won't learn any other way.

[BRANDYJ]

and so what? I personally would welcome the chance to have a research person elicit our responses on something and then publish an academic paper.

It bothers me that so many here keep begging for GG's to try and "understand" and then when someone wants to understand so many get defensive.



Two things now, if you don't like the questions, move along. No one would care if you answer or not. Why? Because you are just a small part of this forum and easily not missed

The other? If this was a way for someone to attempt to get information for any type of academic or other paper, they way the information was gathered would put the results in the "nice opinion piece but not scientifically valid" category and most likely it would not be published in any peer reviewed journal no matter the slant the author put on it. DM cannot use what you write as a "quote" other than attributing it to your screen name (which is available to anyone who happens by because this forum is open to all).

So GGs! Ask away! You won't learn any other way.

:thumbsup::thumbsup:

I agree completely Lorileah. But I usually do agree with common sense and you always seem to use that part of your brain.

[Kathi Lake]

I'm glad I look very different when dressed - especially as I have been quite near those that know me. Also, that is part of the fun for me. I still can't get over how much difference in my appearance a bit of padding and paint can do. It is a fun 'art form' for me. As I can't even draw a stick figure without messing it up. Dressing is about my only creative outlet. :)

As for the 'sexy' question, that's a bit trickier. I am unabashedly heterosexual. As a result, I would feel uncomfortable if a guy found me attractive. If he found me sexy, I would be concerned - mostly for his mental and/or visual impairments. :)

I am not the type that dresses provocatively. In fact, I think my style is more on the "skinny, boring librarian with no taste" side. The one time I tried it, this is what it looked like (the soft focus was unintentional, but worked out for the best):


http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=87634&d=1241217275

Your question on do I find myself sexy as a male is a bit harder to answer as I am not sure what women look for or qualify as sexy. I am trim (OK, fine - emaciated), fit, have all my teeth, try to take excellent care of myself, and my wife seems to think I'm good enough. Heck, she's stayed with me for over 23 years, and I doubt it's for my conversational skills. :)

Do I feel different when dressed? Not really. I am me whether I dress in jeans and a t-shirt or a skirt and pumps. To me, the clothes aren't magical or props. They're just clothes. Fun and pretty clothes, to be sure, but just clothes.

Kathi

[Vickie_CDTV]

I agree with Brandy, I am glad you are here and are willing to ask the tough questions and I wish more SOs were willing to talk to us. As far as I am concerned, ask anything you want, as long as one is sincere they will never offend me.

I have been around a fairly long time, and I have met wives like DoorMat. I get it. From her questions right down to her name, I get it. I mean, I can't really understand how she feels inside, but I understand where she is coming from. Plenty of wives feel the same way, but are afraid to talk to us. Sometimes they are afraid of being piled on because they worry they might offend us. Frankly, I'd much rather wives like her come here and talk to us, and ask the tough questions. It is good to ask the tough questions, it is good to question everything, it is good to make us think and challenge ourselves.

In any trans support group, you always cut the wives a wide berth and have extraordinary patience with them. The wives who show up are there because they want to understand their husband and support him, as difficult as it may be. They don't have to be there. They could just stay home and fill themselves with resentment. They may be frustrated, scared and/or angry, and may very well have reason to be. Cut them some slack, and show them the same patience that we would want if the situation were reversed.

[Soriya]

Well, I was going to suggest a couple names but I like Red carpet and Inquisitive Mind.

DM, I posted answers to this exact question in the Addiction or Disposition thread. We have spoke and I hope you can see my mind works just like yours. Heck, I forget simple things to because of how busy my mind is LOL! Oh and pleeaaaaaasssssseeee don't stop posting here, you deep questions are refreshing to see here.:)

Anyway, in short:

This was a big questions for me, why I felt beautiful dressed as Soriya but didn't in my male side. If I didn't have a mind like yours I could have easily used CD'ing as an addiction. Here are a couple basic comparison between the two sides I noticed with myself.

Soriya:
I like what I see in the mirror and more so in pictures/video
I believe the compliments other CD's said that I am beautiful, look great, etc. etc.

Male side:
Don't like what I see in the mirror or pictures. Won't even look at a video of me.
I always receive compliments from women about my looks (male). Good looking, handsome, great body, awesome eyes, etc etc. But I never believe them. I defaulted to 'They are just saying that to be nice"

Instead of running with CD'ing to feel the things I didn't about my male side, I asked myself the deeper questions of why I don't feel that about my male side. Like your husband, I already knew I wasn't TS. I simple knew I didn't like myself overall and needed to know why.

In a nutshell: I didn't always dislike myself and everything about me. I was a happy child. It started and continued on for most of my life mainly from all the bullying I endured as a teenager. I was always smaller then everyone else, looked like a 7th grader in 11 grade, glasses, skinny, yea, the epitome of 'Geek" looking. Didn't matter when I finally hit my growth spurt and grew 3 more inches after high school, worked out and was around 200 pounds of solid muscle at 5'8''. I always felt and saw the little kid with glasses on the inside no matter how I changed on the outside.

So there you have it, I learned to hate myself because of how others made me feel by bullying me in every way imaginable. This has been changing dramatically for me as I have been working through everything in my past thus CD'ing has become a non event at the moment and will never be an 'urge' feeling again.

Just to give you a visual, this is basically what I looked like through most of high school.

http://www.founditemclothing.com/itgoesto11/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/corey-haim-lucas-212x300.jpg

No thats not me, that's Corey Heim from the 80's movie Lucas. I looked very similar.

[justmetoo]

Count me in as one who appreciates your thoughtful inquistiveness. With knowledge hopefully comes understanding. :)

As for your questions - I haven't posted any pics of me in drab and only a few in drag, so I know you aren't talking about me personally.
I don't feel like a different person in girl mode. Like my user name says, I'm just me, because I'm expressing me.
I have no clue about whether anyone would consider me "sexy" or atractive in any way in male mode or girl mode. I do seriously doubt anyone would, since no one ever evidenced any such interest. I do know I never seem to attract any attention in male mode. And as I am only interested in women when it comes to romance I would not want to attract any interest from males in any mode.

[kristinacd55]

I feel sexy both ways.....but the same person in either mode

[Ms. Laura]

I can say I definitely am the same person. I do feel free, when dressed, to express those mannerisms that I check most of the time.

I can feel sexy as a man. I'm not the best looking guy, but I can fill out a suit pretty well! I can work it for my wife too, you know jeans and no shirt, or she digs the mechanic look, black t-shirt and some grease. :)

Dressed though, I feel sexier, though I know I'm not. I feel more uplifted an uninhibited as well. The worst part is seeing yourself as you would like to be, but cannot.

Great questions!

[AllyCDTV]

Door, once I learned how to do makeup, I too was shocked at how different it could make me look. If I had the slightest thought that I could be recognized, I would never have shown my face on pictures on the Internet.

As far as being someone else when I am dressed, no I am not. Ally is a part of me but I never "become" Ally. It is not like having a split personality and I am fully aware of who I am at all times when I am crossdressed. I feel that crossdressing simply gives me the opportunity to do and experience things I wouldn't do in guy mode. This is much like I wouldn't use a circular saw without safety goggles.

I keep myself in good shape physically so as far as my physique in guy mode goes, I do think I'm attractive to women. As far as my face goes though, meh.

[ReineD]

Anyway, thanks to those who have been tolerating my process. You have helped ALOT! I really never imagined I would reach a point where I actually admired looking at photos of men crossdressing when only a few weeks ago I was horrified! I still can't do any more than DADT with my H though as for some reason I have a huge mental block there. But it really helped to see the 'man' side in those photos as somehow it made everyone here seem more...real?

When I am learning about a political issue, I make it a point to read thoroughly both sides of an issue and I also read independent opinions based on fact and not political ideology. And I ask a lot of questions. THEN I make up my mind. :)

Same holds true for the CDing. I would not want a CDer who is having issues with a non-accepting, non-understanding wife, to go to a forum where he is told that she is a bitch and he should leave her. I think he'll be happier in the long run if he comes here and interacts with GGs and with other CDers who have worked it out with their SOs so that he can approach his wife compassionately. Same holds true for the wives. In my opinion, they are not doing themselves or their marriages any favors by hanging out with other wives who are sorely against this and who might well be misinformed about some things, especially if their opinions are based on resentment or anger.

And this is why I think this forum is so wonderful for struggling couples. There are accepting and non-accepting GGs here, pink-fog and non-pink-fog CDers, and the general consensus is pretty balanced. :)