Judge not others lest ye yourself be judged

[audreyinalbany]

Like many males in our society I've been conditioned to impossibly high standards of female beauty. Thus, I'll see an attractive woman from a distance and immediately think hot desirable she is (or how desirable it would be to present that way), but, as i get closer, I start picking out the defects, whatever they may be; wrinkles, big nose, little nose, weak chin, double chin,whatever. My point is, I was playing around with some self photos this afternoon, and caught myself thinking, "hmmm, the further away from the camera I am, the better i look. The up close shots show all the lines and wrinkles and the bad skin. I was actually thinking at one point that I'm so homely I ought to just give up crossdressing. LOL. I guess my point is that the irony of it finally struck me: I'm just as guilty judging myself as I am of judging others

[Beverley Sims]

I need an out of focus camera to hide all the faults I pick out.
It is very hard to stand the closeup look.
We all do better at a distance.
I judge myself too harshly as well.
I prefer not to let my guard down or the quality of my presentation slip. :)

[MsRenee]

Ive done the same thing and have been caught by my girl saying that I was critiquing her for the bad when I shouldn't be judgemental cause you never know whos doing to you. So now I just look to look at styles.
Renee

[audreyinalbany]

I"m probably preachin' to the choir here, but, although I'd never have the audacity to think that I make a good looking woman, IN THE MIRROR, I'm at least "okay." Maybe a D+, C-. Boy, on camera though, I'm downright scary.

[Gillian Gigs]

I"m probably preachin' to the choir here, but, although I'd never have the audacity to think that I make a good looking woman, IN THE MIRROR, I'm at least "okay." Maybe a D+, C-. Boy, on camera though, I'm downright scary.

Your just looking at the mirror with rose colored glasses on.... and also through a pink fog. LOL Maybe cameras don't lie the way that a mirror can!

[Wildaboutheels]

"Attractiveness" is a pretty cut and dry thing... as we approach others.

Up to about 50 feet... where mannerisms, facial expression, body language and most importantly what MIGHT come out of someoone's mouth can greatly add to or detract from the "attractiveness" IMO.

Even all the supermodels have various flaws. The airbrush folks never get the credit they deserve.

[sissystephanie]

My late wife could turn me a darn good looking woman, but that was then and this is now!! She passed away 7 years ago and now I go out dressed like a woman but looking like the man that I am. I still look at GG's though! Not to find faults, just to appreciate them and their clothes!!

[Kate Simmons]

I have no problem being critiqued Hon. I've earned each and every wrinkle I have. :battingeyelashes::)

[Kaz]

Like many males in our society I've been conditioned to impossibly high standards of female beauty.

This worries me a lot as there are implications in the reverse... i.e. women have been conditioned to impossibly high standards of masculinity?

We do not have to be 'conditioned'... the pressure to conform to a standard is an artificial construct. i am so glad that this is not a problem for me. I can see people as individuals in their own right, regardless of class, creed, race, gender...etc... maybe I am lucky.

Now... off the hobby horse, yeah... up close we suck!

[Barbara Ella]

I find that in any GG I watch there are several, if not many, attributes that I admire, regardless of what the overall picture might be, and i focus on those. Just like with music, I can pick out the bass line, or drums, or keyboard, and follow, and appreciate just that one element, and enjoy the overall experience. I guess I am the same way about myself. At 66, I am way beyond having a good overall picture, but from time to time I find one element that came across well that day, and that makes me happy. And that is really what it is all about, what can you find that gives you a moment of happiness. It is difficult to judge happiness, it is just felt.

Barbara

[kendra_gurl]

From across the street looking into my house after dark if the lights are off I look absolutely amazing.

Suggestion: when taking photos of yourself just smear a little vasaline on the camara lens and everything will be fine.

[sometimes_miss]

As an automobile enthusiast, we have terms that describe the state of concours our cars reach. Such as, a '10 foot paint job' which means it looks great from 10 feet away. So, that said, I'm a quarter mile nighttime crossdresser; I can look good as a girl in the dark, a quarter mile away. But as you approach, it becomes more and more apparent that what you're seeing is a six foot four, 260 pound, linebacker bodied, guy in a dress, long wig, and heels.

[Lynn Marie]

It's funny how the judgeing thing keeps rearing it's ugly head. I know the scripture, I know the logic, and I know it's the truth. And I keep falling into that silly trap. Oh well, maybe one of these days I'll learn.

[noeleena]

Hi,

This applys to me, im one of those women who did not come with the blessing of haveing a female or womans face, , point blank i dont look like a female or a woman for that matter, close up im just too male looking, every other detail is pretty good &more so for my age 65. other wise im quite happy as i am.

Some of my friends have said to me as woman not all of us come with the female facial features as i dont, yet should that stop us from being real women no. not at all. other wise we would be so ashamed to even allow any one to look at us or see us,
We need to remember we dont all look alike in all details .

As you know im a very public person so im looked at in more detail i meet a lot of people with in our groups & soc im involved in, & in the larger community, i see other women i just dont compare my self to or with them. i dont think i would so love to be like them i dont because i am my own person how ever im seen so its a matter of i am who i am & cant change that, so get on with life & be accepted the way i am & for who i am .

Some times we need to look beyond the i dont look quite right, its about acceptance & that is how i see it & hopefully others do as well. though it does open doors for me that would never have been opened had i been given female facial features so even with advantanges i do have disadvantages as well .

...noeleena...

[Sandra1746]

A few weeks ago my wife and I were shopping in a local mall. She was checking out and overheard one GG ask another where the dressing room was. The second GG indicated a direction and said, "...over there beyond that woman by the rack of jeans". My wife glanced in the direction and noticed that "that woman" was me.

My long hair, jewelery and "plain Fem" attire seem to be relatively passable at a distance of 20' and a quick glance. My wife and I both got a chuckle out of that incident. I guess I can claim to pass at 20'.

Be happy,
Sandra1746

[linda allen]

........... Suggestion: when taking photos of yourself just smear a little vasaline on the camara lens and everything will be fine.

You can do that with photo editing software without messing up your camera. :heehee:

But seriously, take a cold hard look at the photos and learn from them. Learn that by smiling and showing some teeth, you will look a lot more like a woman. Learn that maybe your breasts are too high or you need some hip and butt padding. Learn that you should stand with your feet closer together. Use the camera as a learning tool.

[kimdl93]

I often judge myself quite harshly, and I recall that during my first marriage - at a time when we were moving rather rapidly apart - I was viewing my wife in a simlarly harsh manner. Totally erroneous in both cases. What colors our perspectives may vary. When I look at myself, I see the flaws, because for so much of my life I viewed myself as flawed. When I looked at my ex, those years ago, my perspective was colored by frustrations with myself and with her. She was and is still a very lovely lady. Some how, I stopped seeing that for a time. It still makes me sad.