sometimes I just want to talk to someone

[vanphair]

Does anyone else find it frustrating not to have someone they can talk to about their desires or wants related to dressing? I'm dying to have long, open, honest chats about clothing, especially lingerie, but I feel like there is no one to talk to. Yes I understand that's what this is board is about and it can be a great outlet, but I wish I know some people - GG or otherwise - who I could email or chat with about anything like "you know why I love matching my bras and panties?" or "I love a great charmeuse ruffled blouse".

*sigh* sorry if that sounded whiny

[Kaz]

Doesn't sound whiny to me... I share the problem and yes, that is what this site is about!

[sissystephanie]

As a long time Crossdresser who is a retired widower, I would also love to have someone to talk to about crossdressing. My late wife knew and was very supportive. The 2 children that I have also know, but don't want to talk about it or see it!! If you want to talk more send me a PM with a phone number that I can call!!

[audreyinalbany]

yeah i Think many, if not most of us, especially those of us in a DADT relationship yearn for social contact. As Stephen Burt, a Harvard professor who is transgendered wrote,
"I want a social space in which I can wear a skirt and tights and be seen as a woman, if not as a girl. I want a space where I might be addressed as “Stephanie.” I don’t want that space to take over the rest of my life"
Clothes are really a cultural phenomenon; they require a society to determine appropriateness, to designate clothing as either 'masculine' or 'feminine' So it's natural for us, as cross dressers, to want to express this aspect of ourselves in a social setting. I have friends (a couple) who know about Audrey, although they've never met 'her' in real life. But nevertheless I feel safe sharing photos and stories with them on line simply because I can.

[Diversity]

You're not alone in this and you don't sound whiny at all to me. I use this forum for this very thing (and it meets my needs at this time), but I do understand that you want more than what you are getting here. Perhaps the best solution is to meet another CD'r in your area with whom you can converse and have some face-to-face meetings and outings together. Maybe there is a local chapter for CD'rs and TG's in your area. I'd suggest looking into this. Hopefully this will be of some help to you. Good luck!
Di

[AllieSF]

One way to satisfy your need is to try to network from this site and any others that you may visit to find local Tgroups and/or individuals with whom you can establish some type of relationship. It takes time but people get into relationships, and I am not talking about good and intimate types, but just friendships related to some common interest. It took me a couple of years, but I now have a lot of good friends who also dress and are fun to go out with. Keep looking and more importantly, keep networking and it could also work for you. Good luck.

[suchacutie]

Not whiny at all! Those of us fortunate enough to have supportive spouses know just how terrific it is to engage in just these kinds of conversations. Without a supportive spouse, networking is so important! We need to talk a lot, especially since we didn't have those first 20 years of growing up as a girl to fall back upon!

[Beverley Sims]

Keep asking questions and starting threads. The information will eventually flow back to you.
As you make friends and some will PM you because of a specific interest you will find that your time is taken up communicating with everybody.

[ruthie801]

omg it's so madding at times being alone

[NicoleScott]

Those of us who are pre-internet crossdressers know what it's like to feel really alone.

[jennifer1958]

I feel the same; I would love to go out for a coffee or drink (in Maine) with another cd and talk about our joys of dressing.

Jennifer

[Melissa73]

yeah! ive longed to talk about my dressing, and talk about the great shopping deals i get! now that my wife/roommate knows, i can talk to her, but she gets tired of it.....(though she still listens) cuz she cant quite understand why i just talk and talk and talk. Sometimes, she doesn't quite understand why im so scared about going outside.... her beleive is, "who care what others say?

But i long to make friends who share my same interest in dressing!

[MistyCD]

Amen to that !!!


Those of us who are pre-internet crossdressers know what it's like to feel really alone.

[NathalieX66]

I joined a couple of support groups in the east coast US, went to a couple of transgender conferences like Keystone Conference in Pennsylvania ( Lol! Transvestite in Transsexual Transylvaniaaaaaah! you know, that song from RHPS) , and Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, Georgia, and came to the conclusion that I'm just an ordinary person that has a girl side.

[Janine cd]

I agree with Nicole. Those of us who lived before there was any support from groups like this lived in a very lonely world. there was a time when I thought that I had to be the only disfunctional human being on earth because of my desire to act and dress like a woman.

[Ms. Laura]

I absolutely share your feelings. My wife knows and accepts but isn't interested in talking. Honestly, she doesn't want to talk about fashion with anyone, let alone me. (Though she does consult me when choosing outfits for herself :)

It is hard to feel so isolated, all of the time. This site is a wonderful place for us, not the same as an "in person" friend, but you can make friends here.

[kristinacd55]

Well....you reached out and poof magic there are others out there just like you! What an awesome thing it is!

[Laurie A]

that's why the internet invented pms and ims! i'm sure you can find some friends here to connect with.

[Kimberlyfaye]

I know how you feel. This place has helped me alot. If you need to chat anytime by all means send me a message :)

[MeganHenry]

I joined a couple of support groups in the east coast US, went to a couple of transgender conferences like Keystone Conference in Pennsylvania ( Lol! Transvestite in Transsexual Transylvaniaaaaaah! you know, that song from RHPS) , and Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, Georgia, and came to the conclusion that I'm just an ordinary person that has a girl side.

I like what you said! I feel similar...it's so easy, feels right and I can just be myself when I'm dressed. I'm much more comfortable that way. :)

[annecwesley]

I feel the same; I would love to go out for a coffee or drink (in Maine) with another cd and talk about our joys of dressing.

Jennifer

Well let's do it sometime! (in Maine).

[Claire Cook]

This is why I come out to (and go out with) GG friends. I love to talk about clothes with them, or just do "girl talk", and they seem to enjoy it as well. SA's in stores can be a great help, especially in consignment shops (maybe they are less concerned with commissions?). They have great suggestions for girls with broad shoulders and narrow hips.

[Erica Marie]

Oh trust me I feel the same way. Every day I think to myself, should I tell my kids, should I tell mom (dad passed away recently). I have told one friend, I needed to get it off my chest and she accepted it very openly. But I know being from a small rather conservative town many others would not accept it. So it is very difficult finding just the right person to tell that will accept.

[STACY B]

You will notice that lots of Girls here want to talk to each other but cannot for the simple fact if there spouse might think ill of it ? But what they don't get is they can talk to other people about everyday things . We can't ,,Another reason is we have a false sense of reality on here from the pictures we post . If you call another member on the phone ,,Just saying they gave out the number ,,You would think of a female voice on the other line right ? But that's not true because we are not female an only a few have the voice down ,,Seems to last on the list ? But talking to someone is great ,, But you gotta get past that Matcho crap you built up all these years an some are not willing to do that . An if they are deep in the closet they really won't . But after 100s of times going to the stores an just being me after the first Shock effect most SAs will know you an know what your there for . But as far as getting some one to call you or call them Good Luck ,, We are a Spooky Bunch ,, An for good reason ,,The older girls can tell you the real truth . Not long ago this was a No- No ,, An some places still is ,,, Thank God not where I live !! But then again I consider myself a Pioneer an will lead the way ,,,,,,,,, Charge !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SandraInHose]

Not so much ME needing someone to talk to (although that would be nice on occasion), but my wife had the hardest time when she learned of my CD'ing because she literally had NOBODY she could entrust with this secret. She usually would blow off steam with her sister or mother, but not in this case. Steering her to CD sites helped, but although it helped in many ways, it also opened up a can of worms with some of the other, more far-out things she'd see on those sites. It was hard enough to understand my little portion of this world, let alone reading about guys in wedding dresses and wearing maxi-pads and other more extreme things. I had to convince her that not all of us want to become women, take hormones, turn gay (old misconceptions never die), etc. While I have no issue with those who may want to 'go the distance', I had to demonstrate that I was content just to wear hosiery and heels, for the most part, and that my genitalia isn't going anywhere!

[AimeeG]

Absolutely! The irony here is that when I'm dressed as "B" I am vey quiet and reserved wit the exception of a couple of people or a bit of alcohol. Bring Aimee around and I'll talk all day long...Meals definitely take longer.

[DanielleT]

I can so identify with the need to talk with someone that can truly understand and relate. To that end, I would like to invite any woman that reads this post and wants to chat more informally, share experiences, just talk about things to drop me at note at laurelm1050@hotmail.com

[terrydvs]

I agree with your comments and wish people were more understanding and accepting.

[Vanessa5]

As of late I too wish to talk and make more acquiantaces with like minded people. Being in a DADT relationship does nothing for me. Can't ask how this skirt looks on me or how a blouse fits.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There might be a trans group in your area, if you google your location and "transgender group" you might be able to find one (maybe.) There you could meet others to ask about dressing etc.

[NicoleScott]

It may not be very satisfying to just get into a conversation with another crossdresser. We are a vastly diverse group. It might be that the one - and only - thing we have in common is that we're men wearing women's clothing (it's the MtoF CD forum). We're each a unique mix of why, when, where, and how we dress. Finding someone for intimate discussions might not be easy.
I haven't chatted in AOL chat rooms in a very long time (10+ years?), but have recollections of some very good, long, intimate, honest discussions about aspects of crossdressing that I shared with that nameless, faceless person on the other end. The internet allows for a lot of dishonesty, but also for some very honest revelations that might be impossible without its anonimity. I have always wondered what makes me tick (still do), and talking to others like me helps me to understand a little better. At least it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. I like this forum, but it's not the same as private conversations.
But not every crossdresser is a good chat match. I can't relate very well to a crossdresser who has a strong internal feminine identity, wants to blend unnoticably in public, wants to dress as close to 24/7 as possible, and feels like a woman inside. I'm a part-time pleasure dressure, a man who likes to make up dress occasionally, with certain things that arouse me, and prefer to stay home dressed and made up over-the-top than to go out and not be noticed. What in the world would we talk about that might help each other understand ourselves?
I could be mistaken but my first impression tells me that someone that wants to talk about lingerie probably has a "thing" for lingerie, maybe even a fetish. Nothing wrong with that. I have fetishes, but not for lingerie. I don't think every crossdresser would be a good chat match. I wear pantyhose, for example, but they are just part of the transformation wardrobe. I like them, they feel good, but they have no special magical powers for me, as they certainly do for others. I'm afraid I would have little for a conversation. But make that high heels, or fake eyelashes, or lipstick, and I could talk for hours with a similarly-minded person, discussing everything about why, where, when, and how we do what we do.
I have had a crossdressing mini-bucket list. Not all major things. Many things on the list were acquiring certaiin things I desired, like a cheongsam, sailor uniform, maid's uniform, certain shoes, wigs, a corset, etc. I also wanted to go into a tg-friendly club en femme. The one thiing I haven't done is to meet, preferably on a somewhat regular basis, a small (3-4) group of other crossdressers, for conversation, companionship, and maybe even outings. But the more I realized how vastly different we are, the more I realized how difficult would be to find like-minded crossdressers. I did everything else on the list, so I'm good with that.
I hope you can find someone to share thoughts with.