Big step...

[Jessicaa]

So, I am not new to these forums, I have joined with previous accounts many years back but i have always considered myself as a crossdresser until i have realized.

I am a transexual.

in the past six months i came to realize that my crossdressing was always more then "Just a fetish" or "A phase", this has been ongoing throughout my entire life, It has turned into a more beautiful and normal thing, And i have fully accepted this into my new life. I now know that this has been my destiny all along I just couldn't figure it out until now. And I am so glad that I have realized this at an early age!

However, I have a HUGE dilemma! the only person who knows about my crossdressing is my father and we never mention it to each other anymore. And, I know that the first step to coming out and beginning to reclaim my life is telling all of my family and friends about this, but its just so difficult, I dont want to hurt them. And on top of this I joined the military, I wanted to "Cure" myself by trying to become more "manly", like I tried all throughout my high school sports career. So i dont even know where to begin with that, But i do know that it is extremely frowned upon.

Please help me and give me tips! I am ready to begin this journey!!

[Saffron]

Being at the start you may find there's too much to be done that almost feel impossible.

What you need to do is separate each step and go one by one.

You don't need to tell this to everybody, go slowly, just the people you want to tell.

Trying to "cure" it isn't going to work, I've been there.

Look for a good therapist and take your time, don't rush things.

A lot of more experienced TS will surely give you better info.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm confused, Jessica. You're so young, don't go out dressed, aren't really out to anyone except MAYBE your dad, and r in the military. How did u suddenly decide you're TS? Isn't it possible that you're NOT sure? Because of your hesitancy to make the leap? I would wait until your service term is up, THEN decide what to do!

At your age, I didn't know which way was up!

[Traci Elizabeth]

Go to your commanding officer or E-9 and tell him/her you are a woman. Or better yet, show up is woman's clothes and makeup for added effect and I promise you tomorrow your problems will be solved. Well, the military ones at any rate. :)

[Jorja]

There are a few girls here with current or recent military service and they can better inform you of what the procedure is now days. Hopefully, they will pop in before too long. Before comming out to everyone I would highly recommend that you seek out a gender therapist in your area. They can help you make sure you are in fact TS. Remember, once it is out there, it is out. You can't take it back. Also I would go to http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html and read through the entire site before making any big decisions. Good Luck.

[ColleenA]

I second Jorja's comment: Get thee to a gender therapist. Self-diagnosis is a major part of the process for anyone, but it is far from adequate by itself. The waters of gender identity are incredibly murky and need to go through many filters before you can be sure they have been purified.

If self-diagnosis was sufficient, then I would notify Sam Walton's kids that I was his illegitimate child and am thus entitled to my share of the Wal-Mart empire.

I'm not saying you are wrong in your realization, Jessica, but so many states are close to or overlap with elements of transsexuality that you need to take the time to properly get a handle on who you are and where you are going.

[Danika140]

I would avoid telling your chain of command completely unless you know it will somehow work out in your favor. Depending on which branch you joined (I assume Army), you could catch a lot of hell for coming out, with no clear end in sight. It will get harder before it gets easier being in the military but now that you're in, I would strongly suggest sticking it out for your first term and use this time to really search your soul and determine who you really are. If you reach the end of your term and you know without a shadow of a doubt that you are meant to serve, then re-up and continue down that path. If you reach the end and you really can't think of or see yourself as anything other than being a woman, then get out and transition. You can then use the VA to assist in your transition like so many of us are now doing.

The military is not a kind and gentle beast. It will use you and abuse you. I am on my 5th deployment in 7 years and I am simply burnt out from it all. Whatever you decide, try to keep a positive attitude through it all.

[ChelseaErtel]

I third Jorga's comments. Also, seek professional guidance. They can confirm your gender and you will need two confirmations from two different professionals to get anything done. TS Roadmap is excellent.

[Andinera]

Coming out while in the military probably isn't the best idea. Your fellow members will likely five you hell more often than not and it will fade over time but not enough. Unless your showing signs if depression and suicidal tendencies, your CO and other supervisors will tell you to suck it up and carry on. It'd be best to leave things as they are until the end of your term.