I am concerned that some think I'm an imposter.

[WIFE GG/SO]

I read in another thread that someone thinks I'm an imposter. I promise you, I am not. I'm a 50 something, overweight, worried wife of a CD'er. I am plagued by fears that this CD'ing will accelerate. I came here to see what I could do to be a more accepting wife and what I could do to understand this better.

Part of me feels like I have failed as a woman also, that he needs this outlet.

BUT, I don't want to be where I am not wanted. Why someone would pretend to be a wife of a CD'er is beyond me. It's not like you can't read the posts anyway without participating.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I came to you all looking for help. There must be other CD sites that are more accepting of us "outsiders".

Di

[JohnnieCD]

hopefully you have learned from the wealth of information here that no one blames their wife for them wanting to crossdress!

[ClosetED]

Di, please don't. As many have said, you will get varied opinions here. I think the issues you have brought up and the posts that followed are very valuable. Don't let one person's fears force you to do what you feel is the right thing. That is wrong on so many levels!

[linda allen]

Don't leave because of what one or two people have posted. Internet forums bring out the "jerk" in some people. They act like they wouldn't dare to in person. Stick around, there are some pretty caring people here.

[MsRenee]

Dont let one person determine you leaving . There is more good here than you can know . we all grow off of each others knowledge here. There is no way on this planet thats its your fault about him wanting to dress and you have not failed him. Shes very lucky to have you there wanting to learn more. Please stick around hun as we can all help each other. If someones givin you issues just report them. They have thier own issues if there saying that to you.
Hugs
Renee

[Karren H]

That is a shame....... I've left here a number of times because of what people said..... or did..... but I realized that they were idiots and I really don't give a rats ass what they said.... Take what anyone says here with a grain of salt..... at best you can learn something or teach something..... at worst.... its cheap entertainment!

[Laura912]

Would strongly encourage you to stay. It is human nature that we can get thousands of compliments, but one negative will send us off into a downward spiral. Also, realize that there are those here that are so guarded that they look askance at everything.

[JohnnieCD]

Don't leave because of what one or two people have posted. Internet forums bring out the "jerk" in some people. They act like they wouldn't dare to in person. Stick around, there are some pretty caring people here.

I'll go back in closet...i haven't any friends and if you speak your mind you are called a jerk..

[Barbra P]

Leaving is your choice but prior to this thread you started three threads and received well over one-hundred responses, the vast majority of them friendly and supportive. Every forum, and I mean every last forum regardless of the subject matter, has its 10%. The ten-percent is a Marine Corps term, it means that in any group of people there are approximately 10% who just can’t seem to get with the program, and seem intent on alienating or ruining things for the other 90%. For years I was pretty heavily into photography and my forum of choice always had a few members always eager to stir up trouble, argue about trivial choice of words, accuse new members of being Trolls if they didn’t like their initial posts; this site is no different. Many forums allow you to ignore posts from individual members, as far as I know there is no way to do that on this forum, and that may actually be for the good. I’ve been unhappy, possibly even offended, by someone’s reply and had I selected to ignore that person altogether I would have later missed postings that completely changed my mind about them.
My point is, don’t let one post persuade you, ignore that post and concentrate on all the others here that are willing to help you. Also keep in mind that forums are very different from talking with a group of people face-to-face and with no facial-expressions or body-language it all too easy to misinterpret what someone posts. I’m not saying this particular offending post was humorous or sarcastic but those are two emotions that can be very difficult to convey in a post and someone reading the post may completely miss the humor and take offense.

[kimdl93]

Dear Di,

there are a lot of people here - and its entirely possible that some may have mistaken opinions. I would not let that deter you. Please consider joining the FAB and and participate in the loved ones forum. This is an open forum. Please don't judge everyone by the behavior of a few.

Please also try to let go of that "failed woman" thing. I can speak for most CDrs. This is something about us - it isn't any reflection on our wives in any respect. I was literally born this way. You didn't cause this and your husband didn't "choose" to be a CD. We were, for what ever reason, chosen by fate. Undertanding this is difficult, but its a reality that all of us, CDrs and our spouses and significant others eventually have to accept.

Best wishes - Please stay!

[WIFE GG/SO]

Thank you for the kindness you all have shown me. I got some very nice private messages also. I do appreciate it. I guess I will stick around, because I do have so much to learn.

Thank you again...all of you...for your support.

Di

[Amy Fakley]

I hope you don't let one or two opinionated nut-jobs run you off the site. This has been an incredibly warm and welcoming group of people in my experience.
As far as being an "imposter" ... this accusation completely blows my mind.

This site is completely full of people who live a double life .. and for the vast majority of us half of that double life is hidden better than Iraq's nukes.
How in the blue hell anyone on this site could accuse you of being an "imposter" with a straight face ... ROFL. So what if you are? 99% of us are too in one way or another.

Stick around. We've got one or two a-holes ... but on the whole this community is so warm, accepting, informative ... and rewarding to be a part of :-)

[Launa]

Don't go so fast. Remember we are in cyber space, not in a room speaking openly to one another. Comments can be blurted out and a lot of us here are paraniod too....

I have also said things in the past that weren't cool.

I guarantee that you have not failed as a woman.

There are other sites out there. I was a member of them and even though they accepted men in the forum there was just non stop bitching going on. I would try to ask a question so I could get a perspective from them on what my wife was going through with me and would get 1 word answers at best. I was sympathetic to what they were going through but dialoge was unproductive

[JohnnieCD]

i know I am an imposter, i've been living a double life for 45 years and always thought something was wrong with me...thanks for the confirmation..

[biggirlsarah]

Dear wife , I personally hope you find the help and understanding that you deserve, nobody asks to be a cd'r the same as nobody asks to be male of female or gay or straight it just happens that way , personally I think it helps define who I am and I wouldn't change it for a minute. in every walk of life you get the nice people the bad people the jerk's , the think they know it all's who normally turn out to be know nothing at all's, there are a lot of caring supportive people on this forum , you just have to spend a little time and sift out the not so genuine and get to the genuine people who care , they are there and you will find them , good luck in the future with your relationship , love and hugs Sarah xxx

[Lady Catherine]

If you are learning what you need to learn, or getting ANY useful information, stay with us and keep learning. If a few people here can't handle it, that's their problem. Be strong and keep learning.

[Meg East]

It is your choice but consider your posts have generated many great thoughtful replies.

[docrobbysherry]

Impostor? Me maybe, but not u, Di. Glad you're staying and not letting "THEM" win! Thot u had too much character to let that to happen!

[Ceri Anne]

Please don't leave, with a site like this there will always be the chance of someone not accepting, but that doesn't speak for the rest of us. I saw your post about getting your hubby a night gown for Christmas and fell in love. I wish my wife would respond that way. I know its very challenging when something like this appears in a relationship, but as someone else said, It has nothing to do with you being a good wife, its his inner need to express other aspects of his personality. There are couples here that have embraced CD, others have not. But look at it this way.........you now have a husband for a best friend AND a best girlfriend all in one!

[Lorileah]

Ignore the naysayers. Hang around you will soon see who is positive and who has sand in their panties. :) I know who you are referring to and I don't usually agree with them either. As I mentioned in a different thread, we should welcome those who want to learn from us, not try and dissuade them.

[Jenny Gurl]

I can't say much more than has already been said. I will add that this web site is THE best discussion forum for the topic. There are many here who will help you gain an understanding of the many variations of crossdressers. Even if you shop around for another site, make sure you keep this one bookmarked because most come back to it. Welcome, I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

[~Joanne~]

Well, I am glad that you decided to stay. hands down this forum is the best source for support and making friends. Had I had something like this way back, I may have kept some of my now long gone sanity lol People say a lot of things and like someone above mentioned, it should be taken with a grain of salt. This forum offers great advice and support but mostly offers "opinions". You just take the opinions as needed and you'll be fine.

I do , however, have a question that has been bugging me that I would like to ask you, While I have never thought that you may be an "imposter" I have wondered a bit since reading your posts as to why now?

You have stated that you knew about your SO's lifestyle/CDing/???/whateverlabel BEFORE you got married, which was 20 years ago, why are you searching for answers now? If you have accepted this for 20+ years and not much has changed with the SO's dressing, why have you waited so long?

Of coarse, you don't have to answer if you don't like, I am just curious:) Glad your sticking with us :)

[Kate Simmons]

Rest assured that I never thought you were an imposter Hon. My instincts and intuition tell me you are a loving wife who wants the best for her husband. 'Nuff said!:battingeyelashes::)

[audreyinalbany]

Di, I'll add my voice to the chorus: Please stick around!

[Stephanie Miller]

Glad your staying. Everyone has a kneejerk reaction to what others say. It's the good people that take a moment and think them out and alter thier initial reaction if needed. Don't let one bad apple ruin the bunch.

Me? Nope. Just to mentaly slow to know I should change. If I get a response from someone that ticks me off - I pay em' back by sticking around longer. Kind of the burr in the saddle type :D

[WIFE GG/SO]

Hi Miss Joanne...I guess I was hoping for years that it would go away. But recently my hubby has asked if he can wear woman's underwear and nylons and I guess it made me realize that this is NOT going away. I love him too much to say flat out no. The only hard and fast rule that I have is that nobody find out...no going out of the house dressed. So if I can make things easier for him INSIDE our house, I want to do that. That's why I'm going to get him nighties for Christmas. For one, to show him that I do accept him for who he is, and for two, to give him another way to release his CD frustrations. I hope I'm right in doing this.

Di






Well, I am glad that you decided to stay. hands down this forum is the best source for support and making friends. Had I had something like this way back, I may have kept some of my now long gone sanity lol People say a lot of things and like someone above mentioned, it should be taken with a grain of salt. This forum offers great advice and support but mostly offers "opinions". You just take the opinions as needed and you'll be fine.

I do , however, have a question that has been bugging me that I would like to ask you, While I have never thought that you may be an "imposter" I have wondered a bit since reading your posts as to why now?

You have stated that you knew about your SO's lifestyle/CDing/???/whateverlabel BEFORE you got married, which was 20 years ago, why are you searching for answers now? If you have accepted this for 20+ years and not much has changed with the SO's dressing, why have you waited so long?

Of coarse, you don't have to answer if you don't like, I am just curious:) Glad your sticking with us :)

[Gillian Gigs]

Yes, there some nay-sayers around. If you don't like them here, get them voted into government so they don't have any time to be here anymore.....wait, that will not work either. It might give them more to nay-say about...LOL

Please stay, we need your help also.

Quote;
Hi Miss Joanne...I guess I was hoping for years that it would go away. But recently my hubby has asked if he can wear woman's underwear and nylons and I guess it made me realize that this is NOT going away. I love him too much to say flat out no. The only hard and fast rule that I have is that nobody find out...no going out of the house dressed. So if I can make things easier for him INSIDE our house, I want to do that. That's why I'm going to get him nighties for Christmas. For one, to show him that I do accept him for who he is, and for two, to give him another way to release his CD frustrations. I hope I'm right in doing this.

Di


You are a very good woman and wife, he should get down on his knees and kiss your feet. The more my wife accepted me, and my quirks, the deeper my love for her grew.

[Barbara Ella]

Di. This is just a great example of the diversity of individuals we have here. I do really believe they are all sincerely honest individuals and just speak their mind. I know I am not the most tactful person, and continually edit what I say because I know it usually comes out poorly between my mind and the paper the first time. And on this site, who is really the imposter? I continually worry someone will figure out I am really a woman who dresses as a man to crossdress as a woman just to be here and chat with the wonderful girls here. I guess I am doomed.

Barbara

[~Joanne~]

Hi Miss Joanne...I guess I was hoping for years that it would go away. But recently my hubby has asked if he can wear woman's underwear and nylons and I guess it made me realize that this is NOT going away. I love him too much to say flat out no. The only hard and fast rule that I have is that nobody find out...no going out of the house dressed. So if I can make things easier for him INSIDE our house, I want to do that. That's why I'm going to get him nighties for Christmas. For one, to show him that I do accept him for who he is, and for two, to give him another way to release his CD frustrations. I hope I'm right in doing this.

Di

I don't see how you could be wrong :) I am amazed though that he hasn't worn those items in 20 + years and they are usually two of the first items a CD wears. then it usually grows from there.

Believe me when I tell you that most of US thought this would go away too. We have purged time and time again out of the guilt of it all and not being able to ever find an answer to the question "why?". It's the one question that has many answer and none at the same time.

I applaud you for making an effort to come to terms with all of this and hopefully we can do our best to help you along on your journey. :)

[JulieK1980]

I'm glad to see you are staying, and I'm happy to see you making an honest effort to understand your husband more. It's no easy task for a woman to understand crossdressing, as it goes so much against the norm of our society. Let's face it, gender socialization begins when a person is an infant, and it's very hard to comprehend why someone would go against that socialization. Heck, most of us here don't really fully understand it, we just know that we do.

As for the jerks that are calling you an imposter, and generally harassing you, ignore them. If they get zero responses from you, they'll eventually lose interest. Usually people troll on the internet with the sole purpose of getting a reaction out of people, if they don't get it, they lose. There is also a block button on here, that you can hit, and you won't even see their replies.

[kendra_gurl]

If this is considered a cross post and against the rules mods my delete it.

I think its revelant to this threat as they are related

Wife below is what I have posted in the other thread about what you have made this thread for. Just thought everyone envolved should see it




Wife if you check you introduction thread you will see I was the very first to respond with a welcome. While your very first thread sounded a little suspicious at first you did answer the question about why after 20 years of knowing you are just now seeking answers. I even posted there with some advice.

One thing you will come to learn on this or any other sight is that the longer your here the easier it is to obtain the "thick skin" it takes to survive.

My OP was not in any way to single you or anyone else out but rather as the title says "think about it" just a caution to everyone here the possibility exist with the anonimity of the internet not to totally trust everyone untill your able to guage a reasonable opinion of them by reading varying responces they have made.

Glad to see you have decided to stick around with us for awhile longer

[Meghan]

I kind of look at it this way, either:

1. You are an impostor and you'll get bored with this eventually

or

2. You really want to learn and will move past the negative comments to find value here

or

3. You'll stop posting

I hope it's 2, but starting a "people think I might be an impostor thread" is exactly what an impostor might do after being on a message board for 3 days. Just sayin'. I REALLY hope it's the middle option though. The more GG perspectives, the better, IMHO, whatever they might be.

Meghan

[BRANDYJ]

Wife, Don't you dare leave us over a few that think you are an impostor. Please give the rest of us a chance to prove them very wrong.

You are VERY much wanted here!

No, you have in NO WAY failed as a woman! His cross dressing has NOTHING to do with you. Stick around and you will be made aware of this fact.

And please, don't apologize! You did nothing wrong and everything right! You were open and honest. Some just can't stand tohear the truth. They live on a fantasy land known as the PINK FOG.

Once agaiin WELCOME and whatever you do DON"T leave us!

[Kerigirl2009]

I hope you stay and dont take offense to what some people say. Its always good to see GG on here giving their opinion and stories, I think they tend to be more truthful and more insightful. There are some really nice people here and of course their are a few that I choose not to read because I dont agree with them, But typically I can kp those opinions to myself. So again I hope you choose to stay and figure out who is worth getting to know and who you don't wish to know.

[shawnsheila]

Di, we are very glad to have understanding wives like you here in the forum. Don't let a few prevent you from learning more about your husband. First of all know this, CDing has nothing to do with you and your femininity. Your husbands desire to CD has nothing to do with you at all. I know my wife feels the same way too. She thought something was wrong with her but, in fact, it had nothing to do with her at all. Stick with us, as you learn from us we will also learn from you :)

XOXO

[reb.femme]

Hi Di,

I am always cautious as to new/first time posters and agree with much of what Kendra said. Particularly, these lines

1. "......the longer you're here the easier it is to obtain the "thick skin" it takes to survive".
2. "......not to totally trust everyone untill your able to guage a reasonable opinion of them by reading varying responses they have made".

I always think being a poster here is synonymous with being a duck at a shooting gallery. There are a few that will happily take random shots at you, but you just become more adept at ducking (pun intended). This site has been an invaluable source of learning for me and I just let the crap roll.

Stay around, as GG input is invaluable too, especially from someone called the wife. You're not are you? Mine that is? :heehee:

Rebecca x

[sometimes_miss]

Why would someone pretend to be something they're not? Easy. They like drama. I know one guy at work that regularly trolls various forums, looking for opinionated folks, simply to disagree with them and get them riled up. Then he changes his screen name, and continues to push their buttons. Some people simply love to go out of their way to annoy other people. I guess it's because their own life isn't what they want, so they want to make everyone else miserable as well.

[AllyCDTV]

Why would someone pretend to be something they're not? Easy. They like drama. I know one guy at work that regularly trolls various forums, looking for opinionated folks, simply to disagree with them and get them riled up. Then he changes his screen name, and continues to push their buttons. Some people simply love to go out of their way to annoy other people. I guess it's because their own life isn't what they want, so they want to make everyone else miserable as well.That is certainly what trolls do and as such, they are pretty easy to spot. Yet there was nothing of that kind of behavior in Wife or any of the other posters implied in the "impostors" thread. As far as the types of questions asked in those threads, they were all legitimate.

Wife, I'm glad your staying. I learned a few things from your thread about myself. Just don't ask for Social Security numbers, bank accounts or credit card numbers and I'll be fine. :)

[Fiona K]

Wife, you might want also to read "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd. Better still, get it for your husband for Christmas he'll learn as much as you will.
The lingerie can wait until St Valentines..... ;)

[Cheryl T]

Firstly we are 'accepting of outsiders' as we are all outsiders and this is where we find our peace.

As for you failing as a woman...that's hogwash!!
This has absolutely nothing to do with you or any other woman. This is about something in us that just feels right when we can express our femininity to the fullest. This for me began long before I had my first girlfriend, let alone a wife. It was not about any woman then and it's not about any woman now. It's about ME. It's about your husband!

Obviously you are accepting and trying to be more so or you would not have come here seeking information. The best thing you can do is discuss all this with your mate. Discuss the questions you have from reading the posts here. Ask his feelings on the posts....TALK, TALK, TALK!!
I know from my own experience that the one thing I wanted most all my life was someone to talk to about this, someone to share it with, someone who would try to understand me and what this means to me. Be that person for the one you love and you will get more in return than you can imagine.

[ReineD]

I read in another thread that someone thinks I'm an imposter.

You should absolutely be prepared, in a forum this size, to have one nay-sayer for every 10 to 20 positive responses. This is the reality of online forums everywhere. Please don't make the mistake of focusing just on one bad post. You'll be a lot happier if you just ignore the people who don't understand where you're coming from.

Or, if their comment really bothers you, send them a PM and see if the two of you can't work it out privately. Sometimes it doesn't take much to clear up a misunderstanding. Who knows, they might even have been having a bad day and were looking at everything negatively at that moment, not just something that you said. :)

[Stephanie47]

I went back and reread the posts you started. I will agree with Meg. Even if you were an imposter (troll to some) you do raise very serious issues most, if not all men, have thought over the years. In your words I have heard the same thoughts my wife has had over our forty plus years of marriage.

I'm sure there are numerous postings on this site that are total bullshit. In my professional career and personal life I've run across many people who feel the necessity to tell total falsehoods or accentuate their otherwise totally bland and boring lives.

Hang in there! I'd say there are a lot of worthy responses from many people.

And, at another post, maybe that negligee should wait until Valentine's Day after you and he sort out some boundaries.



It is your choice but consider your posts have generated many great thoughtful replies.

[kimdl93]

Di you're putting way to mush stock in what others may think.

[Allisa]

Please do not leave this site,I myself am not married so I don't think I am eligable to reply to a majority of thresds but I know I've learned alot here.I think you can too.

Lisa

[mikiSJ]

Some people are happy and helpful ALL of the time
Some people are happy and helpful most of the time
Some people are happy and helpful
Some people are happy
Some people are helpful
Some people are unhappy
Some people are unhappy and unhelpful
Some people are unhappy and unhelpful most of the time
Some people are unhappy and unhelpful ALL of the time

I have only been around for a month or so and I have found most of the girls here are at least helpful.

Just like in life in general, you keep somethings and you throw out somethings. Keep the good things you get here and ignore the rest.

[kristinacd55]

Hey Di, Let me be the last to welcome you to the forum lol.....anyway, have you ever read the book called "The Four Agreements"? GREAT book and if you take it to heart, none of that crap that was said about you would phase you. The four agreements are:
1) Be impeccable with your word
2) Don't take anything personally
3) Don't make assumptions
4) Always do your best
This book should be required reading for everyone....again welcome!

[NicoleScott]

You'll never please everybody, but the majority of us adore accepting wives. Stay!

[noeleena]

Hi,

To loveing Wife, Di.

Email has been sent,

...noeleena...

[Tracii G]

Please don't leave Di this place is by far the friendliest CD site I have been a part of.
Many are filled with filth and porn which I will not tolerate.
I got slammed here a few times at first because of the questions I asked and got accused of being a phony as well.
99% here are some of the nicest people and you will see that the longer you remain here.
How can you learn if you don't ask questions? Sure a few will be jerks that just goes with the territory pay no attention to them.

[MonctonGirl]

I read in another thread that someone thinks I'm an imposter. I promise you, I am not. I'm a 50 something, overweight, worried wife of a CD'er. I am plagued by fears that this CD'ing will accelerate. I came here to see what I could do to be a more accepting wife and what I could do to understand this better.

Part of me feels like I have failed as a woman also, that he needs this outlet.

BUT, I don't want to be where I am not wanted. Why someone would pretend to be a wife of a CD'er is beyond me. It's not like you can't read the posts anyway without participating.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I came to you all looking for help. There must be other CD sites that are more accepting of us "outsiders".

Di

We will help you - but you must accept the help we give, for it is the right stuff.

There was no failure as a woman on your part, though he MAY feel he failed as a man and never admit that to you. Maybe if you compliment him regularly on manly things you will devert his interest somewhat.

If you want to support him ... take him away to another city and set him up with a makeup session and such. Take lots of photos.

Men feel women have it so easy. You can go to a salon to relax.
He may feel he must stop being a man to relax.
Dig it ... understand it... it may be all about pressure.

Roll with it.

[AmyGaleRT]

Di, I hope the others have turned your opinion around; you belong here as much as anyone. I, for one, believe you are what you say you are, a GG trying to be accepting and supportive of her CD husband, because my fiancee is like you; she is accepting, supportive, and encouraging of me. When I read postings by those CDs who have SOs who aren't like you or my fiancee, it makes me thank my lucky stars I have a woman like my fiancee in my life. I believe your husband thanks his lucky stars you are in his life.

You have not "failed him as a woman"; it's likely he would have the desire to dress independent of whether you were in his life or not, and it never goes away, no matter how hard he might try to wish it away. I know, because I've tried, and failed, to wish it away on several occasions. Now I've come to be more accepting of myself, knowing that my fiancee is accepting of me.

Non illegitimi carborundum, dear lady! :hugs:

- Amy

[ChelseaErtel]

Please stay. Everyone has said what needs to be said, no sense in repeating it. This forum is just a small subset of general society with all the different personalities. You just have to evaluate what is written and heed what you feel is pertinent.

I told my wife I was transsexual one month ago, and it's been rough. We are still together, we love each other more than ever, but it's a very difficult position to be put into. Your husband is a cross dresser, OK, so take your time and since you love each other I think you'll find acceptance at some level. You don't have to be comfortable to see him dressed or go out, you can do the "don't ask don't tell" and everything in between. It's up to you to find your comfort level.

Cheryl T had it right - Talk, talk, talk. My wife and I talk daily. We cry, and try to get through the day. Be happy your husband loves you as a man loves a woman. His CDing had not reflection on you, it's just an internal hard wiring that cannot be undone. Its possible that through his CDing that you two will have more in common and become closer. My wife and I are closer now, but we have other "problems" to work out.

So, I hope you stay. We need more GG's here as it helps all us married TG's as well as other wives.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Wife,

I am glad you chose to remain with us. I hope you are learning that just as insecurities are within you, they are also within all of us. Communication is the cure of insecurities, wether the ones between partners or society on the whole.

I just want you to know that I have learned things about myself and my wife from you and your posts, so thank you.

[WIFE GG/SO]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and encouragement. :)

Di

[MsRenee]

I too am realy glad you decided to stay around. We all know theres ppl out there that are jealous and will say anything to bring you down Never let them get to you just smile and wave lol.
Renee

[Beverley Sims]

Di,
I assume your name made people sit up and think.
Mostly the younger ones would be suspicious.
Wife does sound pointed. You can get it changed by a moderator when you think of something suitable.
You probably did not ask the questions the way others here would have found acceptable.
We all have to learn the best way of communicating with each other.
Oldies, :) like yourself communicate with more forethought than younger ones who go bang! everytime someone lights a fuse.
At least there is conversation about you even if you do not find it flattering.
No one talks about me, not on the board anyway. :(
Stay around see how others perceive you now that you are communicating more directly and you will find that suspicion disappears as well.
You did ask fresh, new and interesting questions that some probably could not handle.
There are a lot of oldies here, over 50 that will help you and I am sure the younger ones will come on board as well.
The younger ones have a very different and fresh view on life and their values are so different from those that have been around for a few more years and are considered wiser.
After this post I may be burnt at the stake or pilloried so take heart and stay and keep on asking.....
Beverley. :)

[Wildaboutheels]

WIFE, [JMO of course] I think THE single most important thing at any Forum, regardless of the subject matter is to simply ignore attacks of any kind from anyone for any reason.

WHY? The one thing that is a constant at any Forum, [from 10+ years] is that few folks will ever change their mind, opinion or stance on matters regardless of their age. MOST will read little beyond the Q box if at all, and rarely will you see anyone apologize to another. Or admit they were wrong or way off base. It's normally caused by people too lazy/unwilling to read an OP or other responders or they take excessive liberty with reading between the lines.

Any Forum is like a buffet line. Take what you like and ignore the rest.

And just because MOST people do it, doesn't mean YOU are under any obligation to "defend yourself".

[TeresaL]

I'm really glad to read your posts. Please stay. You are a breath of fresh air and a wonderful, well, WIFE!

[flatlander_48]

Part of me feels like I have failed as a woman also, that he needs this outlet.

Di

Please understand this. The seeds of crossdressing/transgenderism were sewn LONG before you ever knew your husband. These things don't happen overnight. They were always there, but a lot of factors go into when our other sides start to manifest themselves. While you do have a major role in what happens in the future, how you and your husband got to this point has nothing to do with you.

[Jenny Doolittle]

You know, In the big picture of things, those people that are critical, or what others would call "Jerks" are really a good thing for us to deal with here in the forum because we all know they are out in the real world. By seeing them here it better prepares us for life in the real world when we encounter them.

[Raychel]

There will always be a few bad apples in the bunch. Don't let them scare you off.
I have been here for several years now. this truely is a great forum.
I hope you will stick around and get the support you need from the great members here. :hugs:

[Pexetta]

Many forums allow you to ignore posts from individual members, as far as I know there is no way to do that on this forum

Click on their name, click View Profile, click Add to Ignore List.

[Dana3]

I personally find it most helpfull and refreshing to have the input of a GG/GW when it comes to the conservation of being CD! I've been to another website / forum for "Wives of CD's" Hostile isn't even the word I would begin to use, (Didn't post, just lurked and read). As a retired United States Marine Gunnery Sergeant and Combat Vet? I'd take another 13 month tour in the Middle East than go there!

We NEED you here, and your input isn't only valuable ~ but INVALUABLE!

And please don't hold back expressing your feelings, ambvience, and need to vent about anything. We here need to hear ~ and want to hear your valuable imput!