Effects of aging

[May(be)]

I (think) I can do a decent job passing most of the time,
but I'm getting into my upper 20's and prolonged exposure to testosterone will warp my body into an increasingly masculine shape.

Here's a quick question- what physically changes the most as we age that makes it more difficult to pass convincingly?

Follow-up question- how much time do i have before my "biological clock" makes it impossible to maintain a convincing illusion?

Then again, maybe these are naive questions or insulting to the older crowd. If so, sorry! I just haven't been there yet.
May

[reb.femme]

I've always thought of being too old as 'when a certain part of your anatomy stops watching you shave in the morning, but is content to watch you tie your shoe laces'. :heehee:

On a serious note, how much alcohol you've consumed, how much smoking and unprotected exposure to the Sun you've suffered are all key ingredients here. I've done a fair amount of all three over my early years.

My biggest problem at 53 is trying to do eyeliner on lids that look and feel like wrinkled cellophane. I'd probably have more success trying to take a leg of meat away from a hungry Lion. :heehee:

If you put on weight, this may counter balance the situation. As they say, "no wrinkles on a balloon". :devil:

Rebecca

[kimdl93]

Honestly, I think the majority of the effects have already taken place by your ages. From that point, t levels drop. It's not so much that t levels as the effects of sun exposure and aging tissues that changes our appearance. If your fairly passable at your age, the future is promising.

[Lynn Marie]

My worst difficulties at the moment are "turkey neck" and a few extra chins when I look down. Otherwise, I'm doing well for an old broad.

Advice? Don't smoke, drink in moderation, avoid heavy sun exposure, take care of your teeth, and keep your weight under control. That's about the best you can do. The rest is simply luck of the draw and good genes and good jeans!

[Jenniferathome]

100% of the changes that affect men due to testosterone have hit you already. You're done "growing up". If you take care of yourself, watch your weight and workout you have decades before sagging starts.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you have asked some brilliant questions.
I felt I was becoming less pliable at 30 although I did still look good.
My shoulders seemed a little thicker but that is about all.
My eyes look a little baggy now and my beard has started to thicken.
Weight wise I am 20 lbs more in weight than when I was 20
I have a photo taken at 35 that I will use as an avatar shortly.
Be like me and don't smoke, drink or go out with bad women.
You will probably look better for it but you may not have enjoyed life to the fullest. :)

[Angela Campbell]

I do not think there is an age where it is not possible to pull off the illusion. I belong to a group that consists or people from age 19 or so to over 80. Many of us older ones look pretty good as long as we dress and do makeup for our age. I find the eyes are the thing that has the biggest effect on me. I now have hooded eyes that have droops so bad they cover the eyelid when my eyes are open. I just work around that. I will never look like a 20 year old sex kitten but I have gone un noticed in stores and eateries. A lot of the "girls" I know tell me that after a point the aging makes it easier to blend. With a white beard it is easier to conceal, using a good bit of foundation does not look so out of place on an older woman, looser clothes seem to look more normal too. You just have to use what is there and there are good things about being younger and about being older. Cheer up and don't worry, you are still very young!

[Karren H]

I'd be more concerned about exposure to the sun and environmental toxins..... chemicals in the food.....

[Foxglove]

When I was first starting out with wigs, makeup, etc., one of my friends told me that my age (middle-aged) was in my favor. As an older "woman" you can get away with stuff that younger girls can't. I think she was right, too. E.g., I've noticed young guys glancing at me and then looking away. As an older woman, I hold no interest for them. I think when you're older, you don't get scrutinized so closely. Could be wrong about that, but that's my initial impression.

Annabelle

[LisaMcall]

The best thing I have ever done to stave off the effects of aging is yoga. I only wish I had started sooner. I regularly see women in my yoga classes in their 50s and 60s who appear 20 years younger. Finding the right instructor is important so try to get a recommendation or try out several local studios. Besides , its fun and you get to wear tights.

[Stephanie47]

When you're born the die has already been cast. It's in the genes. I come from a line of tall men, none less than six foot even. That makes it difficult to 'blend' in most circumstances. All the males in my family are genetically slender; height/weight proportional. What makes you NOT pass? It's getting easier to blend these days because so many men are totally out of shape with beer guts and carrying too much weight. There are too many young women who have eaten too many Twinkies. They look like walking death bombs.

You want to preserve yourself and look as passable as possible. Watch your weight and keep muscle tone. Do not get into that male urge to look like Atlas. You cannot stop genetic aging. But, you can minimize the effects of too many pounds. As many have said, stay out of the sun. Too many women have road maps for faces. Leathery skin looks lousy.

As Annabelle has stated, as you grow older there are fewer guys eying you. Old guys go after young chicks. Old ladies go have you studs. There aren't too many men prowling for middle age looking women.

And, as you age, dress for your age.

[Kate Simmons]

I can only speak for myself but I was in my male prime between 35-45. After that the T started to decline and my dressing was more bent towards as who I am as a person rather than physical things.:battingeyelashes::)

[Lady Catherine]

The only thing that really changed for me was I started gaining weight in my mid 30's. If you take care of yourself, you should be able to avoid that. This is also when my hairline started to recede and it was hard to make it look feminine even long.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi May, I'll be 70 this week and I can do a pretty good job of passing.
Just don't let yourself start falling apart.

[mikiSJ]

Belly fat increases, skin texture becomes rougher, and some (not all, thankfully) suffer male pattern baldness.

[Sally24]

The male tendancy to gain weight around the middle is probably the hardest to prevent. Depending on your genetics, you may be lucky. My biggest tip to young girls is to avoid the sun and use LOTS of sunscreen! It's cheap and effective. Also, if you plan to use your own hair, make sure to prevent hair loss as soon as it begins.

[sissystephanie]

I was very good at passing until in my early 70's. That was when my dear wife passed away! She was the one who could really make me passable. I have never been very good with makeup or fixing my wig. I still take good care of my face, and for that matter my whole body. But I go out dressed enfemme. but looking like a man! But even so, people still think that I am younger than I really am. For those who don't already know I am 80 plus!

[Roberta Marie]

The first thing that I noticed as I got older, I thought I was losing my hair. But soon I realized I was mistaken. My hair was not falling out, it was just growing down rather than up, and coming out of my ears and nose.

The other thing that I noticed is that as I aged I actually started to get better looking. Now, when I get close to the mirror I no longer see any of the wrinkles that use to be there just a few years ago. This started happening about the same time my arms started to get too short to read a book.

[Launa]

I don't know what to say about aging. I look 100% male and I can't find a way to make myself look feminine. But I am thinking of seeing a surgeon in the next few years to help me out a bit. Hehe

[NathalieX66]

Well, I'm a sucker for red wine, which contains antioxidants, and a chemical called resveratrol, which is only found on red grapes and blueberries, particularly ones that grow in harsh environments. That, I'm told, will increase your life. I'll know for sure when I get there. My maternal grandparents lived into their 90's, my paternal grandfather died at age 47 of emphysema because he was a heavy smoker, but my grandma died a few months ago at 101.

I will not give up my meat eating ways, but fish, particularly salmon is a big part of my diet besides fruits & vegs. I stay away from white bread, and soda. OK, I treat myself to a Coca cola once a week if that....but no more than that.

I constantly drink water, lots of it, that is either bottled or purified in my Brita pitcher......cold as possible.

Running 3-5 miles every other day for the last 3 years help me burn off all the guy fat, especially on my face. I used to weigh 175 lbs , I'm 5'6", and now I'm 145.

[Tracii G]

If you are worried about your face start moisturizing your face right now with a quality product.
Proper face cleanser first of course.
Use a good sunscreen too.
Diet is important too veggies and fruit such as blueberries,raspberries etc.
I have been walking everyday and drinking plenty of water.
I'm 60 and people think I'm in my late 40's.
Take care of your hands too keep the moisturized too.

[dilane]

If you stay thin, and your beard doesn't get worse (getting it reduced makes a huge difference), there's no difference in pass-ability as you age. You just pass as an older woman.

If anything I pass much better than I did at 35 (when I started) over 20 years ago. Mainly because my comportment, confidence and voice are so much better. The more face time you get in public (if you're observant), the better you get. There's a big difference in the result when someone gives you a long look if you can return look confidently and give a girl smile.

[daphne_pynk]

i think for me i'm worried about face changes, men tend to deposit fat in there jowls and and the ladies into their cheeks. i feel that tends to make a big difference over time.

[Megan70]

Oddly enough I am more passable, and relaxed in public at 65 now that I was for the last 40 years. Those first 30 or so were my training wheels. But ditto to watching weight waistline, beard complexion, which I have no problem with. Turkey neck which you can't do much about except turtle necks or scarfs, but you seem off to a good start. Enjoy and SAVOR the next 30 years and grow with the aging experience. It will develop on it own naturally.

[Eryn]

I think that we tend to get more passable as we go from 50 up. Our male bodies tend to soften, get a bit of breast development, and add flesh on the neck that smooths out the Adam's apple. Older GGs have a much wider range of acceptable facial shapes and, face it, aren't scrutinized by being in the mating hunt as much.

For the younger folks, avoid exposure to the sun. The one thing I can't get rid of is the damaged skin and farmer tan on my arms. My shoulders are as smooth as a baby's behind, so I have a constant reminder of what those fun summer days riding motorcycles without a jacket cost me. Regular use of a loofah sponge on my arms followed by Nadinola cream helps with the farmer tan, but they will never be smooth and pretty again

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im 65 looked after myself keep fit on the building sites for 46 odd years, rode over 300 miles a week did not over eat,
my weight has been give or take 5 lbs ether side of 11 stone = 154 lb for over 40 years, summer / winter, & is the same now,

my genes have worked well for me my body shape is similer to a woman, my skin is olive so dont need or use makeup,

i knew to look after myself because of what would take place later in life,well 19 years ago it has,

in the main iv enjoyed my life, apart from a few things, so to look after your self can benifit ones body when you know your a female, & later in age, im not a beauty contestant not even a good looking woman i have other things that makes up for who i am, so i cant complain & nore will i,

...noeleena...

[Vickie_CDTV]

As I transitioned from my mid 20s to about 30 folks around me told me my face "hardened" structurally (even though I had far less facial hair and beard shadow by then) and my voice got harsher. So, I understand what you are talking about. You probably won't become too masculinized from here forward, but if you are worried and you have folks who you have been around dressed for many years you can ask them.

As for passability, I don't believe there is any set age; I have met 21 year olds who were dealt a rough genetic hand and cannot pass, and elderly folks who pass wonderfully. Remember, passability and how close one is to the societal ideal of female beauty are not the same thing. As you transition into middle age you may not look like a "hot young thing" but you can be passable, or at least as passable as possible, regardless. Don't be too hard on yourself, short of HRT, there is only so much most of us can do with what we are handed, age will eventually affect us all (and getting old beats the alternative, as my mature ex-girlfriend often reminded me.) Even though I am 36 and a fat "walking death bomb", and I don't pass perfectly by any means, people tell me I look nice and create a pleasant female image I get by "ok" in public.

[denese013]

The biggest effect of aging to me was when the iron in my blood turned into lead in my ass.

[Celeste]

Hi May,It is like most have said here,it's all in that dreadful sun exposure. I've made changes like not going to the beach a lot,wearing a brimmed hat and sun glasses with max UV protection that wrap around the sides(crows feet).The sun will definitely accelerate the wrinkles! I've found the best affordable SPF protection to be Neutrogena age shield face sunblock,it has 70 SPF and is real thick so you have to work it into your face and neck somewhat.

Other than that,you can find a good moisturizing lotion to apply on the rest of your body after showering when your skin is still lightly wet. Cetaphil fragrance free non comedogenic moisterizing lotion works best for me,it doesn't smell like a perfume bomb,is also affordable and effective.So about $10.00 each on these 2 products will save bunches of time on other worthless or overpriced ones.

[Cheryl T]

[QUOTE=May(be);3037720]I (think) I can do a decent job passing most of the time,
but I'm getting into my upper 20's and prolonged exposure to testosterone will warp my body into an increasingly masculine shape.

If you're in your late 20's you're already warped by T. That began at puberty and you're well past that stage, what's done is done. The only thing left is going bald if that's in your genes.

Here's a quick question- what physically changes the most as we age that makes it more difficult to pass convincingly?

You will see the greatest change if you tend to over eat and get a "beer belly". After that you will see your skin lose it's elasticity, age spots develop and you will see those crow's feet around your eyes and the "chicken neck" begin to appear. Hiding those hands and disguising your age will become your challenge.

Follow-up question- how much time do i have before my "biological clock" makes it impossible to maintain a convincing illusion?

When you turn to dust honey, when you turn to dust. I'm 63 and feel I look good for my age and I have no intention of stopping now. Thank god for good makeup and a good wig.

Then again, maybe these are naive questions or insulting to the older crowd. If so, sorry! I just haven't been there yet.

No insult taken. You aren't there yet....but you will be....it's inevitable. Just enjoy the ride.

[Leslie Langford]

May(be), I've posted this once before in another, similar thread, but I think it bears repeating here again:


"I'm one of the older CDers here (64 years young ), and the way I see it, most of us really have only two good shots in our lives at passing relatively effortlessly as females:

1) When we are in our late teens or early 20's, our faces are still smooth and wrinkle-free, our beards haven't fully matured yet, and most of us haven't packed on the extra pounds often referred to as the insidious "middle-aged spread".

2) The second time is in our 50's and 60's, when our beards are greying and easier to cover up, and our GG counterparts have begun to undergo menopause and are starting to show more masculine attributes as their bodies adjust to those hormonal changes. These include more peach fuzz on their faces and hair on their upper lips, putting on weight (and often losing their formerly well-defined waists in the process), deepening voices, and their feet getting larger.

At the risk of attracting the ire of some of the GG's who post here, I have to say that it appears that this is often accompanied by a sense of resignation, whereby they just "go with the flow" and no longer bother trying to make themselves look attractive or sexy. This includes generally wearing their hair shorter and in an often mannish style as well as dressing in baggy, nondescript styles including the infamous "granny" panties, "mom" jeans, shapeless tops and jogging pants, flip-flops, and generally "sensible" shoes. In other words, the very antithesis of the way we crossdressers like to dress - and rail against - wishing that they would still prefer to dress like that as well.

All of this makes "passing" and/or blending in relatively easy in our age bracket, because even if we are not picture perfect in our presentation, the bar is not set that high anyways. Not to be unkind, but how passable are/were Julia Child, Janet Reno, Susan Boyle, Margaret Thatcher, and Golda Meir?

That said, even if we older CDer's missed the boat the first time around, we now have a second chance to make up for lost time. In my case, I am taking full advantage of all the opportunities now before me and have been out in public en femme more times (and far more successfully) over the last 3 years than I ever imagined possible - and what a wonderful ride it has been! Like so many others here who have also finally screwed up their courage and taken the plunge, the rewards have been incalculable.

If anything, the world is a far more accepting and open-minded place than it was in our youth, which makes crossdressing in public and being treated just like any other woman far more pleasurable than it might have been back in our youth anyway. It may have been a long wait, but it was definitely worth it, looking back.

It is often said that youth is wasted on the young, and what we older crossdressers have going for us is both the ability to blend in easily with the women in our age bracket, as well as the life experiences that have given us our self-assurance as well as our sense of style. And truth be known - rather than being an object of derision as we typically fear, more often than not we up the ante for our fellow GG's.

That's certainly the impression I've gotten, based on the number of compliments that I've received from GG's on my wardrobe choices, accessories, and of course - shoes!"

[linda allen]

I thinkt much of the difficulty (us) older crossdressers have is not so much trying to "pass", but in trying to pass as a much younger female. Six inch heels, short miniskirts, etc. For example, I bought a long dark brown wig when I really should have bought a short grey one.

You'll have much better results trying to pass as a woman your actual age. That may mean more practical shoes, shorter hair, and longer skirts or dresses. And more subdued makeup.

[ChelseaErtel]

The first thing that I noticed as I got older, I thought I was losing my hair. But soon I realized I was mistaken. My hair was not falling out, it was just growing down rather than up, and coming out of my ears and nose.

Same tragedy here. I tell my wife and kids that I have the same amount of hair I did when I was 20, it's just relocated. But it's relocated everywhere except where I want it. I am doomed to wigs for the rest of my life. So sad but they have some excellent wigs now that you can shower with.

[May(be)]

Thanks, everyone! I feel better about the future now. Funny thing is, before I started cross dressing semi-amateurishly I could not wait to get old and gray and grow a really big nasty beard. I was planning to wash my face with brine to give me that grizzled old sea fisherman look.

oh, how things change.

[Claire Cook]

I'll wave my little flag in support of using sunscreens too. As a local dermatologist says in his radio ad, "You only have one skin". We're concerned here about the aging effects of sun exposure on our lovely faces, but there is a real worry -- skin cancer. I spent too many years getting sunburnt (and not using sunscreen when on boats in tropical climes) and paid the price -- lots of precancers and basal cell carcinomas (see my post "Not a pretty sigh (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?133295-Not-a-pretty-sight...&highlight=)t"). That glorious tan just ain't worth it.

So use the stuff -- and my female physician is after me to always use moisturizer.

[sometimes_miss]

Depends on the person, we all age at different rates. I didn't hit puberty until I was 17, so for me, everything was a bit delayed. However; if you work at all, your hands will probably give you away; men simply don't take care of our skin. You will start to develop a 'brow bar', a slight protuberance on the forehead above the nose. Of course, hair will sprout up pretty much everywhere but on the top of your head, as you will usually get the typical receding forehead, as well as the bald patch at the top as time goes on. If being slim helps you pass, eventually that same trait will reveal muscles instead of the smooth shape of a female torso and limbs. And of course, your adam's apple will become more prominent as you age as well, if not already. I too could pass when I was in my mid teens; sadly, no longer. so go and enjoy passing while it lasts.

[NicoleScott]

I'll never forgive Sir Isaac Newton for inventing gravity. Or was that Al Gore?

[Kaz]

Gravity is what what gravity takes... everything heads south in the end... Of course Dracula cracked that by hanging upside down overnight... or rather day....

By birth your genes are set... by 20 your outlook is pretty fixed - you can tame it all through hormones though and then surgery...

Welcome to the community!

[Claire Cook]

Gravity is what what gravity takes... everything heads south in the end... Of course Dracula cracked that by hanging upside down overnight... or rather day....
Welcome to the community!

Maybe we have one advantage over most GG's -- our forms don't sag with age? (Unless we use them too much??) Well, there IS one gravity thing we face ... one of my GG friends once told me that one of mine had slipped down ...

"But square cut or pear shape these rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

[docrobbysherry]

Then, u can blend in with the older ladies quite easily!:thumbsup:

DON"T be like me at age 60+! I've stupidly kept a slim figure. Which keeps me constantly striving to look young and hot! It's getting to be TOO MUCH WORK at my age!:doh:

I think it would be much easier to just give up on body maintenance, thro on a loose granny dress, and pass anywhere because no one looks at u twice! :brolleyes:

[Michelle (Oz)]

I (think) I'm getting into my upper 20's and prolonged exposure to testosterone will warp my body into an increasingly masculine shape.

In my 60s now so I guess my body is done warping and the camera doesn't lie about height, shoulders etc.

Here's the compensating thing though ... I am less concerned about what people think so passing, while an aim, is increasingly less important.

Leslie - Did enjoy your post @32. The thing is though, my dressing age hasn't caught up to my biological age and I never want it to. Makeup does help us look younger.

[linda allen]

Maybe we have one advantage over most GG's -- our forms don't sag with age?

But that is a problem. Boobs that look like they belong on a 20 year old girl look out of place on a 60 year old "granny".

If I could find some "granny boobs", I would buy them.

[Sarah Doepner]

May,
Those are good questions that I wish I'd have asked years and years ago. Then if I'd gotten any response, I wish I'd have followed the best of the advice. What I offer here can be picked through and taken with a grain of salt.
You are probably going to live a lot longer than you thought so take care of yourself. Enjoy the sun but protect your skin and moisturize. Exercise needs to be a habit, not something you feel obligated to do, but something that's part of your life just like eating and sleeping. Streatch well and often, the suggestion of yoga is probably a good one. Eat balanced, stand on one foot. Enjoy life, it's not a test and there won't be a quiz at the end. And none of this is just for someone who want's a life that's good for crossdressing, but it's for anyone. The crossdressing stuff would be use good makeup and get trained in how to use it to your advantage. Have a professional manicure and pedicure so you know how to take care of your nails. Consider how baddly you ever want to grow a mustache or beard in the future. If you don't want them, start putting money away to get the facial hair removed permanently. Invest in good quality forms and hair. Find a support group so you don't have to be totally in the closet with no one to talk to. Wear shoes that fit well, regardless of if they are heels or not, you deserve to be able to walk in comfort and not regret fashion choices because they hurt.

[Angela Campbell]

But that is a problem. Boobs that look like they belong on a 20 year old girl look out of place on a 60 year old "granny".

If I could find some "granny boobs", I would buy them.
Just wear your bra at the waist!

[Barbara Dugan]

I used to get a little worry and angst about getting old, I am 43 now and will be 44 next March...but the older you get you Testosterone level naturally decreases and that sometimes is a good thing

[Leslie Langford]

But that is a problem. Boobs that look like they belong on a 20 year old girl look out of place on a 60 year old "granny".

If I could find some "granny boobs", I would buy them.

One word Linda: "birdseed". Or maybe dried rice...

Point is - you could make your own boobs from any suitable material and in any shape you want to simulate the desired look, including "granny boobs". The weight would actually be pretty close to that of a natural breast of the same size. Just make sure you pack the birdseed or rice tightly enough so that it doesn't rattle around loosely inside the fake boob. That would be disconcerting to anyone within earshot...;).

[shayleetv]

You know age just hasn't been a factor ever in my life. My mom was always concerned about aging, my father cursed the anniversary of his birth because it reminded him of his mortality and my sister stopped having birthdays when she reached 40. And as for me each day became a celebration of maturity. Wisdom and how to apply it only comes from experience and experience only comes from age. Yes the body changes but that happens to everyone. Even GG's fear age because we don't value the beauty that there is in aging. Just look at the number of anchor women over the age of 40. But if you need to be sexy 20 year old all your life the only way to achieve that is to freeze dry yourself at that age otherwise embrace the age you are. I guarantee you will have more fun doing that than trying in vain to stop the clock.

[Nathalie Antoinette]

At 58, I'm really just beginning to learn about, and experiment with, crossdressing. So, I'm starting with a body that has long been been affected by testosterone and the affects of aging. But, I will work with what I have and enjoy the journey, wherever it leads. If I were young, beautiful, and passable, I might also be concerned about seeing all of that slip away. I suppose unless you're willing to go down the road of hormone therapy and other procedures, it will be difficult to stop the natural progression of your genetics.

[Barbara Ella]

I started at age 66, so the ravages of testosterone have taken their toll. Fortunately, this means that I don't expect to see too much change over the next few years so I will not have anything to get down about as I can be me and remain me.

Barbara

[Julie Gaum]

For the most part very good advice. Age is not a barrier to looking as feminine or more so for reasons mentioned. Weight can be a problem
if you stop exercising. Doesn't have to be 4 miles or one mile if you just work on loosing a few hundred calories daily and eat more fish --- but all that has already been mentioned. Do want to address Karren who is worried about toxins for a new study just came out that covers some we know about already and some I didn't: Harmful toxins in new or just cleaned carpets, many toothpastes (yep), drycleaned clothes, oven cleaner, stain-proofed fabrics and on and on. So Karren stop worrying for worry causes all sorts of physical and mental maladies --- will cause more harm than those enviromental toxens all around us.Smiles use less wrinkles than frowning so be happy!
Julie

[Carol A]

I have to agree with a lot of gals here, I am now 74 and with proper makeup and shorter hair I still get by really great. How I go out on a regular basic and believe being comfortable about yourself it a big factor.