Suicide Rates Among CDers?

[JennyCD]

Does anyone know what the suicide rate is among crossdressers in comparison to non-crossdressers? I know that depression is pretty common amongst us, but what about actual suicide?

Ok, I know this is an extremely morbid question, but as the thought has crossed my mind, I am wondering if there is any information regarding this.

Have you considered it?

[MadisonLee]

A few years back , I considered and attempted but I dont think it was because I am a crossdressor , maybe it was a bit of everything in my life at the time. I have been in ER because of it. I have been in the mental hospital because of depression. Most of it was from being lonely. Kinda sucks being by yourself durning a holiday like christmas, or thanksgiving and even your birthday.

[Paula Rae]

Personally, the only connection I can make between CrossDressing and suicide is:
If I had to quit CrossDressing, I'd commit suicide.

Seriously, no I have never considered it, and don't know anyone who has.

Maybe this thread should be posted in the "Depression/Mental Health Group"

[pauleen]

Yes I agree with madison cross dressing wasnt the only thing that gave me thoughts of harming myself ,my divorce and other events in my life ,but through counciling I regained control of those thoughts ,and came to terms with my c/d,its a part of who I am.

[Shannon]

Here's some stats I just pulled. Since the suicide rate among males is higher than females, that might confound any stat about CD rates.

Completed Suicides in the U.S. - 1999


Suicide was the 11th leading cause of death in the United States.
It was the 8th leading cause of death for males, and 19th leading cause of death for females.
The total number of suicide deaths was 29,199
The 1999 age-adjusted rate** was 10.7/100,000, or 0.01%.
1.3% of total deaths were from suicide. By contrast, 30.3% were from diseases of the heart, 23% were from malignant neoplasms (cancer), and 7% from cerebrovascular disease (stroke), the three leading causes.
Suicide outnumbered homicides (16,899) by 5 to 3.
There were twice as many deaths due to suicide than deaths due to HIV/AIDS (14,802).
There were almost exactly the same number of suicides by firearm (16,889) as homicides (16,599).
Suicide by firearms was the most common method for both men and women, accounting for 57% of all suicides.
More men than women die by suicide.
The gender ratio is 4:1.
72% of all suicides are committed by white men.
79% of all firearm suicides are committed by white men.
Among the highest rates (when categorized by gender and race) are suicide deaths for white men over 85, who had a rate of 59/100,000.
Suicide was the 3rd leading cause of death among young people 15 to 24 years of age, following unintentional injuries and homicide. The rate was 10.3/100,000, or .01%.
The suicide rate among children ages 10-14 was 1.2/100,000, or 192 deaths among 19,608,000 children in this age group.
The 1999 gender ratio for this age group was 4:1 (males: females).
The suicide rate among adolescents aged 15-19 was 8.2/100,000, or 1,615 deaths among 19,594,000 adolescents in this age group.
The 1999 gender ratio for this age group was 5:1 (males: females).
Among young people 20 to 24 years of age the suicide rate was 12.7/100,000, or 2,285 deaths among 17,594,000 people in this age group.
* The 1999 gender ratio for this age group was 6:1 (males: females).

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I'm not aware of any statistics, which would be difficult to gather on a closeted population. There are stats for transsexuals, but that's because they have the undergo therapy in order to be candidates for SRS -- which means they're visible to be tracked.

[Stlalice]

Can't speak for the rate among the CD side of our community but from what I've seen the rate among those of us who are TS is appalling. I've seen some claims of a rate as high as 50% before age 30 - and of the "survivors" that make it into therapy and transition from 60 to 80% will admit to at least having thought about it or maybe attempted it unsucessfully. Thus it stands to reason that the rate among the CD community is likely higher than the average for the general population. Shame, guilt, problems with depression and relationships are all possible triggers. That said, no matter how low you are feeling, suicide is NEVER a viable option where dealing with the pain of any situation that you might find yourself in. The only real option is to find a good therapist that specializes in gender related issues and start working out your problems/issues. A good source of listings for therapists that specialize in gender issues is to go to the website of the International Foundation for Gender Education - www.ifge.org - or call them - if you call them you will be talking to a person who has "been there - done that" and will give you good advice. Hope this in some way helps answer your questions. :angel:

[Nikki Dee]

Suicide.?...amongst crossdressers.???never even thought about the subject. Far too busy enjoying this wonderful gift. I am so happy being TG I could burst.!!!!
love Nikki. x

[Katie Ashe]

I did once consider it, yes. When I was in my teen years. I would imagine it high in the area of though about.

My reason was I could never be considered normal, as I was outcasted most of my life for simply looking like a nerd. I was the one that was always bullied and the end of everyones jokes. It was very hurtful and wrong, hence why I insist on being a loner and rather seek those of my own kind for comfort.

Sorry I have no numbers to give, and hope this answers your Q.

[Tiffy]

Not sure what the rates are. But I tried it once when I was in my late teens because I thought I was a freak. Have not tried it since. But it has crossed my mind many times.

Kisses, April

[TGMarla]

It's a subject that hits very close to home with me. I live in New Mexico, where the teen and overall suicide rate ranks among the highest in the nation. My wife's son committed suicide nearly two years ago. She has not, nor will she ever, recover from the loss.

I'm not going to postulate on this at this time, as I just covered some of it in another post a few minutes ago. Perhaps I will repost here later. If you have never dealt with suicide, you cannot understand the ramifications of it. If you have, then you know. But I will take the time right now to say this to any of you who are considering the possibility of suicide:

Do not do this thing. You do not understand what it is you are doing. You have no idea of the wreckage you leave behind. You have no idea what it will do to the lives of your friends and relatives. You are not thinking clearly, and are not thinking of anyone but yourself. Do not do this thing. I'm begging you.

[Christina Nicole]

I've thought about it a few times, but never too seriously for religious reasons. I almost didn't bother correcting a bad attitude on final when the plane I was flying (alone) was thrown by a particularly nasty crosswind gust, thinking "so what?" and "who cares?" The last episode was party hormonal. Estrogen does funny things to your emotions. That's a different story.

Shannon's statistics don't show the rate of attempted suicides to "successful" suicides. Since men tend to choose methods like guns to commit suicide, their attempts usually end up as fatalities. Women tend to use pills and typically are discovered by someone with enough time for the doctors to rescue them. I believe, but I cannot locate the statistic, that men and women attempt suicide at roughly the same rate.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[KathrynW]

Suicide.?...amongst crossdressers.???never even thought about the subject. Far too busy enjoying this wonderful gift. I am so happy being TG I could burst.!!!!
love Nikki. x
geeeeeesh...just a bit over the top? ;)

[emmicd]

I hope those troubled individuals find the help they need before it would ever come to that.

Life is too short and a precious gift from God!

emmi

[KathrynW]

Life is too short and a precious gift from God!
emmi
Yes, I agree....Life is a gift from God ...
But is cd-ing a gift? Ummmm....No Way...

[Kim E]

Having recently retired from a career in the law enforcement field, I would say, there are no statistics on suicides involving CD's. Routinely, every death that occurs anywhere in the country is investigated to some degree by a police agency. This does not include attended deaths. Any suspicious or questionable death is always investigated, some if only by a medical examiner.

With almost 20 years of working with the detective bureau, I know of only 2 deaths of CD's. One was natural causes and the other was ruled accidental strangulation. I've attended numerous suicide intervention and suicide investigation schools and will say that CD is covered in class, but usually as an accidental death investigation.

In the statistics sent to the FBI every year, by all police agencies, there is no provision for CD in the report forms. It would be probably impossible to answer this question.

Kim

[Nikki Dee]

Kathryn.!!!...wouldn't change a word I said...Yes. I think it is a gift...something that feels this good must be....and no I don't think it's over the top either...it's called positive thinking.!!!...and I don't have the God thing to worry about either..Shock Horror.!!!..I'm Pagan in my beliefs...takes all sorts you know.?...Lets see how many this wakes up.!!!!
Love Nikki. x

[KathrynW]

Yes. I think it is a gift...something that feels this good must be....and no I don't think it's over the top either...it's called positive thinking.!!!...and I don't have the God thing to worry about either..Shock Horror.!!!..I'm Pagan in my beliefs...takes all sorts you know.?...Lets see how many this wakes up.!!!!
ok, that your opinion...and that's fine. But, "Lets see how many this wakes up"? WTF does that mean?

[Phoebe Reece]

This is drifting off-topic a bit, but Nikki is not the only TG person to see crossdressing as a gift. I have fun with it, enjoy it greatly, and wouldn't have it removed from my life for any reason. I also see it as a "gift". Suicide has never entered my mind as something I would consider. I have known a number of people over the years who have taken that route though (none of them were TG) and to this day cannot understand how they were able to actually go through with it.

[size7satin]

Suicide did cross my mind at a young age but it had nothing to do with cd more with my sexuality. I still remember my grandmother walking in as I loaded the rifle. I told her I was cleaning it and she will never know that she saved my life that day.

Yes both sexuality & cd'ing were mixed as a young boy but i had no one to talk to about it. If I had went to any of my fathers I would just been beaten again. As I grew older 18-20 again the thaught crossed my mind. Why because I had problems dealing with being diffrent which included my perversion of CD'ing. Then the internet came along and saved me from self destruction, I found I WASN'T alone out there.

So if any good come out of my life I hope just one lost soul sees they are not the only one that had all the same emotions and that we are normal and it will all be ok in the end. Be you and be happy and :censor: those that cant see you for who you are.

[Lana]

I have considered suicide countless times, and attempted it twice, I'm manic depressive so thoughts of suicide are not really that uncommon for me:( My being a crossdresser does enter into the picture when I'm severely depressed and longing for an exit because it's yet another thing wrong in my life that I can never change.

[Helana]

Lana

If you can reach a level of self-acceptance then you will realize that crossdressing is a wonderful gift. We can express ourselves in ways which other men cannot comprehend.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Do you think a man who is unable to express himself and then has his girlfriend giggle at him could be contemplating suicide? Should I be pushing him to open up or should I ease off? I have told him that I want him to tell me about crossdressing and I will not be judgemental but he does not seem to believe me and tells me to forget the whole deal, which goes against my instincts.

Hi Tassie. I doubt your boyfriend is he's suicidal, but it does sound like he's hurt. Coming out is one of the scariest things we do in our lives -- I know one Special Forces type who would rather be back in combat than come out. But I don't want to lay a guilt trip on you. What's done is done, and I suspect you giggled because it was so unexpected and also maybe because of your own nervousness.

Probably the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Let him know your sorry that you giggled -- and if you can identify why you think you did so, it might help to explain it. But don't be surprised if he's a bit wary. While you didn't intend to hurt him, it did come at time when he probably was feeling more vulnerable that he ever did in his life. So it just may take some time really believe that you won't be judgemental. To be honest, a lot of it may be his mind -- those who have trouble accepting their own crossdressing often seem to have a hard time believing others will accept it.

He's doing the guy-thing of retreating into his cave, so you'll probably need to do a balancing act between giving him some space and letting him know that you want to talk about it. It might be helpful to leave him a small, symbolic gift -- such as a pair of panties, earrings, etc. Beneath the dress he's still a guy, and for guys actions often speak louder than words.

Anyway, good luck to the both of you.

[jjjjohanne]

Does anyone know what the suicide rate is among crossdressers in comparison to non-crossdressers? I know that depression is pretty common amongst us, but what about actual suicide?

Ok, I know this is an extremely morbid question, but as the thought has crossed my mind, I am wondering if there is any information regarding this.

Have you considered it?

JennyCD,
How are you doing? Are you considering it? I know personally that the guilt and embarrassment of doing this can be tough sometimes, but it is not THAT bad. Even if you feel that this is a sin that you shouldn't do, it is not so bad that it deserves a death sentence. There are people who you can talk to. There are people who can help you with depression and with stopping CDing and can do it while remaining confidential. You are not a horrible person and there is HOPE! There are a lot worse things you could be into. Your life isn't broken. I am sure that there are a lot of people in your life who want you to stick around!

With compassion and love,
Joe

[JennyCD]

JennyCD,
How are you doing? Are you considering it? I know personally that the guilt and embarrassment of doing this can be tough sometimes, but it is not THAT bad. Even if you feel that this is a sin that you shouldn't do, it is not so bad that it deserves a death sentence. There are people who you can talk to. There are people who can help you with depression and with stopping CDing and can do it while remaining confidential. You are not a horrible person and there is HOPE! There are a lot worse things you could be into. Your life isn't broken. I am sure that there are a lot of people in your life who want you to stick around!

With compassion and love,
Joe

I'm doing pretty well these days, thank you. No, I am not considering it. I was treated for severe depression a few years back, and it's something I still have to be very aware of, but no, I'm nowhere near there.

My reasons for asking are simply that I suffer from depression, I know from reading posts here that others do as well, severe depression often leads to suicide attempts, and wondered if the rates may be higher among us. Ok, I am a curious person, even regarding morbid subjects such as this. It also has some even more personal meaning to me as suicide is how I lost my father.

[KathrynW]

Do you think a man who is unable to express himself and then has his girlfriend giggle at him could be contemplating suicide?
It's unlikely. But, is it possible? Yes, maybe. Many guys take this stuff VERY seriously. Try and discuss it with him again with less giggling and a bit more compassion. ;)

If you can reach a level of self-acceptance then you will realize that crossdressing is a wonderful gift. We can express ourselves in ways which other men cannot comprehend.
IF is the key word here. MANY are struggling with issues of self-acceptance and definitely do not view cd-ing as a "wonderful gift". ;)

He's doing the guy-thing of retreating into his cave, so you'll probably need to do a balancing act between giving him some space and letting him know that you want to talk about it. Beneath the dress he's still a guy, and for guys actions often speak louder than words.
Good advice...I agree with Marlena.;)

There are people who can help you with depression and with stopping CDing and can do it while remaining confidential.
You can find help for depression, Yes...
But stopping cd-ing? Short of some kind of lobotomy, that's simply not gonna happen. Yes, anyone can not dress for a period of time. But, completely removing all desires to cd from a person, and STOPPING permanently? Hmmmmm....won't ever happen.

[Nikki Dee]

Thanks Kathryn...and I think it's fine for you to have your opinion too.!!. The "wakes up" comment was purely to stimulate response...nothing more.!
Love Nikki. xx

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Good luck Tassie in trying to talk with him this weekend. It sounds like his temperment leans more toward the introvert, and introverts typically need more time to think about what they're going to say, so a face-to-face conversation may be harder for him -- especially if he's already feeling off-centered -- since to him it's a high-stakes conversations where he'll need to think on his feet, which he knows he's not as adept at.

Which is a long way of leading up to saying that if he doesn't want to talk, you might try leaving him a letter telling him how you feel. That way he can process it in his own due time, and not be distracted by some of the fears that a face-to-face conversation might cause.

It does sound like he's trying to butch himself up around his friends. To him it probably feels like act he's got to put on to be "one of the guys" and it probably feels a bit draining to him. (It's something that I'd bet is true of non-CDs do as well.) I suspect his "softer" side is one the things that might made him attractive to you. It this is the case, definitely let him know about that. It should help him beleive that you really can accept his CDing.

FYI, depression does seem to be fairly common among crossdressers -- probably due to the guilt and shame many people feel about their CDing. The good news is that if he can learn to accept himself, he'll probably be less prone to being depressed in the future.

[emmicd]

Tassie,

I don't think you should feel guilt for giggling upon learning of your boyfriend's crossdressing. It's a normal reaction and it's healthy to laugh sometimes. Life doesn't always have to be so serious.

As far as communication in your relationship just let your boyfriend know that you are his friend and you are not going to judge him any differently. Let him know that he displayed courage in discussing it with you and that you appreciate his honesty. Most crossdressers don't intend to tell their girlfriend or spouse and they live in total secrecy and isolation which I think is far worse. Secrecy and deception is not the way to go. Openness and honesty is far better.

I don't think most cd'ers have suicidal tendancies but suicide is unfortunately a way out for some troubled youth and adults. Hopefully they can find the help they need.

emmi

[Stlalice]

Tassie,

The only advice I can give you is to go SLOW where trying to get you boyfriend to open up is concerned - let him know and be assured that you love him, that you support him, and that he is safe in opening up to you. Then make absolutely sure that you REALLY follow thru on that. What you have been describing may well be the tip of the proverbial iceberg where his feelings about himself being a CD or possibly TS is concerned. The "two persons" behaviour that you mentioned is quite common for MTF transsexuals and is one of the ways that we cope and try to deal with our feelings - sort of a "if I don't fake it, I won't make it" coping mechanism that when it breaks down and we can no longer "fake it" leaves you feeling deeply depressed and vulnerable. It is at this stage that death by suicide can seem like a viable alternative. I know because I've been there. It is also common for MTF trans to "come out" in stages - first maybe admitting that they CD, then going further as they find the world doesn't end for them. What I STRONGLY recomend is that you BOTH find a good therapist that specializes in gender issues and jointly talk out your issues with him or her. Check the professional listings with the International Foundation for Gender Education at www.ifge.org for starters. You and/or your boyfriend can also PM me if you want or need to talk further. :angel: :angel: