PTSD or TG issues

[tanyalynn51]

Man doesnt that sound like a strange thread title. I thought about changing it but I guess it really does cover the problem. Awhile back I posted about how my tg friendly therapist died at the same time that the shrink I was seeing changed practices. What has happened is that I wound up seeing a new psychiatrist. I discovered that although I havent felt any encouragement to where I can share the tg issues, something else has happened that has made me want to keep seeing her for therapy. Although I continually work with people who suffer from PTSD, I have realized how much I have been in denial about my own problems with it. Why i thought that after living on the streets for 17 years and doing some very criminal things to survive, that I wouldnt have serious PTSD issues, I have no idea. Whatever her thoughts on tg people, this shrink is doing me a lot of good on the PTSD side. But then again, I find myself not really getting involved in sites and things that have been helpful before like this. I havent done anything on here outside of the trivia and games area for months. While that is fun, I really cant think of it as being really any different from having a female identity on POGO and other gaming sites. I dont know if this is really any question for me, but I guess I would like to know other people's ideas- if you had to choose between dealing with tg issues or something else serious like PTSD, which would you choose? I should mention that while my late therapist was an expert was an expert on transgendered people, PTSD was not an area she was really familiar with. I have decided that learning all of the ways that I have been dealing with life that are abnormal is what I need to deal with more right now. For a number of reasons I cant do both at the same time. This hasnt changed that I am Tanya. I absolutely know that. I just am confused, I guess is the right word. I know this was kind of rambling, but thats the way my thoughts on this are right now. Any thoughts on this would be deeply appreciated.

[Danika140]

Is there a choice? I suffer from PTSD (5 tours overseas) and issues stemming from being TG, both of which I am addressing. Both are serious problems that should be addressed. Not everyone who is TG, suffers from PTSD and vice versa, but I don't think you should neglect one because you feel it may not be as important or serious.

If you were to ask, which is more important to address first, then I would say, which ever is causing you the most grief and daily issues. It's important to maintain your emotional health as much as your physical health, but taking on too much at once could be detrimental to your progress, treatment and confidence.

This probably didn't help much, but just remember, you have to take care of #1 above all else.

[Amy Fakley]

only one comment, and that is that these are not separate things ... if they're both inside of you, they're both part of you. What needs to be treated is the whole you ... not one or another of your individual symptoms, if you get what I'm saying.

You need to be honest and open with your existing therapist. If you don't think this person can handle your gender stuff you need to find someone who can help with both issues.
two cents from the sideline ...

[melissaK]

Yep. Gotta side with a 'whole mind' approach.

I have a history of a dissociative disorder that started in childhood from emotional traumas. The dissociative behaviors and symptoms are shared by some PTSD sufferers, like missing memories (dissociative amnesia) and depersonalization disorder (kinda like a mild catatonic state). It has been suggested that PTSD and DD be combined in the DSM.

I am TS, but not much transitioned, but I have fought my TS desires my whole life. My mind dealt with my inner conflict over TS issues the same as it did for emotional trauma from other sources. My acts of cross-dressing and going to trans gender friendly bars are full of severely incomplete memories. My feelings about being TS get hidden via dissociative events and then I can't deal with it in therapy.

For me, I can't make progress coping with one without coping with the other.

Hope my two cents helps. After a few more posts you will be up to a dimes worth of advice!

[TeresaL]

PTSD can be devastating and lead to suicidal tendencies.




PAUSE

... And so can TG.

[Kate Simmons]

Regardless of the problem, we can't always "fix" it Hon. We can learn to manage it, however, to the point where we are in the driver's seat and calling the shots instead of vice versa.:)

[mikiSJ]

PTSD from Vietnam and being raped when I was 15, but not with CDing.

My PTSD kept boiling and boiling and finally got to the point these last couple of months that I sought counseling. I think I have found someone I can spill my beans with (all aspects including the CDing).

Just like with spouses and friends, find someone you are comfortable with and doesn't need to learn on the job. You time is too valuable to participate in someone's OJT.

[KellyJameson]

I personally believe that we are born TG/TS and the trauma of being this way causes complex PTSD because we stand outside of the norm and this social isolation causes continous stress resulting in cumulative trauma.

No matter how much you are part of a family or community you do not feel connection because everyone else is "wired" differently

This difference than also makes us very susceptible to PTSD from life events so everything becomes entangled where it is difficult to know what came first the chicken or the egg.

[tanyalynn51]

Thank you all. I guess i know that it is impossible to seperate the two, but there are some very specific issues to the PTSD i should have mentioned. Part of the problem that stems from having lived so many years on the streets are some very nasty nightmares of winding back up on the streets with my mind basically gone. I also cant seperate sometimes the danger of working with the homeless from what I have tried to make a totally seperate life. Im sure people are familiar with the expression Gunfighter mentality. I thought that that issue was at least mostly dead, but it all seems to be much more prevalent now, after some of the severe physical problems I have had in the last few years. I guess at times I wonder how I can move on with transitioning when I havent dealt with this stuff and its affecting me so much.

[SuzanneBender]

Tanya,

I am sorry that you are going through all of this, but as you can see from the replies above, many of us can relate. I am being treated for both PTSD, due to a recent paid excursion to the wilds of Afghanistan, and my gender issues. The whole mind approach is correct. The two issues can not be separated. One impacts the other and vice versa. However, be you male or female, you need to deal with the underlying issues of your PTSD. Its hard to advance in your gender journey unless underlying mental issues are also dealt with.

I can relate to the gunfighter mentality. Despite everything that happened overseas I had convinced myself that I was completely okay and that all of the bad things were in my past. I was fine for a few months until I was driving during the summer and the AC was hitting me in the face just like it did in my MRAP. I came up on a bridge and pulled off to the side of the road. Shaking and unable to drive another foot for fear that someone was going to blow my car up at any moment. I realized at that point that all of the gender and marriage counseling that I was involved in at the time wasn't doing any good until I dealt with this larger underlying issue.

The good news is you are not talking years to deal with your issues. Functional PTSD is normally dealt with by understanding that you have been impacted by your past: your fears, thoughts and feelings are real and should be acknowledged; and finally learning how to accept those emotions and successfully navigate your life. I was blessed with a therapist that specializes in helping Soldiers with PTSD and while also being a highly qualified gender identity counselor.

Good luck dear.

[Barbara Ella]

Dear Tanya, these cannot be handled separately, and the whole mind approach would seem best to me. Working out one part of the mental psyche does no good if the other side is still in turmoil. I missed Vietnam in 68-70, but served with a lot of fine people who did serve there, and I can see how your care for veterans is part of your being. Please use your caring, and your life experiences to help your new therapists work with you. Changing people you confide in can be rough. I wish you the best.

Barbara

[Mary Lee]

I served in Vietnam 66-67, Army combat. PTSD, ever present thereafter, got the best of me around 1988 after a divorce, many failed relationships. Add in my cross-dressing and memories of my childhood and came close to disaster. Some homelessness. Years of shrinks and the likes and medication, I am still kicking. A lot of problems wound together and vary difficult to separate and work out.

[tanyalynn51]

one thing i havent thought about in all this is my current shrink may have gotten my former therapist's records. The thing for me after thinking about this now is does she already know? I wouldve thought she wouldve already said something, but then maybe she is waiting for me to bring it up. I know evryone has there own style of therapy, but I wonder if I can figure out without fully bringing it up. Then again, this is one extremely smart lady, so maybe Im just being a bit chicken about it.

[Jorja]

one thing i havent thought about in all this is my current shrink may have gotten my former therapist's records. The thing for me after thinking about this now is does she already know? I wouldve thought she wouldve already said something, but then maybe she is waiting for me to bring it up. I know evryone has there own style of therapy, but I wonder if I can figure out without fully bringing it up. Then again, this is one extremely smart lady, so maybe Im just being a bit chicken about it.

So why are you having a battle of wits with your therapist? Either she already knows about your being TG/TS or she doesn't. Isn't her job to help you identify and learn to deal with your problems? Quit playing around and be open and honest with her. That is the only way you will ever make any progress.

[melissaK]

(Psst, Tanyalynn. Jorja used her mom voice. Whenever she's done that to me she's been dead on right, so you should probably listen.)

[kimdl93]

well, let me say that I don't feel that being TG is an issue or problem. Many people have a problem understanding and accepting themselves as being TG, and that's a different matter. We may not choose to be TG, but its not an affliction. And since a significant percentage of humans are TG, I would argue that its not even abnormal. Its just not average.

PTSD, on the other hand, most certainly is a serious problem...one that needs to be addressed with a competent professional.

[melissaK]

I agree Kim. I don't think being TS is a problem, but how I am treated by third persons over my TS issues does create traumatic stress.

In childhood it was traumatic to have teachers decide I shouldn't play with the girls anymore without my input. That lack of control over a situation coupled with emotional or physical pain is what PTSD is about. Then as an adult, trying to CD and getting publicly ridiculed does the same thing. Then as a married person a spouse saying they will end your happy relationship if you CD or transition in any way, also inflicts lack of control trauma.

So being TG or TS alone isn't a PTSD or DD creator, but they can be involved in the creation of the symptoms, and then all issues where PTSD or DD can come into play need to be looked at. Because symptoms can manifest themselves in a wide array of behaviors, all sources of the emotional or physical trauma need to be considered to deal with the symptoms.

Ok, that's another 2 cents from me. I think I'm up to .06 cents in this thread now. :)