Pythos
12-03-2012, 01:16 PM
I am still alive.
I recently moved out of my mother's finally, which has been good. I am in a place with open minded people, one being a goth. I get to wear what I want when I want. That being said, as great as this is, it may be short lived. My flight instruction job just is not hacking it, and my computer job is also suffering. I am looking at other employment.
I am unfortunately still in the throws of the loss of what was the best relationship I had ever had, and seeing all the big faults that were in it. Which is making me do some soul searching.
As I have stated here before, several years ago I contemplated transition, and those thoughts are going through my mind again. The biggest road block however is that certificate I spent three years of my life, along with the other certificates I made big sacrifices for. If I did indeed transition, those certificates would likely become null and void.
I need to find a job, and I was thinking of applying en fem....but I don't think that is gonna work at all. Especially with all the info you have to give to get a job.
I want to get some therapy, but the problem with that is, the FAA aeromedical branch gets informed of any such "mental work" and that can make my medical invalid.
So as you can see, I am rather lumped. There is also the fact I am 40 years old, and that strikes me as late to do such a huge change.
There are other things I am having to soul search as well.
It really sucks. This time last year I was so beyond happy, but this year....yea. The second half of this year claimed so much from me. First, my chinchilla died, then my aunt, then my computer job laid me off, then the most devastating loss, and that was my relationship, then my flying took a hit. Then as I am driving my bug, the brakes failed. I took it to the shop, and found that the whole system (40 years old) had failed....$1500. This year was gonna try to take my beloved beetle....NO WAY!!! I paid for it. Now if all those other things had not happened, I may have let the bug go, but I would be damned if this year was gonna take something else!!!
I found out that I basically got dumped by my ex....for a rather ugly and mean little troll of a woman, and this has set my gyros assunder. This ugly little mean person hated my guts the first time she saw me and my love kiss, and always excluded me. Yes I know my GF was in the wrong, but her and the troll have been long time friends, and the troll is always nice around her. I am a decent guy and I never deserved what happened. But this is also the 6th relationship that has been torn apart by some other person. Which is why I am doing the soul searching.
So yea. I may post pics from October and November, there were some great oufits those months.
I recently moved out of my mother's finally, which has been good. I am in a place with open minded people, one being a goth. I get to wear what I want when I want. That being said, as great as this is, it may be short lived. My flight instruction job just is not hacking it, and my computer job is also suffering. I am looking at other employment.
I am unfortunately still in the throws of the loss of what was the best relationship I had ever had, and seeing all the big faults that were in it. Which is making me do some soul searching.
As I have stated here before, several years ago I contemplated transition, and those thoughts are going through my mind again. The biggest road block however is that certificate I spent three years of my life, along with the other certificates I made big sacrifices for. If I did indeed transition, those certificates would likely become null and void.
I need to find a job, and I was thinking of applying en fem....but I don't think that is gonna work at all. Especially with all the info you have to give to get a job.
I want to get some therapy, but the problem with that is, the FAA aeromedical branch gets informed of any such "mental work" and that can make my medical invalid.
So as you can see, I am rather lumped. There is also the fact I am 40 years old, and that strikes me as late to do such a huge change.
There are other things I am having to soul search as well.
It really sucks. This time last year I was so beyond happy, but this year....yea. The second half of this year claimed so much from me. First, my chinchilla died, then my aunt, then my computer job laid me off, then the most devastating loss, and that was my relationship, then my flying took a hit. Then as I am driving my bug, the brakes failed. I took it to the shop, and found that the whole system (40 years old) had failed....$1500. This year was gonna try to take my beloved beetle....NO WAY!!! I paid for it. Now if all those other things had not happened, I may have let the bug go, but I would be damned if this year was gonna take something else!!!
I found out that I basically got dumped by my ex....for a rather ugly and mean little troll of a woman, and this has set my gyros assunder. This ugly little mean person hated my guts the first time she saw me and my love kiss, and always excluded me. Yes I know my GF was in the wrong, but her and the troll have been long time friends, and the troll is always nice around her. I am a decent guy and I never deserved what happened. But this is also the 6th relationship that has been torn apart by some other person. Which is why I am doing the soul searching.
So yea. I may post pics from October and November, there were some great oufits those months.