Is 'sexy' a goal?

[audreyinalbany]

I notice in the picture gallery, a lot of the comments are "sexy" and a lot of the photos are what I would consider sexy (especially some of the photos of younger members). For me, the 'sexy' boat sailed a long time ago. And now I go out as a pretty homely fifty-something woman. Maybe this is somewhat akin to the 'passing' vs 'blending' discussion, but I wonder how many here really strive for a sexy appearance.

[Kate Simmons]

I've noticed that as well Hon but in all reality, 95% of being sexy is not about appearance.:battingeyelashes::)

[Lorileah]

yes, it is what I am going for. Blending? nu uh...

[AllieSF]

Well, I would say that I personally strive for a look that I hope I can pull off successfully when out and also happens to be a look I like to see GG's use. So, I am not necessarily age appropriate, at least not as my goal, and am what I consider "looking sharp, good and sometimes a tiny bit edgy". However, if I know that we will end up in an appropriate venue sometime during the evening, then yes, I will try for a sexier look for me, which normally means a shorter skirt, tighter top, shear black nylons and heels (if we are not walking too far!). I am definitely not ready to settle back and watch others and the fun life pass me by.

[Lynn Marie]

Naturally I want to project the well dressed and classy look of a mature woman. Overt sexuality would be totally out of place for me. Sexy for me is always hinted at and understated.

[Shananigans]

Those comments are kind of funny, because it is so severely contrasted to the compliments that I would use to describe my female companions.

But, in general, I think a lot of people like to feel "sexy." I don't use "sexy" so much as a casual compliment...but, I do tell my SO that he is sexy, and it makes him feel good. It makes me feel good when he tells me that I am sexy. And, I think it's funny when my best girlfriends make cat calls or yell "sexy mama" when I may be particularly dressed up for an occasion...but, it might be a little funny to hear it from a casual friend...the compliment would be appreciated, but it would still be kind of funny.

I've had a few friends though that do not like to have attention called to their appearance...they'd probably be very embarrassed if anyone called them sexy. But, in general, it's pretty obvious who is going for "overtly sexy" and may be fishing for compliments that point out what look they may be going for...and, people that are a little more low-key look like they might appreciate compliments that are just more objective (like, "I like your hair in that style"..."That dress looks really awesome on you...I really like the color....where did you get it?"). And, in general, I feel like my compliments usually tend towards the objective side. I know when my friends compliment me, I want to know WHAT they like. It's not like, "OMG...Shannon...you are so sexy"...If I heard that, I might think, "Okay...what makes me sexy? Am I sexy in general? Am I particularly sexy right now? What makes me sexy right now?" And, I think my friends must tend towards wanting the same information, so it's usually a compliment like, "Guurl, you clean up nice!...Look at you with your hair all done up and your wrap-dress on!" From that...I might conclude that my friend liked my wrap-dress and my hair styled in that particular way. Telling me that I look sexy isn't at all helpful. Objective is helpful. And, objective is usually pretty good if you don't want to embarrass the shy, or you are complimenting someone that you don't know well. I might tell my best friend she looks sexy...there's usually more hollering going on if it's a special night (like my friend was trying to look intentionally sexy for her boyfriend's birthday). So, it's probably the "sexy look" that I am going for....but, I am probably subconsciously going for the "sexy" look more often than I think that I am...so, when I get a random compliment about my "naughty librarian glasses," I start to think that my glasses might not actually be as heinous as I thought. But, if someone were to just tell me I look sexy, I'm not sure what I would think...other than that person has randomly deemed me sexually appealing for some random reason. Or, if I were intentionally trying to be sexy (big date, etc.)...I'd probably expect my best friends to harass me a little bit to build up my confidence. It's a weird system...but, there's a system.

[AllyCDTV]

Wouldn't be much point for me in crossdressing if I didn't go for a sexy look.

[Laura28]

Yes for me it is about trying to look sexxy, i try new things and differnt make up, someday i hope to be able to pass and go out dressed and look smokin hot!!! LOL

[Sally24]

When I'm going to the club I usually am trying for a sexy look of some kind. When I go other places during the day I am trying for classy and maybe a little special. I do wear jeans and casual clothes but I don't think I have to dress to be invisible. I still always want to look nice so I'll dress it up with a special top or some pretty jewelry.

[Kathi Lake]

Is sexy a goal? Not for me! :)

Like Shananigans said, I prefer more objective and direct feedback - whether compliments or criticism. It's just more useful to me that way.

I guess the question to me is, sexy for and to whom?

Kathi

[Barbara Ella]

Sexy is very much in the eye/mind of the beholder. I am way beyond sexy time, so that doesn't even enter the conversations i go through with myself. I can understand the comments, even when the poster does not overtly try to be sexy. Some do, and that is fine, that is what some women do, why shouldn't you. More power to those who can.

Barbara

[Frédérique]

Is 'sexy' a goal?

No, sexy is not a goal when I dress. I dress conservatively – the skirts are not too short, the fake breasts are not out to HERE, the heels are either low or non-existent, and the makeup is within acceptable (and respectable) limits. The only person I’m trying to please is ME, and I us all of my skills to avoid a “sexy” presentation – it helps me to suppress my inherent (male) sexual urges…
:straightface:

[docrobbysherry]

Nah! Sherry doesn't dress know how to dress any other way than "sexy". I won't stand for it! So, it's not a goal, it's just how it is!

However, when I'm out in vanilla land, I dress to blend. "Sexy" never enters my mind on those occasions!

Shana, I've dressed in some of the most bizarre, outrages, and even downrite obscene outfits, (or LACK of), at a few private CD events. While I've gotten various "compliments" no one has EVER said I looked "sexy". And, I've never heard a CD refer to another CD as sexy. So, there may not be much different between men and women on the use of THAT word!

[Brittany CD]

Sexy is fun, but when I put on makeup. I try to look like the casual girl and dress as such

[plastex]

Wouldn't be much point for me in crossdressing if I didn't go for a sexy look.

I would have to agree with you.

[Carrie R]

I just try for a kind of "girl next door" look, usually others will project what they think about my look, even if it is something I didn't intend.

[PretzelGirl]

Carrie, I think I need more girls next door then! :hugs:

I don't go for a sexy look. I try and dress nice and appropriate for where I am going. The sexy I am attuned to is in the person in the way they act and the way they interact. So when I dress, I either have it or I don't, but it isn't because of the outfit I put on, it is because of who I am.

[LaraPeterson]

Ally, I'm with you. I've been doing this for a long time and even when I was very young the sexual component was present. Crossdressing does not me happy; i'm happy with no clothes on at all. Crossdressing lets me feel sexy in a way nothing else does. Whether anyone else thinks I'm sexy or not, when I see me in the mirror I see a sexy gal. Otherwise, I wouldn't waste my time.

[brenne]

Sexy's OK - but I mostly want to look pretty and presentable, so I go for more conservative.

[NathalieX66]

Enh, whatever.

I want to enjoy being a woman from a woman's perspective without any aspect of maleness....male libido included. Why? I don't know. It's more than curiosity for me.

[Eryn]

In most cases I don't dress to look sexy. I wouldn't know what to do with a man if I attracted one, and i don't want to have that particular adventure! :eek:

Now, if I am going out to a CDing event, I might dress a bit edgier than I do when I dress for the mainstream. It's fun to rock the higher hemlines and heels but not in the mainstream where they would look odd on a fiftysomething.

[NathalieX66]

In most cases I don't dress to look sexy. I wouldn't know what to do with a man if I attracted one, and i don't want to have that particular adventure! :eek:

Now, if I am going out to a CDing event, I might dress a bit edgier than I do when I dress for the mainstream. It's fun to rock the higher hemlines and heels but not in the mainstream where they would look odd on a fiftysomething.


That's because we all see ourselves as Ferarris and Lamborghinis.

Personally, I like the latest Jaguar sedan....Cadillacs too!

[danielle.cd]

well i like womens clothe and just want them to fit , i find women in workout gear sexxy and evening gowns to so it all depends on what u describe sexxy as , u dont have to be glammed up to be sexxy

[heatherdress]

I think the response of "sexy" is both complimentary and safe to use on this site. Perhaps it is overstated.

I dress for me - and usually part of the enjoyment is my belief that I am sexy and attrtactive - to me. Maybe I need an eye exam, too.

[lauren_m]

I'm a blender. (Wait, what?) I mean, my goal is to blend in rather than to stand out as sexy. Of course, I were younger, curvier, and prettier, who knows, maybe being sexy would be its own way of blending. But as it is, I'm just the soccer mom next door :)

[MonctonGirl]

I would rather PASS than be sexy .... but if I COULD pass being sexy, I would try. I just don't have the face for it.

[Beverley Sims]

Back in the olden days "sexy" came with the rest of the look.
I just looked good, then one day it started to all fall apart.
That is where I am now.

[sometimes_miss]

I've noticed that as well Hon but in all reality, 95% of being sexy is not about appearance.:battingeyelashes::)

That hasn't been my experience. To most men, the visuals are very important. No matter what people like to believe, there are very, very, very few ugly successful strippers. You can be beautiful and not sexy, but fat and ugly doesn't usually work towards being sexy. Sure, there's someone out there that will find even the worst looking person sexy, but to find that person you might have to go through a billion or so. And finding a woman who thinks a homely mid fifties man who is dressed and behaving like a woman is sexy? The proverbial needle in a haystack. Heck, a needle in a whole farm full of haystacks.

[kimdl93]

Not for me. I suppose in some earlier stage in life, dressing evoked sexual feelings, but then so did looking at a Sports Illustrated cover. I really dress to fulfill something entirely separate from sexuality...unless my wife and I have a date night ;)

[LaraPeterson]

You don't need an eye exam hon, you are beautiful!

[Candice Mae]

I usually go for the girl next door look, but it doesn't mean that she doesn't wear lingerie occasionally.

[Ms. Laura]

Just like anyone might, I gotta change it up! Casual sometimes, elegant others, and yes, downright ****ty on occasion.

[Kim Young]

For the camera and in private, sexy is definitely a goal. When going out, as sexy as you can get away with is the goal. So I'll still wear heels but not the 4" heels, maybe something around 2" and a skirt to the knees rather than thighs. I prefer going to higher end shopping malls or in business districts while dressed so I can still dress up. I might stick out more in jeans there than I would with a nice skirt and pumps. Ocassionally, when all I think I can get away with are jeans then that's what I will wear.

So as far as sexy being a goal, yes definitely. 99% of my time is non-sexy time (in drab). When I put on my female persona, I would definitely like to feel sexy whether or not I can pull it off.

[lauren_m]

Kim, with your face and figure, how could you not feel sexy, even in casual mode? :)

[cathie pantyhose]

I wish I could pass as sexy but not dressed fem. at least not with the face pics. I believe I have a nice body despite the lack of fem curves and I believe I have nice legs (all that running, cycling, climbing, etc) but sexy not these days. A few years back and I think I've posted this a few times today already....I posted "sexy" poses while dressed on Flicker but have moved on from those pics. I believe these days I look nice but not sexy

[Traceyjo]

The greatest pleasure I derive from my dressing is the feeling of sexiness so mostly when I dress that is what I'm trying to achieve. Fortunately I have the right body shape to present as a sexy girl so I love wearing tight mini skirts and dresses with heels . As time has passed I've also come to love the feminimity of more conservative dressing when I just want to relax and enjoy being a woman .

[Ceri Anne]

I dress because it feels good, and I do dress to look good. I do find myself complementing other Cds now not with the term sexy, but natural, meaning they present very well. I do like how Shananigans put it, complement something specific. I find I do that naturally, complementing hair, dress, expression as such. I enjoy dressing well, and like to feel sexy when I do, but attractive, natural, girl next door is what I prefer presenting. I see the pics of those who "dress sexy" with overly large chests, popping out, ****ty looking and I don't get excited. My goal is to present as realisticly as I can. That said, when I go out, It's usually in a skirt, dress etc. Because I feel more female. Most of the GG's there are in tshirt and jeans, so I do dress to impress.

[adrienner99]

Sexy is fun, if probably not attainable for me. I go for more subdued looks when out in public. And "sexy" is no doubt something different to everyone...The look I really go for is "feminine," also in the eye of the beholder...

[~Joanne~]

I go for pretty, not sexy. I couldn't hit sexy if it was standing dead in front of me. When I dress I do tend to draw the attention to my best assets, which would be my legs but lately while shopping and such, I look for a more age appropriate look and looks that I haven't tried yet.

[DebbieL]

The answer for me is both yes and no. When I'm out in public, I want to dress appropriate to the situation. Dressing in a very short skirt, 3 inch heels, dark hose, and a satin blouse with jacket might work very well in a club or dance, where all of the girls are dressed to kill, but if I'm in a shopping mall in an outfit, I'm going to be noticed, oggled, then scrutinized, and eventually clocked as a guy in a dress.

I have known numerous occasions where I have been out shopping as Rex or as Debbie and seen some woman who was so hot and sexy I was stunned, but because I spent more time looking at her, I'd begin to notice the Adam's Apple, the knees, the fingers, and realize that she was actually a he. On the flip side, I've seen several people who were dressed far more appropriately and even when I looked carefully, I couldn't tell whether I was looking at a GG or a CD, and didn't know until they spoke. The key here is that I was less likely to look so carefully when they were dressed like the other women in the same area or event.

When I first started dressing, at about 6 years old, I wanted to be pretty, and wore my mom's church clothes. When I was around 11, I wanted to be more like the girls my age or a little older, wearing miniskirts, go-go boots, and sexy shiny blouses. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I didn't go out, so I usually dressed as sexy as I wanted, and felt pretty. When I was married, my 1st wife ONLY wanted me to do it at home, and primarily for sex, so I didn't worry about passing. When I got divorced, I started going out and kept getting read because I was trying to be too sexy. I could stop traffic in New York City on 7th avenue, but they would also look more closely and realize that I was a guy. When I was getting more serious about transition, I started wearing pants and sweaters more in the fall and winter, and wore shorts and tennis shoes or flip-flops in the summer, dressing more like the other girls.

When I want to share pictures of myself, I generally don't share the ones where I'm wearing a skin tight leotard that shows my large rib cage (thanks to child-hood Asthma), I share the ones where I can blouse out the tops to create a more feminine appearance.

Going out dressed takes time, I have to shave face and legs (though I wax when I can in fall/winter), then I have to do make-up, hair, breast forms, and THEN I can start deciding what to wear. It seems like a shame to be wearing the make-up and be all clean and smooth and not show off the legs (my strongest feature), but I know if I show too much in the wrong situation, it will be a problem. Leggings & Boots are better for fall/winter.

Do I wish that I could dress a bit more formally, of course. I'd love to be able to come to work in the kinds of outfits the other girls wear, but that's still not an option at this point.

[FaithGrace]

To me it is all about looking and feeling sexy. I was such a plain, average 'male' for most of my life so now that I can do something to change my appearance through clothes and makeup, I try to achieve that 'sexy' look (sexy, not ****ty) whenever possible, which I've been told I pull off pretty well. I don't sex it up if just going to the grocery store, but if I'm going to a party or out for drinks, I will typically wear a shorter skirt and tighter clothes. Having just recently lost about 30 lbs certainly helps too!

[ArleneRaquel]

I hope that I'm sexier enfemme, but who am I fooling ? Me, likely. In male mode I'm as sexy as Shemp, maybe enfemme I rise to to the sexiness of Ruth Buzzy.

[MsKimiko]

Part of the reason I dress is because I love the way I look and feel sexy like no male clothes ever could. In male attire I have the "man, I look good" feeling occasionally but never the "I feel so sexy" feeling. So yes I dress to be sexy I love the attention it draws.

[Jamie Ann]

I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t have at least some interest in looking sexy. As others have noted, attitude may be as importance as appearance; and the urge to look sexy does not change much with age.

Regarding age, though, I think that emulating teenagers makes up look a bit silly. Someone ≥ 30 probably should try to look like a sexy 30-something, not like the newest teenage pop music sensation.

Also, there is a time and place for everything; but showing off those amazing gams is not appropriate everywhere. Your minister or the family at the next table in a family restaurant might not be thrilled to see you beautiful legs. But there is a time and place for all manners of dress.

[Ressie]

I'm a stay at home CD, so sexy is the goal. Any photos I post here are toned down to PG-13 rating. The one outing I made was more about blending in, and that would be my goal if I were go out in public. Unless of course I was trying to make money!