Does anybody else identify as a lesbian

[Stephanie G]

For the last 10 years of a very happy marriage my cross dressing has become more and more of an integral part of our love life. My beautiful wife fully accepts my feminine side and my lesbian identity. Outside of the home I am a rather masculine male working on our farm but in the bedroom I am all female and only wanting to love my lady. I really feel like I am a lesbian. Does anyone else feel this way?

[LadyPilot]

That is a very good question. I don't really think of myself as a lesbian; although, the clothes adds some wonderful dynamics. On the other hand my wife is somtimes uncomfortable showing affection when we are out fully dressed with hair and make-up because it makes her feel like a lesbian, needless to say it becomes a fine line. End result if I am more than happy to go out with her either dresses or fully dressed depending on what she want. I don't complain either way.

[Kathi Lake]

Well to me, as I am not female, I am not - by definition - a lesbian.

Kathi

[GabbiSophia]

Steph I totally relate to this. I love womn. Even through the years I have always wanted to be with a women even when dressed. It would be nice to be considered attractive to men but that's just not my cup of tea. Congrads on the relationship you have with your wife I consider that very lucky.


Step

[Lady Catherine]

I joke with my SO about being lesbian lovers. I don't actually believe it. I mean, I DO have a penis, so how could I be a lesbian?

[DonniDarkness]

I joke with my SO about being lesbian lovers. I don't actually believe it. I mean, I DO have a penis, so how could I be a lesbian?

Ditto, Lady Catherine.

-Donni-

[Frédérique]

I really feel like I am a lesbian. Does anyone else feel this way?

Have you been listening to Eddie Izzard? He sees his transvested self as a “male lesbian.” Do I feel like a lesbian? Wait, let me check… Uh, no, I don’t feel like a lesbian*. I feel like a male in female clothing, same as it ever was, but I’m really diggin’ it…

*A bit onanistic perhaps, but not a lesbian... :heehee:

[Rogina B]

Rogina would rather kiss girls than boys...so,am I kind of a lesbian?

[Allison Chaynes]

Stephanie, I do. Sometimes the wife is into it, others it's a 180. But yes I feel like it sometimes.

[docrobbysherry]

Steph, and everyone, I've always wondered when CDs say they feel like a woman? Or a lesbian? Or an hedgehog?

How would u know what being any of those things "feels like"? Don't u really mean, "Imagine I'm a lesbian, etc., etc"?

I CAN understand your SO feeling that way, tho!

[SuzanneBender]

The gender thing is confusing enough without mixing in sexuality. My place on the gender continuum goes well beyond being pretty, but at least for now my role with my family is as a male. I love my wife and have never had an interest in being with men, so I don't identify sexually as a lesbian. Many women also leave relationships because although the idea of being a lesbian is "quaint" to us, to them it is a life altering proposal that they find difficult to accept.

[MaryAnn40c]

Hmmm have always thought when I go from male to female would I be a lesbian or straight....born a male change to female hmmmm ....

[5150 Girl]

It always anoyed me when some dumb jock type guy would say "i'm a lesbian trapped in the wrong body" as some kind of a joke. ANd to those who know about this side of me, (and most do) I usualy tell them that they have no idea what the TURLY means untill they have walked the peverbial mile in my shoes.

[sissystephanie]

Although I have been a crossdresser for longer than many of you have been alive, I have never actually wanted to be a woman. So, NO, I have never been a lesbian, nor will I ever be one. I am simply a man who likes to wear feminine clothes!!

[Debglam]

Human sexuality is pretty complicated, especially when combined with the trans! Don't worry about what to call it, just enjoy!

[AlexApp]

Very well said, I could not agree more.
Human sexuality is pretty complicated, especially when combined with the trans! Don't worry about what to call it, just enjoy!


I don't understand peoples fascination with labels. Just true to who you are and don't try and classify yourself.

[Nikki_C]

I thought about this a lot since my college years.
I have concluded that I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

[Beverley Sims]

Years ago some thought my girlfriend and I were lesbians.
Some of the other girls who trid to hit on me did get a surprise.
If they walked up to me, felt me intimately and kissed me I would return the favor. :)
It was fun. I rarely returned the favor if a guy hit on me tho'.

[Erica Marie]

As many of the other girls mentioned as long as we are still anatomically males, we cant really be considered lesbians. The mindset may be that we are attracted to females when dressed so we would assume ourselves as lesbians. I know this is not a sexual forum so I dont want to take this too far and cross a line. But I am truly bisexual, but the twist, only attracted to other males when they too are dressed. So does that make me a lesbian too or just messed up?

[Angela Campbell]

I don't know. Inside I am a girl, and I am attracted to only females. (or at least those who have a very female appearance) Take it for what it is.

[Jenniferpl]

I kissed a girl and I like it. Makes me a lesbian.

[Kate Simmons]

I won't pre-define myself Hon. It is what it is and I am who I am. I mostly identify with who I am as a person, nothing more or less.:battingeyelashes::)

[linda allen]

........ I don't really think of myself as a lesbian; although, the clothes adds some wonderful dynamics. On the other hand my wife is somtimes uncomfortable showing affection when we are out fully dressed with hair and make-up because it makes her feel like a lesbian, needless to say it becomes a fine line. .............

Well, my wife has yet to go out with me when I'm dressed so I can't relate to that, but around the house she has made the comment "I am not a lesbian" when I kissed her. Other times, she has been fine with it, even as far as the bedroom. Go figure!

For me, it's fun making love to her as a female, but in the end, ................................ !

To answer the original post, not actually being female, it's impossible for me to to "identify as a lesbian".

[suzy1]

Some good and interesting answers here.
But for me it’s a simple yes.

And I agree with you Sherry, how can I really know how it feels but does it really matter?

[Jane-C]

If I were to have SRS I'd definatly be a lesbian. Could not put up with a males bullsh.t :)

[Stephanie G]

Thank you ladies for your thoughtful replies. There is another web sight called Gender Fluid (Labels are for Soup Cans - Coming Out). It is a very cool accepting web site but everybody on it seems to be very young and being 66 years old I am more at home posting here. I don''t need a label because my lesbianism is a state of mind - one that I am very much at peace with and fulfilled by. Because of the very rural area where I live and my size (including size 14 feet) I don't go out dressed but if it ever becomes possible I wouldn't worry about what people labeled me. I'd just enjoy expressing the woman in me - like I do at home with my sweet lady when she is my lesbian partner. Really it's all semantics that don't really matter. It's all about being true to yourself and your partner and Mother Earth. Peace from the Missouri Ozarks, Stephanie G

[Stephanie G]

Dear Jennifer, Love your quote. A few years ago I was driving 3 of my best track girls to the state meet and they sang that song repeatedly. I believe that they acted out that fantasy all night because the next day they were horrible at the meet. But they undoubtedly had a night to remember. My wife and I have our favorite kisses - deep ones that we call lesbian kisses. Peace and hugs, Stephanie G

[Stephanie G]

Sister Nikki, Being in a male body in many ways helps me express my lesbianism to my wife - it definitely enhances her joy in loving me. So I don't feel trapped and love using my maleness to express my lesbian love for my lady. Peace, Stephanie G

[dallasmann]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

[Rianna Humble]

I have concluded that I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Sorry, Nikki, this is not personal, I'm just replying to your post because it contains a phrase that is widely abused.

Eddie Izzard says this for comedic impact, but the fact is that a man is not a lesbian. You may like to imagine yourself in a lesbian relationship but that does not make you a lesbian.

[heatherdress]

No - I do not consider myself a lesbian. I am not a female.

[kathtx]

Me: have XY chromosomes and a penis, self-identify as female, attracted only to women, all intimate partners have been genetic women who self-identified as women.

My SO: has XX chromosomes and a vagina, self-identifies as female, attracted only to women, all intimate partners have self-identified as female, all intimate partners but one (me) have been genetic women.

Are we a lesbian couple or a straight couple? Does the label matter?

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

My wife says she could never be a lesbian but that is how I feel when I am in my girl mode. If I were ever to transition I would def be a lesbian but alas I'll just have to dream about it.

[Rianna Humble]

Kath, for me the question is simple and has nothing to do with whether you have one, two , three or no Y chromosomes. Are you a woman or a man? If you are a sometimes-woman sometimes-man, it might get complicated.

If, as I think you do, you see yourself as and are living as a woman, then you can call it a lesbian relationship.

[kimdl93]

I must defer the status of lesbian to GGs who are sexually attracted to other women. Still, I understand why some GGs are reluctant to engage sexually their CD partners as women. If you don't find women physically attractive, hubbie in a lady suit proably won't be all that appealing either. And as a GM dressed as a woman, yes I like the idea of making love as a woman to a woman. But, I can't tell you that's because I'm a lesbian. It could just be a typical male fantasy taken to the next level ;)

[Ceri Anne]

When I'm dressed, I'm definently a lesbian...........not technically, but I'm portraing one. And yes, as Jane said above, if I had SRS, I would still be a lesbian, very few guys are attractive to me, and then not sexually.

[heather1968]

I am on the same page as most replies, If I were to transition and have SRS I would be lesbian without a doubt. I just can't find love in a hair covered body, not to talk about all of the male BS that goes along with it.

[Annaliese2010]

Very much so a lesbian. How I've always identified, thus no interest in dating males contrary to many who are transgendered.

[ArleneRaquel]

No, never, call me a CD or a TS, but not a lesbian. I no way should my post be considered anti-lesbian. Thank You ! :)

[Stephanie G]

Very much so a lesbian. How I've always identified, thus no interest in dating males contrary to many who are transgendered.

I read many of your earlier posts and felt a real connection with your mind. I too am definitely a male to female lesbian. I am very happy with my wife who accepts what I am. I do wonder how my life would have been different if I had figured this all out back in the 60's when I was at Harvard. Because of where I live and my size (particularly my size 14 feet) I only cross dress at home. You seem like the kind of lady I would have loved to be with back in the day. Peace, Stephanie from the Missouri Woods

[Lorileah]

Having friends who are lesbian, I think they would find it rather rude since I am not a woman. Get SRS...then you can identify as lesbian. Until then you are a man who has sex with women while indulging in wearing clothing that is designed and designated for women.

Thus you are a straight male.

and people wonder why the L&G community has a problem with crossdressers.

[Lvjim]

I've been envious of lesbians because they seem to have
Deep relationships. I do view myself as a lesbian to a point.

I get along pretty good with lesbians that i've been around but
being a guy the relationship doesnt go very far

[ReineD]

The words lesbian and homosexual are interesting. They each describe two things: a person's genetic sex as well as their sexual preference. This is not the case for bisexual or heterosexual, which only describe a sexual preference, as do gynophile and androphile. Anyway, you're not lesbian. But you could describe yourself as a translesbian if you like to use the word "lesbian", although this describes a genetic male who has transitioned and who is attracted to women. Gynophile is more accurate, since you do not specify your fundamental and permanent gender identity. If your wife was strictly attracted to genetic women then she would be a lesbian. I'm not quite sure if there is a word for a genetic woman who is attracted to a translesbian. Quasi-translesbian? Transophile? :)

[cdona20]

I think it's entirely possible to identify as a lesbian even with male genitalia. I know I do. But I think the difference is that I am transgendered and completely live my life as female. The only time you could tell I'm not genetic is if you were in bed with me. I believe that most of the people in this section of the forum would not consider themselves lesbian because despite the fact that they crossdress, they still identify as a male and are cisgendered.

[Carrie R]

All I know is I like women, and I sometimes dress like one. Why complicate things.

[missmars]

No. when I dressed and feel love to woman, I didnot suffered guilty of homosexual feeling.

[Sharon B.]

Here we go again defining what sex is, just like Carrie said we dress like woman and most of us like woman why isn't some of us can't say we like lesbian love making.

[ChelseaErtel]

I am attracted to women. But I have never been very sexual or had a high sex drive. I know I'm not attracted to men.

So, being transexual I will still be attracted to women after I transition (I hope to be with my wife but you know the story there...) so I would be l presenting as a lesbian. Right now I'm a genetic male with a female brain.

Remember these are all just words. We are all attempting to describe our feelings on a very complex issue therefore eveyone's opinion is valid for themselves and sometimes others. I love the varied views of ourselves, TSs, CDs, etc. It's one of the reasons I stay on this site.

[Stephanie G]

Ladies, I find many of your replies comforting and positive. I loved Cdona's photos and several other posts were very sister like. One post suggests that I need SRS surgery to call myself a lesbian. What a horrid thought. Really! I am supposed to have my genitals removed so that I can have the approval of ladies who think I offend the lesbian and gay community. Obviously I am not technically a lesbian since I have and thoroughly enjoy my male anatomy - as does my lovely wife. Like I have said many times, for me lesbianism is a state of mind - a feminine soul, a love of all things feminine. You know the X chromosome carries more genes than the Y and gender is indeed fluid. Lorileah dear, I am not a straight male and I don't offend the lesbians I know because I don't hit on them or deceive them. Whatever. Can't we just be at peace? Yes I enjoy getting dressed pretty and making love as a lesbian. Peace, Stephanie G

[ElleduSud]

If you don't have a vagina, you can't be a lesbian.


.... Get SRS...then you can identify as lesbian. Until then you are a man who has sex with women while indulging in wearing clothing that is designed and designated for women.

and people wonder why the L&G community has a problem with crossdressers.


The words lesbian and homosexual are interesting. They each describe two things: a person's genetic sex as well as their sexual preference.

Homosexual doesn't describe a person's genetic sex. It is accurately applied to all sexes when those individuals are only sexually attracted to members of the same sex.

[Jana]

Sorry, not me. Though I'm leaning towards transition, I'm still a heterosexual male.

[Veronnie2]

Interesting post, as for me, I am more bi-sexual meaning i like men, but I also have more lesbian tendancies when fully in my femme mode around other gg/tg/ts/cd's. But i also agree that as long as we have our male parts we cannot be considered lesbian. Veronnie2

[Lorileah]

One post suggests that I need SRS surgery to call myself a lesbian. What a horrid thought. Really! I am supposed to have my genitals removed so that I can have the approval of ladies who think I offend the lesbian and gay community. First, it isn't horrid, many here have or will do exactly that. And yes, in many instances the TG community DOES offend the mainstream L&G community because we are so wishy washy and non-supportive of Gay an Lesbian rights. We also like the perks as in this case where you WANT to be a lesbian and yet, tomorrow you will be a guy who can go about your daily tasks as a guy and not have to suffer the insults and prejudice of being a lesbian You can pretend to be a pilot, but that does not make you a pilot. You can pretend to be a race car driver but that does not make you a racecar driver. You can pretend to be President of the US and if you demand to be called that you will be locked up.
Obviously I am not technically a lesbian since I have and thoroughly enjoy my male anatomy - as does my lovely wife. Like I have said many times, for me lesbianism is a state of mind Ah, thanks for clearing that up, I have so many women friends who don't realize it is just a state of mind. Now one question, when you make love to your wife, do you keep you male bits away from her? If you allow her to do anything with them, then you are a male not a lesbian. If you use your male part to penetrate, you are a heterosexual male
Lorileah dear, I am not a straight male and I don't offend the lesbians I know because I don't hit on them or deceive them. I will remember that when you say you are not gay later. And yes you do offend lesbians when you flippantly say you are one when you have no idea what lesbians go through. You would not say you are of a certain race because you wanted to identify with them. Let me put it this way, one day I was commiserating with an Afro-American friend. Whatever he was saying I said "I know how you feel." he became very indignant and reminded me I would NEVER know how he felt. You, sir, are not a lesbian.
Can't we just be at peace? Yes I enjoy getting dressed pretty and making love as a lesbian. Peace, Stephanie G
You started the thread and asked the original question, if you didn't want want the answer you should not ask the question

[ReineD]

Obviously I am not technically a lesbian since I have and thoroughly enjoy my male anatomy - as does my lovely wife.

In this case, I think it would be perfectly accurate for you to say that you enjoy fantasizing about being a lesbian. No one can argue with your fantasies. :)

[Stephanie G]

Dear Lorileah,
My wife does indeed enjoy my "bits" - a term that seems strangely rude to me. Whatever I say you seem to relish mocking it. Really you did not need to waste words telling me about pilot, race car driver, and presidential fantasies. I thought this forum was for cross dressers to share ideas and support each other, not to belittle honest posts. Almost all the replies I received were supportive and friendly. Many seemed to share or at least relate to my lesbian identity. Many replies also suggested that as long as I have my male parts, I cannot be a true lesbian. I'm OK with that. I just love the joy of my lesbian fantasies that I share with my wife. Why does that seem to offend you so much? My wife and I are very very happy together. We love our gardens, our golden retrievers, our walks in the wood, and our children. We derive an amazing amount of satisfaction from our lesbian love making.
I see that you have made 6777 posts. Hopefully most of your posts have been more positive and warm that the ones you made relating to me.
Hopefully your life makes you as happy and fulfilled as mine does.
By the way we are very close friends with the few lesbians and gays that live in our rural area.
Really I wish you peace. Stephanie G

[Lorileah]

In this case, I think it would be perfectly accurate for you to say that you enjoy fantasizing about being a lesbian. No one can argue with your fantasies. :)

:yt:

Someone here once said "just because you put frosting on your head, it doesn't make you a cupcake", It is flippant to say you are something when in reality you are not.

[max]

So by your definition Lorileah men who have sex with Buck Angel are straight because Buck Angel was born with female genitalia and has not had SRS ?
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3290/2896335920_ed187efe15.jpg

[Lorileah]

So by your definition Lorileah men who have sex with Buck Angel are straight because Buck Angel was born with female genitalia and has not had SRS ?


That would be correct. Just because he looks male, if there is penetrative sex (vaginal) it would be straight. Appearances aside. If Buck Angel has not changed his gender marker it would be straight sex. Unless you know a way to get around that. If you do, then same sex marriages will become a lot easier. Does Buck consider himself gay?

[sometimes_miss]

When I thought I was TS, yes, because I didn't know any better, as I thought I was really female, but was only sexually turned on by females. That changed as I learned more about why I feel like I'm supposed to be a girl. Now, I'm just a straight guy, who's attracted to girls, while feeling like I'm supposed to be one, all at the same time.

[ReineD]

So by your definition Lorileah men who have sex with Buck Angel are straight because Buck Angel was born with female genitalia and has not had SRS ?


I'll weigh in on an opinion here.

Buckangel falls outside of the norms for genetic females, given there is only a small percentage of the overall population that is trans. Buckangel knew at an early age that he was a guy and he has transitioned as far as medical science will allow, given that penectomies are nowhere near as well perfected as vaginoplasties. Buckangel falls outside of what most people think of, when they think "lesbian".

Do we spend hours debating the exceptions at the ends of the population bell curve, just to make a point? Words like lesbian and homosexual describe cis-females and cis-males respectively, in addition to describing their same-sex attraction. As far as I know, people had no clue about transsexuality when these words became widely used in the maintream.

If we want to be sticklers, we could form new words to describe someone who HAS transitioned, and who is attracted to people who are same-chromosome, and opposite-chromosome, once we stop debating about whether we "technically" describe their genders based on gender identity or chromosomes. But if we do this, then we'd have to form new words for each variation of intersex too, wouldn't we (XXY, XYY, etc), since intersex cannot be described as purely male XY or female XX? But honestly, who cares? It's a lot easier to say that Buckangel falls outside of any common labels.

Besides ... there is no comparison between Buckangel and the OP's wife. :p

[Rogina B]

The words lesbian and homosexual are interesting. I'm not quite sure if there is a word for a genetic woman who is attracted to a translesbian. Quasi-translesbian? Transophile? :)

You are quite the labelmaker! lol

[MssHyde]

I feel the same way my attraction is to women

[SandraAbsent]

I'm going to get in trouble for this, but just google the phrase "cotton ceiling," and maybe we can all see how absurd this discussion id. Pretty much most of this thread wreaks of male privilege.

[Yvonne York]

For the last 10 years of a very happy marriage my cross dressing has become more and more of an integral part of our love life. My beautiful wife fully accepts my feminine side and my lesbian identity. Outside of the home I am a rather masculine male working on our farm but in the bedroom I am all female and only wanting to love my lady. I really feel like I am a lesbian. Does anyone else feel this way?

Yes I do. I have long considered myself a lesbian, in a loving relationship with my beautiful and supportive wife. In the bedroom. she knows I like being a girl, and I dress either in lingerie or wear a nightie most nights. We play, role play, and she is happy to make me feel so feminine, touching me in my girlie places and making me feel good. I can't imagine a relationship with a guy. Just so happy to feel like, and be treated like, a girl.

[Stephanie G]

Yvonne, Thank you dear for your post. I love it and it certainly sounds like we're soul sisters. If I didn't live across the ocean from you (in Missouri) I'd love for my wife and I to met you and your lady. Let's be friends. Peace, Stephanie G

[Yvonne York]

Yvonne, Thank you dear for your post. I love it and it certainly sounds like we're soul sisters. If I didn't live across the ocean from you (in Missouri) I'd love for my wife and I to met you and your lady. Let's be friends. Peace, Stephanie G

Yes please Stephanie :-) x

[sometimes_miss]

I'm going to get in trouble for this, but just google the phrase "cotton ceiling," and maybe we can all see how absurd this discussion id. Pretty much most of this thread wreaks of male privilege.

O.K., rather than be vague about it all, perhaps you'd like to explain what exactly you're talking about instead of sending everyone else on searches? Or is being vague your way of trying to be more feminine? My ex used to excel at hinting about stuff but never really getting to the point.

[ReineD]

O.K., rather than be vague about it all, perhaps you'd like to explain what exactly you're talking about instead of sending everyone else on searches? Or is being vague your way of trying to be more feminine? My ex used to excel at hinting about stuff but never really getting to the point.

Googling "cotton ceiling" clarifies it, but it refers to some lesbians who refuse to accept a transwoman's claim that she is is a woman, in other words, the transwoman hits a ceiling where she will never be accepted as a woman in these lesbians' eyes. It's not much different than the way the rest of society sees transwomen, if they know about the transition (hence the need to move away and go stealth). They think of them as men who transitioned rather than genetic women, at least according to accounts by our own post-op TSs here.

[Foxglove]

Words like lesbian and homosexual describe cis-females and cis-males respectively, in addition to describing their same-sex attraction. As far as I know, people had no clue about transsexuality when these words became widely used in the maintream.

If we want to be sticklers, we could form new words to describe someone who HAS transitioned, and who is attracted to people who are same-chromosome, and opposite-chromosome, once we stop debating about whether we "technically" describe their genders based on gender identity or chromosomes. But if we do this, then we'd have to form new words for each variation of intersex too, wouldn't we (XXY, XYY, etc), since intersex cannot be described as purely male XY or female XX? But honestly, who cares? It's a lot easier to say that Buckangel falls outside of any common labels.



What you're saying here makes sense to me, Reine. I think when you throw "trans" or "intersex" into the mix, it changes things. The only sort of relationship I could see myself having right now would be with a transguy. So perhaps I'm "trans-hetero" and "cis-asexual"? It can get a bit difficult, but I'm clear in my mind at this point about what I'm interested in and what I'm not.

Annabelle

[ReineD]

The only sort of relationship I could see myself having right now would be with a transguy. So perhaps I'm "trans-hetero" and "cis-asexual"?

I think it's just simpler to say that you're a transwoman who is attracted to transmen, if you want people to get your meaning without you having to get into long, involved explanations. :)

[Foxglove]

I think it's just simpler to say that you're a transwoman who is attracted to transmen, if you want people to get your meaning without you having to get into long, involved explanations. :)

On this forum you're right. Among your average cispeople, though, it would still be gobbledy-gook. The lengths you have to go to to explain TGism to them, and even then some of them don't cop on. But really can you blame them?

"I confuse people. Therefore I'm profound." Or at least that's what I try to tell myself sometimes.

[Lorileah]

"cis-asexual"? :rofl:

Now that's funny.

[NathalieX66]

:rofl:

Now that's funny........yeah, I agree!

My high school sweetheart (two proms, senior & junior years , baby!)

She has a girlfriend she lives and romances with now, and had I know how to figure myself out back then, I would have certainly figured a way to accommodate.......but that was many years ago, and so much water under the bridge.

[ReineD]

Homosexual doesn't describe a person's genetic sex. It is accurately applied to all sexes when those individuals are only sexually attracted to members of the same sex.

Oops, I stand to be corrected. "Homosexual" technically does refer to everyone regardless of gender, while "gay" and "lesbian" have been adopted to differentiate between the genders. Although, many people do substitute "homosexual" for "gay" (as I apparently did :p).

I should have been more precise with my explanation, but my point was that the OP is not lesbian.

[Jeannie]

Does not wanting to be with another man count? Because I don't like men.

[Lorileah]

Does not wanting to be with another man count? Because I don't like men.

that is mysandry but that thread died almost a year ago

[ReineD]

Well since my soon to be ex husband is a candy @ss and wont transition I'm now with a genetic female girlfriend so yes you can say I identify as a lesbian.

Sorry, but if your ex does not want to transition, maybe s/he is not transsexual? Why is that being candy @ss? It's true that I don't know him or your situation, but don't you think it's a good idea to respect where people are at rather than try to make them conform to your agenda? :p

This holds true for everyone: GGs who want their SOs to transition, GGs who do not want their husbands to be CDers, and M2F CDers who want their hetero GG SOs to be sexually attracted to them as women.

If you're not attracted to men or to gender nonconformists though, I can see why your relationship didn't work, just as I understand why a relationship between a late-onset MtF TS and a hetero GG wouldn't work.

[DanaR]

The words lesbian and homosexual are interesting. They each describe two things: a person's genetic sex as well as their sexual preference. This is not the case for bisexual or heterosexual, which only describe a sexual preference, as do gynophile and androphile. Anyway, you're not lesbian. But you could describe yourself as a translesbian if you like to use the word "lesbian", although this describes a genetic male who has transitioned and who is attracted to women. Gynophile is more accurate, since you do not specify your fundamental and permanent gender identity. If your wife was strictly attracted to genetic women then she would be a lesbian. I'm not quite sure if there is a word for a genetic woman who is attracted to a translesbian. Quasi-translesbian? Transophile? :)
This is interesting, I always looked at myself as a girl. So whenever I was out dressed and someone asked if I was gay, my answer was, do you mean do I dress like this to attract guys? Then I would answer that I liked girls, so I must be a lesbian; which always got strange looks.:battingeyelashes:

[Annaliese2010]

I read many of your earlier posts and felt a real connection with your mind. I too am definitely a male to female lesbian. I am very happy with my wife who accepts what I am. I do wonder how my life would have been different if I had figured this all out back in the 60's when I was at Harvard. Because of where I live and my size (particularly my size 14 feet) I only cross dress at home. You seem like the kind of lady I would have loved to be with back in the day. Peace, Stephanie from the Missouri Woods Oh Steph, so true. And geeze girl, Thank You for your sweet words. You make me blush. :o

I'm so glad for your happy relationship with your wife. She seems to possess a very caring & compassionate spirit. And she must be quite a deep thinker to be able to grasp and appreciate the critical distinction between yourself vis-a-vis your lesbianism vs the vast majority of other M2F transgenderd girls.

I'm always receptive to meeting other transy lezzie's. I know many think it's an excuse or conceit; a form of self deception or even a pretext for 'same sex' fun. Oh so nah-ah. And oh so refreshing to speak with someone like youself who knows how this is simply not the case. EGO reputo effeminatus, proinde EGO sum. :battingeyelashes:

193499

[LaraPeterson]

If all this discussion is based upon what someone "thinks" about themselves, and it must be because the genetic discussion as far as GLBT is concerned must be a discussion of the mind, then labels don't really matter, do they. After all, a simple genetic test, regardless of how your are plumbed or re-plumbed will determine the gender you were born with and the gender you will die with.

Your sexual preference, based upon your genetic makeup, determines which label can "accurately" be applied.

Remember, I think therefore I am. . .I am what? Who the hell knows.

[Rianna Humble]

a simple genetic test, regardless of how your are plumbed or re-plumbed will determine the gender you were born with and the gender you will die with.

You couldn't be more wrong about this. A genetic test will tell you what SEX you were born with. That is completely different to what GENDER you are.

I was born with male sex organs so I was wrongly classified as male. I have a female brain, so no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I could make it through life pretending that my gender matched my natal sex, I failed completely. My statement about my brain is scientifically provable, but unfortunately requires my brain to be removed from my body - so I decline to furnish you with the proof at present.

In the past, people who agreed with your statement tried to force transsexuals to conform via the use of things like electro-shock therapy. It didn't change the fact that their gender and natal sex were in opposition, it merely taught the TS that they would be harmed with society's blessing for telling the truth.

Some religious fanatics believe that they can "cure" transsexuals, the same religious fanatics often believe that they can "cure" homosexuals. They are wrong on both counts. In general the only thing that they achieve is to drive the TS person into suicidal depression.

[noeleena]

Hi,

No matter what is said here, each person will belive what they wont to. regardless of facts or tests or how our bodys are put together, not includeing those of us out side what was thought of as normal., those of us who are different, are just that different,

...noeleena...

[ReineD]

EGO reputo effeminatus, proinde EGO sum.

It takes more than that, I'm afraid. :p

[Lorileah]

Very much so a lesbian. How I've always identified, thus no interest in dating males contrary to many who are transgendered.

:facepalm: Nothing like using a broad brush that has the wrong color of paint on it.

and in response to it...


You seem like the kind of lady I would have loved to be with back in the day.
Does that sound a bit like there may be some interest in "being with"? Hmmm...two TG's...still a "male lesbian?"





It takes more than that, I'm afraid. :p

:yt:
Puto ego sum cupcake, ergo sum a cupcake. I still cannot fathom the flippancy that is still happening here. Accuracy in language must have died with Latin

[Ann Louise]

I suppose that fortunate for me I'm bi. So when I'm dressed I think that makes me = L + G + B + T! I like that! Elfin

[Danielle_cder]

I'm one of these lol i loveee women especially my wife.

[DanielleT]

When I am fully dressed, I am soo much into being a woman, I spend hours and hours primping and preparing until I look just right. I am happy to say that the result of all this that I am quite passable. Am I attracted to other women? Yes most definitely and I would truly love to find one who could willingly accept me for what I am. On the other side of the equation, I sometimes find myself attracted to men and often fantasize about what it would be like to be with one when I am deep into my feminine side. I guess I would say (for right now) that I am probably bi. As my journey continues and I get more bold, I know that I want to try both worlds.

[Sarah V]

A very interesting discussion. For me the answer is very much YES. Sarah/I has always identified as being a lesbian, she loves GG woman (and everything about them), and other TGLadies as well. When I have been intimate with a woman and/or other TWoman, I do try to approach it from the lesbian perspective and my partners mostly have told me they enjoyed not having an overly aggressive male partner.

Intimacy aside, my lady friends tell me they enjoy being able to interact with me as a male, but one who can lend them a sympathetic ear to their conversations, and who (being a male) will offer them the advice coming from a mans perspective, but delivered to them as a girlfriend would. They are constanlty supprised that I have a deep knowledge base about being female / feminine. Something so many men are uncomfortable in discussing or even wanting to engage in conversations about with their wives or so's. When dressed and out and about I always try to present myslef (either dressy or casual) with the personal of a lesbian professional business woman.

[NicoleScott]

Yay. We've succeeded in adding "lesbian" to the already-long list of words we can't agree on defining, like crossdresser, transvestite, transgender, etc.
As long as "words mean what I say they mean", this is unlikely to change.
Clinton started it (it depends on what the definition of "is" is). haha

[Momarie]

Oh Steph, so true. And geeze girl, Thank You for your sweet words. You make me blush. :o

I'm so glad for your happy relationship with your wife. She seems to possess a very caring & compassionate spirit. And she must be quite a deep thinker to be able to grasp and appreciate the critical distinction between yourself vis-a-vis your lesbianism vs the vast majority of other M2F transgenderd girls.

I'm always receptive to meeting other transy lezzie's. I know many think it's an excuse or conceit; a form of self deception or even a pretext for 'same sex' fun. Oh so nah-ah. And oh so refreshing to speak with someone like youself who knows how this is simply not the case. EGO reputo effeminatus, proinde EGO sum. :battingeyelashes:

193499

What exactly does your obviously male legs, awkwardly spraddled have to do with this thread?

[Yazna]

Always I think of myself as a lesbian... the clothes help me to keep alive this wonderful dream of me!where ever i can I'm fully dressed with hair and make-up and Beautiful Sexy dresses like a Pretty Feminine Lesbian would do it

[GroovyChristy]

I would define "lesbian" as a woman who is attracted to another woman. The problem lies in defining "woman." I accept any transwoman, whether pre-op, post-op, or non-op, as a woman, and I would have no problem with accepting her as a lesbian if she were attracted to women and not men. "Woman," in my opinion, is more of a mental and spiritual thing than it is a physical thing. Transwomen are only women who are dealing with a certain set of problems which most women do not have to face. All of this is only my opinion, which may very well be wrong, and is certainly not intended to offend anyone.

Do I identify as a lesbian? No, I identify as bisexual, though usually with a preference for women. Again, for me this can mean GGs or transwomen. The parts don't matter as much as what's inside. In any case, I would second the opinion of those who have expressed that we shouldn't focus on labels. As a wise cartoon sailor once said, I yam what I yam.

[Lacey New]

Well, when I am dressed as a man, I am attracted to women. When I am dressed as a woman, I am attracted to women. If I ever had an opportunity to to do a full crossdressing transformation (on my bucket list), I would still be attracted only to women. But does that make me a lesbian? Who lnows? However, to the best that I could imagine myself as a woman complete with the right parts, even so, right now, I would have to say that I would still be attracted to women. So, I guess I am a hetero male and as least a bi female, and probably a gay female.

Set course for 35 Degrees for one hour, then set course for 215 degrees for one hour - and we will get there

[Billie1]

After this thread came out, I decided to go to the source, so to speak, and ask two close friends who live as a lesbian couple if I was a lesbian when dressed en femme. The answer was, no.

They did not consider me completely hetro, however, so I guess I'm as confused as ever. Oh, well.:D

[Maria S]

For the last 10 years of a very happy marriage my cross dressing has become more and more of an integral part of our love life. My beautiful wife fully accepts my feminine side and my lesbian identity. Outside of the home I am a rather masculine male working on our farm but in the bedroom I am all female and only wanting to love my lady. I really feel like I am a lesbian. Does anyone else feel this way?

I am a lesbian but my wife isn't

Maria

[Mikkigurll]

I have said many times that I am male lesbian. And I've said I'm the only lesbian in our household. To that, my wife gets upset.

[AmyB93]

I said the same thing time and time again. I have always adored the female body and their sexy clothes, and even wear them when I can. I just can't see myself fully with a guy but rather with the ladies. They are better.