"Why" the transition and "how" the transition?

[Inna]

Hmmmmm, I suppose I will throw this one up and see if it will fly......

Why in the world do we attempt the unthinkable, nearly a recipe for demise, nearly non reachable goal of transitioning to a female from perfectly good male Avatar???

And how do we get to make the first steps towards almost unobtainable image of a natural female???

Even though these here questions are valid, and answering them suppose to clarify lots of things, clarity doesn't seem a good criterion for making the attempt at transition. In fact I compare stepping into transition to a blind jump of the cliff, without prior knowledge, how far the fall and if parachute had been packed!

I suppose I will try to answer first :facepalm:

Why do we do it?
At least for me the time had come, when my resolve to hold the pressure within gave in to the need of allowing the expression outwardly and through active means once released there was simply no way to stop it. Did it make sense at the moment? No Way! but the force pushing her onto the world was unstoppable.

How did I imagine becoming a woman?
I did dream a lot, as a child I dreamed every night, I daydreamed in classroom or when I had any time to my self, which came a lot since I withdrew from the boys due to, well, you know what.
Then dreams turned into wishing, and crossdressing and eluding my self as to the image in the mirror being a perfect woman......it wasn't!
Yet despite the cloudy reality of illusion I still believed that I can soon be a normal acceptable female. Thank god for this illusive dream because without it I would for sure not be here to write these here words :)


So, how is it for you?????

[kimdl93]

I can empathize, if not completely comprehend life in the wrong sex. I don't harbor many illusions about how difficult life is for transsexuals nor how difficult the final leap of faith. And I know it doesn't always turn out as one wishes. The insights shared in this forum shed the sometimes harsh light of reality on our dreams and wishes.

[ChelseaErtel]

I can't go two seconds without thinking about transition. The how, when, and if. My wife are still together but I only told her November 1, 2012. There is a lot of adjustment going on and compromise. She knows I want to transition and she knows I need to but that is a big step she may not be able to handle. Certainly not now, but I hope the future will bring acceptance and I can begin.

I just want to fit in too. I think being middle aged helps as I think that I can pass fairly well, or so I've been told by TS's and GG's. But you just never know. I hope that HRT does enough to make me fit in better. I don't want to be a beauty, just a not unattractive female.

The hazards from jumping off that transition cliff is many; job loss, loss of family, loss of friends, MAJOR medical problems as result of GRS, FFS, or anything related to the knife, major expenses, hair removal, my baldness, reactions of others, and on and on. I personally don't care what anyone thinks except family and even then I'm not too sure if it matters beyond my wife and children.

The way I look at it if a friend can't still be friends during and after transition, then they aren't friends. Perhaps that's harsh, but I have had friends go through major life issues (gay, lesbian, etc.) and remained friends. But not every one looks at just the person. TS is hard because it does define us. Ones gender is a part of our very soul and that is why it's so hard for us and why we go through the worse thing that you can do - transition - just because it's such a huge part of our very essence.

I dreamed as a child and adult about being woman only to suppress those feelings - everything told me that it was wrong. I dream it now, but can almost taste it. I was searching for a photo for Chanukah for my work status board and one photo had two lovely nude women on one chase lounge (what that has to do with Chanukah who knows, but you have to laugh at that). Did I get aroused? Nope, I just looked and wanted to look like one of them. I don't want a hard, hot, young body. I'm in excellent health and not at all over weight. But I just want an age appropriate 52 year old female body to call my own.

I will do it because I have to. It's the only way I can be me, the only way I can get on with life and not have to obsess with being a man and wishing to be a woman. How nice it will be to be a woman (transwoman if you will) and just live.

Just live life - that's why. To NOT have this weight of being in a man's body.



Ok, now I have to stop and go scream........................Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Why,.....

Transition. never did it, nore could even if i had wonted to. mind you i would not be able to change from what i am to something im not. maybe surgery would have to be so drastic that it would kill me, oh well that would be the end probs all over,

Some of us cant transtion because of how we are born .

Never thought about how could i be a female or woman. What i mean is when your born being a mix of both theres this maleness about you. then the femaleness that is part of you, how do you think. whats your makeup like what do you think about, maybe for me it was my programe was already in place,

I have thought about what is a real man, or male, i dont know because i was not born with that & can not relate to or with men , though i will say im very much better at interacting with men ,& thats really it,

The other point is i would have to say people find that im an interesting person my background is quite different, so im not a bore, so that has helped,

The other part as to being a female well again born with that part of my makeup, not compleat of cause, when i was young i did think for a moment why i did not look quite like a girl , what i saw was long hair softer faces & breast's , that was it never thought about it again, yet i knew i was female just not in every way.

Well as a kid many things did not impact me so i missed in my thinking as it should have been, things happened i can not account for, Hospital was a home away from what should have been my safe place, home. i ran away from home there was a reason Mom just told me i did, years latter, never found out why. its so buryed so deep.

Over my life i learned , grown to be strong because of many issues, so in a way my life was easy & very hard, yet it helped in a way that would stand me in life latter so was not a waste . i have grown in to being a woman so i did not change into one i had what i needed my makeup has shown that in many ways through my life,

So of cause knowing im intersex was what really helped me long term helped me get through the learning process of life ,& thats why im a very strong woman to day, a bit different yes i know yet i dont know any other way of how i should be,

im happy content & live life to the full.& whats ...most.... importaint , is , im accepted for who i am both as a person & as a woman.

...noeleena...

[Jana]

Why in the world do we attempt the unthinkable, nearly a recipe for demise, nearly non reachable goal of transitioning to a female from perfectly good male Avatar???

The million-dollar question. I have a perfect male avatar. But I'm sick of it. It never represented me as I feel inside. Yet, it is my only connection to the world as I know it. Hence, the hesitation. To jump off the "cliff" towards transition or not... dunno.

[Sarah Melviden]

For me, the why is undeniable. I have felt, strongly, that my body was wrong, since age 3, and my own mother has even pointed out that I have a "natural affinity" (her word choice, not mine) for being "weird and girly" (again, her words). I don't think I need to bring up the psychological consequences of being in a constant state of depression and confusion on the subject of why my equipment is what it is. The scientific explanation of "You have this thing called a Y chromosome, found in every cell of every tissue in your body" does nothing for me.

Still working on the "how?" but I am quickly moving out of my house to live with a friend who is out-of-state, not entirely by my own choice; my mother helped me realize, by reacting negatively, that none of my family will be able to stand with me throughout the transition. This will be the first step toward realizing my goal of finally being a woman.

[elizabethamy]

So, how is it for you?????

It's like this: I never even imagined it, didn't understand why I always felt "not right" my whole life; never dreamed of being a girl or a woman, but always seemed a loner even though an apparently friendly sort...at times, now that I know, I imagine transitioning; but I also imagine somehow taking the knowledge I've gained about myself and somehow living well inside the male body to which I'm so accustomed...now that the source of the problem has become apparent to me, I don't really know how to find out the answer to the "why", "how" or even "whether." Somehow I feel inside that if I were to take a few first steps that it would indeed be like jumping off a cliff, and that if I don't take those steps, I can somehow return to solid ground. But neither the way forward nor the way back are visible to me, most of the time. It's more like one day, and the next, and the next, equally surprising in thought, let alone action. It's as if I am both and neither at the same time.

elizabethamy

[Inna]

It's as if I am both and neither at the same time.
elizabethamy

Love this!!! How true.......