Finding a crossdressing friend.

[amytrans]

Purge Purge Purge Purge Purge

[xdressed]

I found someone on deviantArt who happened to be a crossdresser who doesn't live that far from me. My band played their 21st birthday party a few days ago. That was just lucky though I think, as dA is an art site and not specifically about crossdressing. There are sites out there where you can search for crossdressers in your area but very few people on them are looking for friendship

[Confetti]

Amy, I missed my cd friend so much I joined a site.It had the mix lunatic to amazing but, nobody replaced dear friend.For every sweet person there were many more unstable. The last person I met was the end of this, he was very closeted and we never did anything enfemme on the out side nor took pictures due to fears after we stopped speaking sends a letter accusing outing,we live in different states and I reconnected with my ex ...I let him go because it was nothing like my dolls I still speak to more like a person who needed help. Looking back which is good to do, in his male mode would never have hung out in the first place and in girl mode would have prefered helping the get ready process which was what I was looking for in the first place . As much as you may want a friend for dolling up and clubbing, it seems to me taking the time to like and know who your dealing with is even more so important.

[Melissa73]

ive been closeted 39 yrs and only in the last 2 months, have i been looking for friends. Ive made contact, but not "met" anyone left! But i still keep hoping ill meet someone i can befriend, and discuss dressing w/, and shop ..


melissa

[Ambergold43]

Yep, I find it can be lonely... I'm in the same boat as you: my GF is supportive and understanding, but doesn't really enjoy or encourage me to dress-up. It'd be nice to be able to meet a friend or two to hang out with... aaaaand maybe share clothes/shoes?

[HannahF6]

Yes indeed it can be lonely. I have been fortunate to find three local crossdressers (one is no longer a crossdresser, she had SRS and is now clearly a woman). I've met them to go shopping, walking in local parks etc.

Hannah

[daphne_pynk]

i know how you feel i'm still looking myself. I agree with Confetti that not only do you both have to be dressers you also have similar tastes and interests outside of dressing and be in a similar spot in life, closeted, not closeted. super hard to find. but i'm still looking.

[Karren H]

I know for a fact that there are a lot of girls out there that want be your friend.... just make sure your on the same page as to what the definition of friendship is before you go down that path.... And I have dressed with a couple local girls before.... and it really didn't do anything for me.... Personally I'm not lonely and enjoy the fact that this is the only hobby that I'm totally in control of..... I love going out enfemme alone.....

[AllieSF]

Amy, when I started dressing I knew immediately that I wanted to, and probably needed to, go out in the real world to enjoy it. So, my first quest in all this was to find a person with a similar desire for going out and nothing more. It took some time but over the last 5 plus years I have met some wonderful people (most from this site), most of whom I have met both in male and female modes. Yes, it is important that you are all on the same definition as to what a companion in crime, sidekick, or whatever you like to refer to each other as is in order to avoid unnecessary awkward moments that may significantly alter or destroy the friendship.

How to find a friend to me is easy. Start being a friend to everyone, be proactive in finding someone who lives near you or travels to where you live with whom you can meet, male or female mode, first to see if there is some type of initial connection, reach out to others and go to local meet ups even if the overall scene is not one you like. You can always network and maybe find a few fun and trusting friends. It takes work, will probably not overnight and in the end is well worth the effort.

[reb.femme]

Hi Amy,

I'm trying the local Beaumont Society meeting this weekend (web page is down at the moment) so was wondering if they may have a group near you. Desperate to get out more myself, I'm hoping that I get to meet some like minds in a more open environment.

I'll post up after Saturday night on my experience.

Rebecca

[adrienner99]

I think this site goes a long way toward dealing with the lonelieness problem. But finding the exact person who "fits" with you, or any of us, can be very difficult I think...I have been to a couple of CD group dressing sessions and while they were great, finding a real connection did not happen...and I have dressed with a couple of girls at my home, too, and that was not quite right, either....even within the CD "family" there are a great deal of varying interests....I hope you keep looking, and find someone...if you ever want to chat about anything girly please feel free to email me....

[Lynn Marie]

I was quite fortunate a couple of years ago to be contacted by another CD who lives an hour away. She introduced me to a LGBT friendly club about 40 minutes in another direction and from there I managed to make about a dozen friends here in the PNW. I've also joined a TG support group in Seattle and making a bunch more friends. There's a ton of CD's out there hiding under every rock, and a bunch more like yourself getting out and ready to make friends.

Post your location and invite other CD's to contact you. Pretty soon you'll find one who gets out and will come by and visit and open a whole new world to you.

PS. I also have a CD girlfriend who loves to go out on her own. Been doing it for decades. She also will occasionally come to our local club and parties. We just never go out together for anything else though!

[paulinescotlandcd]

I don't know where you are in Scotland but there are meetings in Buchlyvie, Dunblane and Perth. Just message me for details. Get in quick you might even consider going to one of the Christmas dinners ;)

[Fiona K]

What Pauline said. There used to be the monthly gathering in Kinghorn in Fife at Hide 'N' Sleek but TBH I haven't been in ages. A bunch of us regularly head out to the Polo Lounge in Glasgow's Merchant city, next date is 21st Dec for Xmas.
There are quite a few of us out there and I have not yet been propositioned by an other TV....... ;)

[Fiona K]

Well you know we're here now Amy. Only you can know how you feel and what pace you want to take.
Changing is always a problem, I have the same issue regularly. A local freind provides me a mirror and some changing space before we head out.
You just missed the Miss TV event in Dunfermline back in October (google it for more info) and of course the biggest thing on the T calendar in the UK is Sparkle in the Manchester Village each July. Often used by many for their first outing, when you're one of a thousand or so you tend to just blend in and feel lot less self conscious :)

[windycissy]

I echo what Allie says, and count myself blessed to be one of her friends. Try this: when you find a post or answer to a thread from someone on the forum who seems sympatico, check their location and eventually you'll find someone who lives near you, so send her a private message asking if she'd like to hookup sometime? You won't bat 1.000 but eventually you'll find a friend, this is how I got started

[Bree Wagner]

I'd say I'm always on the lookout for friends. I'm in a similar situation where my wife knows, understands, and has gone out to dinner with me twice, but doesn't really want to do anything else (i.e. shopping). Going out alone can be tons of fun, but having someone there to chat, provide a second opinion, and, as I found out recently, zip you up could be so much better. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled and my ears open for people who share my interests and definition of friendship as I bet you'll be doing.

Good luck!

-Bree

[Tracii G]

Contact the LGBT office in your area and see if they have a local CD/TG support group.I found quite a few that way.

[Eryn]

I was lucky enough to meet a very good friend through this forum. We, and our spouses, get together quite often for adventures, shopping trips, or simply for dinner or a movie.

I value this friendship highly because, out of all my friends, this is a person who truly "gets it." If a pretty pair of shoes walks past there is no need to filter my thoughts as I would with Muggle friends. We can just relax and be ourselves regardless of mode.

[moniqueCD21]

Still looking for that friend haha. Its not something brought up in normal conversation that I just ask people "Hey are you a CD?" lol, I wish it was that easy.

[Oilpainter35]

Just the same as others. Always looking but never able to make that connection. I would love to have a coffee and chat. Get to know someone with the same interest and situations as I have been in or will go through. Always nice to have a go to person. Anyways, thanks for allowing me to make the statement, and if you care to, write.

[Erica Marie]

I too have been in search of a friend. Attempted to contact a few in the area but so far they are all out in left field. So many want to stay hidden or aiming for sexual contact. When u mention shopping and make up and hair they seem to disappear. I have been closeted for over 28 yrs and it is time for me to make the venture out into the world but am just a bit afraid to do it alone. It would be great to have a cd or gg friend who can help with the fine points of completing my look and who would be willing to spend a day out and about.
Alone in WI
Mellissa

[satinfeelsgreat]

Greetings from devon cornwall border in uk

Does anyone find crossdressing can feel a bit lonley at times, my wife knows and understands but doesn't wish to join me dressed.I'm wondering if anyone else has found through the internet any crossdressing friends with whom they meet up and can crossdress in private. It's just I'm not sure my wife would be too keen on this though, I don't want anything sexual just friendship with someone who also crossdresses and I can visit to have a glass of wine and a bit of a blether (chat) :)

[Angela Campbell]

I joined a group in my area and we not only have meetings once a month but we also have outings fairly often. Going out to restaurants, clubs, shopping, all sorts of things. It is nice because it is not only crossdressers it also includes some GG's as well.

[diane_burf]

I have been dressing for a long long time now and about ten years ago I finally decided to go out one evening just for a drive. So I got all dressed up everything waited until dark and backed out of the garage (what a rush that was) then truned on the main road and went out in the country about 10 miles on the new highway. Turned off of it and went out to one of the many park areas near my home drove in to that park and like most times in the early fall no one was park so I did. Got out and went for a little walk about the time I came back to the car I could see the headlights of someone else driving in I was close to my car and just hopped in. Started my car up and back out of the space I was in. By that time I could see the other car was a county sheriff I just making his rounds I suppose I just countinued to drive out of the park made my turn onto the county road, and went back home. I was one of the biggest rushs I have had. When I got home there was an e-mail from a gal I had been chatting with for quit a while she was from a city way north of me and wanted to meet sometime. I do go up that way for some fishing so told her I would make a trip up her way very soon and would get back to her with the dates. I also told her that I had just gotten back from my first time out. She wrote back the next day saying she would look forward to my coming and that I should bring some clothing along with me. About two weeks later I did do just that. We met and she was so much fun just talking to her I knew that we had a lot in common. I did go on to the cabin the evening I dressed and went back to her town she had a place she goes to a lot so went there and had a very nice dinner. We drove to a bigger city about a hour away and went to a bar with a lot of folks like us there as well it was a blast. All this to say that I have a good friend and a lot of contacts because of her making it possible for me to get out and enjoy my hobby. diane-burf

[cathie pantyhose]

Ive wished I could be less nervous to meet others while dressed. Ive tried to get the courage. I did once meet a cd while living in Atlanta a couple years ago for lunch but we both showed up in guy mode which we agreed to. She was great but I've since moved back to Colorado and haven't made the courage again. I had a ggf who loved to have me dress up and a bf who loved it as well but he didnt dress up. He was gay and just enjoyed the excitement but that was 18 years ago and during my first marriage. Of course my current wife is not as accepting of me dressing but she knows and is still here so I guess I'm lucky. I would love the chance to just be with other CD's as it can be a bit isolating but that's why I'm on this site. At least writing things out helps and if I help someone else along the way, cool.

[TheCommoner]

Finding someone I can cross dress with is definitely something that everyone needs at some level. I have a wonderful and supportive wife and great friends, but It would be nice to share tips, and to go out on the town with who share my interests and situation.

[Loni]

are there any social groups with in 100 miles of were you live?

some are more "open" then others as in there is one very small group trying to get started close to me, a lunch styled thing. but sad for me i work weekends.
if i could get sat off work i would be in with them.

sadly most out there just do not know or are so afraid to try to get out. this hurts all of us, as the world at large only cares about getting off work and going home to relax and sleep.

i do hope you can find your support group, and new friends out there.
a quick search shows a number of groups in scotland.

good luck.

loni

.

[Leslie Langford]

I find it interesting that most of the responses to the OP's original question center around finding another CDer to hang out with and for mutual support. I must be the odd duck here, then, as this holds no particular interest for me.

That said, it's one thing to bond anonymously with other CDers on forums such as this to share life experiences, give and solicit advice, and to find solace in the fact that one is not alone in this strange trip. But whenever I am out and about in "Leslie" mode, I try to blend in to the best of my ability but let's face it - when one is out in public with a bunch of other crossdressers, the odds of being "read" and possibly attracting negative attention increase exponentially with the number of people in the group. Others might be O.K. with that, but it is not my cup of tea.

My holy grail would be to find a GG who could be a BFF to me, and who would do "real" girl stuff with me in the way a "gal pal" would. Not for the purpose of having an affair, and nothing sexual (I am deeply committed to my marriage) - just a platonic relationship and someone to go shopping or have a "girl's night out" with in a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" kind of way as Cyndi Lauper puts it in her iconic song.

I have come close to that with the GG make up artist that I see on a semi-regular basis, and part of the fun of these makeovers is for me to be treated just like any other GG customer of hers while I am there, along with the requisite "girl talk". Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...:daydreaming: :heehee: ;)

[Leslie Langford]

Well now - that's quite the fanciful and imaginative scenario you're painting here, Purple - and more power to you if you can pull it off ;).

You're a musician you say? So maybe...smoking weed is part of the picture here and pretty much a "given"? And your forum name is Purple? As in "Purple Haze"? Hmmm...I think I'm starting to connect the dots here ;) :eek: :heehee: :doh:.

[Leslie Langford]

You're clearly in a happy place, Purple, so all I can say at this point is - You go girl! And thanks for the invite - I wouldn't mind tasting some of that "feel-good" Kool-Aid myself ;).

[Ceri Anne]

I have a friend I found on Craigslist. Most people there are really just after sex though, and thats not either of our goals. Anyway, I've found more friends from here, and find they are all around me. I have also gotten a number of friends while I have been out dressed at local lgbt clubs. Again, not looking to pick people up, but to meet and have fun. Good luck.

[Leslie Langford]

Whatever happened to that vaunted "Southern Hospitality", your Purpleness? You're making me feel like the ugly step-sister now. And just to let you know, I don't do potatoes, pots and pans - or windows for that matter. Too hard on the manicure, actually. A girl has her limits... ;).

[Kayley]

Part of joining the group is to at least have virtual friends if the real ones are not available. That being said, it would be very nice to have someone to go out with in the real world. Kind of a wingman. They watch your back and you watch theirs.

[Loni]

I find it interesting that most of the responses to the OP's original question center around finding another CDer to hang out with and for mutual support. I must be the odd duck here, then, as this holds no particular interest for me.

That said, it's one thing to bond anonymously with other CDers on forums such as this to share life experiences, give and solicit advice, and to find solace in the fact that one is not alone in this strange trip. But whenever I am out and about in "Leslie" mode, I try to blend in to the best of my ability but let's face it - when one is out in public with a bunch of other crossdressers, the odds of being "read" and possibly attracting negative attention increase exponentially with the number of people in the group. Others might be O.K. with that, but it is not my cup of tea.

My holy grail would be to find a GG who could be a BFF to me, and who would do "real" girl stuff with me in the way a "gal pal" would. Not for the purpose of having an affair, and nothing sexual (I am deeply committed to my marriage) - just a platonic relationship and someone to go shopping or have a "girl's night out" with in a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" kind of way as Cyndi Lauper puts it in her iconic song.

I have come close to that with the GG make up artist that I see on a semi-regular basis, and part of the fun of these makeovers is for me to be treated just like any other GG customer of hers while I am there, along with the requisite "girl talk". Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...:daydreaming: :heehee: ;)

i had understood this was what she is looking for. but as for finding other people, now there is the 64 million dollar question.
i am a loner by life, but i just get out and talk to any other, can be fun and the people one can meet. sad only a short time, not long lived friendships.

.

[gracee]

I enjoy all my guy friends as a guy, but you know what would suit me fine? Finding one who wouldn't mind my dressing up when we're sitting around shooting the sh*t, popping beers, watching TV. Maybe even he could put his arm around my shoulders, brother-like, and say Hey it's okay Gracee... And then, if I could get him to try on women's clothes, just to see how a non-CD reacts to the feel and the situation, well -- WOW!

But that would mean a one-by-one query of all my friends and I'm just not gonna go there. So... back to square one. At least until I figure out a way to phrase the question. Ideas?

Oh, and my SO is gone gone gone.

[LauraBird]

I'm fortunate enough to have a very supportive wife (intro post coming soon I promise) and I guess the only aversion I would have to finding a CD friend would be that we might stick out more with two of us than one... Self conscious as it is and have only been out a small handful of times. Still might be interesting I guess? I think it'd probably be best if it were another couple, so my wife would have someone to lean on and share with too, ya know?

[FaithGrace]

I went through meetup.com and found a couple transgender groups in my area that I have recently become a part of. I've met up with a few very encouraging and helpful girls so far and am looking forward to a couple meetings/Christmas parties next weekend. Personally, I have found that I am much more comfortable being with another girl, or group of girls than I am by myself. Me and 2 others met at a sports bar last night for a few drinks and had a great time. Nobody bothered or harassed us at all and a few (genetic) girls came over to say hi and offer their support. It was a wonderful feeling to go out and feel accepted!

[Sophia Frances]

being that my wife does not know I CD, I would feel like I would be cheating on her by going out without telling her. I already feel like I am cheating on her with another woman....that woman being me...by not telling her. I would like to make a CD friend though...it sounds and feels like it would make life easier and more fun, but I have found this site to be very helpful.

[NathalieX66]

I started out with Sigma Nu Rho, the NJ chapter of Tri Ess, wich is afiliated with New Jersey Support Group, which is an all-inclusive TG support group, met lots of friends at Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania (rhymes with Transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania...the song from the movie RHPS). , and somehow we all seem to run into each other at the Raven, in New Hope, Pennsylvania.
And i met more of you on this forum at Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, Georgia.

My girl Facebook page helps too.

[ReineD]

... I don't want anything sexual just friendship with someone who also crossdresses and I can visit to have a glass of wine and a bit of a blether (chat) :)

You might consider joining a transgender support group. Here are some resources for Scotland:

http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/listings/groups.html#Tra
http://www.spanglefish.com/SwansofScotland/links.asp

You can google your specific area to see what else there is. My SO joined a support group in a city two hours away, that she attended every few months or so for years and years. It was of immense help to her. We still go occasionally (the good groups allow the spouses/girlfriends to come), and we always have a wonderful time visiting with old friends when we go. Many of the groups have rooms available for people to change in, if they do not yet feel comfortable going out in public dressed.

[Kristyn Hill]

I am drinking and smoking and that was all some fun stuff to read between you two ladies. Very creative writing Purple. I imagine you have written 1000's of songs.

For the record, I enjoy both of your post.

[DanaR]

...............................................My holy grail would be to find a GG who could be a BFF to me, and who would do "real" girl stuff with me in the way a "gal pal" would. Not for the purpose of having an affair, and nothing sexual (I am deeply committed to my marriage) - just a platonic relationship and someone to go shopping or have a "girl's night out" with in a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" kind of way as Cyndi Lauper puts it in her iconic song.

I have come close to that with the GG make up artist that I see on a semi-regular basis, and part of the fun of these makeovers is for me to be treated just like any other GG customer of hers while I am there, along with the requisite "girl talk". Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...:daydreaming: :heehee: ;)

Leslie, I can totally relate to you on this. I used to attend the Esprit Convention, in Port Angeles Washington, and made friends with some of the local GG's. They would take me out bar hopping and over the years I became good friends with one of them.

Whenever I was in town, Teresa would come down and visit and we would talk on the phone other times. She would invite me and some friends up to her house and we would visit. She brought her boyfriend down to meet me, before they were married, and we still talk once in a while.

What I have found that some GG's want more than just a friendship; which I couldn't provide. After Teresa got married, she moved out of town, but we were still able to go out once in a while with some of her friends. After a couple of years, she stopped going out, but I did with her friends; which after a while, one of them started getting real possessive of me. She almost was stalking me when I was in town. The end came when she told me that I needed to leave my wife, because she could cure me of my crossdressing. After she told me this, I talked to Teresa and told her that if I left my wife I would probably go on hormones; which wasn't really true, but it served it's purpose. I made a point of not being around her when I was in town. If I was out with anyone and a GG was there, she would challenge the GG because of her jealousy. I had to finally stop going to Espirt; which was about 5 years ago.

BTW, I've always been upfront with them about my wife, and my wife has been fine with me being friends with them; which I find a lot easier than lying to her.

[Fiona K]

Kinda missing the OP's point to make a point?
The listings don't include the country in which Amy actually lives, which is why Pauline and I responded earlier. Not everyone lives in the US.

[ReineD]

Kinda missing the OP's point to make a point?
The listings don't include the country in which Amy actually lives, which is why Pauline and I responded earlier. Not everyone lives in the US.

Fiona, if you're referring to the links I posted earlier, they were the TG groups that I found in Scotland.




Heck, she even seems to almost forget that I am not a real GG when she starts to veer into TMI territory including confiding in me regarding her past struggles with depression, and how going through menopause is such a bumpy ride for her.

Now if only I could find a GG "gal pal" along the same lines to accompany me on my outings as well as appreciate what I could bring to the table from a CDer's perspective...:daydreaming: :heehee: ;)

Leslie, if you want to have an emotionally close and platonic friendship with a GG, you can. I've had many such relationships throughout my life with members of both sexes. I don't divulge deeply personal things to random strange men, but I've had male friends who have been intimately aware of the joys and struggles in my life, including menopause, depression, etc. And these relationships were purely platonic ... I mean, this is what good friends do. They talk about things that are close to the heart. One of my son's all time best ever friends is female. She has a bf that she is happy with, but she and my son go a long way (primary school) and they can stay up all night talking about all the things that either of them would talk about with members of the same sex. I'm saying this, because you really don't need to be dressed in order to have this. If, however, you want any of your good female friends to accept your cross-gender expression, then this is a different matter than just being good friends with someone and sharing intimate aspects of your lives? I mean, the things you talk about to a good female friend would be the same whether or not you are dressed?




What I have found that some GG's want more than just a friendship;

This can also be true and my SO met one GG like this. While several GGs were quite willing to accept and support my SO's cross-gender expression (albeit more casually since they didn't hang out enough to become best friends), one in particular had her eye on my SO, and even though my SO could not feel this, I felt all kinds of bad ju-ju coming from this GG. Believe me, a girl knows when someone else has designs on her partner. :p She was actually motivated by collecting adoring (male) fans for her magnificent self. lol I hated it when my SO would meet this particular GG without me. We just don't talk about her any more. :straightface:

[nicolecd]

Hi amy,im in same boat as yourself.i would love to meet another crossdresser
To share my crossdressing with.would be great just to meet with sum1 like
Yourself,just to chill when dressed and relax.im in the glasgow area if you fancy
A chat.would love nothing better in world to spend time with fellow crossdresser
And help with dressing and make up.get in touch.xxx