B*tch as a compliment

[DeeArel]

I am drawing near to the end of a two week work assingment on the road. I managed to complete the projects at noon today with travel scheduled tomorrow. Since I was done early, I decided to head partially home and stop in Nashville for the night instead. I could do some shopping in drab prior to the arrival at my hotel to save time.

According to my plans, I arrived there midafternoon and headed to my favortie Chico's Black Label store. Stumbled upon a fantastic jewelery sale. However, my primary purpose was to visit White House Black Label in hopes of finding their new black fringe dress in my size.

While in Memphis over the weekend, I had gone to WHBM for some shopping and found two dresses that apppealed to me. I went to try them on to ensure the correct size and that they would flatter and enhance my limited figure. While trapped in the dressing room, the SA kept bringing me more dresses to try. Since she was twisting my arm I obliged with no intention of getting any of them. Then, she brought the black fringe dress. As it slipped down my body, the feeling said buy me even before I looked in the mirror. But alas, it was not my size and they were out of it. Hence, my mission in Nashville.

Unfortunately, the WHBL store in Green Hills did not have my size. They called another store in the area and my size was there. So off I went, and purchsed it.

This 20 mile extra excursion put me in the begining of rush hour going there and smack dab in the middle of the main gridlock on the return portion and heading to the hotel.

My plans were to shower, shave, paint, and dress. Without the side trip, I would have been out the door between 5 and 6. Instead, it was knocking on 8. I went to Opry Mills Outlets and was planning to do some serious looking at a list of stores and maybe a purchase or two. By the time I entered the mall it was 8:15. Time for at least one store. WHBM outlet was my primary target. They have had some fantastic prices in the past.

As I am walking through the mall, I am passing those kiosks in the middle that sell who knows what. When all of a sudden, a young lady at one of them approaches me. She had been trying to get others that were ahead of me to stop but all kept walking. I figured I would say no thank you as the others and continue on to my destination. For some reason, she would not take no and leave me alone. So finally, I tell her I am tight on time and must go. As I get about 15 feet away, I hear her say under her breath, "You B*TCH!"

WOW. It struck me and I felt great. I thought now that is a genuine compliment. I was beaming the rest of the night and still am.

It must have showed. I had fantastic service at WHBM outlet and found a bustier top and dress. Tried on a multitude of items that were keepers but funds must be used wisely as they are not unlimited.

It was approaching 9 as I paid for the items. So, I was not able to get to all the stores that I had planned, but it did not matter, I was glowing.

Then, it was on to the final destination of the night, The Lipstick Lounge.

I am not a very outgoing person no matter what mode I present. Usually, I will have one or two people that talk to me briefly.

Tonight was different. At least fifteen people approached me with extensive conversations occuring with several of them. I have always known that when you glow it attracts others.

So, that young lady with her unintended compliment has made my evening and probbly the next two weeks.

Here is the out fit that I am wearing.

[Maria in heels]

And I'm sure that that mall rats comment made you feel good! I know that I would have appreciated it. Sounds like you had a great trip

[Rogina B]

Was the kiosk girl attempting to sell more of the Dead Sea seabed?? Or was it the curling iron girl? lol Confidence in being out plays a big part in making new friends..

[Kate Simmons]

Whenever someone calls me that, I grin and say one of 4 things: "....And?", "Your point ?", "That's Ms B**th to you.", or "Thank you." :battingeyelashes::)

[Beverley Sims]

I was called that on a particular occasion and my confidence level just skyrocketed.
It was a warm fuzzy feeling for me.

[Foxglove]

To each their own. In guy-mode I'd never have been pleased at being called a "b****d". (It did happen a few times.) On the other hand, it made me feel good when somebody called me a "gentleman". (That did actually happen once.)

So why would I now want to be called a "b***h"? Twice in recent days I've been referred to as a "lady". That's what makes me feel good.

Yes, "b***h" recognizes my "femininity"--but it's not really the image I want to have.

Annabelle

[ArleneRaquel]

Fabulous pics darlin. I hate the B word. I have been called a f*g a few times, but never the b-word.

[Angela Campbell]

I would have found out who the management of that kiosk was and that person would likely have been fired.

[AllyCDTV]

The word bitch is an insult or an effort to exert some form of dominance over another person. At best it is trash talk or banter between two very close friends. Obviously this person was not a very close friend. I totally agree with almostalady. This moron should have been fired.

[susan54]

I have had this once as a compliment. I was staying in a hotel in York that I had used as Susan several times, and had got to know the staff, who were very nice. One evening I had short skirt on, and one of the waitresses said, "you have better legs than me, you b**ch". This sort of language can actually be friendly in the UK, and males often address their friends as "You b**t**d". The waitress later apologised in case I had not found it amusing, but I had, and I was fine with it.

[Frédérique]

As I get about 15 feet away, I hear her say under her breath, "You B*TCH!" WOW. It struck me and I felt great. I thought now that is a genuine compliment. I was beaming the rest of the night and still am.

Well, if it made you feel good, the word in question must have some merit, but, in my case, I would be mortified upon hearing this awful term hurled in my direction. I can’t even write the word in this post, such is my displeasure with it. If someone used it to describe me, I would feel like I had failed in my “mission” to affect a certain lady-like presence. However, I wouldn’t be shopping for the type of clothing that you prefer, so I most likely wouldn’t run into derisive female epithets meant to anger or confront. That’s not what it’s all about, in my way of thinking, but don’t let me rain on your parade – you just keep on beaming...

I'm also not one of those males who automatically refer to women using this catch-all term, even though I HAVE met my share of them... :straightface:

[brenne]

Since I recently adopted the term "slattern" or "slatternly" instead of sl.tty, I asked my daughter last night to look up synonyms for b_t_h ...

One definition is shrew - another is lady?

Main Entry: shrew (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/shrew)
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: mean lady
Synonyms: amazon, backbiter, battle-ax, biddy, b..h (http://thesaurus.com/browse/bitch), calumniator, carper, detractor, dragon (http://thesaurus.com/browse/dragon), fire-eater, fishwife, fury (http://thesaurus.com/browse/fury), harpy, harridan, hell cat, hellion (http://thesaurus.com/browse/hellion), hussy, madcap, muckraker, nag (http://thesaurus.com/browse/nag), ogress, old biddy, porcupine, reviler, scold (http://thesaurus.com/browse/scold), she-devil, she-wolf, siren (http://thesaurus.com/browse/siren), spitfire, termagant, tigress, virago, vituperator, vixen (http://thesaurus.com/browse/vixen), wench


Main Entry: lady (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lady)
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: woman
Synonyms: adult (http://thesaurus.com/browse/adult), babe (http://thesaurus.com/browse/babe), baroness, b..h (http://thesaurus.com/browse/bitch), broad (http://thesaurus.com/browse/broad), butterfly, contessa, countess, dame, doll (http://thesaurus.com/browse/doll), duchess, empress, female (http://thesaurus.com/browse/female), gal, gentlewoman, girl (http://thesaurus.com/browse/girl), little woman, mama, mare, matron, missus, mistress (http://thesaurus.com/browse/mistress), noblewoman, old lady, old woman, petticoat, princess, queen (http://thesaurus.com/browse/queen), queen bee, rib, squaw, sultana

[LaraPeterson]

DeeArel, you lucky b*tch! I know exactly what you're saying. While that term can be extremely hurtful, in the vernacular of today, not so bad. Plus, I get your drift--she saw a woman who wasn't interested in her banter. I wish I could have been there with you. We would have been doing some serious high fives, booty bumps, and all kinds of seriously weird stuff. Then everyone would have known we were a couple of b*tches.

Let me know when you come this way again!

[Paula Siemen]

Well....pertaining to the"complement", I would have stopped in my tracks, slowly turned around to face the young lady, then walked back to approach her and stated. "Thank you, that is the kindest thing anyone has said to me all day; you just made my day, and Merry Christmas to you!" I as well I would have used my lowest, male, baritone voice to say this. JUst for fun !!!
Paula

[willnotwill]

My wife called our (adult) daughter a bitch one day. Her response was "Mom! You say that like it as a bad thing!"

[Angela Campbell]

Unfortunately in this context it was not meant as a compliment.

[Shananigans]

Interesting. I actually attended a lecture a couple years back about certain word usage among marginalized groups. The "N" word used among the black population was part of the discussion...using "b*tch", "sl*t" in the female population was also discussed. The general consensus was that for some odd reason, it's okay for the marginalized group to use the terms...but, it's not okay for people not of the group to use the terms. And, I agree, when a male uses the words "b*tch" or "sl*t"," I pretty much start questioning the guy's view of women. (I turn into Dr. Freud...but, with less emphasis on the anus). So, anyway, I noticed most women felt the same way. I have also noticed that we use derogatory female terms on non-females...much in the same way that a black person might call someone a non-black person a n*gger. So, the lecture pointed out that the terms are used by the marginalized population, but it's more appropriate for a person of that population to use the degrading term towards non-marginalized people than it would be for the non-marginalized person to pick up that term and start using it at the marginalized group. Pretty weird. But, my friends and I still use "female slamming" words...we use it on men A LOT. My actual response to my friend's boyfriend (when we were fighting) was that he was a "stupid b*tch and a p*ssy." Did I mistake him for a woman? No. But, those were the insults that I had in my word bank. And, when I'm really mad, I will throw around the C-word. Guys have been the C-word...but, if a guy were to use that word to describe another woman (and, I heard it), he'd probably get chewed out. It's a stupid system, and I know it.

I wouldn't let a woman call you that...especially in anger. I've played around with my SO and called him a "b*tch" en femme to be playful...kind of like I would with my girlfriends...but, let me tell you, there's some arbitrary difference in calling someone a "b*tch" out of annoyance and using it playfully. In the end, I think it probably indicates that the word has no gender...it's just a word that a certain group has picked up and started using...probably as a response of taking control of negative words that are sometimes used to describe them. It's not always used in anger...but, it can be...and, it can be used on anyone...the thing is that it's usually used by women. I don't really hear guys throwing those words around too much...it's probably really unlikely that guys use it around women. And, I'd hope most guys know that if they called a girl a c***, they'd better be ready to get a few words thrown back at them...probably words that demasculanized them and threatened their sexuality. For the most part, women have learned that this is how you can "cut deep"...it's true for the most part...but, it's also a new world to me that some guys might be alright with that lol. It's a learning curve. But, we can all learn to wash our dirty mouths and start being nice. But, when it goes to "fighting words," I try to aim for things that cut the deepest. I don't really get into those exchanged with random people...but, men (and women) that I generally don't get along with can end up with "an exchange of words." And, as for the example of my friend's SO...we have never liked each other...we are both very dominant, opinionated, hot-headed people...and, our fights usually are very heated/an exchange of words.

So, again, I wouldn't let a girl call me that...the intentions behind it can be hard to gather. If it is just being playful, it can be okay...but, I wouldn't recommend throwing the word back at her too often lol. And, never use the C-word unless you're trying to stir the crap pot.

[MsJanessa]

Darling, she should have said "you sexy bi&^h!"

[DanaR]

Interesting. I actually attended a lecture a couple years back about certain word usage among marginalized groups.......................... The general consensus was that for some odd reason, it's okay for the marginalized group to use the terms...but, it's not okay for people not of the group to use the terms. And, I agree, when a male uses the words "b*tch" or "sl*t"," I pretty much start questioning the guy's view of women. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..............
.................................................. ............................

So, again, I wouldn't let a girl call me that...the intentions behind it can be hard to gather. If it is just being playful, it can be okay...but, I wouldn't recommend throwing the word back at her too often lol. And, never use the C-word unless you're trying to stir the crap pot.
Thanks for the definition.

Sometimes I'll do some of the chores before my wife gets home and she'll say "aren't you the little Susy homemaker" and we'll laugh.

[AmyGaleRT]

I bet that young lady would have hit the roof if she knew what you'd thought of what she said!

I'd probably have been thinking of the line from the chorus of a certain Tata Young song: "Can't change the way I am, sexy, naughty, b*tchy me!" ;)

- Amy

[Leslie Langford]

Interesting. I actually attended a lecture a couple years back about certain word usage among marginalized groups. The "N" word used among the black population was part of the discussion...using "b*tch", "sl*t" in the female population was also discussed. The general consensus was that for some odd reason, it's okay for the marginalized group to use the terms...but, it's not okay for people not of the group to use the terms. And, I agree, when a male uses the words "b*tch" or "sl*t"," I pretty much start questioning the guy's view of women. (I turn into Dr. Freud...but, with less emphasis on the anus). So, anyway, I noticed most women felt the same way. I have also noticed that we use derogatory female terms on non-females...much in the same way that a black person might call someone a non-black person a n*gger. So, the lecture pointed out that the terms are used by the marginalized population, but it's more appropriate for a person of that population to use the degrading term towards non-marginalized people than it would be for the non-marginalized person to pick up that term and start using it at the marginalized group. Pretty weird. But, my friends and I still use "female slamming" words...we use it on men A LOT. My actual response to my friend's boyfriend (when we were fighting) was that he was a "stupid b*tch and a p*ssy." Did I mistake him for a woman? No. But, those were the insults that I had in my word bank. And, when I'm really mad, I will throw around the C-word. Guys have been the C-word...but, if a guy were to use that word to describe another woman (and, I heard it), he'd probably get chewed out. It's a stupid system, and I know it.

I wouldn't let a woman call you that...especially in anger. I've played around with my SO and called him a "b*tch" en femme to be playful...kind of like I would with my girlfriends...but, let me tell you, there's some arbitrary difference in calling someone a "b*tch" out of annoyance and using it playfully. In the end, I think it probably indicates that the word has no gender...it's just a word that a certain group has picked up and started using...probably as a response of taking control of negative words that are sometimes used to describe them. It's not always used in anger...but, it can be...and, it can be used on anyone...the thing is that it's usually used by women. I don't really hear guys throwing those words around too much...it's probably really unlikely that guys use it around women. And, I'd hope most guys know that if they called a girl a c***, they'd better be ready to get a few words thrown back at them...probably words that demasculanized them and threatened their sexuality. For the most part, women have learned that this is how you can "cut deep"...it's true for the most part...but, it's also a new world to me that some guys might be alright with that lol. It's a learning curve. But, we can all learn to wash our dirty mouths and start being nice. But, when it goes to "fighting words," I try to aim for things that cut the deepest. I don't really get into those exchanged with random people...but, men (and women) that I generally don't get along with can end up with "an exchange of words." And, as for the example of my friend's SO...we have never liked each other...we are both very dominant, opinionated, hot-headed people...and, our fights usually are very heated/an exchange of words.

So, again, I wouldn't let a girl call me that...the intentions behind it can be hard to gather. If it is just being playful, it can be okay...but, I wouldn't recommend throwing the word back at her too often lol. And, never use the C-word unless you're trying to stir the crap pot.

Interesting observations, shananigans, and it may also explain in part why women use the word "boobs" so freely when referring to their breasts. Still better than the word "tits" though, I suppose.

To be honest, I always found it odd that they would use such an essentially derogatory term for such a lovely and fundamental part of their own anatomy. Perhaps it is their way of taking ownership for it and thereby minimizing its sting in much the same way that some elements of the black population have co-oped the "N" word for their own use, or gays the insult "f#ggot"...