how do i tell her this is for me

[staylucky]

Ok so my gf had got me to dress up for get before.but yesterday we talked a Lil about going out in public and she was out raged she then staged are you gay do you want to be a woman why are you with me etc...when she is the one who got me into it now yes I'm bi but no big deal I'm with her I just don't know what to do next please help

[docrobbysherry]

U need to tell her exactly why u dress, what u would like from her, and what u get out of it. If u don't know all of those details, tell her that!

[kimdl93]

well, if you ask me, the conversation wasn't very well thought out. You do not begin with " I want to go out in public". That's probably not even the right topic for the fourth conversation.

So now you need to go back to square one. Tell her the deeper truth of your gender identification - when it started, how deeply involved you were before she "got you to dress up" and why its important to you. Although you've probably already answered the questions about wanting to be a woman, being gay, etc... Be prepared to go back over that. And this time, you can admit having some bi experiences, but (if its true) assure her that you are monogamous and want to be with her only. Then, don't say..."I want this, this and that" Instead, ask her to talk about her feelings...don't tell her that her feelings are invalid and for gods sake, don't allow yourself to get into another argument or shouting match. If it starts to get heated, ask her to take a break and offer to talk more when you're both calm and collected.

[Jenniferathome]

First, the "are you gay/do you want to be a woman" questions are quite normal. The first dressing up may have been just a lark for her and had no meaning. NOW, there is meaning. You need to have a real conversation with her about being a cross dresser.

Now, as an aside, if she knows you are bi, I am sure that will cause a heightened level of worry. It IS a big deal. be prepared to address that.

[Lorileah]

You do not begin with " I want to go out in public".

:yt:

So now you are defense and repair mode. Back off a bit. Give her time to breathe. Then restart when things chill as suggested by the others. Start with telling her that you respect her and love her and that you don't have any plans beyond getting dressed and going out in the world now. Let her ask questions, try not to be defensive. As stated, the gay and transition questions (statements) are standard.

[Joanne f]

There is a very big difference between dressing for your GF in the safety of your home and going out and that is a step that she is not happy with at the moment as she can look at it from a different light than you will be doing at the moment as you are no doubt suffering a bit from what they like to call the pink fog ( your euphoria of dressing is clouding your judgement) so slow down a bit and go at your gf pace .