StephanieC
12-09-2012, 10:28 AM
I love to sing. Until I went to college, I was in a number of choirs and singing groups. During college and after, I never had the occasion to be in an official group but enjoyed ad hoc opportunities to sing with others.
Last year, as part of my new "journey", I joined a choir at the LGBT center. This was a renowned choir, who have sung as backup to Barry Manilow and others when they were in town and in need. Unfortunately, that choir decided to disband last year.
Afterward, I kept hoping a new singing opportunity would arise. I know there are a number of groups in town, but they are less diverse: usually all men, all woman, all lesbian, etc. Frankly, as my old choir friends found other opportunities, I hoped they would give me a call:none came. At this point in my life, I don't really find myself squarely in any specific group: I can't be in the men's group and the women's groups have appeared cool to me (one person in one of those expressed the fact they really were for GGs only).
This went on for a couple of months. Not only did I miss the singing but I missed a chance to be out with others...not only during practice and performances, but social occasions outside.
As it turns out, the old choir director decided to accept a choir director job at one of the local churches (down the road). She extended an offer to me to join. I was ecstatic, though reserved because this was in my neighborhood whereas the previous choir was some distance away. And this choir was a plain straight choir, though I knew the denomination was known for it's diversity/acceptance.
I'm very pleased by the chance to sing again. These people are quite good, and very friendly. At least one thinks they have seen me before (not likely). Some of my old choirmate women came to join so I know there are at least some non-straight people. I'm one of the taller people (the men are older and stoop a bit) but otherwise, I'm very comfortable with the group.
One of the women is named Stephanie. She knows my name is Stephani(e) and we may greet each other but never really talk much. She is one of the older ladies and wears glasses. The other night at practice, as she passes me, she asks "did you always like your name, Stephani(e)?". I was a bit surprised but also pleased...both at her acceptance and her willingness to discuss something personal. She went on to say that she preferred "steph" and "stephi" when she was young and the various derivations through the years, finally appreciating the name "Stephanie" in her adulthood.
At first, I didn't know how to respond. (How would you have reacted in that situation?) In this choir, I have not identified my background. Although some from the old choir know my situation, the majority do not. I do not see any purpose in going down that road. I closed my eyes, thought for a moment, and responded in a way I would had I always been this way.
I don't know if this woman has trouble seeing or is so accepting. I'm not sure it makes a difference to me. Many days later, the though of this question still makes me happy. Yet another step.
-stephani
Last year, as part of my new "journey", I joined a choir at the LGBT center. This was a renowned choir, who have sung as backup to Barry Manilow and others when they were in town and in need. Unfortunately, that choir decided to disband last year.
Afterward, I kept hoping a new singing opportunity would arise. I know there are a number of groups in town, but they are less diverse: usually all men, all woman, all lesbian, etc. Frankly, as my old choir friends found other opportunities, I hoped they would give me a call:none came. At this point in my life, I don't really find myself squarely in any specific group: I can't be in the men's group and the women's groups have appeared cool to me (one person in one of those expressed the fact they really were for GGs only).
This went on for a couple of months. Not only did I miss the singing but I missed a chance to be out with others...not only during practice and performances, but social occasions outside.
As it turns out, the old choir director decided to accept a choir director job at one of the local churches (down the road). She extended an offer to me to join. I was ecstatic, though reserved because this was in my neighborhood whereas the previous choir was some distance away. And this choir was a plain straight choir, though I knew the denomination was known for it's diversity/acceptance.
I'm very pleased by the chance to sing again. These people are quite good, and very friendly. At least one thinks they have seen me before (not likely). Some of my old choirmate women came to join so I know there are at least some non-straight people. I'm one of the taller people (the men are older and stoop a bit) but otherwise, I'm very comfortable with the group.
One of the women is named Stephanie. She knows my name is Stephani(e) and we may greet each other but never really talk much. She is one of the older ladies and wears glasses. The other night at practice, as she passes me, she asks "did you always like your name, Stephani(e)?". I was a bit surprised but also pleased...both at her acceptance and her willingness to discuss something personal. She went on to say that she preferred "steph" and "stephi" when she was young and the various derivations through the years, finally appreciating the name "Stephanie" in her adulthood.
At first, I didn't know how to respond. (How would you have reacted in that situation?) In this choir, I have not identified my background. Although some from the old choir know my situation, the majority do not. I do not see any purpose in going down that road. I closed my eyes, thought for a moment, and responded in a way I would had I always been this way.
I don't know if this woman has trouble seeing or is so accepting. I'm not sure it makes a difference to me. Many days later, the though of this question still makes me happy. Yet another step.
-stephani