What little I know

[Shdow_dragoness]

I live in Texas and found out that there are no real anti-discrimination laws in the state for me to go around certain places as a woman. However just recently I had an a question, since at several occasions I went to school in dress (not to class but library/lounge) I was wondering about the school I go to itself. Lo and behold I found out something quite surprising. It seems that the school has an anti-discrimination policy against those who would harm persons based on "the usual" AND gender identity and gender expression. Which means I can go to school in dress and not have a real problem with it. Boy do I feel stupid. If I had known about this earlier I would not have such a hard time convincing myself to go to the study lounges in dress (or for that matter to class). Anyway, was there any point in time where any of you had an "I am stupid moment" about policies in certain states or certain places in your state?

[Stephanie47]

It has always been my suggestion that all transgendered persons and gays and lesbians should check their respective state and local ordinances.

[AllyCDTV]

The law may be on your side but that doesn't always stop the morons from doing what morons do. Tread carefully.

[Jenniferathome]

You have legal protection, not idiot protection. This means that someone can not refuse to serve you, on campus, without possible reprisal. They may in fact, refuse to serve you, but later, you could make a claim against the school. Any idiot can point at you, intimidate you and make your life miserable without fear of reprisal. That, is the God given right of morons and idiots.

[Beverley Sims]

What we are all saying is it may be your inalienable right to wander around dressed but there are those that are easily offended by any dressing out of the supposed norm. You need to be discreet.

[AllieSF]

I agree that all of you younger college members here really should check out the rules and regulations, as well as the special interest clubs and organizations at your college/university. I would bet that most have anti-discrimination rules, as well as, LGBT support organizations. That is why I think that if someone wants to test the waters to transitioning, then college seems like one of the better places to start, especially when you are living away from home. College students are your age, have similar issues, tend to be more open minded, though there are "idiots" as Jennifer described everywhere, and the professors and school administrators have seen it all and probably many times.

[linda allen]

......... It seems that the school has an anti-discrimination policy against those who would harm persons based on "the usual" AND gender identity and gender expression. Which means I can go to school in dress and not have a real problem with it. ........

It does not mean you won't have a problem with it. It means that if someone beats you up because you are wearing a dress and you canidentify them and prove that they beat you up, they might go to jail or pay a fine. It doesn't mean they won't beat you up, it doesn't mean nobody will laugh at you, point at you, etc. and it doesn't mean they can't avoid you or not be friends with you.

You don't say what type of school you are going to or how old you are, but there are laws and there is life and sometimes there's a difference.

[AllieSF]

Gee Linda, do you expect all that to happen to her? Anything can happen to anyone and moment of our life, like a piece of space junk falling on out head, but the odds don't favor that, and I would guess that they do not favor all those negative things happening to her either. Even without laws, that can be broken as others have said, that does not mean those things will happen. My State of California as very strong laws against hate crimes and discrimination for whatever reason. Yes, sometimes bad things happen here too, but the odds are very low.

[DebbieL]

I live in Texas and found out that there are no real anti-discrimination laws in the state for me to go around certain places as a woman.

Texas is an interesting state. There are no state protections, but a few of the larger cities, like Dallas have laws explicitly protecting the GLBT and specifically transgender rights.


However just recently I had an a question, since at several occasions I went to school in dress (not to class but library/lounge) I was wondering about the school I go to itself. Lo and behold I found out something quite surprising. It seems that the school has an anti-discrimination policy against those who would harm persons based on "the usual" AND gender identity and gender expression.

Many organizations, including Colleges, Universities, Corporations, and Non-Profit institutions, especially those who do business in many different states, have explicit protection policies and anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policies. Many organizations view harassment of transgenders much the same as they view sexual harassment of women. Many states also have 3rd degree assault laws, which means that if you are threatened in the presence of witnesses, the people who threatened you could be charged or sued. Most organizations also do not want the liability of having someone physically assaulted after such a threat has been made. Younger people tend to be far more accepting of all GLBT people, because many of them have had GLBT friends as they were growing up in high school and college.

The more people come out, the more people realize that the people they know, like, and trust in social, business, and scholastic environments.


Which means I can go to school in dress and not have a real problem with it. Boy do I feel stupid. If I had known about this earlier I would not have such a hard time convincing myself to go to the study lounges in dress (or for that matter to class).

You may want to let your teachers know you are transgendered. If you are a good student and have a good record, there is a very good chance that you could start coming to class as a girl, if that's what you want. You might also want to talk to the school social worker about getting gender counseling, to see whether or not you want to consider transition.


Anyway, was there any point in time where any of you had an "I am stupid moment" about policies in certain states or certain places in your state?

Yes - Both ways.

In High School (1971-1974) - most of my friends were gay or bisexual. I was terrified to tell them - when I finally reconnected on face-book, several already guessed, others said "I should have known", and some said "It's about time". I didn't know ANYONE who was transgender, but they would have accepted me.

In College (1974-1978) - I went to a college that was 900 women and 25 men. 20 of the men were gay, and the other 5 were in relationships with seniors or faculty. I worked on the stage crew, and paid my dues the first week by doing the dirtiest job - cleaning the paint well full of garbage, urine, dead animals, horse glue, sawdust, dirty rags, smelled so bad I threw up twice, but kept on working. By the end of the first semester, my dance class gave me a birthday present of some magazines, one with a transvestite theme. They knew, and yet I STILL wouldn't own it. I was afraid they would kick me out if they found out I wanted to be "one of the girls". I didn't dress, but I was adopted and treated as one of the girls, even made an honorary sorority member. I wish I had been able to come out then.

I wish I had told my first wife before we moved in together (1980) - so that I would NOT have married her. I waited and tricked her into a situation which left her trapped in an apartment she couldn't afford without me and when she pretended to accept, I proposed - not finding out until AFTER the marriage that she wanted it to stop.

When I finally DID come out (1988) - I was in Colorado Springs, my marriage was platonic, and we were roommates. She hated sex, and after 16 months of platonic marriage, we saw a marriage counselor - he helped me find someone who could coach me through transition. Colorado Springs had 5 military bases and Focus on the Family - including executive management (ex-military and fundamentalist Christian) - my boss told me after a year of harassment that he had been told by the VP of IT on the day I went to the company Halloween party in a maid's outfit, that "He's Leaving". He was ordered to do many things that were illegal, build a paper trail, and clean any paper / e-mail trail that might benefit me. During that time, I got two Bravo Zulu awards and my project was nominated for the Malcolm Baldridge award (which we got 2 months after I left), awards worth about $2 billion annually to the company. I was finally told in September that even if I got 3 more BZ awards, I would still be fired if I didn't resign. They offered me the option of resigning effective December 1 (1990) and not only did the harassment stop, I helped them finish their corporate Internet planning, positioning them for the Internet when it exploded a few years later.

When I got divorced, my wife decided she wanted her husband to be accepted as their "real father" and I would have a lesser role. She threatened to have my visitation revoked if I didn't stop the transition. Had I known that what she really wanted was to revoke my visitation no matter WHAT I did, I would have finished the transition (1992).

I signed up for a leadership program where one of the requirement was that I "burn the dress" - I put everything in storage, blew the lid off the records for accomplishments, but when they offered me the ultimatum "Burn the dress and be a leader, or Keep the dress and lead from the back" - I should have owned the dress. As it is I anonymously led or guided projects to commercialize the Internet, get PCs running Linux to 3rd world countries, and globalization - projects worth $Trillions - but anonymously - so I could transition "some day".

When my dad was about to die, he told me "If I gave you nothing else, I gave you the ability to be yourself" - he had been reading Debbie's Facebook postings and knew about Debbie. He wanted me to know that he knew and he loved me and wanted me to be happy. The rest of my visit, until he died, I wore my short shorts, leotards, and my hear was long and wavy. He totally accepted me.

I'm transsexual, a girl trapped in a boy's body. I didn't transition because I didn't think I could. I was too tall, had a Bass voice, had weight and back problems. What I didn't know was that NOT transitioning would lead to obesity, a heart attack, and a stroke, as well as migraines.

At least I had the good sense to tell my second wife that I was transgendered and even transsexual, but when I stopped transition (again) was when I had the stroke, and a second heart episode, as well as migraines.

At this point, I'm feeling like I'm having a "I am stupid" episode because my wife knows I want to transition, but she doesn't want me to.
At the moment, we're not having sex because I kept giving her belly whomper orgasms that led to multiple hernias. Waiting for her to lose weight.

[linda allen]

Gee Linda, do you expect all that to happen to her? ......

There's a good chance that at least some of it will. Best to be prepared.

[kimdl93]

Even though Texas is in some respects, incredibly regressive, there are a lot of places where the forces of intolerance have been overwhelmed by modernity. Houston, for example, is an increasingly progressive community. And businesses are increasingly protecting the rights of their employees and customers with anti-discrimination policies.

But that doesn't mean you won't face abuse and intolerance at the hands of individuals. The law or policy may protect your rights, but can't prevent stupidity, as others have noted. So move forward with confidence that you are within your rights, and be wary of situations where being in the right isn't a guarantee of safety.

[Ceri Anne]

There is no law in any state that will protect you from the harassment of close minded people. That said, in any state regardless of its gender laws, if anyone physically harms you or your property, there are laws to protect you. These laws apply weather your dressed or not from physical harm. This doesn't mean it wont happen, but you have recourse leagally. Assult is assult regardless of what you are wearing. I've never understood the need for hate crime laws. Burning a church is arson regardless of the motive, beating up a CD is assult regardless.

[~Joanne~]

I agree with a few of the girls here. Just because their is a law saying something doesn't mean it can or will protect you. It may help in the aftermath but seldom does so you should still be very cautious.

[alwayshave]

I agree with a few of the girls here. Just because their is a law saying something doesn't mean it can or will protect you. It may help in the aftermath but seldom does so you should still be very cautious.

I agree with you whole heartedly. Just because a law states, for instance, that someone who self identifies as a woman or presents as a woman uses a ladies room does not mean that a police officer cannot arrest you. For example, the police officer could state that you were disturbing the peace and not address the underlying act.

[Shdow_dragoness]

I am aware that laws don't really protect against stupidity fully, I mean I work for walmart and most of their policies are supportive of laws that protect epic shoplifters from getting beaten up by me. So on that note, I am well aware that I need to tread cautiously. Yes I go in dress, but it's not like I go there in a ****ty sissy dress, I dress like any other normal woman. As far as using the women's restroom, I go in at strategic times. First time I went in I wore Grey granite design skinny jeans with a grey T with skull designs over a black long sleeve form fitting top and converse-like shoes and this past time I wore a black mini skirt with black slashed tights, a black top with a grey rose on it and arm warmers with the same shoes. So I like being a trendy person with a goth/punk style. I face danger every night with crazy people at my night job at walmart, so I know I am risking a lot going to school in dress. If it wasn't for the fact that I am a trained fighter, I would be dead by now from some of the physical and verbal confrontations I faced a few times at my job. So for me, I can handle stupidity. So I feel confident enough to go to school in dress, maybe not to class but to the library or the lounge. Maybe that is why I am taking this in stride. Well there is an epiphany.

In case you were wondering where I attend college it's HCC System. I may want to attend Lone star but not yet