CDing around Kids

[julie08]

For those of you who have children, at what age did you stop CDing around them? If you ever started (or ever stopped). I have the next couple days off and will be watching my 15 month old son, and am curious to know everyone's experiences with this.

Thanks.

[famousunknown]

For those of you who have children, at what age did you stop CDing around them? If you ever started (or ever stopped). I have the next couple days off and will be watching my 15 month old son, and am curious to know everyone's experiences with this.

Thanks.

I wouldn't do it at all around a child that age, but it's your call.

[suzy1]

This has always been a difficult question to answer and there have been some very different views put out by members here.

I have my own feelings on this based on what I have seen myself.
It seems fine to dress in front of pre-school age children. They don’t bat an eyelid over that or anything. They have nothing to compare it to so to them it’s normal and fine.

Then they go to school and things change. Now their school mates [And their school mates parents!] get to know that ‘their dad walks around in a dress’
So the ridicule and bullying begins.
I wouldn’t put my children through that for anything. Children always come first.

[BRANDYJ]

I wouldn't do it with my children at any age. If we can't or won't control our need or urge to dress in private I'd say we've got a problem. My thoughts are unless you are heading for transition the dressing should be private. It's selfish to push or press to expose small children to things they can't possibly understand. I would fear long term harm to their socialization. I know that cross dressing isn't just sexual or in some cases sexual at all. But it hits to close to exposing children to your private sex life with the child's mother. I would never have been so selfish to even consider it. And to me, it is a selfish act and I don't care how you sugar coat it.

[famousunknown]

i wouldn't do it with my children at any age. If we can't or won't control our need or urge to dress in private i'd say we've got a problem. My thoughts are unless you are heading for transition the dressing should be private. It's selfish to push or press to expose small children to things they can't possibly understand. I would fear long term harm to their socialization. I know that cross dressing isn't just sexual or in some cases sexual at all. But it hits to close to exposing children to your private sex life with the child's mother. I would never have been so selfish to even consider it. And to me, it is a selfish act and i don't care how you sugar coat it.
absolutely ->agree 100%!

[Jenniferathome]

Contrary to opinions you will get in the negative, the simple fact is that that the younger the child, the easier it is for them to accept and adjust to any circumstance. The question for you is, are you prepared to have your kid out you? 15 months is safe now, but there will be a time, soon, that they tell their friends, your wife, teachers, you name it. They can't keep this secret. If you want to keep this secret, then you can't dress in front of the kids. It's pretty simple.

Bottom line is that it will not scar the kids.

[Bree Wagner]

My wife and I went out to meet another couple with our 1 month old because there really isn't an option for child care at that age. I don't think I'd do it after she's 6-9 months old at most, but that's just me. I certainly don't do it around my 4 year old. While I'm sure she'd have no issues with it I don't want to put her, my wife, or me into any awkward situations since I can't be totally open about my CDing. It's a fine line to walk since I'm doing everything I can to be open and honest with the kids and to teach them to do the same, but I plan to walk it for as long as I can.

For you, it depends on your specific situation. Is CDing something that will always be out in the open for you? When he starts talking, what will a word about daddy wearing dresses do in certain situations?

Good luck,
Bree

[Stephanie Miller]

Not being a psychologist, this could all be garbage. (Of course I'm not sure what one gets out of a psychologist is any better :heehee: ) But is an under two trip hazard really that impressionable as far as CD's are concerned? Do they really understand the concept? Or is the "concept" early social molding? If in 20 years, and if it is acceptable and widespread as - shall we say women showing thier ankles :eek:, will CD's be a damaging factor to kids development still? If it was that big of an item then halloween costumes of all forms should, worn by anyone, be a mind bending detriment to a wee one.

I happened to be babysitting my graddaughter ( 18 mo.) the other day. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop on, of all places, my lap. I was looking over older pictures of Stephanie and had to get up to answer the phone. So I put the laptop down. As I was coming back into the living room the munchkin was looking at the screen pointing and saying "Nana". ( Thats my wifes nickname to the grandkids. I'm Papa). Now, I know they say couples start looking alike when the get older, but really..
So curiosity asks "Just what is relative to children, and at what age?" Is what they see really what they see?

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
― Confucius

[Carroll]

All my kids (24, 13, 11) know I crossdress. I generally don't do it when they are home, but every morning they see me up wearing a red nighty under a full length night dress, just no forms or wig. They accept and just dont care.

[Ms. Laura]

My wife felt it was OK for me to be around ours up to the 6-9 mo. range. I didn't want to, but she just needed me to be there for a few minutes here or there. She thought I was silly to worry about it, but, after that age, we agreed it's a no no. I would say 15 mos. is a tad old if you're keeping it secret.

[sissystephanie]

The 2 children that my late wife and I had did not know that I was crossdresser until just a few years ago, after my dear wife had passed away! They have never seen me dressed enfemme and don't want to. Which is fine by me! Of course I am frequently underdressed when around them, but they don't see that. They are both in their 50's!

[DeeInGeorgia]

The difference between a part time crossdresser and someone transitioning is the CDer doesn't have to tell the kids, but the transitioner must tell the kids. In the larger scheme of your life, hiding your CDing is just telling yourself and every one you hide from that what you are doing is wrong. You are basically telling your kids that crossdressing is wrong. My youngest son was in the 3rd grade when he announced to his classmates that I painted my fingernails. He was in the 8th grade when I came home from a day volunteering at Southern Comfort Conference, walked into the house fully enfemme right in front of his high school science classmate, who had also been one of his friends in Cub Scouts when I was a Den Leader. He has been telling his friends at his new school that I dress, and they think it is cool.

My older son is a closeted crossdresser and is still uncomfortable with it and hence himself. I waited too long to be out in life for him.

[Jennifer in CO]

weeelll...

I was full time when our first was born. She was around 3 when I transitioned back - that was one of the issues when my wife asked me to be the man in her life again - she was not thrilled when our daughter called me "Mommy" as well as her. Small dropped hints to our daughter many years later and she has no remembrance of me or an "aunt" or another woman living with us when she was young (and all photos were lost in a house fire a few years back). When I had my surgery in 92 and wore skirts for about 4 months she was embarrassed a bit I think (she never did say anything) but she didn't bring any friends over during that time either...

Jenn

[Karen_K]

My son is 21 months old now, and he has seen me occasionally as Karen from the time he was about 6 months old. I don't hang around the house with him around, but he has seen me on my way out to some social event or support group meeting. I think 15 months is OK, but much older than he is now and I'll start to be a little leery of it. Not because I'm afraid he'll be confused or something, but because he's getting to the age where he might say something about it. Eventually my wife and I want to tell him about it, but we're trying to decide the best age for that. We have the same concerns as everyone else here, below a certain age they can't understand why to keep quiet about it, and above a certain age they may feel betrayed at the secrecy.

[Lady Catherine]

Children are very impressional at that age. I would be very careful.

[Rogina B]

I agree completely. My daughter has seen me since age 5 and been in public with me since Halloween in Chicago at age 6.Dad is still Dad no matter the "outfit". There is nothing better than a little girl helping you hang up your clothes and ask you"is there anything I can wear?" She has already told anyone she chose to or not and there have been no repercussions. Some people on here are afraid to get dressed in front of their dog!
Contrary to opinions you will get in the negative, the simple fact is that that the younger the child, the easier it is for them to accept and adjust to any circumstance. The question for you is, are you prepared to have your kid out you? 15 months is safe now, but there will be a time, soon, that they tell their friends, your wife, teachers, you name it. They can't keep this secret. If you want to keep this secret, then you can't dress in front of the kids. It's pretty simple.

Bottom line is that it will not scar the kids.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Personally never have and never will, accept for a costume event or some other socially acceptable time. I don't have the same desires that many have, though, I'm more than happy doing this privately. Like everyone else said, this is not a secret I would aks them to keep either.

[famousunknown]

I agree completely. My daughter has seen me since age 5 and been in public with me since Halloween in Chicago at age 6.Dad is still Dad no matter the "outfit". There is nothing better than a little girl helping you hang up your clothes and ask you"is there anything I can wear?" She has already told anyone she chose to or not and there have been no repercussions. Some people on here are afraid to get dressed in front of their dog!
I disagree completely. You're risking lasting emotional and psychological damage to the child.
Is it really worth it?

[Rogina B]

How do you know so much from your closet?
I disagree completely. You're risking lasting emotional and psychological damage to the child.
Is it really worth it?

[Eryn]

Moderator caution: Be respectful to each other.

[kathtx]

You're risking lasting emotional and psychological damage to the child.

As one who prefers scientific evidence to off-the-cuff opinionating, I find it helpful to read the research. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of published research on the question of effects of transgendered parents on children. However, what there is seems to indicate that as long as a parent's transgenderism isn't a point of conflict with his/her spouse and as long as a parent doesn't place an unfair burden of family secrecy on a child, there's no harm to children. And yes, the younger a child finds out, the easier time they have adjusting.

If you don't have a university library handy, Google scholar is your friend.

[Jennifer in CO]

Working from my/our experiences with our daughter, I challenge each and every one to try and think on your first "remembrance". How old were you that you "remember" what ever it was. I'm guessing between 4 and 6. You may have vague memories for a year or two prior, but I'll bet all you might remember is a toy or some other item and not a person or event (unless traumatic). My reasoning for this line of thought is that I'll bet your a lot safer than you think in the long run. Yes a 3 year old child may say something at the time (remember, Kids say the darnedest things) but I'll bet your safe when it comes to the memory dept.

just my 6 cents...

Jenn

[TanyaR]

We have 4 kids. 18, 14 & 3yo B/G twins. My hubby has dressed in front of the twins but my older girls do not know. I only found out about 3 months ago. Since my boy twin is surround by girls he likes to dress up in the girls princess outfits sometimes. Granted he has his sword and fights off bad guys in a Belle dress. (: My hubby will then go get dressed and play along with them. We all wear cheap crazy wigs (except hubby wears his nice one) and its fun for all. Now the older they get they will start talking, but it's a choice you decide to make. My older girls can't tell you a thing that happened before they started school.

[AllieSF]

I believe that if the family relationships are strong and open, if the transgendered member is confident about themselves and the wife is in agreement, then the chances are that the kids will accept and live with it with more positive effects than negative ones. Yes, they may have to endure some awkward moments as they grow up. Being TS versus CD/TG is a different situation, but the end results are the same. All the arguments used here have also been used regarding same sex relationships and marriages when children are involved. Now, if one is ashamed and unsure with what they are doing and if the SO/spouse is not on board, then there are bigger problems to deal with. Think of the kids today that grow up in broken families, with Mom or Dad being alcoholics, drug users, or being abusive people to the spouse, others and maybe even the kids. I think a loving and open family can and do make things work out producing healthy in body and more importantly mind children that will accept diversity for what it is, beauty in differences.

[Ayame]

Nothing will be hidden from my children in the future, I will teach them to love and to understand other people.

[Mindy More]

Some people on here are afraid to get dressed in front of their dog!

funniest thing I've heard in a while :heehee:

[MonctonGirl]

.... Now their school mates [And their school mates parents!] get to know that ‘their dad walks around in a dress’
So the ridicule and bullying begins.
I wouldn’t put my children through that for anything. Children always come first.

That is by far the best advice - impartial yet accurate.

[cathie pantyhose]

I never dressed in front of my kids. My daughter saw me in pantyhose a few times and asked mommy why I wear them...she didnt' really answer her I guess and the daughter has never brought it up again. Son and daughter have both seen me on wool or cotton tights in the winter. I dont really believe the tights are big deal. They know I wear those for warmth under my pants in winter when it's really cold or for after skiing walking around the resorts.

[Aylineira]

This is something that I have long researched and the primary reason why I got on these forums. I too have a child that is around 8 months old and my wife is fine with my CDing. After much research here is a few things that I found:

You had better be comfortable with the fact that your own flesh and blood will "out" you to your friends one day on accident (or purposefully as it so happens).

Teaching your children about acceptance is actually good for the child and will learn to not be as narrow minded towards people.

Try not to confuse your child. One day they WILL try to place the distinctions between the differences in men and women. This isn't as much of a worry for a fully transitioned father since they will always present female. However, for those CD'rs who are still in the closet, you should still dress, but you may have to put away those breast forms and that wig for a time.

There's more but I will stop here for now unless you all want more information.

Oh and to answer the OPs question. I think it's fine to dress in front of your child as long as you are prepared to educate them on acceptance and privacy (for closet cd'rs)

[BethCD]

Years ago, when my daughter was around 2 yrs. old, I thought it was safe to dress in her presence. I came into the room, she looked up and said "Mommy's dress". Recently I tried the same with my granddaughter. She (about same age) just looked at me in an odd way. So no more dressing around her.

[julie08]

Thanks everyone who responded. I'm not worried about being Outed to anybody, my son doesn't even talk yet (except to ask for "more" food...). I don't really think he'll even start to question why Daddy is in a dress, but I guess better to go the safe route. Its not a full time thing, or sexual. If it was sexual, there would be no way I would do it around the kids. I just don't want to jeopardize putting my children through this, which is a blessing and a curse in one.

[Angela Campbell]

Unless they have a need to know I would not tell them or let them see it. It may not scar them but why take chances. I never told anyone in my family.

[bimini1]

My daughter just turned 2 and is starting to really communicate with us. You can tell she's forming ideas about stuff. I am scared to death about this very thing and what the future will hold. Not just the practical stuff like where will I hide my things? But also that I've gotten used to being able to express it around my wife and now that is gone. How will I adjust?

I under no circumstances want her to see her Daddy dressed. To me it might change her opinion of me in a negative way.

[Rogina B]

My daughter just turned 2 and is starting to really communicate with us. You can tell she's forming ideas about stuff. I am scared to death about this very thing and what the future will hold. Not just the practical stuff like where will I hide my things? But also that I've gotten used to being able to express it around my wife and now that is gone. How will I adjust? If you need to cope,you can wear what you want under your bathrobe,PJ's,etc??? If you don't need to dress THAT badly,perhaps you will be satisfied by partially doing it.

[Leah Lynn]

Children will innocently say things about the "wrong" subject at the "wrong" time. You could very easily be outed by a child.

[Amy R Lynn]

I have full custody of my boys, 6yr and 8yr. I won't get dressed when I know they are around. For me its a two fold issue, one I don't want them to have to deal with the idea that Daddy is a little bit of a Girl sometimes. Two, if word got back to their mother's side of the family I fear that they could come after me for custody rights over it. I wouldn't dare chance that at all.

And as far as it affecting the kids. I hope that someday when they are old enough to understand, that I can let them know about this. But I won't allow that until they are much older. I also hope that I can raise them to be accepting and embrace others differences in this crazy world.

[Rhonda Ann]

I don't feel it's good to CD around kids, even toddlers see, learn and remember. I wouldn't do it at all around a child of any age, that's just me.

[Rhonda Ann]

Amy R Lynn, I love your out take on this, I feel the same way. You are right it's not worth the risk of losing your boys. "Been there, done that", except mine was a girl. Would have risked it for the world.

[giuseppina]

This is something that I have long researched and the primary reason why I got on these forums. I too have a child that is around 8 months old and my wife is fine with my CDing. After much research here is a few things that I found:

You had better be comfortable with the fact that your own flesh and blood will "out" you to your friends one day on accident (or purposefully as it so happens).

Teaching your children about acceptance is actually good for the child and will learn to not be as narrow minded towards people.

Try not to confuse your child. One day they WILL try to place the distinctions between the differences in men and women. This isn't as much of a worry for a fully transitioned father since they will always present female. However, for those CD'rs who are still in the closet, you should still dress, but you may have to put away those breast forms and that wig for a time.

There's more but I will stop here for now unless you all want more information.

Oh and to answer the OPs question. I think it's fine to dress in front of your child as long as you are prepared to educate them on acceptance and privacy (for closet cd'rs)

I agree with this.

Children whose parents are of the same sex adapt to their environment. I'm not an expert, but I don't see a crossdressing parent being different.

As usual, it's other children and adult bullies that do the damage, not the same-sex relationship or crossdressing per se. The critical issue is the parent's relationship is stable and healthy.

Chances are good there will be questions at some point about why daddy likes to wear mommy's clothes. The best way to answer is the truth in an age appropriate and respectful manner. Children are very sensitive and inquisitive, and will be able to read nonverbal messages from the responses to their questions.

[Beverley Sims]

For all practical purposes no later than Eighteen Months.

[Bea A]

:battingeyelashes:I have 2 out of the house (college and adult) and 2 HS freshman - all boys. I have slowly started wearing not so obvious clothes and light makeup. approaching "full time" at home - within these parameters.

[Chickhe]

I dress only on Halloween in front of the kids and they only see me when I'm finsihed getting ready and only for a few minutes. I think its important to do this because they enjoy it and it is an education thing...gets rid of the shock factor later too! Its also something cool they can talk about with their friends, but its in the context of having fun so nobody gets teased (except me). I think if you feel shame and hide too much that's when the bullying can be a problem, but if you can stand up with a straight face and say, yup, did it! So what? Then the bully has no power over you. But, there is a line in the sand when they are younger like with other things, you teach them in little increments about life as they grow up. I live the typical father role all the other times. I think its important to be honest and sharing who you are with your kids too otherwise someday they might feel excuded. About bullying, the solution is to expose it. My kid was told a while ago that one of the other kids was going to hit them if another friend was not part of their club...so we had the kid report it to the teacher who told them they were brave and the other kid got in trouble....well mostly educated, but the point is, you have to speak up and expose them because most kids are too scared to do it (all the friends would not talk to the teacher), but it works. Apparenlty most kids are too scared of the one kid, but once they are exposed, I think others will come forward if there continues to be a problem. ...of course this is in Canada where our kids typically only push each other around a bit.

[suzy1]

About bullying, the solution is to expose it. .

No, the solution is to prevent it. I feel so strongly about this because I have seen it.
The children are going to go through their entire school life with this hanging over their heads.
This is the real world not a world we wish for.

Children come first.

See #3

[Lorileah]

Then on the other hand are you reinforcing the negativity of being a TG when you hide? You are basically saying that what you are doing is "wrong" and you have to hide it from the children, like drinking? Isn't it better to teach children at a young age that the world is diverse? That not everyone comes out of the same cookie cutter? That they should be proud of who they are and not follow along blindly? My experience in this (as I was reminded of by a certain Admin a few years ago) is from the outside looking in. I don't have children. But I have been where children were and i was fully dressed. In those instances two children said something. One said "Mommy, look!" and her mom said, "Yeah isn't that cool?" and one said "You a guy or a girl?" His mom said "she is what she looks like." Both kids accepted those answers and went off to something else. Gee I hope I didn't ruin the psyche of the future President or the person who would have invented a cure for cancer...just because they saw me dressed

[celeste26]

Hiding from others is the result of shame. Whether you admit it or not. Being called out on it only has power over you if shame controls you. If that is true then shame is what you have to deal with not the CDing.

My kids have known since they were young and now the grand kids know too and I dont feel the least shameful about it, I dont hide it from anyone. But then I live in a tolerant part of the US (Pacific Northwest) and I have not had any negative experiences from people out in town. My church has put me into their leadership program so that tells you a little about them.

Those who use shame to control others are evil. Those who accept being shamed need to find other acquaintances.

[suzy1]

Lorileah, you are talking about one instance, I am talking about the time they start school through to the time the leave as a teenager.

I don’t care about “reinforcing negativity” some things in life are more important and children are one of them.

Lorileah, you say you don’t have children. Then I am compelled to say you can’t know what it feels like to have your own children suffer. I know you meen well and a good and feeling person.

It’s got nothing to do with shame celeste, and everything to do with the good of the children.

[Lorileah]

Just pointing out that there are really more facets to this than what everyone here is saying.




I don’t care about “reinforcing negativity” some things in life are more important and children are one of them.



This does concern me though. Basically you are saying that if the kids at school say things about another kid because he is from the poor side of town or has a physical problem or is from another ethnicity, you don't care what they say? Your argument has been used for centuries to reinforce people feeling somehow better than another. We have to protect the children from...(choose your ethnicity or color or religion or disability)

And no it isn't just one or two times I have been around children, it has been years worth. But then I do live where people take people for who they are not how they think they should be

[suzy1]

I am simply saying that if someone is a crossdresser that is going out in public dressed and they have children that are approaching school age then they should think about what is going to happen to them. The misery that will be there school days because ‘there dad wears a dress’

I would never put my children through that for anything!
And I have seen this happen with my own eyes.

I will not post in this thread again because I will get a bit heated.

No offence to you Lorileah. I do respect your views.

[darla_g]

When my kids were younger I decided there was simply no need to tell my kids about my dressing. First of all I didn't do it all the time, I had no desire to dress around them nor did my dressing involve them in any way. So it simply came down to a need to know, it had nothing to do with shame. Younger kids will frequently bring things up when you least expect it not because they are trying to be vindictive, but because they don't know any better. I was very involved in my kids school and I didn't need for the whole school or staff to know.

Later on when my kids were older (mid teen years) I contemplated telling them then. I even went as far as discussing this topic on another board with someone ahead of my kids in age. After that discussion I decided even more not to tell them. First of all my dressing still had no impact on their lives and they still had no need to know. But more importantly one of the people that i had discussed (on a different CD board) this with had said it caused her quite a bit of discomfort and even though this was quite a few years later still was not something that she understood or accepted (which was one of the reasons she was on this other board). She said it was something that frequently came up in the course of the typical teen age parent child blow ups that are bound to happen. I decided this was the most compelling reason not to bring it up to them. Everyone always discusses how this will effect the kids but it is always in a speculative manner, but I finally had spoken to someone who would have been in a similar situation to what my kids would have.

[Matia]

I wouldn’t put my children through that for anything. Children always come first.

I understand completely where you are coming from, but this as an argument just doesn't sound right.
Bullying somebody because his or her dad dress as a woman, is not something that is OK to ridicule anymore.
And if there are people who should understand it in the first place , it's us, also we should be the example and some kind of education
for others, to show that despite our difference we are as good or bad people as any other people.

If kids want to bully other, they will always find some reason - big nose, bad hair color.. you name it.
Following this argument, gays should never have right to take care of children etc..

We should be proud for who we are , and I don't mean shove it in other people's faces, but just standing our ground.
Kids won't really care , and if they do, I'm pretty sure it's not crossdressing that bothers them or making their life bad,
it's something more serious than that

[darla_g]

Hahahaha! Yeah, and cats don't give a rats ass!

'
Not sure this is always true. My cat seems to give me a funny look and has put more than a run or two in my stockings. Not sure what that means!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wasn't sure from reading the OP whether this was a custody situation or just an opportunity that you would be alone with your son. If it were custody I would say definitely don't do it because while it does not have to be an issue in a custody situation frequently it is one. In any case a 15 month old might be very active crawling around and so forth so I don't even know how much time you might have.


I posted the same question myself on a different CD forum 5 years ago with the same intent as the original poster. Its good to get a range of opinions and I am glad I got the same thing when i originally posted. Ultimately its your decision.

I know my attitude about this had changed from the time before I had kids and then after and I would definitely consider that when you evaluate some of the inputs you have gotten. You can never truly say what you would or wouldn't do with your kids until you have them.

Good luck.

[Sophia Frances]

Just my 2cents:
There is no definitive answer for any question like this. Yes there are people who will say "do this" or "do that" but the reality is every person in every environment is different. Can you leverage odds on things based on feedback, sure, but like any situation it will vary depending on the who's and when's. me personally- I'd never CD in front of my child. It took me a long time to begin to understand my CD urges and to large extent I still don't. While I am sure my children would eventually accept anything "Daddy" does, they may never understand it. Why put them through it.

[bimini1]

Yes in my situation why put her through it? It's not worth it if it backfires and it came out somehow. Everyone, teachers, classmates would all treat her differently. Is that right? Of course not but maybe it is. Maybe they are right and we are wrong. Reality.
Sometimes I do think it is about shame. How are you gonna teach the child to accept differences to be themselves when you can't openly be you?
Bottom line, there is something wrong with you. We sit up here and talk about how it's ok to CD. It's very wrong to CD, if it wasn't then why the issue in the first place.

Hell I didn't ask for it, but it's still wrong.

[Darla]

Okay. I have kids and many posters here are heated in their viewpoints. If you don't have kids - I' going to say it - you have no right to tell anyone what to do. You can have your opinions, but until you have a child's existence in your control ( really - who can say they have any semblance of control) you need to respect the parents. You do a huge disservice to your kids if you're known as the dad who wears a dress. Childhood is screwed up enough without dealing with this baggage. I'll tell my kids when I'm good and ready and when they can deal with it. There's no shame in it, just ones ability to survive at Schiller and in life. And I wil NEVER put my kids in a position where the have to explain aways issues they can't deal with.

[Angie G]

I never did it in front of my kids and still don't. They don't even know.:hugs:
Angie

[Lorileah]

Bottom line, there is something wrong with you. We sit up here and talk about how it's ok to CD. It's very wrong to CD, if it wasn't then why the issue in the first place.

Hell I didn't ask for it, but it's still wrong.

Oh, c'mon. You really didn't say that did you? The issue is prejudice and being taught it is wrong for no reason except ignorance. I will defer to parents who don't want their children to see it, but teaching your children it is "wrong"?

[Jenni Yumiko]

I agree with everyone who said no. With all the turmoil and growing pains they have to endure, why add to that.

At the same time I also teach them to be accepting and non judging of people until you yourself learn otherwise. That doesn't mean a friend said this about him or someone said this about her.

[Jessica86]

I have a three year old and a ten month old. Both have never seen me dressed. I have nothing against people who choose to bring the dressing around their children. I hate what I see on television, and all of that is way worse than explaining dressing. I would hate to explain gangs, drugs, and sex to my children at an early age...but let's face it, that's what the world deems a "good tv show" now.

[darla_g]

good points Jessica

[Stevie]

I can't tell my son. He already know the difference between boys and girls and seeing daddy dressed in heels would not only confuse him but I think will have a negative effect on him too. The reason I came to this conclusion is because I listen to what he says. I do want him to be a open minded person but on his terms not by me influencing him.

[Diversity]

I never CD'd around my children and they still do not know about me doing this. Only my wife does (and this forum). :)
Di

[mmarmstrong]

My humble opinion is to not CD around kids - childhood being confusing/challenging without this added stressor makes a lot of sense to me but to each his own. We all have the right to do as we see fit with our own children...within reason of course! :)

[giuseppina]

...Lorileah, you say you don’t have children. Then I am compelled to say you can’t know what it feels like to have your own children suffer. I know you meen well and a good and feeling person...

I don't have children either and probably won't, Suzy, but I have had a lot of problems with bullying, both through primary and secondary school as well as later in life as an adult. I know what it's like.

Taking away opportunities for third-party bullying is the sole reason I've stayed completely away from romantic relationships up to now. This is not the best solution, but it worked. It is also very costly for obvious reasons.

The best way to control bullying is identification of the culprits and dealing with it as a mental health issue. If that fails, teaching them bullying has enforceable consequences to them is a fall back position.

[darla_g]

Bullying certainly existed when I was a kid and I know I was forced to fight a few times that i would prefer to forget.

I will note that at least in my kids schools starting with elementary school and into middle school bullying was something that was always discussed and there were active efforts in those schools to identify it and punish that type of behavior. If I were to ask my kids they would not say that it didn't exist, but it was not as much of a problem as I have seen in my time. It was therefore not a factor in my decision about telling or not telling my kids.

[Rogina B]

My 11 yr old daughter is here beside me after reading all your responses and says" it is no big deal and Dad is always Dad,no matter how dressed". As I said earlier,she has been a part of our accepting household since she was five. Because I push openmindedness and diversity accompanied by acceptance,she will be a better person for it.If you are so ashamed of your hobby,then you can skip it. It is far more than a hobby for me,so an accepting and understanding household is a must.

[darla_g]

Rogina as I stated in one of my earlier posts this is a personal choice (and no one can make that choice for you) that people must make regarding their own children. I do not believe that someone has to tell your children every detail of their private life. For instance you wouldn't necessarily be telling your child that you plan on having sex tonight, there is no need to know.

It is good to discuss the topic and present a variety of viewpoints, but what works for you may not be appropriate for anyone else. I was a bit disturbed to learn that you let your daughter read this forum. I believe this is against forum rules as this is strictly an adult forum.

[Maria S]

A friend of a friend had a sex change a couple of years ago he/she has children. When they are out together the kids think of him/her as an aunt.

Maria

[Marissa V]

I got a 9 yr old daughter that knows about my crossdressing. Reason i eventually told her is because my ex wife was going to use my CD as a weapon in our devorce, hoping my daughter would be shocked that bad that she would refuse to stay with me. Haha, that sure backfired on her. When i told my daughter about it, she replied with "oooh mommy allready told me but she told me that you wear dresses....". In short, my ex told my daughter in the most ulgly way possible. So my daughter asked to see it. Wich for me was fine, once... if i expected my daughter to understand me and understand that what her mom told her was not what it was about, i had to show her. So i did. Knees shaking, trembling all over from fear over her reaction, it was all there when i walked out the bathroom. But more than the first initial giggle, my daughter reacted in a way i never could have imagined. She absolutely loves it. She sees what it all does to me and she compares that to the daddy from before the devorce...and she flat out told me that she was more then ok with it. So i told her to keep it to herself because not everyone reacts the same, actually, some people might take offence to it. "Ooh, you mean like mommy?" And there i was...my 9 yr old grasped the essence of the whole thing in like 5 minutes.... "Dont worry daddy, its our secret and always remember i love you always. You will always be my daddy." So in short...for me telling my daughter was the best thing i ever did. If i wouldnt have, and my daughter would have been stuck with what her mom told her, the result would be totaly different if and when she eventually would have found out. And now, 5 months further...my daughter even asks for me to dress occasionally... Its a complex issue with no clear cut answer that works for everyone.

[Rogina B]

I do not believe that someone has to tell your children every detail of their private life. For instance you wouldn't necessarily be telling your child that you plan on having sex tonight, there is no need to know.

It is good to discuss the topic and present a variety of viewpoints, but what works for you may not be appropriate for anyone else. I was a bit disturbed to learn that you let your daughter read this forum. I believe this is against forum rules as this is strictly an adult forum.
Obviously this is a private hobby for you and equating it to announcing you are planning on having sex is probably a poor comparison. This part of the forum is open to anyone that can click a mouse,whether they are 9 or 99 years old.Not sure if you knew that.

[Matia]

I think it goes down to what dressing up eventually means to you, and what person you become. If you can behave like a normal girl and are confident I don't see any issue

[Sophia Frances]

I think it goes down to what dressing up eventually means to you, and what person you become. If you can behave like a normal girl and are confident I don't see any issue

You see, I disagree. This has nothing to do with "you" it has everything to do with the child. I'd just wait until they are older and more emotionally and socially mature.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Julie, I have two grown daughters and have kept it from them.

[Matia]

You see, I disagree. This has nothing to do with "you" it has everything to do with the child. I'd just wait until they are older and more emotionally and socially mature.

Ok, so what if you are transsexual , would you deny them the transition? What about the gay couples, should they be banned raising children ? I don't think so, and so often I see that crossdressers are
seen as something nasty that children cannot grasp. Society needs everything in approved boxes, only then it is alright ? I think that if children are raised in loving , even if somehow different enviroment
it doesn't mean they cannot understand or love their parents. And the social pressure ? it will never be different if crossdressers will not find some emancipation too. Through studying I realised that I am bigender person, that means I am happy as both a man and a woman. Do you want to call me selfish for who I am ? In my case I have hare lip, i sound "funny" when I talk. I had to endure bullying as a child, and I'm sure people still make fun of me or comment on how I speak now. Did it harm me ? Actually I think it helped me open up toward crossdressing, being used that either people judge me superficially or they care for who I really am.

I want to be honest to my kids, I want them to respect me fully as I am , and I don't believe that would work if I pretended to be someone I am not. I would like my parents however they'd wish to dress.

[Lorileah]

.

I believe this is against forum rules as this is strictly an adult forum.

You can't control what people do in their own homes, so there can't be a rule about who you show this to. Also since this forum is accessible to non-members, I am sure that people under 18 read some of this stuff. And although some adult things are discussed here, it is really more PG-13 :)

[Jenni Yumiko]

Matia - you bring a very good point, so where do we draw the line?

[Lorileah]

ok don't get into a spitting contest here. If you have an issue with a member, take it to PM. This subject can get heated and if it degrades to a flaming contest, it is done. Get it? got it? good.

[Matia]

Matia - you bring a very good point, so where do we draw the line?

It all comes down to be a decent human being. Yes the clothing is superficial, but if it's the clothing that helps you
become who you are, then it goes deeper. I am trying to be a nice person and treat others as good as I can both as a
Man or a woman, the only difference is what I am wearing and maybe the manner of movement and speech, in some ways,
I can be nicer as a woman than I am as a man, surely that is not something I should be banned to do ?

I am not talking about walking around my kids in female underwear or doing anything sex related that they would see

For a long time I didn't know what I am really, and I felt I need to be defensive, that the way I was born is wrong somehow,
and I lacked vocabulary to describe or argue what I am or why I do what I do. Was I gay? no, did I want to become woman 100% ?
No not really, I managed to learn that gender is much more dynamic thing than how it is usually perceived. I am bigendered, I
am still one person, that reflects itself as a man and a woman. Obviously there is only one body, so as a man i'm content, when my
gender shifts into a female one, the body/gender doesn't match, so crossdressing is the way to correct it.

Mostly people find it difficult to understand, because they are raised in some ways, like to have everything sorted in boxes and dislike
something they don't understand. Bigenderism may happen in different ways, in my case, I don't like to be somewhere in between,
I like to be either a man or a woman, but there are more fluid people who happen to be in between, who like to wear female and male clothes
at the same time, who do not want to be put in a gender box so that others feel more comfortable. Should people like this also be banned
to dress how they feel in front of their kids ? no.

so back to the original sentence.. Just be a decent nice human being imo.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Agreeable points. On the flip side, wouldn't you want to protect your kiddies from any pasteurization that would ensue if they spoke of it to their friends?
Transitioning and being gay aren't really things you can closet. Whereas coding you can. When they are older and not guided so much by their peers I can see me telling them, I just don't think I could now.
Not to mention my wife said no. That alone trumps most personal feelings :-)

[Matia]

Agreeable points. On the flip side, wouldn't you want to protect your kiddies from any pasteurization that would ensue if they spoke of it to their friends?
Transitioning and being gay aren't really things you can closet. Whereas coding you can. When they are older and not guided so much by their peers I can see me telling them, I just don't think I could now.
Not to mention my wife said no. That alone trumps most personal feelings :-)

This is something that is a common argument, but is it true ? It really depends on the view what crossdressing is for you. I believe that it's not the very same thing for every person, for someone it may be a minor thing and a hobby, for other it may be his life or identity. If you show crossdressing in a "fetish" light, that it's something that only belongs into bedroom and that it's something you can hide, ok then I agree with you it may be ceased for private moments. If you see it as a gender related thing, go deeper, it becomes the same argument as when people try to "make" their kids heterosexual.
I did not choose to be born as a bigender crossdresser, the very same way gay or lesbian did not decide to be gay or lesbian. This is a question of identity, asking bigender person to only be one gender for the sake of "peace in family" is the same thing you may ask gay people. Mechanics are different yes, the core is the same. Either way you have to sacrifice some of your identity. The gay emancipation managed to shift the public view on the subject and now it's not "cool" to ask gay people to change. Often I see that TG issues fall far behind the gay issues and need to catch up. The issue is so much more complicated because most CDs are (or see themselves) as "normal men with a hobby" I'm not saying this is not the case for some, but it's not the case for everyone.

Just to clarify, as I was already abused in private mail to cease discussing here because I don't have children yet. I am not telling anyone how they should behave, I am voicing my oppinion, granted it may be naive and it will be much more difficult when I will be in the situation. Do not take my views offensively or personally, thing is, I definitely want to have kids one day, and I want to have as good relationship with them as I can , the same with my wife, and I want to live in a happy and openminded family. That is a reason why I tell my gf about Matia very early into our relationship, that's why we discuss these things, and that's why I feel I should not be muted in discussion. If you take it as an offense, I apologise because none was meant.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Ok I admit I went off topic here, everyone who addressed their concerns rationally and not maliciously has a point to be made. I am definately a follower of things change when you have kids. I think everyone here who does have kids can say they felt and did things differently then after the kids. (Not talking about cding) my wif rand I would never ride on the same motorcycle, you trade in your supra twin turbo for a SUV, the partying slows down or stops...etc... It's not like you intend it to happen, it just does. Will that change how you feel about this subject, maybe, maybe not.

We are off topic here, so returning to OP, age 4 with the exception of trauma are our earliest recollection. at age 8, is around when they forget pre 4.
I stopped cding in front of my eldest when she was about 4 not due to the above, but because she felt my bra band on my back and lifted my shirt before I could react.
My youngest, as I said, my wife said don't do it. She's 2

[chelseababy]

Nothing will be hidden from my children in the future, I will teach them to love and to understand other people.

This is an opinion shared by myself and my wife, I have an 8 yr old stepson (J) and a 3 yr old daughter, they've never been sat down and told daddy wears dresses or anything like that, but they have seen me doing, and wearing, less than masculine things around the house. Only this evening I was painting my toenails in the living room next to my daughter, she asked me what I was doing, I told her that she has her nails painted and looked pretty and I wanted mine done too, she said that I looked pretty and carried on watching peppa pig. We were speaking to my son after dinner about his thoughts on if I ever wore girls clothes and he wasn't fussed, we asked him what he would say to his school friends if they said for example "haha your dad wears dresses?!?!", he said his reply would be "and??.......", he has shown plenty in the past that he is open minded and very none judgemental about other people, and that's a great person to let out to the world when he comes to leave.

I think that a huge part of letting your kids into this side of your life would be accepting that they might tell people, and to not react badly if they do. A few months back we were looking around matalan in the underwear section, we were with J and weren't hiding that we were looking for both of us, we picked out some stuff and left, a few weeks later we were looking around another shop, this time with his 9 yr old girl cousin, without thinking I tried on a womens cardigan, she kinda giggled at me and asked what I was doing, J said, very matter of factly, "oh thats nothing he wears womens pants!", me and my SO both looked at each other with an amused "omg wtf" look on our faces, fully expecting his cousin to go home and tell the world, but never said anything to our boy except that what he had said wasn't bad, and that he wasn't in trouble or anything like that.

We think that one of the most important, if not THE most important lesson we want to pass onto them in life, is that they and anyone else in the world can be whoever they want to be, that other peoples opinions shouldn't matter in the slightest to them, and that they should never be prejudice against others for who they are. I want them to grow up knowing that the worlds a big place, everyone in it is different when it comes to sexuality/gender/beliefs/colour, and they should never judge people on those things.


Okay. I have kids and many posters here are heated in their viewpoints. If you don't have kids - I' going to say it - you have no right to tell anyone what to do. You can have your opinions, but until you have a child's existence in your control ( really - who can say they have any semblance of control) you need to respect the parents.

Was agreeing with you...


You do a huge disservice to your kids if you're known as the dad who wears a dress

Until here :(

I think you do a huge disservice to your kids by letting them grow up to think that they have to hide who they are from anyone, and worse, to hide from their own family of all people. I'll be teaching them to be themselves, and I'll practice what I preach.

I obv understand that some people must stay hidden, and things might be different for them, my attitude is that I'm not going to tell the world and sit the whole family down for a "Hey, meet my other side" moment, but if they find out they find out and I'll deal with that when the time comes, the only people I need are the 3 other people under my roof and if they're happy with it and accepting then that's all I need.

[Rogina B]

Being and creating an open and honest accepting household lays an important foundation toward the understanding of gender as I see it and live it.The acceptance of Rogina in our household has been successful,but I have a daughter that has been a part of it for over 5 years now.If everything that happens at home is properly handled,then it never becomes "the big family news" that kids have a need to share.I find it rewarding when I can have honest discussions of how I felt when I was my daughter's age[11] with her.We watched "Eighteen minutes and eighteen seconds,fifty shades of gay" together today and my daughter has healthy grasp of gender diversity.I credit that to the foundation that I have laid down for her. Every household is different,do it your way,but don't comment when you haven't tried to walk the walk.

[darla_g]

Obviously this is a private hobby for you and equating it to announcing you are planning on having sex is probably a poor comparison. Oh I am so sorry that I don't meet your standards for being a proper crossdresser.

My kids are older now and I still don't announce to them when I am having sex and I don't bother telling them I am planning on dressing either because neither of things have a single thing to do with them, so the example is more than valid. Some things are just not necessary to share with your children. Children are not just very small adults that you must share every detail of your life with and have no business on this web site in any section.

[Darla]

I'll be teaching them to be themselves, and I'll practice what I preach.

Chelseababy - that's absolutely your right as a parent and mine as well. You have what CDing means to you and so do I. I'm not saying it would be a huge disservice to everyone, but in my instance I feel it would. You can take exception to my viewpoint, but lets face it, you have kids to raise and so do I. That's where our energies are to be expended, and in my are and culture I'll raise thm to be open and caring and aware of all the gender variants out there. I just won't expose them to things that in my opinion they're not ready for. When they're ready I'll let them know, hopefully at a point where it gives them perspective in their own struggles.

[Rachelakld]

While I wore tights aroung the kids when they were 8, it was only after school exposed (taught) them about sex, condoms, "experimenting" etc and they were Ok with having gays etc in their classes.
I live in a very tolorent society and yesterday there was a big GAY parade with all sorts of trans, that the kids went to see (and the defence force marching in one section to promote their acceptance).

My kids were 10, 12 & 13 years old when they first saw me fully dressed - and while they said I looked good, could I also fix their Ipods and chat about an incident at school.
Each child is different (my 18 year old still doesn't know as she think men should be rough), and each society is different (while school boys are allowed to cross dress, no parents are allowed to or the kids will get harrassed at school for having a crazy parent)
My blog page has a photo of me relaxing with Miss 15 doing Ipady stuff

[Rogina B]

Oh I am so sorry that I don't meet your standards for being a proper crossdresser.

My kids are older now and I still don't announce to them when I am having sex and I don't bother telling them I am planning on dressing either because neither of things have a single thing to do with them, so the example is more than valid. Some things are just not necessary to share with your children. Children are not just very small adults that you must share every detail of your life with and have no business on this web site in any section. My daughter happened to see my avatar and was just reading over my shoulder as I don't think any of this is at all damaging. Anyway,a week ago I had a "help out "session with a 27 yr old woman that works with a GG friend. Her dad had just come down to visit and came out to her and her husband as a "T". She[and her huband] was trying to understand it all better so she had questions for me.The father is a member here and on their own,they got on this site and explored a bit. However,what is important is that at 27,she wishes that her Dad had come out about being "T" many years before rather than hiding this big part of himself from her.So,waiting to reveal the" complete you",doesn't necessarily go better with age.And what was the damage caused by so many years of hiding? This person is now ending marriage number four,and the "T" is exploding as a result of a lifetime of having it bottled up for the sake of what?

[Lacyfem]

I really think it's all been said here but don't think dressing in front of your children at anytime is a good idea. I love to dress and know from experience how hard it is to stop so if you're dressing in front of them till they are 9 to 15 months old there is a good chance you're not going to stop. If you're out that may not make a difference but when they are old enough and their friends find out, and they will, it could be very embarassing to them which is not fair to them. We are still not accepted readily in society so my opinion is to keep your dressing private from the kids. That said once they are old enough and out of the house you may confide in them if you wish and most likely they will keep it to themselves regardless of what they think of there dad's love of being a girl. Just my opinion.

[Matia]

I really think it's all been said here but don't think dressing in front of your children at anytime is a good idea. I love to dress and know from experience how hard it is to stop so if you're dressing in front of them till they are 9 to 15 months old there is a good chance you're not going to stop. If you're out that may not make a difference but when they are old enough and their friends find out, and they will, it could be very embarassing to them which is not fair to them. We are still not accepted readily in society so my opinion is to keep your dressing private from the kids. That said once they are old enough and out of the house you may confide in them if you wish and most likely they will keep it to themselves regardless of what they think of there dad's love of being a girl. Just my opinion.

what is not fair, is kids finding out from anyone else but you, the same goes with the rest of the family. one of reasons why we are not accepted, is that we have trouble to accept ourselves

[darla_g]

We are still not accepted readily in society so my opinion is to keep your dressing private from the kids.

I was very struck by this statement. I was at the newstand today and on a People magazine, i believe it was there was a picture of John Travolta (the cover below is the picture but not the exact cover I am referring to) with the caption saying this was the "Gay" photo of him and that it wasn't for a role.

This is the view that society has of crossdressers. That is why the first question from a female SO of a CD is "are you gay?" Attitudes towards homosexuality are certainly changing in society in terms of acceptance and hopefully this can only mean that things will improve for CDs too.

[mikiSJ]

I did, once, when my daughter was just over 1 year old and still in the playpen. I could immediately see her confusion seeing her father in a skirt and blouse.

Heck, even my wife's two German Shepherd's were confused by the sight and cautiously walked from the room.

I can personally remember experiences back to when I was just over two and still in diapers. I doubt my daughter remembers my "show".

[Sophia Frances]

Ok, so what if you are transsexual , would you deny them the transition? What about the gay couples, should they be banned raising children ? I don't think so, and so often I see that crossdressers are
seen as something nasty that children cannot grasp. Society needs everything in approved boxes, only then it is alright ? I think that if children are raised in loving , even if somehow different enviroment
it doesn't mean they cannot understand or love their parents. And the social pressure ? it will never be different if crossdressers will not find some emancipation too. Through studying I realised that I am bigender person, that means I am happy as both a man and a woman. Do you want to call me selfish for who I am ? In my case I have hare lip, i sound "funny" when I talk. I had to endure bullying as a child, and I'm sure people still make fun of me or comment on how I speak now. Did it harm me ? Actually I think it helped me open up toward crossdressing, being used that either people judge me superficially or they care for who I really am.

I want to be honest to my kids, I want them to respect me fully as I am , and I don't believe that would work if I pretended to be someone I am not. I would like my parents however they'd wish to dress.

I think that TG and CD are apples and oranges...and an unfair comparison. In a transition - you were A and now you are becoming B...pretty confusing...but also black and white. Being Homosexual is the same thing- you either ARE or you AREN'T. CD is something onto it's own and that has been discussed fairly often here. When you CD you are crossing gender lines, to whatever extent you do it, and then you return. Growing up...I...me personally was confused by my own urges. I reading the posts here I realize that I was not alone. I feel that confusing a young child only helps YOU not have to worry about it. YOU want to be honest, YOU want your kids to respect YOU for who YOU are, YOU realized you were bigender through YOUR studying.

Again, I'm not saying to never share, I just personally believe one should wait until a child is capable of doing all the things that you described on their own.

[Matia]

I think that TG and CD are apples and oranges...and an unfair comparison. In a transition - you were A and now you are becoming B...pretty confusing...but also black and white. Being Homosexual is the same thing- you either ARE or you AREN'T. CD is something onto it's own and that has been discussed fairly often here. When you CD you are crossing gender lines, to whatever extent you do it, and then you return. Growing up...I...me personally was confused by my own urges. I reading the posts here I realize that I was not alone. I feel that confusing a young child only helps YOU not have to worry about it. YOU want to be honest, YOU want your kids to respect YOU for who YOU are, YOU realized you were bigender through YOUR studying.

Again, I'm not saying to never share, I just personally believe one should wait until a child is capable of doing all the things that you described on their own.

TG and CD are hardly apples and oranges, if by TG you mean TS (transsexual) than ok, but Crossdressing is a subgroup of transgender people. Being a TG is nothing of choice it's who you are. I doubt that clothes would confuse a child, but pretending to be somebody else does. Children living in an open minded enviroment will be much more tolerant than creating artificial world we dislike , and support the prejudice people have about crossdressers by submiting to what is forced to us by "standard" family model. So daddy wears dresses every now and then, it's not a big deal. Ofc it's YOU YOU YOU, because well yes it's me, and I want MY kids to know ME not some artifical ME that I would have to explain to them when they are old enough. I think it would be much bigger shock for them to grasp than if they knew about it from the begining. I don't want to explain them my lying , I rather be honest.

[Jenniferathome]

A 15 month old will have zero memories of this. You need to stop when you don't want to be outed by your kids. That would be about 4.

[Kaz]

Well, for my 2 cents... as I have a very strong opinion.... children come first and always have. As has been said by another poster, when my three girls were younger I was still not really coming to terms with it all, so didn't see myself as 'CD', rather just me with a strange desire to wear women's underwear at times. Growing up in a society where that was severely frowned on could have potentially done untold damage. OK I accept that some of us here have had positive experiences but that does not make you right in ALL situations... only your own.

My daughter was bullied severely in school... not physically but the psycho stuff girls do. She self harmed, still has scars on her wrists, was diagnosed with severe chronic depression. We took her out of school, moved town, and she rebuilt her life. She is now a loving mother, has a Psychology degree and is training to be a counsellor.

If she had gone through that because of me, I could not have lived with myself.

So I am in the no camp... not because I am in any denial crap about who I am, but because I respect the rights of others, especially children, who are trying to figure the world and dealing with building good social relationships. I would rather not risk scarring them than to take a gamble based on prejudice and misinformation.

But some good discussion here and always good to hear others' success stories! For me though, the risk is too high a price to pay for the right to wear a dress whenever I want to.

[Rogina B]

But some good discussion here and always good to hear others' success stories! For me though, the risk is too high a price to pay for the right to wear a dress whenever I want to.
For some of us that are more than CD,having children that are in the loop is essential to having a smooth running household. It is 2013,and kids are exposed to a whole lot these days.Far better to have parents that aren't afraid to talk about all things than a household where the parents are uptight.I brought my daughter into it all when she was five and I am sure glad I did.If I was to decide to go full time,then my daughter would see it as no big thing to her.I needed to lay that foundation properly. If you are just a CDer,than you can take it elsewhere or do it later.But eventually it will come out[as shown with many posts] and perhaps not having kids in the loop was a whole lot more shocking for them. Every household is different,but this is 2013,and Miley Cyrus is kissing girls!

[Jamie001]

Even though I don't have any children, I suspect that it may be easier if you have a girl child rather than a boy because boy children are constantly bombarded by society's image of a man being masculine whereas girls are permitted a lot more latitude.

[Rogina B]

Even though I don't have any children, I suspect that it may be easier if you have a girl child rather than a boy because boy children are constantly bombarded by society's image of a man being masculine whereas girls are permitted a lot more latitude.

For sure! I was so happy that we had a girl as I knew that I didn't want the pressure of being a role model for a boy.

[dominique]

I must admit when my kids were pre- toddler, I dressed around them but they never saw me dressed.