How girlish are you?

[Kate Simmons]

So, many of us look pretty good as girls, some even talk like girls but just how convincing are you when it comes to being girlish? By that I mean subtle movements, body language, facial expressions and actually mental inclination? If you were another person associating with yourself, would you be convinced you really are a girl? Some food for thought anyway.:battingeyelashes::)

[christinac]

Very interesting question. I'll have to think on that and get back with you.

[linda allen]

Probably not very "girlish". After this many years living as a male and working in the "trades", the "manish" stuff is hard to shake. And my wife would probably get upset if I stared wiggling when I walk.

If I'm going to do it, I'll have to be able to turn it on and off as appropriate.

[Gerrijerry]

once you are convincing enough to pass you will be that way 24 - 7. It is not something that you turn on and off. Yes it takes lots of practice to become convincing that you are a woman. If a person is full time that is a wonderful feeling to just be accepted and not have to think about it all the time. But if you are not full time you will be noticed in male mode. In fact that is why a woman can wear MALE CLOTHES AND YOU STILL know she is a woman.

[monalisa]

In my mind I think I am as girlish as the Victoria Secret Models. In reality not so.

[linda allen]

TV and movie actors can turn things like this on and off at will. It might be difficult, but I believe it can be done. I'm not really trying though. I have no thought or desire to live as a woman full time, just a desire to be able to pass from a distance from time to time.

If you look at all people, they are not just "girly" or "manly". Many females have manerisms that seem more "male" and vice versa.

[sabrinaedwards]

I do video tape myself when I am dressed. I can say that the video does show that I am not as girlish as I feel. I try to use it to enhance feminine mannerisms

[linda allen]

I do video tape myself when I am dressed. I can say that the video does show that I am not as girlish as I feel. I try to use it to enhance feminine mannerisms
I tried that but it's hard to get a lot of footage without someone else to do the taping. Really, about all you can do is walk away from the camera and back to it. I take a lot of still photos and it helps a bit. Mostly, I need to learn to smile.

[LaraPeterson]

While this is a highly subjective question, I believe it is one that can be answered honestly. When I am en femme, I immediately begin to move, think, and talk with as much femininity as I have learned from watching women. Plus, I practice. As to whether or not I'm convincing, I have to rely on what I'm told by those doing the "viewing."

I travel with two people on a regular basis who know Lara very well. One, who is female, is constantly critical, always trying to help me improve. The other, who is male, says I make a much better girl than guy. I like that. I don't know if he's being truthful or not. I've never been particularly effeminate, but I can turn it on and off as has been suggested.

The one difficulty I know I have is voice. I find myself whispering a lot so as to not allow the bass in my voice to surface so much. I guess the questions goes to passability, but if I understand the intent of the question, you're not just talking about passing but integrating. I've gone back and forth for so long now that I don't have the nerves I used to have and that exudes more natural confidence. The old saying, "Don't let them see you sweat," I have much better control over that now.

The other part of this does go to "mental inclination." That's where I am entering the pink fog. The more time I spend en femme, the more I am able to convince myself I am something that actually I am not. Maybe the day will come that I can walk into the fog and never turn back.

[Catherine1122]

It has been said in so many different ways, and it is something of a cliche, but the only thing it really comes down to is confidence. Difficult to attain, impossible to buy, it just takes practice and attitude. Real women are confident in public, just as real men are. I often envy real women who are dressed nicely, out doing the things people do all the time. Going to the store, having lunch. Tentativeness, timidity, these things attract negative attention. I am a large and not particlularly attractive man. As a woman, a disaster. Some time ago, I was getting a makeover at Rori's and she said something that has really stuck with me. She told me to strive to look, "put together." It gives me the confidence to go out, dressed comfortably and age appropriately, and walk among my fellow humans and my confidence challenges them to look at me as anything other than a woman. If I go out dressed like a cartoon character, or as a porn actress, then I deserve the odd looks I would get, just as a woman would if she were to dress or act that way. On the other hand, if I dress like women actually do, and feel feminine and real, I come off that way. And that is the feeling I want to have all the time when I am dressed. Not scared to be out, not afraid of people's reactions, just a woman out doing what women do.

[Kate Simmons]

The reason I asked this question was that I recently re-discovered an old VHS video tape I made in the 1980's of myself dancing to various pop songs. I thought I was good these days but I had the basic feminine moves back then and that really surprised me. I'm thinking that if we "un learn" the societal role we are assigned , we will do very well in fulfilling the other one if we make it all our own and just become our own person. Perhaps we are really all women under the skin anyway. ;) :)

[Tracii G]

I tend to use my hands a lot and have those darn female inflections on certain words.
I'm pretty girly in boy mode so I get called gay quite a bit.

[Beverley Sims]

Kate,
I am girlish enough to be accepted by a group of women, but not too girly to be rejected by the same women. :)

[Kate Simmons]

It definitely is nice to be accepted either way Bev.;):)

[linda allen]

.............. I'm pretty girly in boy mode so I get called gay quite a bit.

That's what happens when a male acts like a female. And it's exactly why you have to learn to turn it on and off if you're a crossdresser, not someone living as a female.

[Jenniferathome]

Not very. My wife says that's how she spots cross dressers when she is out. She can spot them from behind. Every time I am out and doing people watching, I notice something new about women just "being".

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I have a very long and hard way to go in the girlish category. Although with lots of hard training, and practice I'm sure I can make some improvement in this area. Of course in male mode I get accused all of the time of being like a girl, perhaps it's a result of me trying too hard to hide my girl side, which causes the girl side to ooze out.:doh:

[Lynn Marie]

When dressed I'm considerably more girlish than when not. Still not passable to the discerning eye, but ladylike in a tall, husky-voiced, square jawed kind of way!

[Angela Campbell]

I am pretty girly but still have a lot of room for improvement. When dressed I feel like a woman and catch myself doing things like a girl without even thinking about it. Whether others see me this way I don't know, but I am a beginner and given time I will be very convincing I hope.

[whowhatwhen]

Why spend all of your life emulating male mannerisms only to obsess over female ones?
Since I'm not going to pass anyway I'll just let the chips fall where they may, I'm through with emulating behaviour.

[audreyinalbany]

probably a lot less girlish than I'd like to believe I am

[Brittany CD]

Nothing about me is girlish

[Lady Catherine]

Short answer? No.

[Barbara Dugan]

I a m pretty much the same person I always been, not overly masculine or girlish just something in between

[Cassandra86]

I would say when dressed im pretty girlish. Even when im not dressed i find the girly side of me coming out. For example i went out with my wife and her friend, friend doesnt know im a cd. Well they were all getting ready friend asked my wife for advice on an outfit, wife said it looks ok i think but told her to ask me. Without thinking i went full out cassandra mode and was telling her the heels didnt go with her outfit and so on. I even told her how to do her eye makeup so her eyes would stand out more. She kinda looked at me in aww and was all wow. Ok thank you she also said i was metro and could tell i was the fashionable one out of us. But then later the same night at the bar i knocked a guy out for being disrespectful to them. lol Its funny sometimes cassandra comes out without me realising. Im ok with that cus its who i am...

[noeleena]

Hi,

I have looked at that ?, simple answer is i dont need to be girlish to be a female / woman. & not all of us who are woman are,
How do you rate a girlish girl. by age, say from 3 up to 20 or so. many i know are very marture for thier age, quite confident in them selfs, my women friends are very much women .

could we look at this from a womans perspetive, do we have to be girl'e at all , im a well rounded & grounded woman & accepted as a normal woman its not how you look , its about who you are as a person . my whole being says this is a woman who has confidence is selfasured knows what she's about, & is a part of the womans ferternity,

I had a younger woman about 36 say in front of 14 other women that i was more woman than she was, that tells you something about this woman she saw in me something she did not have, that takes gut's to say that,

I was taken aback when she said it, & i can honistly say i was so humbled by what she said, I hugged her & thanked her, that shows the strength of who she is as a person. when another puts others in a place of high esteem,

Thats why i say im very grounded, i have to be to be able to go where i go & the people i meet.

Not quite the girl'e girl your thinking of , yet still a girl who is a woman,


...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

Basically the bottom line with this is we pretty much "know" how girlish we feel and how much we project that to others.:)

[SatinSarah]

Hard to know. In my head I think I have become very girly - but I am sure it is hard to throw off those male mannerisms without enough practise.

[SallyS]

I walk like an ape!....but heels and a tight skirt help me walk more like a lady:)

I sit crossed-legged most of the time, if that counts as being girlish.

Scared of spiders too:D

Always creaming my hands, for soft skin.

Don't like football(soccer), but then again, neither does my male self!

[kimdl93]

Mostly not very, I'm afraid. I do have some inherent mannerisms that have always struck others as somewhat feminine including the way I walk, the way I throw and sit. But, no I don't think I'm persuasively feminine in most respects.

[jasmine57]

I find that when I dress, I seem to pay more attention to my feminine ways but catch myself doing thing in the same aold masculine ways at times. I find the simple things are the hardest to emulate on a consistant basis. Little things like standing up or sitting down are a sure tell and unless I pay attention to what I'm doing, they seem to slip back to the masculine side. But I am working on it.

[suchacutie]

Kate, you've hit the core of what Tina has been working on all the time we've known about her. It started with how to walk in heels, then how to sit, how to stand, how to place her feet when she stands, how to use her hands, smiling, and how to use makeup, of course; and lastly there is the old voice!

But then my wife took me down another road: How to know when to try to solve a problem and when to just talk it to death, how to compliment the women you meet, how to understand that "how was your day" is an introduction to talk and not a time to level a value judgement, and the list goes on and on.

Then the coup de gras: My wife turns to Tina and says, "You are just too sweet. I need to teach you how to be B..chy on occasion and you clearly don't know how!" Well, she was right! Tina had no clue about how to extend her claws. Guys have fists, girls have claws!

My wife considers Tina her girlfriend, and the education she's given me has been invaluable! Tina's not quite there yet in terms of natural actions, but she's getting a lot closer!!! :)

[Leah Lynn]

I've had some of my actions pointed out to me by guys, sometimes followed with the "Are you gay?"

[sometimes_miss]

once you are convincing enough to pass you will be that way 24 - 7. It is not something that you turn on and off.
For good professional actors, yes it is. But I don't think many of us here are that good, along with having the physical body to be able to do that.

[Cheryl T]

One time after an outing with my wife and some friends from our Tri-Ess group my spouse commented to me that I "act very feminine". My response was, "I'm not acting". In other words, when I'm dressed this is how I feel and how I think and how I carry myself without consciously doing so, it's just me.

[DanielleT]

I am very girlish, even when I am dressed in (male) work clothes, I wear a bra and panties every day. My demeanor, how I walk, how I talk, how I hold myself.....very feminine. After all, I am a woman, unfornately I was born into a male body.

[Eryn]

For emotional reasons I really wish I could be more girlish. I was raised to be masculine and stoic. This is so ingrained in me that I have difficulty expressing emotions. I really wish that I could do so better and it would probably be healthier for me.

[Kate Simmons]

When all is said and done, I can be pretty damn girlish if I want to be, seems to be natural when I'm en femme. MY GF even said as I was dancing at the club one night:"Shake it girl!". All fine and good but I'm enjoying being a guy with her also.:battingeyelashes::)

[Deedee Skyblue]

For emotional reasons I really wish I could be more girlish. I was raised to be masculine and stoic. This is so ingrained in me that I have difficulty expressing emotions. I really wish that I could do so better and it would probably be healthier for me.

Eryn, I am pretty much the same way. It is very difficult for me to express my emotions.

Deedee :(

[Fran Moore]

I agree with you Cheryl, I'm not acting either when I am in my female persona..................or was that my male personna.........anyway, maybe it's as if I am really a two headed monster, with a seperate but distinctly different personality to each. Neither one ever really gets their way, and my life is kind of blended by a mixture of both, with one side or the other occasionally becoming more dominent at times, (either mentally, or visually) and taking occasional control as I continue thru my life. The odd thing is that I am subconsciously "thinking" more female probably 90 percent of the time, yet outwardly and externally projecting "visually" as a male, over 90 percent of the time. When I'm dressed, the "thinking side" and the "visual side" corrolate and my mannerisms default to the female side of my personality. Whether I'm that convincing or not would depend on the imput of others, as I am a "work in progress", and for me, there is always room for improvement.

While I wouldn't refer to it as "girly", I definately strive for appearing and acting "feminine" while dressed, rather than as an "effeminate" male, not that there is anything wrong with that. It's just not me......... I know that I am much happier overall when the two sides are in agreement!



One time after an outing with my wife and some friends from our Tri-Ess group my spouse commented to me that I "act very feminine". My response was, "I'm not acting". In other words, when I'm dressed this is how I feel and how I think and how I carry myself without consciously doing so, it's just me.

[SherylB]

Not at all actually. I think I only have nailed the eye movement part. Yet to do so many things like voice, walk, posture. If I dress up now and go on the street, people a mile away would know that I'm a guy in a dress. On the inside though, I am pretty feminine. Most of my male and female friends think so and have told that to me.

[Billie1]

Just barely enough, I think.
Wish I had more oppurtunity to practice!

[Dana L]

I think I am more girlish when dressed. I definatly have the walk down and sitting, but every now and then I catch myself standing with my arms at my side and my feet apart. Typical guy stance. Got to watch that! Although I've only been out in public dressed at halloween. Alot of my feminine manerisms and gestures seem to come natural. Even in guy mode I'll be at a party or get together and suddenly realise I'm with all the girls deep into girl talk. I don't try to do that it just seems to happen. I find myself relating sometimes too well to their coversations. My wife's sister an her friends always joke that I'm just one of the girls and my daughter loves to go shopping with me because she says I've got way better taste in clothes than mom.

[DebbieK]

There are sme simple things we can do to present a more feminine appearence. I think dressing our age with makup to match is important. And certainly how we walk and carry ourselves is important. It just takes a little practice.

I have found the older I get the less attention I get when I go out. Not as many stares as in the past. Well, on one hand we all loved to be noticed. But it is very nice to blend as well. Practice make perfect ladies!!!

[SandraInHose]

I consciously change my walk when dressed, along with how I sit (holding my skirt under my thighs) and perhaps crossing my ankles. Too inflexible to cross my legs, but I try to stand feminine, too. Other mannerisms when dressed are how I bend down to pick something up...knees together/bend at the knees ...rather than guy mode - knees wide apart/bend at the waist, etc. Either way, I still look like a husky guy in a skirt...no threat of being passable here.

[RitaCD]

Very girlish. Since retirement I have literally lived in a pink fog with all the typical female mannerisms. Sometime when out in drab I have to really concentrate to turn some of them off, especially the feminine sway. I don't know if others have noticed. They certainly haven't said anything. The bad thing (or good thing?) is that I enjoy it more every day. I like being Rita.

[Julie95]

I'm pretty girly in boy mode so I get called gay quite a bit.

Me too I'm somewhat effeminate.

[jarts55]

At least you both are pretty. I am just a old bald fat guy who is female on the inside.

[Sylvermane]

Not really girlish... But I think that is mainly because I have been in hiding for over 2/3 of my life. I'm only 31 and started feeling this way when I was 10 or 11. I have learned to act very well and it's hard to not act even in private.

[Joanie_Shakti]

I'm pretty much a cranky curmudgeon (you kids get off my lawn) in real life and have a problem with crowds, though I'm trying to change. When I bring the Joanie side out, I really don't have any more feminine manners, though I'm calmer and less quick tempered. Girly-wise, in a bra and forms I keep my back straighter. And I find myself spontaneously moving girlishly to music often.

I tried working on the voice, but I'm lazy and since I don't plan to make a public appearance as Joanie anytime soon, I figured it wasn't worth the effort. I do try to cross my legs properly in a dress and be modest about things like that instead of sitting with spread legs or giving a glimpse upskirt when seated, as if anyone was around to catch a peek.

[CarolynO]

For me feminine movements and mannerisms come naturally when femme.I sit and bend down with legs together.When I sit,it's very feminine to place my purse on my lap and clutch it lightly.I walk in heels easily too(lotta practice).The one thing is my voice.I speak in whispers to sound girly.when I raise my voice i speak softly from the back of my throat be heard at a little distance.

[julia marie]

The walk, bending, sitting, etc., do get to be more natural with practice. Getting out of a car? ugly.
Some may question why we would imitate the movements of GGs. After the clothes, the wig, makeup and all, it's one step closer to that feminine side that many of us want to be in touch with. Plus, maybe it's a small sign of respect to them and their part of the world. I'll never consider myself passable (where someone who takes a reasonably close look can't figure that I'm a guy or at least no purely GG), but i think it's a nice touch to fit in with them the best we can.

[Tashee]

For me its like Method Acting...In some ways I am more girl than the Wife-In others I am the vet, detective, copper of my 20's 30's 40's.

As a Det' I had to fit in on some surreal stuff. So I learnt to become Rome.. Not just While in Rome--My Sweet Arse depended on it...With no one knowing they used me as a decoy for John's/I did not care for that! Tho I did like the Clothes!!!

[Debra Russell]

Want to see an eye opener ? put us all in a room for any reason -- let some one tape all of us, than watch it ----- I think it would be a reminder of old Monty Python skits on TV. Indvidually maybe with a lot of other "normal" people around us for distraction we can sometimes pull it off - from a distance - but other than that it would take a lot of acting lessions...........................Debra

[Tracii G]

If I am in full femme mode I feel much freer about how I walk,talk, stand and act.
In guy mode I'm sure others think "boy is he as gay as a three dollar bill" LOL
Cassandra I know just what you mean when guys act like jerks and show little respect to others.
I'm bad about saying something to them and getting a tiff started.LOL
Almost got in a fight with two guys for telling them to lay off two girls in the club.He said hey you want to take this outside? I said your place or mine big fella?
His friend said you want to go outside with a queer? Oh dude don't do it.
He wouldn't look at me the rest of the night which was fine with me.
The two girls thanked me for taking up for them which was really sweet.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I'm told I'm pretty darned girly when dressed up, and that I'm an adorable drunk lol

[amigoinlove]

I like feeling girly!!

[Jocelynlovee]

i was born girlish

[Sarasometimes]

So, many of us look pretty good as girls, some even talk like girls but just how convincing are you when it comes to being girlish? By that I mean subtle movements, body language, facial expressions and actually mental inclination? If you were another person associating with yourself, would you be convinced you really are a girl? Some food for thought anyway.:battingeyelashes::)
I possess some very masciline and as well as some very feminine attributes and ways of thinking so I'm a strong mix of both. I would love to be able to better turn off the masculine when enfemme but that doesn't come natural as someone else alluded to with all the years of acting malelike. When enfemme i do like very traditionally girlie activities like getting pamepered in a feminine salon or shopping for handbags and shoes.

[michellecd9999]

When I am in guy mode I am very male. When I dress up, I am very female. I had a makeover with Phoebe Cross last week and she complimented me on my feminine movements, walk and mannerisms. THAT made me feel so confident and fem!

[darla_g]

i tend to agree with Cassandra , when dressed i exhibit a lot more feminine mannerisms or i am told. Otherwise i would say not so much

[Melissa Rose]

One of the biggest problems with self evaluation is most of us lack true objectivity and do not have an authentic and calibrated reference point. The reference points are filtered, colored and distorted by our personal biases, opinions, preferences, and sometimes errors. Add in the subjectivity of terms such as girly or feminine and it compounds the problem. Having someone who can give you honest feedback free from any agendas or bias is rare and probably one of the few ways to really know.

I am a member of a large and active cd/tg group so I have met and interacted with a relatively large population of transgendered individuals. A large number who think or proclaim to be feminine or girly are successful to varying degrees with most missing a few or many critical aspects. Many are not as feminine or girly as they think, come across as being artificial, or over exaggerate some aspects almost to the point of being a caricature. Feeling feminine or girly and presenting it are very different things. As we are often our own worst critics, we are often our own worst evaluators. Regardless, if you feel feminine or girly, it really does not matter if you are. Be happy with whatever level you achieve and love it and own it.

So, how girly am I? I really don't know for sure. You have to ask someone who has been around me and knows me, and can give you a honest answer.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Depends on who you ask.
My wife and best friend says I'm very girlie. My casual friends say I'm pretty alpha. I say I'm kinda. I do the usual "guy" things, but I have a couple "girl quirks"
I like being in the "girl spot" in bed. (Head on her chest arm over her boob)
I'm squeamish about gross things and bugs
I pick and primp my body constantly
I tear up easily - hallmark channel
I'm prone to mood swings :-D
I find a lot of things "cute"
Physical traits
I have a girl frame except shoulders (years of swimming)
My female friends all say they can talk to me like I'm their sister
I catch myself constantly though sitting or having girl like gestures, gait, mannerisms.

[Gloria Vanessa]

i was born this way girly jejeje

[Linda St. John]

I'm pretty well accepted as female where I live (I'm sure some have read me or just think I'm strange or gay ) but when I'm out of my usual area ... I'm more defensive and this is where my inate masculine traits come out . Like many of us here ; I overcompensated as a young man with risk - taking behaviour and a penchant for fighting - all to prove what a man I was !! So I get wary and combative - not very girly unless your'e into womans wrestling or roller-derby , LOL.
Which I could get into ,no no, I'll just stay around my "hood" and be all girly...:battingeyelashes::heehee::drink:

Linda

[whowhatwhen]

I'm pretty sure most would assume I'm gay just from the fact I carry a purse, and of course when I choose to wear dangly earrings while looking like a guy I'm pretty sure for most people that cements it.
But it's not a big deal, and in fact I like having what I call "the gay buffer" around, stereotypically people expect that sort of things from a gay man so I'll just take advantage.

:)

[stephanie_sf]

i think Melissa Rose put it very well.

I do think that we should avoid trying to become a stereotype of what we think feminine is. Gender and identity are very fluid; people fall within all areas of the spectrum - GGs are not all blonde hair, heels and speech littered with OMGs. We should represent the women that are us; not what society wants us to be (or what we think society wants). What is most important to do is to be true to who you are, rather than what you think you should be. Look at the people in the celebrity news like Kim Kardashian - no normal woman looks like that (or has the time to look like that) - we should take note and be natural. As crossdressers I think we are aware of this more than most people as we spend a lot of time not being who we want to be. Be true and real and you will be happy. Being aware of mannerisms and social norms is part of passing or blending in, but when we take this to the extreme we are essentially flaunting this to the world and putting ourselves out as a target.

[Stevie]

I have the movements but my facial features and voice give it away. Been told several times that I move and walk like a girl..

[Kendraspirits]

I think the whole thing for me is to just be as womanly as possible and feel good. You get better all the time. Being bi, I have sadly turned down more than a few straight guys over the years when out. Just being happy being as femme as possible is the best part.

[Kendraspirits]

PS: Tossed a disc in my back a few years ago... have to stoop instead of bend, sit with my legs together, and stand up straight.... that really helped, but I wouldn't advise it. :-)

[Jaymees22]

I think I look girlish in still photos, sort of girlish in a video. In reality not really girlish. I think some of us may try to be a little too girly, if you really watch most women their moves are much more natural than ours. Jaymee

[Kate Simmons]

Lately, It seems that even though others may perceive me as being girly, I'm perceiving that I'm just being myself. Circumstances have changed to the point of not being at all restricted with being feminine. :)

[Maria S]

When I am in girl mode I try 110% to be girlish. I am a totally different person my male persona is temporarily frozen. In male mode I am still a bit girlish noticing what women are wearing on the TV and their makeup. Also making sure my finger nails are kept manicured etc.

Maria

[stepanie]

If I'm girly at all it would be very little. For me it's not about being a woman,
I just want to wear the clothes.