Turning 40, or other milestone?

[Ms. Laura]

So, is it common to say, turn 40 and suddenly feel hit by a Fem Freight Train?

It's not like anything much has changed, it's just like I hit 40 and am suddenly tired of being somewhat ashamed or guilty of CDing. You just get to this point where you realize that you've spent 30 years hiding and being fearful and suddenly you think *Bleep* that!

I'm still a hetero, married crossdresser but I don't want to go on feeling bad about it! So I'm not!

I still respect boundaries with my wife and family and such, I'm really talking about internally.

Anyone willing to share how turning, say, 30, 40, 50 or whatever affected them?

[kimdl93]

I certaily have felt that I've allowed myself to express more of my feminine side as I've grown older. I can't say that any particular decade did it. The acceptance I've received from my second wife has made it easier. Two other factors helped: 1) the kids have left the nest, and 2) I started working from home. Both the latter expanded my opportunity. With the expanded opportunity, I've found I've grown far more comfortable living and presenting as a woman.

I often wonder if there's some kind of positive feedback loop that effectively can rewire our brains, thus encouraging us to dress more as we have more opportunity to dress. I know there's the underlying identity, one that's been there since early childhood...but can't help but wonder if I'm also reshaping my self image as I go along. Another unanswerable Nature vs Nurture speculation.

[jasmine57]

I too don't know when I decided not to be ashamed of what and who I am but I know as I've aged the peace i feel with it has not only increased but is almost comforting. I guess i just feel that I'm a big girl and life is too short to scrutinize myself for things at are imbedded into my being.

[bridget thronton]

I think the older one gets the less one is controlled by "what others think"

[Karren H]

Mine had nothing to do with turning a certain age..... it was all drugs...... being successfully treated for a brain tumor that had suppressed my crossdressing for a decade.... Boommmm...... drug induced feminization! lol

[kimdl93]

Mine had nothing to do with turning a certain age..... it was all drugs...... being successfully treated for a brain tumor that had suppressed my crossdressing for a decade.... Boommmm...... drug induced feminization! lol

Hmmm, any particular drug involved, Karren?

[Jenniferathome]

It was no magic date or age but rather the years piling up that made me finally come out to my wife and now live "normally." That relative weight from shame and hiding hits us at different times, I think.

[Kaz]

Mid-life crisis? Self awareness is about skills but they do develop over time... some people are lucky enough to achieve it early in life. For the rest of us it is a lifetime experience of regrets failures, successes, etc.. Right now.. I want to be Kaz 24/7...can't be... bummer!

[Karren H]

Hmmm, any particular drug involved, Karren?

For me it was bromocriptine..... blocks the secretion of prolactine..... which trashes T levels.... when my blood chemistry normalized.... my crossdressing came back with a vengeance .....

[Cristi]

I just had another 'milestone' birthday that ended with a '0' (being a lady, I won't reveal what the first digit is!)

I've certainly noticed, as each year goes past, less and less concern about what other people think. Sadly, though, I think I'm really close to the point where I have to admit to myself that if I was shooting to 'blend in' and dress my age, I really can't be wearing short skirts, 4" heels and skimpy sundresses any more :( :(

OTOH, maybe I'm just that type of girl who will keep dressing like I'm 25 well into my old age. :)

[Amy Fakley]

I often wonder if there's some kind of positive feedback loop that effectively can rewire our brains, thus encouraging us to dress more as we have more opportunity to dress. I know there's the underlying identity, one that's been there since early childhood...but can't help but wonder if I'm also reshaping my self image as I go along. Another unanswerable Nature vs Nurture speculation.

This has also been true for me. There's this seed in my mind. It's always been there, and it clearly always will be. But it's growth does seem proportional to the amount of water and sunlight it gets, y'know? Means and opportunity definitely helps, LOL.

A turning point for me was also coming out the other side of a life threatening illness ... an intimate recognition of my own mortality, I guess it sort of snapped me out of the plateau of denial I'd spend most of my life in.

[Lynn Marie]

65 was a landmark age for me. I finally started dressing whenever I wanted, expanding my wardrobe, wearing a wig, and painting my face. Now I've got lots of places to go dressed, lot's of CD girlfriends, and a lot less body hair. It just keeps on getting better.

[Beverley Sims]

Aging is it's own problem, a ring on a tree a wrinkle on my body.

"Mile stones just tell you how far you have traveled".

[Ms. Laura]

Well, yeah Kaz, it's a midlife crisis! :)

Not to say I woke up different one day, it's been going that way for quite a while. Coupled with, as many have said, getting older leaves you less concerned with other's opinions, that magic number 40 sort of brought it all into focus, quickly.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. Even if they differ as to when, or why, or how fast, it is comforting to see the similarities.

I hadn't thought about a positive feedback loop. Something to ponder, though I haven't had much positive feedback lately.

[Megan Thomas]

Like others, I certainly became less concerned with pleasing others as I advanced in years. However, the real kick start for me was a life threatening health issue I had to deal with in my mid 40's. As a result of that and its consequences I decided if I was going to survive and rebuild myself I would do it in my true gender. I didn't look back...

[LaraPeterson]

Laura, I'm coming up on the big 5-0, and I think the train has run me over several times in the last 4 or 5 years. I'm not ashamed of myself, but I have not told anyone in my family. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the balancing act--so I guess the real train wreck is coming sooner or later.

[sissystephanie]

None of those ages mentioned caused any problems or big events for me. But my most recent birthday, a few months ago, did hit me with a very valid thought! That thought was, "Now I am getting old!" I turned 80, and I had started crossdressing at age 6!! Yes, I had skipped crossdressing for 5 years of my married life. Plus most of the 4 years I spent in military service. But those time are part of my forgotten past. My life now is doing what I want to do, and to #### with the rest of the world. If they don't like what I am wearing, that's tough!!

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am sure it has a lot to do with one facing mortality at that age, it prompts people to do all sorts of things and it certainly not limited to TV/TS. I will be 40, in a few years, and it is frightening to think about. My life really is finite, and I am really will eventually die... it is the kind of thing that can keep me up at night if I think about it too long.

[SherriePall]

About the only milestone I passed was when I entered my seventh decade (take your time figuring that out). I mean I have been dressing forever, but only really seriously (going the whole works -- all the clothing, makeup, hair, etc -- and once in a while going out) since my fifties after I told my wife. Passing that milestone and others yearly have made no difference to me. I don't notice any more need for moisturizers and body shapers. But I do wonder what may have been years ago and momentarily mourn those lost years.

[Rachel Morley]

I just hit the big "5" "0" a couple of weeks ago but it was about my early forties that I realized that life was too short to worry about things that might not happen and that if I didn't get out there in public en femme and do the things I wanted to "as a girl", one day it might be too late. Just do whatever makes you happy ..... but do it sooner rather than later!

[tara t]

loved ones were told i had minutes left to live but i pulled through , it led to a serious rethink on life , it still took me a while to start changing though.

[Brenda Freeman]

Right after I turned 50, I started having I guess panic attacks I would suddenly feel overwelmed and felt very out of sorts. I also felt a sudden need to come out of my long locked closet. I really do not know why it happened then as I wasnt obsessing over my new milestone age. Anyway I went form trying things on occasionally to getting a wig clothes some make up and dressing up when I had time alone. I told my wife within a few months and after scaring the heck out of her, We worked it out! We have a wonderful relationship and she supports my crossdressing though does not want direct involvemnt which I fully support. I am happy and comfortable with crossdressing and feel blessed to have a wife who I can talk with and share girl tips. Oh and my panic attacks and anxiety left shortly after I gave permission to myself to crossdress and enjoy it!

[Eryn]

My point of self-realization/acceptance didn't come near a "milestone" birthday, but it was probably prompted by a sense of time getting shorter for me. In hindsight, I wish I would have discovered this side of myself at an age where I could have enjoyed it more.

[RADER]

Look at this way:
40 was Fine,
50 was Nifty,
60 is Sexy
70 will be smashing.
Still in my sexy 60's
Rader