Have to tell her

[k lynn]

I have been dating this lovely lady now for three weeks and have know her for about four months She is the first woman I have met in a long time I really care far I have always been honest with women in the past including my ex wife. But this time I am more nervous or scarried than in the past I always tell them before its gets to serious So girls wish me luck and thanks for all your advise Merry christmas to all.

[BridalBoy]

Best of luck. I was JUST there myself! My ex was not supportive, but my GF of a year is completely understanding. I waited about 6 months to tell her (when she moved in) and she told me, "Why didn't you tell me sooner!" DOH! Here's my advise: if your new GF denies you for who you are, then close ranks, carry on. There will be others. A relationship can't really be a relationship if you are lying about you really are....

[kimdl93]

I would advise that you continue getting to know her. If and when you two get serious about being together, then you should take the initiative and tell her. Plan out what you'll say and be ready for the usual questions.

[Angela Campbell]

I would look at it this way. If you tell her and she isn't accepting, or even if she runs, then you are likely better off than spending years in fear that she will find out one day.

[Lady Catherine]

It seems a little early for me, but I guess knowing her longer then you've been dating helps. Good luck and make sure you answer all her guestions honestly and you will be fine.

[giuseppina]

Here is a long-closed thread about how to tell your GF:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner&highlight=

It's a hard decision about when to tell. If she's interested and willing to try something that is very likely new to her, she'll stay around.

[Bree Wagner]

I'll give you a simple wish: good luck!

[Amy R Lynn]

Deja'vu.... Been here, recently. Same exact spot it sounds like. When I posted to this forum I got two different sides... 1. you need to do it early and soon, 2. wait until you really get to know each other.

My advice... If you think the time is right. Then go for it. No one else knows how your relationship is. What level you are at. I have told two GF's about Amy, and I'm not with either of them now because of it. This is also something that is a very real possibility. Be prepared. However, I have to say I am still good friends with both of them. They love going out as friends with Amy. Best of luck to ya!

BTW: LOVE your avatar pic. You look so beautiful in that gown!

[docrobbysherry]

Dating for only 3 weeks and u feel the need to tell her? Why now?

Why not wait until u know she seriously cares for u?

[Beverley Sims]

I would have an enjoyable Christmas first and tell her after.

[Shelly Preston]

I would suggest waiting until after Christmas before you tell her

There will be a lot to discuss when you tell her. It is such a busy time of year with all that goes on, the last thing you will both need is more stress

[GG7irish]

As a GG who now knows and accepts, my BF tested the waters so to speak to see if I would be receptive.
We knew each other a short time, but I would rather have total honesty upfront then be blind sided years later and feel that I had been lied to.
She will ask tons of questions, I still ask, but if she is the one for you then it will work out.
Best of luck.

[NathalieX66]

I've been dating a lovely lady for the past two months, which knows this side of me, as my facebook outings seemed to pay off. We've actually known each other for two years. She even made some comments on one of my girl photos. I was telling her about my office Christmas party yesterday, and she replied "glad you're wearing pants" .

Since she is visiting me for New Years Eve weekend from out of state, and wants to do Times Square in NY City (her idea, not mine :brolleyes: ) , the inevitability of having "that" conversation at some point is going to come up.

Being single and unattached surely gives one unlimited freedom, which I've enjoyed, but when you get involved with people, there is going to have to be some kind of understanding and agreement to what they're willing to accept and put up with. My new gender identity has been the development of the last three years She works at a healthcare provider, and her company's hiring policy specifically says that they do not discriminate against gender identity or expression But, In this case, I vow to be the man, and a gentleman to her in every aspect, unless she says otherwise. It surely can't be easy for any woman to come into a relationship, knowing that the guy she's dating prefers to present as female. So I decided to focus on trust, and romance, and making sure she is enjoying her end of it. Romance is a two way street.
I'll let you all know the development of this as it goes on. .....not that I need to diverge my personal details, but my personal experience.

[RADER]

I told my wife when we where dating. I think it was the 3 of 4 date.
I was at her place waiting for her to get ready and watching some awards
show on the TV. They where doing "Red" carpet interviews, and I saw a really
nice LBD someone was wearing. As my date walked into the room, I said that is
a real nice dress, wish I had one like that. She laughed and we left.
Two weeks later, at a BBQ at my place, it started to rain, so we went inside to
dine. She asked me if I had any dresses, O I just have a few skirts and tops,
No real dresses as of yet. A little while later, she asked me to go and put one on;
I want to see you in a skirt. Well I did, and we where married about 6 months later,
and still for 19+ years now.
Rader

[Ressie]

^Now that's an uplifting story! ^

[Stephanie47]

I concur with Kim. I think three weeks may be a little premature. Is it infatuation? Or is it true soul mate love? What are the ramifications of disclosure if she does not accept your cross dressing? Dating for a longer period of time should give you some indication of acceptance of non traditional sexual identity.



I would advise that you continue getting to know her. If and when you two get serious about being together, then you should take the initiative and tell her. Plan out what you'll say and be ready for the usual questions.

[k lynn]

I think everyone for their advice and I am going to tell her after the first of the year if we keep getting along so well like I said I like her better than any woman I have known in a longtime we have known each other for 4 months now and only been dating almost a month now.

[BillieAnneJean]

I would rather have someone tell me early on than to wait until it is getting serious. How would you feel if someone was holding something back and told you once YOU were getting serious.
On the other hand, what happens if she finds out and flips out? Where did you meet her? If it was at work, or at church, or some other place that you are really tied in to? What if she blabs it to everyone?

My choice is: If she is worth it, then she will be discreet even if it is a deal breaker.

It all depends on how you tell her. Be gentle.

[Cassandra Lynn]

The 2 basic camps are:
1. tell them way before anything gets serious (which to my way of thinking automatically narrows your odds of finding a decent mate to the .000003 percent of women who might be actively seeking a gender variant male....in other words good luck with that and prepare yourself for lots of lonely evenings).

And 2. tell them much later when you are developing a bond. (this could be a month or longer depending).

But pay attention to the signals your getting, things like......how does she feel about folks of alternative orientations, even feelings about other races and cultures (it can be an indicator), are you a very masculine guy (and do you think that is one of the things she likes about you), what kind of family atmosphere was she raised in.

There are many many ways she might show how she could react to the news. Bring the subject of gender roles up in light conversation perhaps.

Wait til after the holidays, and get as ready as you can, be honest when the time comes, and best of luck.

[Angela Campbell]

I only told one SO I ever had about this. I waited until we were pretty serious and were at the point of sharing secrets with each other. I found out she was a submissive who wanted to be tied up and told what to do and she found out I liked to wear womens clothes. She figured she had a kink she didn't tell everyone about so it was no big deal that I did. It was nice for a while, but the hotter the flame the sooner it burns out. I will never remain in a serious relationship again without revealing this but I will feel the person out on their views on gays, and Tg and other stuff first to see how open minded they are. If I get the feeling they aren't very open minded I will pass on telling them and go no further in the relationship. I would have to have a bit of trust first before I could expose my biggest secret to someone.

[Calisol01]

tell her or you will live everyday wanting to tell her or she finds out on her own somehow