Excuses

[LelaK]

Let's say you're a closet CD and someone who knows you catches you CDing, or just your stash.

What is the range of options you have for plausible (or absurd?) excuses? I'm fair at making excuses for my "weird" behaviors, so sometimes I practice making pretend excuses.

Once, though, I had to make a real excuse. I told this before, but in my early teens or so Mom found my sister's girl scout dress in my bed and confronted me with it when I came home from school. She asked sternly why I had it there. Without having prepared an excuse in advance, I unhesitantly said I wanted to see how long it would take my sister to miss the dress. I was lucky Mom was satisfied with that answer. It might have been unpleasant if she had expressed doubts about it.

I think the most plausible excuse I could come up with now, if I were caught in womens' clothes, is that I only do it privately because it's comfortable and looks nice to me and reminds me of my dead girlfriend (largely a true story) and I figure I'm not hurting anyone and I'm definitely not gay. I don't mean to knock being gay, but my family wouldn't care to hear that I'm gay and I'm not.

If I were caught wearing lipstick, nail polish, makeup, or a wig, etc, plausible excuses might be harder to come by. I have thought of saying it's for a fundraiser and I've thought of actually doing fundraisers like that.

Do you have good excuses? Even if you favor "total honesty", you're welcome to play the game and think up good or bad excuses. What are the worst excuses you've used, or heard? Or the most humorous?

[Cheryl T]

If you're caught you're caught. Excuses somehow always sound like excuses and never plausible answers.

The last time I was caught I just came clean. It was my wife that caught me and now we're both dressed in holiday dresses and ready to head off to a Xmas party. It worked for the best in my case...it's not always so though.

[Meghan]

There aren't many socially acceptable things that I can come up with. Playing a woman in a play, maybe? A dare or a bet related outcome, possibly?

I think Cheryl is 100% correct on this one. If you're busted, you have to come clean. Otherwise, you'll be spinning up more (and progressively less believable) lies, which helps manage the short term. Long term, you're doing more damage every time you have an alternate reason for why you're wearing panties, foundation and mascara!

Plus, as a side note, I believe skill with makeup is inversely proportional to your ability to explain away getting caught! If you look good in makeup, there's no way to pretend this was "the first time"!

Meghan

[Slipstream]

If someone would find your stash, tell them it's all stuff you picked up at thrift shops or on sale and that you have done well selling that sort of thing on eBay.

[LaraPeterson]

If I'm ever found out, I guess I'll just have to leave town. My book of secrecy is pretty thick and well organized with several layers of redundancy. In other words, for every question asked, I have four or five layers of answers. But that's part of my work anyway. Eventually, someone who knows me that I don't want to know "about" me will certainly find out. The statistics are not on my side. When that day comes, I have a ready answer and a plan for the future.

Until that day, I'll enjoy myself all that I can and do my best to be careful so that I don't hurt anyone unnecessarily.

[mikiSJ]

Right now the only person I am fearful of being caught while dressed is my adult son. His high school best friend's father dressed in secret and also self medicated on hormones. The hormones killed the father and during the grieving period it was found out the father dressed.

This really freaked my son out, and I don't know how he would handle seeing me as Miki. If he ever did, I think I would quietly get undressed and do my best to explain Miki, and hope I still have a really great son afterwards.

Of course, I have the benefit of 66 years of life experience behind me and have known for a long time it is "reasons for" and not "excuses why" that matter.

[RenneB]

Already been caught.... left Renne's thigh high boots on the bed after a day of dressing and well.... that's an old thread... but in the end, the wife bought the excuse.....

Then just the other day, I was in full Renne mode when my landlord made a suprise visit... Remember, I'm in a smallllll town. I was in full stride out the front door toward the car when he comes 'round the corner of the house and says, "Hi I'm Dave" I did a quick 180 and ran into the house... headed for a quick change... 30 minutes later he shows up at the front door and I'm back in boy mode. I brush it off with a friend of mine said you were hear earlier, but I was in the shower, so I missed you..... not another word has been spoken on the issue. Don't know if he put two and two together, but that was a close one....

Now if caught by the SO, like Lara, I have a plan of reasons and hopefully she'll understand. If not, I'm sure it'll be the D word...

Like one of my favorite hero's always says "I's am what's I am"

Renne.....

[Gillian Gigs]

The best excuse is to tell the truth straight up. The truth is the easiest thing to remember, and in many cases the truth is often stranger than fiction. Most excuses are easy to see through unless you are telling it to a gullable person. Do you know how gullable the other person is????

[Samantha_Smile]

Yeah, if anyone is close enough to me to go rifling through my possessions and discover my collection (wig and false nail kit on top level of the box), then theyre probably close enough to know the truth.

[STACY B]

Please see thread Progression or Memory Loss ,,, Excuses work when there are only a few to be made ,,Toe nails maybe ,, Shaved legs ,, But when it comes to compound things ,,,Your just plain Busted ,,You can't explain it all away ,, Maybe to yourself ?

[Jamie001]

It is not a good idea to provide excuses. You will only be ashamed of yourself and feel bad later. The only way that you can have peace is to be honest with yourself and others. You are a crossdresser and you need to own it.

[Jamie001]

If I'm ever found out, I guess I'll just have to leave town. My book of secrecy is pretty thick and well organized with several layers of redundancy. In other words, for every question asked, I have four or five layers of answers. But that's part of my work anyway. Eventually, someone who knows me that I don't want to know "about" me will certainly find out. The statistics are not on my side. When that day comes, I have a ready answer and a plan for the future.

Until that day, I'll enjoy myself all that I can and do my best to be careful so that I don't hurt anyone unnecessarily.

Why would it be such a big issue if you are discovered? Crossdressing is not illegal. It is just different.

[Angela Campbell]

If I was caught fully dressed I would just say......Damn how did I get into this outfit?

[Launa]

If I get caught I'm just going to confess and say this is what I do from time to time.

I will then look them in the eye and say, "come, come, come to the dark ssssiiiiiddddeee!"

[Diversity]

I am at a point in my life where I'd just say that I enjoy wearing women's clothing from time to time, and this is one of those times where I had the desire to do so. I have also reached a point in my life where I am going to live the rest of my life the way I want to, and not the way other people feel I should. Of course, I will make it a point to not hurt anyone - especially my family and close friends.
Di

[Jessica Who]

The first thing that comes to mind is "I was just curious what the clothes felt like". I think every man, crossdresser or not, has at the very least been curious about women's clothing.

[Barbara Ella]

Tell the truth. I have a very stressful life, and I find that role playing and wearing feminine attire relaxes me more than any psychotropic drug i have taken. I am saving my life.

Barbara

[Melissa73]

ooh this topic hits home for me.....a few years ago, as me and my wife were about to move in together, had come to stay w/ me in my apartment with her daughter. She came to my job for the key as i had 1... however i left laundry on my couch and in it was a pink pair of panties. As they left, i realized it! and kept thinking... ohh maybe they wont see the. But then i was like, well what if they do? .... 1) i could say they are mine. 2) they belonged to another girl (hence saying i was cheating) and 3) i just dont know lol.

well as i got home, her daughter confronted me and i just played dumb! she (the daughter) thought i was cheating! and then my wife to be at the time, reasonsed maybe the daughter had left themn froma previous visit and the matter was dropped.

course when i came out to them 2 months ago, that was one thing i mentioned. I said, those pink panties u found. They were mine!! and she looked at and me and said, she never even thought about that!!!


melissa

[Eryn]

In that situation perhaps it would be better to put the effort toward making sure that you are never discovered by anyone to whom you would have to make excuses. Good security means never having to make excuses.

That being said, I don't think that it is a good idea to conceal CDing from one's spouse.

[Chickhe]

How about... Thought it would be fun... or I'm facinated by the change in appearance and just had to try it... basically, I think you can say anything, but don't attempt to explain why or pour out your feelings because that will scare everyone... my opinion is that it is better to just do it and learn, the main reason I think if you are in the state where you are really scared about being found out, there is a huge amount to learn still before you can have any hope of properly expaining it to someone else.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I spos i... could ....have been caught in womens clothes, many years ago. yet i was not a dresser, . well i was dressed when Mom dressed me after i was born, & then i was dressed by our sunday school teacher, for a end of year do, 1956-7. age 10 -11
& seen by about 80 people & my Mom, so a litte different, other than that , not much after that , till .

19 years ago, it was different, then 11 years ago i was wearing my womens clothes,

Jos knew i would our family it was the start for them to know i would, & when friends or other people came round Jos would say stay in the lounge i'll answer the door, till i got tired of that , then i answered the door , though Jos was, not really happy about that,

Now to late, every one knows what i am, so no probes, i spent two years getting clothes doing makeup & a wig, shoes, till i was ready & happy with what suited my style or looked nice on me, & i was ready to face others, it worked then & now just the same,

There were a few times ... ill use ... caught out , i had my skirt & top on no hair or wig no makeup, because we had a issue on our street, so i was out the door , to help Jos was there plus a few others we then had the Police the ambos, & a few looker on's , i did not care about how i looked i talked with our Police, nether gave it a thought .

After Jos said where.s your wig & makeup, ooops, i said no time for that, & again another time i steped in between a man & appered his friend, he was very abusive, & he thought he could brush me aside, so i got Jos to take the woman . ( trans ), into our home & ring our Police, & then sort this man out, so i keeped him away from the woman. we found out what was going on.

Again just dressed in my skirt top shoes no wig or makeup,,

So there you are, & im the same now, no hair or wigs makeup, , dont use it , people accepted me in what i do,

A bit different ,

...noeleena...

[Kaz]

Over the years I have made all sorts of excuses I guess. In the end no matter how clever you are, things will get out. I am now at a stage where I am just going to be honest. My wife and daughters know but don't like so I have to be very low key and 'out of sight'. Sometimes when I 'forget' something we get 'the look' and maybe a few words. I have had a few moments at work... fishnet stockings with no socks comes to mind! Just didn't say a thing. It goes away as normality takes over.

I guess that sums it up. Normality takes over. So I am a CD? Yeah. Do you have a problem with that? I don't! xx

[Kathy4ever]

Maybe when I was 12 I hid my moms bra between the mattress and box spring. I guess my mom changed the sheets and found it. When confronted told my parents my back was hurting and read that wearing a bra would help with backache. I guess they bought the excuse and never heard word about ever again. Not even after all these years when you sit around talking about old times.

[Beverley Sims]

I have been caught but can't think of situations at the moment.
In stead here is another "caught" story for you.
I was involved in some aircraft experiments with pitot tubes.
They are the protuding tube with a hole for the speed indicator usually on the front or leading edge of a wing.
I was going out with a couple of nurses who went through the glove box of my car.
They found four boxes of condoms containing a dozen each.
Big smiles when I got back to my car, and questions. What are these for, they are no good, are you a stud?
My face got redder and redder and I just wanted to disappear.....
I explained they were dry, medical condoms, covered with powder and we used these over the pitot tubes to stop them operating.
They slipped on and stayed firm until removed for the next phase of the experiments.
Guess what! They didn't believe me. :)

[Tracie]

I probably wouldn't even try to make up an excuse. My voice sounds like a man and just hearing myself speak would be a drag. So I would just say nothing and let whoever was interested just sue me, haha.

[Foxglove]

Hmm, now let's see. I'm walking down the street as usual--nice coat and hat, nice skirt and boots, purse slung over my shoulder, makeup just right--and somebody asks, "What's going on?"

"Oh, well, all my clothes are at the laundry. Had to borrow the wife's stuff today."
"I didn't know you were married."
"Oh, yeah, I mean, I had to borrow the neighbor's wife's stuff. They're like that. They'll do anything for a friend."

It's the nice thing about being out. The only excuse you need is, "Hey, this is just me! Don't worry, the country's not going to fall apart. The bankers and politicians have already taken care of that."

On the other hand, there was the time when I came home, used my parents' bathroom, put my cigarettes on the toilet tank while I was puking--and then forgot the cigarettes. My dad wasn't pleased when he found them. For him, cigarettes are about the worst thing in the world, almost as bad as--I don't know, maybe being a tranny. I had to own up to the cigarettes. There wasn't really anything else I could do.

Annabelle

[Stacey Summer]

I used to have a whole stock of excuses. The usual ones were Halloween, lost bet, charity, dare etc. Now I've reached the point where if I'm caught and they question it I just say "I like doing it, you got a problem with that?" Happened a couple of times and I haven't had a bad immediate response. Lost a mate over it because he just never spoke to me again then I live by the motto "If you have a problem with me or what I do, it's your problem."

[reb.femme]

Do you have good excuses? Even if you favor "total honesty", you're welcome to play the game and think up good or bad excuses. What are the worst excuses you've used, or heard? Or the most humorous?

Just like Cheryl T, I'm the last one to give a good excuse. I too got busted by the wife and the only phrase available at the time was one that sounded like "oh grit". :heehee:

Was thinking of using the old fund raiser excuse as cover for getting my ears pierced soon. Wife seemed open to the suggestion yesterday and she didn't object. Also, I wear nail varnish on my toes most days and the old 'my granddaughter did it" excuse is well past its sell by date but the best I have at present. :o

Rebecca

[Kelley]

I have had color on my toe nails for the last 4 month. I go to the gym regularly on use the whirl pool and steam. I have had a few odd looks but only one comment. When asked about it I said I had 3 good reasons.
1. May nails are ugly and this covered them up (this is true)
2. My wife likes it (mostly true, better than ugly nails)
3. I like it (very true)
The guy has never treated me any differently.

[PretzelGirl]

I don't really think excuses work on anyone that wants to give it a second thought. So you are left hoping the person just doesn't care. My policy is that if I am busted, then coming clean is going to make for the best situation. Anything else and you are thought of things like strange, a liar, or whatever. But if it comes out, then it can be dealt with and not dragged (pun intended) out.

[Rhonda Ann]

The only time I had to come up with an excuse/explain anything was when my exgirlfriend found a dress in the garage closet. I told her it was my moms and had been left here. I like your excuse "doing it for a fund raiser", if something ever does happen I'm using it.

[CynthiaD]

My first reaction is to say nothing and act as if nothing is wrong. (Well, nothing is wrong.) I've never been pressed on the issue, but if I were, I'd say "Oh, I wear this all the time. Haven't you ever noticed?"

[xdressed]

I've prepared excuses for if people find me on this site or my stash, but not for if someone catches me fully dressed. If that happened I'd just tell them, although the only people likely to catch me are my house mates, who I plan to tell fairly soon anyway. I have used the bet excuse once, not because I got caught but because I wanted to dress at a comic con in London. I've also used Halloween and a recent costume party to dress, a few people have mentioned they seem to be seeing photo's of me in a dress on facebook quite often now but I've just laughed it off. No one has expressed any genuine suspicion I'm actually a crossdresser though, maybe because I don't seem insecure about it.

[justmetoo]

I would say, rather than trying to find excuses, own it. Often easier said than done, of course. It takes confidence and I'm getting there. Many of those who are close to me and most likely to come across any of my things have already been told. I'd like to say, if anyone else finds out and has a problem with it that's their problem. I'm getting closer and closer to having that level of confidence and self-acceptance. Good luck to everyone, wherever you are in this journey we call life! :)

[flatlander_48]

There's an old saying:

Lies have short legs...