Holiday reflections.

[I Am Paula]

For three years now, since my wife got cancer, we've had daily outings, sometimes her in a wheelchair, or if she's up to it, a shorter stroll with her walker. We go to malls, restaurants, artist colonies, anywhere to get out of the house for a while. I'm en femme for all of them.
I don't pass perfectly. I know it, and so do most of those I meet. I speak and sing with my male voice. I'm always impeccably dressed, made up, hair, etc. I wouldn't think of leaving the house unshaven, or looking anything except MY best. I have mixed drab, or even just worn just a few items of women's wear, but mostly, the whole nine yards.
So, just guessing at numbers here, I have been seen by 25,000 people. I have spoken to, or otherwise interacted (SA's, waitresses, mechanics, coffee shop patrons) with maybe 2000 people. Then I add in 500,000 people who have seen me on stage, dressed, in the last ten years (sometimes at county fairs I've had audiences of 20,000+) That's ALOT of people.
Bad reactions= zero
Long looks= a few
Disapproving looks=a few
Awkward questions (are you gay, why do you dress like that?)= a few
Compliments, positive reactions= hundreds
Torch bearing villiagers=zero

I look back on this, and I'm generally contented with 'regular' peoples actions and reactions. I'm sure demographics have something to do with it. And Canadians are generally polite to a fault, but I'm not seeing a hostility that gets so much forum time. Going out is not for everybody, and it's a choice you have to weigh heavily, but so far humankind has been very good to me. Merry Christmas, and a safe and happy New Year-Celeste

[kimdl93]

I think you're a living example that we are treated the way we treat others. You clearly dress in a manner that is both appropriate and respectful of others, and I am sure you interact with others in a friendly and equally respectful manner. Or as the song said, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

[ArleneRaquel]

Do unto others as they would do unto you is the best way to live IMO. Best Holliday wishes to kimdl, and celeste. :) And to all members of this Fabulous site.

[Rogina B]

I totally agree on the lack of mobs with torches and forks! I have never seen any..Have a nice Holiday,Rogina

[AllieSF]

It really is wonderful out there meeting all those new people. I have similar experiences to yours, except for that being on stage entertaining most of them. I do better entertaining when I am sitting next to those strangers. In 5+ years of going out to mainstream places, not just to those darker fun bars, I have a hard time counting to 4 the number of times something was not totally cool, and those 4 times were very minor. I hope to keep it that way, but do not try to fool myself. Life is a numbers game and who knows when my number will come up??

I love this life.

[Rachel Morley]

Sure, sometimes there people who read you and figure out your birth gender (especially if you speak in a male voice), but when that happens I bet the majority think to themselves, "Here's a person who is making an effort. Here's a person who is "close enough". I get what's she's saying and doing and so I'm going to treat them as the gender they are presenting as." I think that's what happening and I sure hope that's what people think of me in the same situation.

[Beverley Sims]

I am sorry for your situation.
I am glad you are getting out and being active.
Obviously you get a lot more looks than normal because of your wife in the wheel chair or walker.
Enjoy the best of life with your wife and I wish you all the best.
Everyone else has covered everything else so stay good. :)

[Victoria StJohn]

Celeste, I wish you and your wife a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May 2013 bring you and yours many remarkable outings. Cheers, VSJ.

[LaraPeterson]

Dear, dear Celeste, thank you for you encouraging post; the more I get out the more I find the pitchforks must be on another planet. Everyone I encounter is very nice, even if they don't understand.

I certainly hope that you wife gets better--and I hope both of you have a wonderful holiday season.