What the hell just happened?!

[Monkeyt]

Hi all, this could take a while so bear with me!

I'm a married man with 2 young children, I work away and only get home a max of two days a week, money's a bit tight at the moment and In general, relationships with my wife and in general thing are difficult and not great. As a result, stress levels have been quite high and ( I thought) I was one of those macho blokes that just shuts up n gets on with it. Recently I've been looking at women out and about and rather than fancying them, I've been looking at what they've been wearing and feeling jealous and wondering what it would feel like to wear those clothes. After a bit of soil searching I blurted out to my wife one night recently how I felt and could I try some of her clothes on? I've never crossdressed before and not knowingly felt compelled to either, I'm open minded towards all types of person so not worried from that point of view. Anyway, after a difficult conversation I ended up in a dress , underwear, tights and heels. My wife wasn't particularly impressed with the situation but could see that I needed to get it out there and deal with it. My wife helped me choose the outfit but I couldnt get changed in front of her. Once dressed, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror and it took ages to pluck up the courage to walk (unsteadily!) out of the bedroom to face my wife. We sat together on the sofa and talked a few bits through and after a while I got changed back to normal and we had cleared the air and opened up a lot to each other, felt strange that I had to wear a dress to kickstart the process. After sleeping on it and a fairly cagey day after I felt that it didn't have the same appeal, we went out and I didn't feel jealous of other women and i told my wife that i sthought it was a one off event, obviously we are worried that it my surface again and cause us a problem. my wife has made it clear that although supportive of me, if it was to happen again/ regularly she feels she couldnt cope with it, fair enough, thats her way and i respect that. once my kids were in bed that next night I decided to wear the outfit again. This time I felt totally different, I felt silly, was able to look at myself in mirror, it felt like I was a "normal" guy going to a fancy dress party as a woman. So my question is: is this normal? Have any of you felt like that? How have you dealt with it? It's helped myself and my wife to get our relationship heading in right direction for now, how do I deal with it if the feelings do come back? Any advice/ help gratefully received, feeling very confused and out of sorts at mo. thanks for reading.

[jillleanne]

Ok, first off, stop searching for soil; it won't help in the least. As for the rest of it, well, it's normal for you. There is nothing 'normal' but there are similarities in various things the human species does. If you feel normal that's all that matters. I accept all things that occur in my life; if I didn't, I'd go bananas. If these feelings come back, tell your wife and discuss them in detail in a mature calm way. While you two are talking, you may want to discuss any other issues you both may be having. Why get a filling when you can have a root canal.

[becky77]

Odd story! Not sure I can help as I have been transgendered all my life. The idea it can just happen out of the blue one day is borderline absurd (to me). At best I could say it was down to stress, especially if you have never felt any of this before?
Hopefully someone else can relate to your story, because I certainly can't.
Good luck.

[Eryn]

There is nothing unusual about your feelings and actions, except that you are to be commended for including your wife in the loop right away. Most men with these feelings hide them away almost as a reflex action.

It is also not unusual to have very mixed feelings about viewing yourself or having your wife see you at first. The first person who has to accept our dressing is ourselves.

Additionally, it might be that your wife's clothes are not suited to you. You could be more comfortable and attractive in clothes acquired specifically for you.

It takes time to learn how to present well. Every GG had had a couple of decades to learn the skills required and we can't expect to have learn them instantly. Enjoy the learning curve!

[xdressed]

The idea it can just happen out of the blue one day is borderline absurd (to me)...

It's exactly how I started at 14 though, just suddenly out of nowhere I had an intense need to put on a bra. MonkeyT's experience is very much like mine except that his wife is there right from the very start.

If these feelings come back again, all I can really say is don't fight them, just talk them through with your wife. I'm sure a bit of research on this forum and elsewhere online will be of benefit to you

[Jacky Aikou]

Hi MonkeyT,

I would say simply to go with the flow and keep an open dialogue with your wife. You certainly don't want to add more stress to your life either way. If you do have the urge to dress, suppressing it can cause you anxiety, but the opposite extreme (constantly dressing as a female) would no doubt trouble your wife immensely. Just take your time and proceed with care!

I'm puzzled that as a grown man and father you've never had the notion to crossdress before. I and many of the girls here have practiced varying degrees of gender-inappropriate behavior since early childhood, or at least since adolescence. Has this urge really just now beset you? I suppose anything is possible, as we're all different.

If you do make a habit or just occasional forays into exploring your feminine side, though, please enjoy it -- and good luck with everything!

[Monkeyt]

Thanks for replying, (and spotting spellcheck errors!)
I appreciate that everyone is different and feels differently about situations/themselves. I feel like a complete outsider on this site as its something that doesn't feel natural/normal to me and to be frank scares the life out of me if this is the course my life could be taking me, eryn. Your post scares me with the thought of buying my own things and embracing it. By doing that I feel I would be pushing my wife/ family/friends away just for the sake of wearing different clothes! (Please all be aware I mean no offence to anyone with the way I say things. I'm not anti "different" in any way I just don't know how to deal with the way I felt/could feel again) Becky77 I agree! The whole situation seems absurd but it helped with opening up to my wife. We have a few issues to work out, crossdressing is just a new added extra! I think subconsciously I needed a way to open up, when we have tried talking before I normally end up clamming up and killing any progress, doing it dressed as a woman took me out of my comfort zone and I felt defenceless and weak, emotions poured out (sounds like a sexist view no offence intended!) it set us on the way to starting to resolve issues but opened up a whole new issue! Our issues aren't drastic and with effort from both of us we can resolve them (hopefully) but crossdressing is totally out there and I have no idea how to deal with it! Anyone else got any advice? It prob sounds like I'm looking for someone to say the magic word and it will fix it, not quite the case although that would be great! But just hearing others views on it could help, whatever way things go

[mikiSJ]

MonkeyT

You'll get a lot of advice, mostly experiential. Some will head one way some will head another. It is ok to pick and choose what you think will work for you.

If you come across a post that seems to fit better than others, email the poster and maybe start a one on one conversation. It may help.

If you can't find the help you need, there are really good therapists out there that will help you, without judgement.

[Monkeyt]

Hi jacky,

As far as I can remember the urge to experiment hasn't been there, fairly "normal" upbringing, I have two older sisters but there was never any dressing up or gender play, through adolescence n teens and early adulthood nothing jumps out, don't think I've ever even gone to a fancy dress party! Was a complete shock to me when started feeling I wanted to try it I'd say I've felt this need for maybe 6 months/ a year? Not entirely sure tbh. Maybe stress is the answer? Pass, it all makes my head hurt trying to figure it out!

[Karren H]

Sudden onset crossdressing? lol.... I don't know.... I've been crossdressing for 5 decades and it took a number of them... decades to deal with it..... if it comes back and never goes away then you just have to accept it as part of you and move on... that's what I did.... long long time ago..

[Monkeyt]

I know! From looking at other sites/ forums etc I feel like the odd one out! My head is spinning with it, my wife says mid life crisis!! (I'm 30 btw) and if it is mid life crisis she would of preferred a silly little sports car!! She's dealing with exceptionally well but has made it clear she wouldn't be comfortable with it and at the moment I don't think I would either!

[Karren H]

trust me... it would be better for you and your family if you ran away from here.... and just went out and bought a Corvette! My wife would let me get a Porche of I quit crossdressing... lol

[docrobbysherry]

I've got good news and bad news for u, Monkey.

The good news:
As your CDing develops, your wife will experience it with u! What? Doesn't sound like good news? Tell that to all the other CDs here who didn't tell their SO's about their dressing until many years after being married. Or, the ones that still haven't!

The bad news:
I didn't start dressing until age 50. Totally out of the blue. I even dressed as sexy female and my ex as a guy for a big Halloween party years ago. It made such an impression on me that I remembered doing that about 12 years after beginning to dress!

I feel like an outsider here, too. Because I'm a fetish dresser. You're vanilla here compared to me!

Lastly, in the bad news dept., I often look in the mirror and think, "What the heck am I doing? This is childish at best, but more likely sick and pervy." Which doesn't stop me from dressing, because I get so much enjoyment from it! And, u can see from my pics how deeply I'm into it!

Monkey, your trip down the CD rabbit hole is just beginning! I wish u and your SO all the best!

[Eryn]

I know! From looking at other sites/ forums etc I feel like the odd one out! My head is spinning with it, my wife says mid life crisis!! (I'm 30 btw) and if it is mid life crisis she would of preferred a silly little sports car!! She's dealing with exceptionally well but has made it clear she wouldn't be comfortable with it and at the moment I don't think I would either!

When I first joined this site, my .sig line read "I thought that my mid-life crisis would involve a woman and a fast car, little did I know that I would be the woman!"

Having spent some time analyzing my situation, I can see that the seeds of CDing were there all along in the form of what I call an "inordinate interest in things feminine." I didn't really see this until I gained perspective by being an active CDer.

My wife would probably have preferred the sports car at the time, but my CDing has actually brought us closer. She realized that this was an important part of me and we have shared my exploration. Your wife seems to be a reasonable woman and she might be willing to share in yours as well. Just remember to keep nurturing your relationship with your wife and things will be fine.

[Andy66]

This exact same thing happened to my cousin Vinnie Sue. Next thing you know, she runs away to join a flea circus.

...Okay, all of that was a total lie. But seems to me that this is only as complicated as you make it.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It would be well worth looking at your new found motivation for wearing women's clothing and trying to figure out what sparked it.

To be frank, if it is at all possible, if you can say no, if you don't feel an irresistible need to dress, don't. It isn't worth losing your family over if you can choose not to dress (not to mention it will also make finding another woman far more difficult.)

[Brenda79135]

Take a deep breath. Stress itself can trigger all sorts of things. A certain amount of stress is healthy. Being overstressed can start a cascade of problems. From your OP you are away for most of the week and don't get to spend time with your family. You are probably sitting in a motel room some place with way to much time on your hands. Being alone in itself can be very stressful, knowing that you have a family that you can't see because of job. You may be a little jealous of your wife because she is at home. You want the same thing. I don't blame you. It's your family after all. Find another hobbie that allows you to take you mind off of the dressing (if there is one) and re-center on your wife and kids.

[Georgina2]

Monkeyt
Notice you work away and that your relationship with your wife is difficult and not great and you have been stressed.Is this because of your being away or other reasons.Looking at women and wondering what it would be like to wear their clothes suggests to me a deep rooted desire to crossdress.It was great that your wife helped you choose the clothes and didn't just freak out as many wives would.Good that you cleared the air.Maybe it was more like to girls talking rather than husband and wife.Did you find that whilst dressed you felt less stressed?If so this is what a lot of us girls feel.Yes I often felt silly when I didn't or couldn't accept that this was apart of me and in my DNA.This caused me all shorts of heartache and led me to drink,swear and do all the so called macho things. It was only when I came to terms that I am wired the way the way I am and embraced my female side that I felt at peace with myself and became a nicer person. If the feelings come back embrace the feeling as you are not on your own you have the whole of this community to help and guide you on the journey.Be sure to share with your lovely wife but don't let what we call the pink fog take over. Dont forget your wife married a man and to her that is what you will always be first a husband and father.If you never forget this I am sure that you can follow the path with her consent and help.Not trying to tell you which way to go but I think you are showing all the signs of having more than a passing interest in expressing your femine side.The fact you are 30 and not had these feelings before is not that strange.Some of us are in their 40s,50s or even 60s before the interest in female things rears its head and after a lot of sole searching usually find something in the past that they can say made them the way they are but buried it in their subconscious.So about the long post but am trying to help you.Good luck whichever way life takes you

xxx Georgina xxx

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Sudden onset crossdressing? lol.... I don't know.... I've been crossdressing for 5 decades and it took a number of them... decades to deal with it..... if it comes back and never goes away then you just have to accept it as part of you and move on... that's what I did.... long long time ago.. Ok I copied and pasted what Karren said because it is the same for me. I used to think that I was the only wierdo like this back when I was 7 or 8 but oh how things have changed.

[Beverley Sims]

I would read Eryn's posts, and read them again.
Some here are skeptical but yes, you can feel ashamed, silly and also want to run away and hide.
At least you and your wife are talking about it so as you progress as you will realise that a lot of feelings on both sides will change.
I do advocate playing down the girly pretty image that you will get now and then and when it all matures and you have read what others have done you can carefully try experimentation yourself.
I think you are off to a good start and a lot of self analysis will be the norm.
Be considerate and honest to your wife and take it slowly.

[suchacutie]

Well, I was a 55 year old contented male who, within 48 hours, had dressed for the first time (with my wife), got named, got an e-mail address so that my femme side could have her first voice, joined this site, and realized that there was a feminine side that had been there hidden at the time. We suddenly wanted to know how she had affected me, my relationships, my marriage, and also the future!

Life just took a turn, and it's been fascinating!

[kelliT]

Monkeyt, I've gone through my rounds of different emotions at different points in my life. But one thing that stood out was your stress levels. There is something soothing and calming during time of stress. There is a nurturing side of myself that I seek during these times. Although my wife has approved of things like having a drawer full of womens undies and pants, etc. I still feel self concience of wearing too much in front of her, especially only half assed. So I feel your needing more of your nurturing side right now.


Take a deep breath. Stress itself can trigger all sorts of things. A certain amount of stress is healthy. Being overstressed can start a cascade of problems. From your OP you are away for most of the week and don't get to spend time with your family. You are probably sitting in a motel room some place with way to much time on your hands. Being alone in itself can be very stressful, knowing that you have a family that you can't see because of job. You may be a little jealous of your wife because she is at home. You want the same thing. I don't blame you. It's your family after all. Find another hobbie that allows you to take you mind off of the dressing (if there is one) and re-center on your wife and kids.

I agree, remember the yin and yang. The male energy wants to do, do do. The Feminine energy wants to take it slow, relaxed. Look to rebalancing yourself.

[Barbara Ella]

I have to put my story out there for you Monkey. Please realize you are not alone in your finding. I know it bores everyone, but i tried my mom's bra when I was 8. No hint of desires to crossdress until I turned 65 last year. Seemingly out of the blue, a desire to put on a pair of panties. i felt so much peace when I did that. I was not overstress, having retired 5 years prior, while maintaining a pleasant work load. You have jumped in with both feet. It took me two months before I was wearing panties and hose, another month for bras, another month for skirts, heels, blouses. Another month for wig and makeup, and full femme. etc. etc. You can question why over and over, i still do,and have had quite a number of revelations about certain behaviors that I now see were not necessarily male driven, but feminine desired. Just don't let the worry detract from any relaxation/enjoyment you may derive from this. Do not over load your wife. this is harder on her than it is on you, believe it or not.

Take a step back, and just try wearing panties or hose for awhile to see if this helps. You may or may not find a feminine side, and you may find that dressing is just a great comfort. Many here are extremely happy with that. Don't worry about the future, you have enough on your plate to integrate this new feeling.

Best of luck

Barbara

[Lorileah]

Wearing a dress is probably better than drinking a gallon of ale. You did something that allowed you to get open with your wife. Psychologists call it role playing or even role reversal. Think this way, you see women as being able to express themselves. You allowed yourself to get there via the clothes. Many use dressing as stress relief. Ain't no thing. It was fun, but now it's over. Like I said better than an affair to get tho the same point right?And if it allows you to open up, what's the harm?

Yeah, you are normal.

[weezah]

Looks like you have a lot of good advice already posted. Definitely keep communicating with your wife.

Can you describe your urge to dress? Did you want to feel pretty? Was it arousal? Did you just want to see what it was like?

[Monkeyt]

I wanted to dress because I was curious about how the clothes felt. I would see woman walking around in heels and skirts and tight jeans etc and rather than thinking like a "normal" man that she looked good or ugly or whatever I felt jealous of what she would be wearing. That feeling went on for some time, not totally sure how long, and then just blurted out to my wife I wanted to try it. After a chat about it we went into the bedroom and she sat and watched as I got a dress out and tights n shoes etc out. I put them on the bed and she said to go ahead and change into them. I couldn't with her there so she left the room and I got changed. Tbh I looked ridiculous but to me it wasn't how I looked that mattered. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror and couldn't pluck up the courage to leave the room for a while. First thing I realised was walking in heels isn't as easy as it looks! After sitting chatting for a bit about dressing and a lot of our other issues I got my wife to take a picture of me. I then got changed back to my jeans n t shirt and a bit later looked at the pic. That helped because I did look ridiculous! We even joked that the dress made me look pregnant! I think that after that I realised I felt differently about dressing after that, it didn't have any appeal at all and doesn't now. The next night I (twisted logic coming up!) made myself dress again in same outfit because I felt I didn't want to. I suppose I forced myself to confront it again to test how I felt. Totally different feelings! The first time I wore the dress was probably for a couple of hours while we talked, this time was 20mins max I think. Anyone else ever felt like that about dressing? If so was it a one off? Did you feel like dressing again? I guess that I'm scared of wanting to do it again and changing my life completely because my wife wouldn't be able to understandably deal with it.

[weezah]

Sounds like you just wanted to try it out of pure curiosity. You don't really sound like a habitual cross dresser to me.

Did you enjoy dressing up the 1st time? If you did, there's a chance the feeling can come back. If both times you weren't really feeling it, I think its safe to say you won't get then urge to continue cross dressing.

[ReineD]

The first time I wore the dress was probably for a couple of hours while we talked, this time was 20mins max I think. Anyone else ever felt like that about dressing? If so was it a one off? Did you feel like dressing again? I guess that I'm scared of wanting to do it again and changing my life completely because my wife wouldn't be able to understandably deal with it.

For the most part, the regulars in this forum are here because they derive a psychological benefit from the CDing. I'm guessing that men who have tried it and decided it wasn't for them, do not join crossdressing forums to share their experiences and ask others how they feel about it.

If you feel that it doesn't sit well with you and you feel ridiculous trying, then you'll soon put it out of your mind and move on.

If on the other hand you want to talk about this because you are indeed still interested, and you would dress more if you knew how to not look like yourself in a dress, then you'll continue to come around. You'll read threads about putting on makeup and finding appropriate wigs & breast forms, you'll look at pictures in our Picture Gallery to get ideas for clothing and styles. You'll make friends among the members here and you'll begin sorting through your feelings of wanting to express femininity. You'll begin to accept the crossdressing within yourself so that you can start talking to your wife about this. No one can say whether she would be accepting of the CDing or not. But, if she isn't then you'll both need to carve out some time and a place for you to dress without her involvement.

Whichever way it goes, I wish you the best possible outcome. :)

[Monkeyt]

Hi Reined,
I can see your point that if I wasn't interested I wouldn't be here and if I was to deal with this alone I probably wouldn't, it was my wife's idea to sign up and talk to people that have been there and done it and how it's affected their lives/relationships. She knows about me posting and has probably read and reread every post a hundred times over!It has helped me massively! To hear I'm not the only one (which I know is obvious!) was a relief and just writing my story out has been therapeutic, didn't matter if no one responded. There's been lots of good points have been raised both for and against continuing to dress. As it stands I have no desire to try it again but we both fear that the desire could return which is why I'm still here! I need to prove to myself that whatever route my life takes (which at the moment is not crossdressing) ive nade the right and informed choices. One thing I have realised is that by doing what I did I was incredibly selfish, I took all my probs, put on a dress etc unloaded it all onto my wife and then told her not to tell a soul about my moment of weakness/weirdness!! (No offence intended there)Great, shift the issues to her! I spoke to her today when I realised what I had done and said it was ok if she wanted to talk to her best friend about it. She did which she says has helped. Not sure it's going to help me next time I see her friend but I realised its not just about me which for me is a huge step! Excuse the pun but I put myself in her shoes and it opened my eyes to how she feels. Neither of us know what the future holds but hopefully were together in it! I'm probably here looking for free therapy sorry!!

[Gretchen_To_Be]

MonkeyT, I just came out to my wife also and joined this forum, and both have been enormously therapeutic. You mentioned heels and skirts...well, that is also powerfully erotic for me. I don't think I will ever be a TG, but the idea of feeling the sensation of pantyhose and high heels, and seeing my legs look somewhat like a woman's is overwhelmingly attractive to me. It also extremely interesting for me to see a beautiful woman dressed that way--as a man, I feel aroused by the sight (thank god my wife has beautiful legs and likes to show them off) and that makes me feel "manly", but at the same time envious. Not only do I want to make love to her, I want to look like her and feel what she's feeling.

[TeresaL]

As it stands I have no desire to try it again but we both fear that the desire could return which is why I'm still here!...

...I need to prove to myself that whatever route my life takes (which at the moment is not crossdressing) ive nade the right and informed choices.
There is nothing wrong with either place you may find yourself in. You seem to have done it out of curiosity, possibly driven by stress, and are concerned that you may be stuck with it. Only time will tell.

My son, 37, and I were talking about crossdressing in general, and he was trying to get an understanding of why I do it. So he tried an experiment several years ago by wearing his wife's clothing.

He said, "you know what dad, it doesn't affect me like it does you, so I guess you didn't pass the gene on to me." That was the end of it for him. For whatever reason, he doesn't need it and hasn't repeated it. It was a test he needed to do because he knew how much his dad suffered and worried that he might also.

As with my other kids, we are ok to be us. They just haven't joined in with me in wearing the opposite sex's apparel, and I'm not sad that they don't. Yet they accept me, warts, barnacles, and shackles. They've even, as of late, counseled and consoled my wife, and have bought her up to speed in accepting me with this issue.

Having the wife on board is imperative, if you've gotta do it. You've started up with her, and it would be very painful without her by your side.

As did my son, you've tried it, and you've said you have no desire to try it again. You may be free from it! If you can leave that sleeping dog sleep.

I wish you good luck.

[ReineD]

Not sure it's going to help me next time I see her friend

Oh, don't worry about that. Most people have no clue what the CDing is about, so I'm sure that your wife's friend will explain it away to herself as a harmless foray into kink. Lots of people are kinky, this is not something to get shocked about.

As to the rest, in my opinion it's a mistake to say that you've "burdened" your wife. She's a big girl, and I'm sure that she would rather know what you're thinking and what you want, than have you engage in certain behaviors behind her back. I personally would hate the secrecy and the lies. Also, experimenting with dressing to come to the conclusion that you do not enjoy the experience is not a burden. A lot of people experiment.

[heatherdress]

I started dressing a few years back - without any history. It was actually at my wife's suggestion - another story. But I think the first few times I actually dressed, I enjoyed the experience - enjoyed the thrill and sensation of wearing stilletos, stockings, underwear - but I did look rather unsightly. I knew I needed make-up, wig and clothes that fit to look good. I felt sexy but did not look sexy - to myself. I then had a transformation experience at a shop in LasVegas - I felt great - I thought I looked great - and it amazed my wife. Full make up, hair, stockings, dress, jewelry, perfume. It amazed me.

There must be a reason you had an urge to try on a dress, it was great that you discussed this with your wife, and you had an interesting, and perhaps confusing, experience. Take your time to figure this out. My crossdressing has become very meaningful. It is fun. It has increased intimacy with my wife. It relieves stress. I am glad that I was encouraged along and supported by my wife.

[Joanne f]

You say that you have always thought that you are a macho type of man which no doubt your wife picks up on as well so it is not surprising that you had the reaction that you did when first seeing yourself in a dress as it can come as bit of a shock to one's system to feel like you have some sort of feminine feelings within you that want to come out , you are wondering if it will emerge again well to be honest I expect it will but you need to tread very carefully as your wife has already commented on the fact that she does not really like it so be very careful that you do not go into this what some call the pink fog and loose control over what you are doing ( oh yes it can happen) and don't do to much behind your wife's back as if she finds out that will relay set the cat amongst the pigeons although it is unrealistic to think that you will not do any at all , keep in touch with your wife feelings about it and respect them as that will help you both in the long run .

[GaleWarning]

Monkey, I seldom get the urge to dress and yes, it does happen more often when I am feeling stressed.
Don't panic!
You are not necessarily on a slippery slope to becoming somebody neither you nor your wife might be afraid of.
Perhaps it was a one-off thing; perhaps it is the beginning of a new and exciting phase in your life. Who knows?
As long as you and your wife are open and honest with one another, all ought to be well.

[Monkeyt]

Thank you all, there has been some really good advice thrown out there and I feel I'm coming to terms with the issue, it's feeling like I found it as a stress relief and a kick starter to my relationship with my wife. I'm a lot more relaxed in term of telling her how I'm feeling about all our problems and that wouldn't of happened without opening up about trying a dress on. Still seems like a very extreme way to open up but it's worked and I'm happy with that. At the moment, no desire to dress again and if the feelings/urges do come back I feel safe that I can talk to her about it rather than bottle it up or go and dress behind her back which to me would feel like I was cheating on her. I know there isn't a quick fix but reckon I've taken big steps in the right direction and for that I am grateful to everyone that has joined in this thread. We'll take things one day at a time and see where we end up. Trust in each other and find each other again. I just hope I havnt burnt my bridges before rescuing our relationship. Time will tell.

[ReineD]

I just hope I havnt burnt my bridges before rescuing our relationship. Time will tell.

Did I miss something? What, in your relationship needs rescuing? You spoke earlier of telling your wife that you had felt jealous of other women's looks and you wanted to try dressing, which your wife agreed to. She then took pictures of you at your request and the two of you spent a few hours talking while you were dressed. The next day you only dressed for 20 minutes and discovered that it didn't do all that much for you.

So how has your relationship been strained by this? Did your wife not agree that you should try on the clothes on the first night?

[Monkeyt]

Our relationship was strained before crossdressing came up, I basically refused/couldn't open up to my wife about any of it, it was things like money, kids putting effort into relationship etc. I bottled everything up and then the crossdressing jealousy/ urges started happening. It took something as drastic as crossdressing to make myself open up first about that then talking through everything else. The crossdressing was a side effect of bottling everything up. Well that's how I see it at the moment. The pictures were so I could see myself from another perspective, and I'm lucky that my wife could see I needed to get it out there and start re evaluating my life. Even after all if put her through, she has still been understanding enough to help me deal with this and for that I am so thankful.