weezah
12-19-2012, 05:07 PM
Until today, I've only dressed up around my gf at home. Not anymore!
I was doing my makeup this morning and thought, "hey, this looks pretty good" and spontaneously went out. My gf and YouTube both taught me how to apply makeup more naturally. I used to wear blue eye shadow and red lipstick all the time lol.
I wore a purple dress with black leggings and black boots. I threw on a hoodie and pajama pants over my female clothes so my neighbors wouldn't take notice. No one was outside anyway. I hop in my car and drive about 40 minutes out of town and pull up to a Walmart. I finally took my male clothes off and step out of my car. Super scary moment. I almost backed down but I was like, "I came all this way, I should do this."
I took a deep breath and left the safety of my car. If you've seen the movie 28 weeks later, it felt like the opening scene where the guy leaves his cabin, he opens the door and its really bright out and hes just so vulnerable to a zombie attack lol.
I pass by a few people in the parking lot but no one looks at me. When I enter Walmart, a young woman makes eye contact with me and I'm like, "oh god she knows!!".
I quickly learn that no one actually gives a crap and my heart rate slows down to just really fast instead of really really really fast. I always dreamed of shopping for clothes and makeup while free of harassment or fear. I literally dreamed. It was a dream a come true! I had my disguise on! So I bought a cute looking top, some purple tights, sunglasses and some foundation because I was almost out at home. While testing the color on my skin, another young woman said excuse me, and grabbed some lipgloss. She was barely looking at me to my surprise. When she walked away, I watched her to see if she was going to give me a second look like, "holy crap is that a guy?" But nothing. She just kept walking.
I was feeling brave now. That gave me the idea of walking up to two girls who worked there. They were talking about something when i started to pretend to look at stuff they were standing in front of. They looked at me and said, "oh excuse me." and stepped aside and continued talking. Then I walked away but hid behind a corner to eavesdrop lol. They didn't mention me at all. Ive completely passed!
I went to checkout but realized there were no self checkouts. My confidence was sky high anyway so I went to a register with an old Indian lady. Kinda like a robot, she said, "hello, how are you." I just smiled. I felt like Ariel from the little mermaid without a voice lol. I paid for the items and was about to leave when she stopped me, "ma'am." I don't remember if I smiled but my heart just warmed up at the fact that she called me ma'am.
She pointed at the foundation in my cart that I had not put on the conveyor belt thing. "Did you want to buy that too?"
"Omg. I'm sorry yes."
Whoops. Lol I have an unmistakably male voice. Very deep. She stared at me and I could see her brain processing it. I hurried up and paid for the foundation and bailed! Strangely, that gave me some more courage too. I realized, if someone reads me, nothing will happen anyway.
I was so happy. I felt like skipping home and singing little mermaid songs haha. But my home is 40 minutes away by car.
Anyways, that was my day. I want to post a pic but can't on my phone for some reason.
I was doing my makeup this morning and thought, "hey, this looks pretty good" and spontaneously went out. My gf and YouTube both taught me how to apply makeup more naturally. I used to wear blue eye shadow and red lipstick all the time lol.
I wore a purple dress with black leggings and black boots. I threw on a hoodie and pajama pants over my female clothes so my neighbors wouldn't take notice. No one was outside anyway. I hop in my car and drive about 40 minutes out of town and pull up to a Walmart. I finally took my male clothes off and step out of my car. Super scary moment. I almost backed down but I was like, "I came all this way, I should do this."
I took a deep breath and left the safety of my car. If you've seen the movie 28 weeks later, it felt like the opening scene where the guy leaves his cabin, he opens the door and its really bright out and hes just so vulnerable to a zombie attack lol.
I pass by a few people in the parking lot but no one looks at me. When I enter Walmart, a young woman makes eye contact with me and I'm like, "oh god she knows!!".
I quickly learn that no one actually gives a crap and my heart rate slows down to just really fast instead of really really really fast. I always dreamed of shopping for clothes and makeup while free of harassment or fear. I literally dreamed. It was a dream a come true! I had my disguise on! So I bought a cute looking top, some purple tights, sunglasses and some foundation because I was almost out at home. While testing the color on my skin, another young woman said excuse me, and grabbed some lipgloss. She was barely looking at me to my surprise. When she walked away, I watched her to see if she was going to give me a second look like, "holy crap is that a guy?" But nothing. She just kept walking.
I was feeling brave now. That gave me the idea of walking up to two girls who worked there. They were talking about something when i started to pretend to look at stuff they were standing in front of. They looked at me and said, "oh excuse me." and stepped aside and continued talking. Then I walked away but hid behind a corner to eavesdrop lol. They didn't mention me at all. Ive completely passed!
I went to checkout but realized there were no self checkouts. My confidence was sky high anyway so I went to a register with an old Indian lady. Kinda like a robot, she said, "hello, how are you." I just smiled. I felt like Ariel from the little mermaid without a voice lol. I paid for the items and was about to leave when she stopped me, "ma'am." I don't remember if I smiled but my heart just warmed up at the fact that she called me ma'am.
She pointed at the foundation in my cart that I had not put on the conveyor belt thing. "Did you want to buy that too?"
"Omg. I'm sorry yes."
Whoops. Lol I have an unmistakably male voice. Very deep. She stared at me and I could see her brain processing it. I hurried up and paid for the foundation and bailed! Strangely, that gave me some more courage too. I realized, if someone reads me, nothing will happen anyway.
I was so happy. I felt like skipping home and singing little mermaid songs haha. But my home is 40 minutes away by car.
Anyways, that was my day. I want to post a pic but can't on my phone for some reason.