unaccepting spouse question

[Kathy4ever]

If your wife is unaccepting and knows and want let you dress do you think they buy something for themselves to make you envious. My wife bought a black dress and a pair pumps that I don't see her ever wearing. When I saw them i was hoping they were for me which I highly doubt would happen. I did try on the dress and it fits nicely but the shoes were too small. At first glance i thought the pumps were my size but when I went to try on I was dissapointed they did not fit.

[noeleena]

Hi,

tit for tat, maybe, though i would be sitting down & talk about what you need to do with the half share, you know you compliment each other, or give & take with the lesser on the take, bit,

There must be a common ground to work on not all one or the other, did you mean wont let you. marrage is half each you both bring some thing along so both can benifit .

To me its not about the clothes shoes what ever its about whats really going on, & that may not have been aired brought out in to the open .

You are takeing lincence here, did your S O say the dress & pumps were for you, dont think so, so why try them on theres more going on here, why go behind your S O 's back. lack of trust me thinks,

Time for the talk. get it all out in the open, then work on what will be best for you both, compomise is needed,

...noeleena...

[ClosetED]

My wife bought an outfit she told me was to attract a real man. She would wear it if I dressed again. So maybe your wife has similar thoughts - a cute outfit to wear when she had enough of you to find someone who will find her sexually attractive. Not that you don't in your mind, but she may not feel that way in her mind.

[kimdl93]

That's an odd assertion. My guess is that I'df your wife buys something it's because she thought it looked good on her...not as some sort of passive aggressive dig at you. If you feel envious...that's a feeling you've chosen.

[Shelly Preston]

I dont think she bought them with you in mind at all

She bought the dress and pumps to make herself feel good

If she is unaccepting she is very unlikely to buy you anything

I suggest you wear your own clothes and not hers as this will only make things worse

[Jana]

do you think they buy something for themselves to make you envious.

It would do you some good accepting the fact that life isn't always about you...

[Michelle 51]

My wife will sometimes tease me with something she's bought.She'll come out in a new skirt or with shoes on and look at me with a grin and say "I bet you wish you were wearing this right now''.We're not the same size so I have no worries about who she buys for.Shes a professional so there are always new cloths around but they don't fit this girl.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Perhaps she is jealous of you wearing sexy outfits and she is trying to work up the nerve to wear something similar. Only she knows for sure. But one thing I am pretty sure of myself is that it she finds you wearing her sexy dress, or finds evidence that you did, you are going to be in deep doodoo. Wearing her clothes without her knowing about it, especially when you know she disapproves of you dressing in your own clothes, shows a lack of respect for her.

Deedee (who has been in deep doodoo before!)

[Karren H]

Yeah!.... My wife buys sexy jeans all the time.... makes me so jealous.... lol

[linny_aggy]

...i think i'm sailing pretty OK here...she doesn't know !!

[Beverley Sims]

My wife buys things that suit her and is not spiteful in any way towards the way I dress.
I suppose I am with the lucky ones. :)

[STACY B]

My wife bought an outfit she told me was to attract a real man. She would wear it if I dressed again. So maybe your wife has similar thoughts - a cute outfit to wear when she had enough of you to find someone who will find her sexually attractive. Not that you don't in your mind, but she may not feel that way in her mind.



I here yaaaaaaaaaa,,, When she does put it on you go an get all dressed up just like her an say what the hell might as well be a girls night out together ? Maybe you will both get Lucky !!!

[Eryn]

Women often buy things that they don't wear right away. She might have found those pumps for a good price and bought them against the day that she will need them to complete an outfit yet to be determined. Pumps are hardly something that most GGs use every day! I don't think that a woman would buy items simply to "get back" at a CDing spouse. If unaccepting she's more concerned with "curing" what she considers her husband's aberrant behavior.

Unaccepting spouses are put through a wringer even worse than that of accepting spouses. They don't have the outlet of talking to their husbands and others about their husband's CDing. They're clinging to the concept that CDing is a kinky fetish and can be cured if they are just stick to their guns, which most likely is not what will happen. They've drawn their line in the sand and they are forced to stick by it even if things don't go their way. It's sad, but when communication is prohibited conflict usually escalates.

BTW, those who are using the word "jealous" in this discussion would do well to look up the definitions of "jealousy" and "envy."


You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

[KatieTaylor]

My wife has recently had a sort out of all her clothes. I commented that most of what she has, she never wears, nice dresses, shoes, boots, flattering clothes etc. Her response was that she wears them when she goes out with her female friends. Normally she wears jeans and jumpers when around me. We very very rarely go out as a couple. I often wonder if I am just a cheap babysitter!
My wife hates Katie btw.
Katie x

[LauraFaye]

I've had several unaccepting so's but never one that was cruel. I can't imagine some of the things described here

[Jenniferathome]

No. They don't think about our cross dressing. My wife says it is never on her mind unless I tell her I am going to dress. She sees my clothes in the closet but they are just clothes, not a cross dressers' clothes


My wife bought an outfit she told me was to attract a real man. She would wear it if I dressed again. So maybe your wife has similar thoughts - a cute outfit to wear when she had enough of you to find someone who will find her sexually attractive. Not that you don't in your mind, but she may not feel that way in her mind.

ClosetED, I'm sorry for your situation,but a relationship based on a threat is not a relationship. You and your SO need to talk ASAP or you are finished. I couldn't imagine living under that condition. She may hate,your cross dressing, that's ok. But the threat means she has no respect for you. Good luck

[Bo-peep]

My wife bought an outfit she told me was to attract a real man. She would wear it if I dressed again. So maybe your wife has similar thoughts - a cute outfit to wear when she had enough of you to find someone who will find her sexually attractive. Not that you don't in your mind, but she may not feel that way in her mind.

I wish your wife the best of luck in finding a 'Real Man' .... and when she does, and she finds he is a beer swilling thug who most probably has a woman in every bar, she may realise that her husband was actually a damn good guy ... it is so sad to read what your wife said to you ClosetEd :( You deserve better

[Barbara Ella]

Unless they have been really pushed ( or placed themselves) into a corner, I doubt she would be that vindictave. You can take a higher road here, and be proactive. you say you both don't go out often. Take this noticing of the dress and pumps as a chance to comment that you saw them, and think they would look really good on her, and you would like to see her dressed and take her out for a nice dinner or movie. Take a chance. Worst thing that can happen is that you will find out exactly why she bought them. Best thing, and you might have a really nice night out.

Barbara

[Deedee Skyblue]

Unless they have been really pushed ( or placed themselves) into a corner, I doubt she would be that vindictave. You can take a higher road here, and be proactive. you say you both don't go out often. Take this noticing of the dress and pumps as a chance to comment that you saw them, and think they would look really good on her, and you would like to see her dressed and take her out for a nice dinner or movie. Take a chance. Worst thing that can happen is that you will find out exactly why she bought them. Best thing, and you might have a really nice night out.

Barbara

We need a 'Like' button. Very nice response!

Deedee :thumbsup:

[ReineD]

BTW, those who are using the word "jealous" in this discussion would do well to look up the definitions of "jealousy" and "envy."

I was reading all the posts before responding, thinking exactly the same thing, when I saw your response.

I would be devastated if my SO was jealous or envious of me. I am never jealous or envious of my SO. She might have items of clothing or jewelry that I really like, but this is admiration, not jealousy.

Jealous: feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages.

Envious: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc. Obsolete: ill will.


My wife bought an outfit she told me was to attract a real man. She would wear it if I dressed again. So maybe your wife has similar thoughts - a cute outfit to wear when she had enough of you to find someone who will find her sexually attractive. Not that you don't in your mind, but she may not feel that way in her mind.

Was your wife serious? This is not the basis for a good relationship. Why are the two of you together, if you feel that your wife is just waiting for someone better to come along before she leaves you?


Her response was that she wears them when she goes out with her female friends. Normally she wears jeans and jumpers when around me. We very very rarely go out as a couple. I often wonder if I am just a cheap babysitter!

Why do the two of you not go out as a couple?

[Stephanie47]

If my wife said that in a dead serious tone, I'd make sure to don my prettiest dress and heels!


My wife bought an outfit she told me was to attract a real man. She would wear it if I dressed again. So maybe your wife has similar thoughts - a cute outfit to wear when she had enough of you to find someone who will find her sexually attractive. Not that you don't in your mind, but she may not feel that way in her mind.

[Kathy4ever]

True I doubt she will buy me anything other than womans christmas pajamos like the last few years. Even though on one side i know there is always this other side that hopes she buys me something. I do have my own stuff and usually don't try anthing of hers on but when I saw the goodwill bag I just had to look and try on.


I dont think she bought them with you in mind at all

She bought the dress and pumps to make herself feel good

If she is unaccepting she is very unlikely to buy you anything

I suggest you wear your own clothes and not hers as this will only make things worse

[Kathy4ever]

My sentiments exactly. I know in away what your wife said must of hurt. I wonder how these wives that act like that would feel if we said something like that "about finding a real woman". We would be hit in the head with a frying pan.

I wish your wife the best of luck in finding a 'Real Man' .... and when she does, and she finds he is a beer swilling thug who most probably has a woman in every bar, she may realise that her husband was actually a damn good guy ... it is so sad to read what your wife said to you ClosetEd :( You deserve better

[Kathy4ever]

Yes I have chosen that feeling but I'm also happy for her that she bought something nice for herself and it was on the cheap. I might not like how she acts about my habit or whatever someone would call it. I still luv her because she is kind, generous, accepting of all people except this thing.
That's an odd assertion. My guess is that I'df your wife buys something it's because she thought it looked good on her...not as some sort of passive aggressive dig at you. If you feel envious...that's a feeling you've chosen.

[Kathy4ever]

The talking will probably be next year. I'm ready to talk about this thing but don't want to ruin the holidays . Why would she say they were for me if they are a present? I just felt like a kid that found presents in closet or basement or wherever a parent would hide them. Deep down I know they were not for me but I only could hope. I do respect her and have my own things but sometimes I don't feel that is mutual.
Hi,

tit for tat, maybe, though i would be sitting down & talk about what you need to do with the half share, you know you compliment each other, or give & take with the lesser on the take, bit,

There must be a common ground to work on not all one or the other, did you mean wont let you. marrage is half each you both bring some thing along so both can benifit .

To me its not about the clothes shoes what ever its about whats really going on, & that may not have been aired brought out in to the open .

You are takeing lincence here, did your S O say the dress & pumps were for you, dont think so, so why try them on theres more going on here, why go behind your S O 's back. lack of trust me thinks,

Time for the talk. get it all out in the open, then work on what will be best for you both, compomise is needed,

...noeleena...

[Kathy4ever]

Many good comments from most of you. Thank you and hope you have a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate.

[ruthie801]

My wife would never buy me anything and always teases me that I shouldn't wear any of her new dresses.

[Lorileah]

:doh:Yeah women are insidious that way, they do things to subtly drive you insane.:facepalm: So what are you thinking will happen. Christmas morning you wake up and she will be standing there "Gee dear, I thought it over, Merry Christmas...and here is a sexy outfit. Now go make dinner"? I would be looking at the other possibility, the one where she is dressing for someone else now.

I can't believe she didn't know your shoe size:idontknow: