Are we maybe sometimes to paranoid

[Paula T]

about people noticing that we maybe look a little different? Or don't people even pay any attention what other folks are wearing? Maybe we notice more because it is on our mind a lot. I tried a little experiment tonight when I went and bought groceries at a local supermarket. It was after nine pm but there were quite a few people shopping I suppose for tomorrow. I wore these shoes and my black skinny girl jeans with embroidery on the pockets while doing this shopping. As far as I could tell I got not one strange look at all. Even from the younger gals. I did wear black stockings with the shoes but they still look to me like what they are "gals loafers" with a wedge heel about 1 1/2 inches high.:)

[sometimes_miss]

I don't know how much people don't notice, as much as they simply don't feel it's appropriate to say anything about it. I mean, how often do strangers comment on your male clothes? It's simple courtesy. They may notice, but have more pressing things to think about.

It's only the rare immature person that feels the need to point out to the world that he sees something that HE thinks is inappropriate, such as the big mouth we all knew during school age years, that felt he had to comment on everything out loud.

[Eryn]

I think that most of us worry too much, but then again that is a defense mechanism that stops us from doing something _really_ off-the-wall. I gender-bend a little bit when in drab by wearing pink and gray athletic shoes, cargo Capris, women's unembellished jeans, clear polish, etc. These items make me feel a bit better about myself and don't draw much interest from the muggles.

[Kimberly Renee]

Yes, and it's a self fulfilling prophecy. (I've learned this in other areas of my life.) When we are worried that others are looking at us we subconsciously act in ways that draw attention, then people look at us with scrutiny because we did something that drew their attention. This is not the same as having an outgoing personality. If you are enjoying yourself and being outgoing you'll draw attention, but not scrutiny unless your obviously CD.

In general people today are more concerned with themselves and what they are doing to pay particular attention to anyone else. Your wearing girl pants and shoes by itself didn't warrant undue attention because you didn't draw attention to them. Now, if they were hot pink, THAT would draw attention (even on a GG).

[Launa]

CDers are the most paranoid breed of humans alive. You're right, for the most part nobody cares what we do and its all in our heads.

I was in a Chapters Bookstore today and had an employee come up to me and ask me if I needed help. He was wearing a Cardigan sweater, tight shirt with a bow tie, skinny jeans, girl style flats, he had a short nape and long, dyed hair on the top of his head. I said, "no I don't need any help."

He then kept asking everybody else the same thing. I watched him jump around the store like a fairy and noticed that nobody looked at him twice.

You're right..... For the most part, its in our heads and fears!!!!!!!!!!

[sandra-leigh]

Are those shoes from Payless? I think I have the same kind. I've never had anyone notice them. The extra heel has been useful to keep jeans from dragging (women's jeans are usually 1" too long for me, unless I buy petite sizes -- and I am 6' tall!)

[noeleena]

Hi,

No matter what i wear ill still be looked at ,its just the way it is for this kid, im used to that & i expect it, i dont worry about being looked at ,

Had i looked more like a female then i dought i get more than a look of she's dressed nicely, note this is about she, not a guy dressed. facial features detrmine why im looked at more, ether i live with it or go hide, i can live with it,

...noeleena...

[donnalee]

CDers are the most paranoid breed of humans alive. You're right, for the most part nobody cares what we do and its all in our heads.

I was in a Chapters Bookstore today and had an employee come up to me and ask me if I needed help. He was wearing a Cardigan sweater, tight shirt with a bow tie, skinny jeans, girl style flats, he had a short nape and long, dyed hair on the top of his head. I said, "no I don't need any help."

He then kept asking everybody else the same thing. I watched him jump around the store like a fairy and noticed that nobody looked at him twice.

You're right..... For the most part, its in our heads and fears!!!!!!!!!!
Are you SURE it was an employee??
I don't know who to attribute this to - maybe someone does? "Sometimes paranoids are right - there IS someone following them."

[Stephanie47]

Just because nobody confronts you does not mean the person does not notice you. Sure, there are going to be instances of morons acting like assholes, but, they are the exception. Most people are just going to observe and file what they have seen in the back of the mind.

However, if you are not out to your relatives, co workers, neighbors, etc, and, they observe you, just maybe their observation will not have the same result as the disinterested observer.

[Beverley Sims]

I am sure people do notice but I only push the androgynous bit a little at a time.
I do wear womens embellished jeans but I don't see who is following anyway.

[Launa]

Are you SURE it was an employee??
I don't know who to attribute this to - maybe someone does? "Sometimes paranoids are right - there IS someone following them."

Yeah I'm SURE this guy was an employee as he had a name tag on and was asking me and other customers if we needed help finding anything. All the customers in the store were wearing heavy coats, mits, boots etc... Its -21 here

This guy wasn't wearing any winter clothes. He looked very polished, very chipper, happy and was doing his job well. It was refreshing to see somebody different than the norm.

Do you ever go into a Chapters bookstore? I love the place.

[STACY B]

Yall Gals Worry to Much ! There no one watching you ,, Hold on I think someone is coming ??
Gotta go ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,>>>>>>>>>>>>> Click----Clack----------Click ---Clack,,, Thats me running AWAY !!!!




194262

[UNDERDRESSER]

Yeah I'm SURE this guy was an employee as he had a name tag on and was asking me and other customers if we needed help finding anything. All the customers in the store were wearing heavy coats, mits, boots etc... Its -21 here

This guy wasn't wearing any winter clothes. He looked very polished, very chipper, happy and was doing his job well. It was refreshing to see somebody different than the norm.

Do you ever go into a Chapters bookstore? I love the place.Yes me too. Haven't been much lately, but was in there a few days ago getting some books for my GF's Christmas present. ( Love a girl who reads! ) I'm thinking I saw someone matching that description. As someone who works retail, I can tell you though, most people in stores right now tend to either highly focused, or have a glazed desperation, neither of which leaves much attention for peoples dress sense!

[I Am Paula]

Thru' a little research on my part I have discovered-
It is almost impossable for a yahoo to throw a beer bottle out of a moving pick up truck, at you. The physics is all wrong, and it wastes a beer, something good ole boys hate more than us.
Even with text and email, it takes over two hours to organize villiagers, get them riled up, and light torches. Evil transvestite is usually home and in closet by then.
When a man buys women's socks, all security cameras do not give up their day jobs and focus on him. Facial recognition software is not immediately deployed to identify, and out, perp.
When you ask for a 48A-cup bra, the SA will not laugh at you, she sells it to you. She will laugh after you're out of earshot. So what... don't you laugh at teenagers with droopy ass jeans, or girls with 'juicy' embroidered on their butts?

When it really comes down to it, twenty something years of going out, in varying degrees, of passability. Women love us, we are essentially invisible to men, teenagers clock us right off (but are totally okay with it), and our parents just shake thier heads.

A final note to those who say their church would be scandalized. Is it not you who is the hypocrite for going to a church that does not accept you?
Merry Christmas-Celeste

[Paula T]

Are those shoes from Payless? I think I have the same kind. I've never had anyone notice them. The extra heel has been useful to keep jeans from dragging (women's jeans are usually 1" too long for me, unless I buy petite sizes -- and I am 6' tall!)
:D






I got these from Kohl's
I waited until they were on sale and they were so comfortable I had to buy them. I have another pair almost exactly the same except that they are brown shiny alligator pattern all around otherwise the very same. Got those from Target.:eek:On sale of course :D

[Danielle_cder]

I would venture to say yes. I think we as a group are hyperconcious about others and how the look, dress and act. That being said when we go out dressed we expect others to be studying us* as attentively. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves/ what they are doing that they don't even notice. Honestly if u dress for attention, ur gonna get it. Dress to blend, guess what you'll probably blend..

[donnalee]

Yeah I'm SURE this guy was an employee as he had a name tag on and was asking me and other customers if we needed help finding anything. All the customers in the store were wearing heavy coats, mits, boots etc... Its -21 here

This guy wasn't wearing any winter clothes. He looked very polished, very chipper, happy and was doing his job well. It was refreshing to see somebody different than the norm.

Do you ever go into a Chapters bookstore? I love the place.I don't live in the same part of the continent as you (well off the edge of sanity {you HAVE heard of the sanity clause, haven't you?}), so no Chambers around here except for Marilyn. There are plenty of ideosyncratic small bookstores around here that have survived the chain stores and the internet (so far, at least) and would be missed greatly if they were gonegone.

[bcpmax]

I'm sure people notice, but atleast in my experiences, few as they are, people's reactions aren't overt, I've seen a couple people sneak a second look but that's all I've noticed. That is unless their kids, I've noticed smaller kids will outright stare.

[Rhonda Ann]

I'm sure your right, I am too paranoid. And funny this being the first thread I saw tonight. I just got home from out driving around looking at Christmas lights, as I pulled in my drive a man walked out of the house next door. I freaked out, I thought I would just wait it out until he got in his truck and drove away. I didn't know the guy was going to sit and wait for Santa (which isn't far off but........), he let his truck warm up forever. I finally gave up and walked in the house. I think my biggest fear was I had some items I bought at Walmart earlier and I was afraid I would fumble with the keys too long trying to get in the house. Yeah, I'm too paranoid.

[Tracii G]

Girls jeans everyday for me, whats on the back pocket makes no difference to me if they fit nice I will wear them.
Girls tennis shoes or boots,loafers,flats,sandals everyday too.
Nobody really says much of anything and I have had a few girls pay me compliments on my attire.
I don't worry what people say anyway about the way I dress.

[crazybiker]

I don't think too many people notice now. I use to wear flats all the time that were kinda girly looking, and nobody noticed them, and then I wear flats around my gf's brother and even out to the malls and nobody noticed. The only ones that seem to notice and say anything out loud too much is the little kids, cause they are short, spend time looking at the ground, and know the difference between girls and boys shoes.

[carhill2mn]

For most of "us", it takes time and experience to become more comfortable and less paranoid about being in public when wearing feminine clothes. I also think that very few people in a grocery store pay much attention to how the other shoppers are dressed (an exception may be a bored husband). I have often suggested to girls wondering where they could safely go when en femme that the grocery store is a good choice.

[Rachel Morley]

I don't know how much people don't notice, as much as they simply don't feel it's appropriate to say anything about it. I mean, how often do strangers comment on your male clothes? It's simple courtesy. They may notice, but have more pressing things to think about.

This is what I think too. Some don't notice, but some do .... but they rarely say anything.

[ArleneRaquel]

When I first moved to my new digs, about 2 1/2 years ago, I was paranoid when I first my very homophobic neighbor make many ugly comments to regard to my lifestyle. Since them he has become decent, at least in my prescence, so any tension that I had has gone. Btw I went grocery shopping today and all went well, I was enfemme of course.

[BillieAnneJean]

I was just out today on the main street in downtown Grand Rapids. No one paid any attention to me. If they had said anything, they ran the risk of having a very upset woman cry out in despair. Or a crossdressing man cower in theer overpowering and omnipotent presence (at least in teir mind). The difference between them is entirely their risk and their choice. The reaction choice is mine. Practice your girl voice LOUDLY.

Also I limit my risk by wisely choosing the time and place plus trying my best to look like what I am expected to look like.

It is still fun enough to make the risk worth it.