just purged

[marion]

Hi girls. I have just binned all my nice clothes including lots of nice underwear. Was a ticking timb bomb waiting for my stash to be found and think I could not live with the consequences. The biggest miss is going to be wearing heels - absolutely loved wearing them. I am going to just have to dream of being a woman from now on. x

[Staci K]

In the words of Ahnold, "I'll be bach"

[MonctonGirl]

We've all been through it many times.

[suzy1]

There must be a powerful reason[s] for doing this Marion and I feel sorry for you having to do this.
Yes, some of us will make light of it saying you will be back again but I worry that you will suffer from doing this.
I hope your situation will change as soon as possible and you will be free to be the real you again.

All the best,

Suzy

[marion]

Thanks Suzy. Yes there are other reasons. I get so frustrated as get very few opportunities to be me so I think is it worth the hassle!! My thoughts and feelings are as strong as ever. just wish I could be Marion all day every day. life is such a bitch. x

[suzy1]

As a girl with a few miles on the clock I can tell you now, you never know what’s just around the corner.

As Nicole said, you will be back when your situation permits it.

hugs:)

[Stephanie47]

I read in a previous thread that you are married, and, your wife does not know. It also seemed from your thread that you may be preoccupied with cross dressing to the extent it may be consuming too much of your thoughts. Everything in life should be done with moderation. You may be able to suppress your urges for a period of time. Sooner or later you'll be tempted to resume dressing. When you do revisit cross dressing do not approach it as a compulsion.

[Jana]

Sorry, Marion. It happens, most of us have been through it. It can be kinda hard managing all those emotions, huh?

[janet54]

Marion. Girl I have done what you have and the feelings do not go away I tried everything I could to stop this. But no. I wish you all the luck in the world. Janet

[Kathy4ever]

I feel for you. I think with less opportunity leads to this thing of thinking about it all the time. Your purse is going to regret purging when you start to buy new things again at some future dat. I think most go through this process over and over agai. Many are lucky and someone who supports them. I wish you luck .

[Cheryl T]

Too bad you're in the UK... I'd ask where that bin was and what sizes you had....

See you soon....

[Kaz]

Hi Marion, I just want to echo Suzy's comments (well, and everyone else's). Like Suzy, I have a few 'miles on the clock' too and have been in a similar situation to yourself. Circumstances can change over time, and you will get other opportunities. And believe me this is never going to go away! You will regret purging, but sometimes that is what we have to do for plain practical reasons. Nowadays and for me, the kids are grown up, my wife knows, but whilst she finds it weird and will have no part of it, at least I can keep my 'stash' and she doesn't pry. I even get space to CD.

But I must say that I am now able to feel like Kaz 24/7 whatever I am wearing. And that is a good place to get to!

Tale care

[marion]

Thanks girls lots of constructive and helpful comments. I will defo return to dressing as I know the urge will never go away. Perhaps in the future things may change and i can be and feel like a woman more often. Problem I have is I am very sensitive to what people think of me and not thick skinned at all so if i was found out any fall out would hurt me so much. Wish I was as brave as a lot of girls on here. Only immediate solution and hope would be to pretend away for work and meet up with friendly sole for full dressing and girly things with no fear x

[linda allen]

:strugglin
Hi girls. I have just binned all my nice clothes .....

Binned? :strugglin

[SandraInHose]

As others have said, many of us have been through this, and almost all of us who have purged come back even stronger! I look back on some of the items I purged and would give anything to have them back!

I had a pair of black leather 4" pumps that were soooooo comfortable I could actually run in them...haven't been able to find such a comfortable pair since! :sad:

[marion]

:strugglin

Binned? :strugglin

Binned means thrown out or put in the trash for American friends

[STACY B]

Where did ya put them at ? I want to go threw an see what I can find for myself . Thanx !!!!

[linda allen]

Binned means thrown out or put in the trash for American friends

Thanks for the explanation. I would rather see folks donate their unwanted clothing to charity than throw them in the trash. No matter how bad off we think we are, there are people out there who can wear our unwanted clothing. In some cases, clothing allows them to get a job and become self sufficient.

[Tracii G]

It happens only you know whats best for you.

[JanM38]

All that I would want to say to you, Marion, has been well expressed already, so I post just to let you know there is another who shares your frustration, and offers you a virtual smile and hug in commiseration.

[linda allen]

Hi girls. I have just binned all my nice clothes including lots of nice underwear. Was a ticking timb bomb waiting for my stash to be found and think I could not live with the consequences. The biggest miss is going to be wearing heels - absolutely loved wearing them. I am going to just have to dream of being a woman from now on. x

Marion, I don't know your history or why you decided to "purge", but if you really want or need to stop crossdressing, you've got to stop thinking about it and stop participating in or even reading crossdressing forums.

Find something else to take up your time and involve yourself in it. Best of Luck.

[Melissa73]

idk, having come off of an purge most recently... i recommend you NOT!!! to do this..... store it away for now.....as others recommended, as strong as you are determined to pur=ge now, it'll come back and ur regret it

meliissa

[lonster]

Marion

My deepest sympathies to you. You are making a choice between two consequences, some call this "between a rock and a hard place". I found myself between these two rocks, I did not even have a need to purge...I just simply dressed up in my wifes nice things when she wasn't around. Then came the day that I forgot to put her dress and panties away. I left them lying on the bed. When she asked me why they were there, I could'nt lie, (nor could I even think up a good one). I told her the truth...and she left. I just described my last Christmas to you. She left me on December 27th 2011, but not before telling everyone that she and I knew about my crossdressing...including our grown children.

So, I understand your desire to purge to avoid such consequences as I have just described. But I also know that trying to live without crossdressing was a consequence all of it's own, and it was impossible for me to resist it. I just kept it so well hidden because I didn't have my own wardrobe, I could wear both my wife's, and my stepdaughter's clothing. Especially the skirts and dresses, they were an easy fit for me.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor...maybe it will work for you. If it doesn't, you are obviously among people who understand here.

[Beverley Sims]

Even if you dig a hole in the back yard and bury them with mothballs, you get a second chance at it.
Arrgh! I think you have got the message about purging now.
I suppose being found out was a bigger fear.

[Janelle_C]

I hate that F word fear. It kept me in guilt and shame for 30 years, and yes I purged a few times along the way. I used to think that I would rather die and I really do mean die if someone fond out. I fond this site one year ago Dec 25, and the next month I fond a therapist and I cried when I talked to her on the phone for the first time. It was the first time I had told someone other than my wife and I was very scared. A year later and I'm thinking on how to tell my adult kids and friends, I don't like living in fear. And if I was to get caught now they would just have to deal with it and so would I. I wish I had fond someone to talk to 30 years ago. Don't wait 30 years to love this side of who you are.
Hugs Janelle

[Danielle_cder]

Ohhh nooooo! I've been there too, found that that sh*t is way to expensive to keep doing so, I don't do it any more. Oh man/woman some of the things I chucked I want them back so bad...

[abbyleigh001]

Purged to where... I've been there and it is expensive... RENT A STORAGE LOCKER...

[kimdl93]

Use this time to figure out how to eliminate the consequences. CDing requires proactive risk management.

[marion]

Marion, I don't know your history or why you decided to "purge", but if you really want or need to stop crossdressing, you've got to stop thinking about it and stop participating in or even reading crossdressing forums.

Find something else to take up your time and involve yourself in it. Best of Luck.

Sorry Linda but i find your comments quite condesending. I never said i wanted to stop or need to dress at all. It is extremely difficult to do so. Also it would be devastating for some loved ones if all came out. Not every one are as lucky as some people who have the opportunity to be whom they wish to be.

[LaraPeterson]

Dear Marion, over the course of years, I did that very thing time and again. I'm one that finally gave into myself, secrets and all. I live life the best I can and hope my lifestyle never hurts those who don't know--and I don't want to know. Whether or not you ever come back to this, just try to be the best you can for yourself first, and then for your family. My thoughts are with you as you find your own way. Cheers to you and yours.

[marion]

Thanks Lara. I know it will never leave me and that i will return to dresssing sooner rather than later. just hope to be stronger next time x

[danielletorresani]

I read in a previous thread that you are married, and, your wife does not know. It also seemed from your thread that you may be preoccupied with cross dressing to the extent it may be consuming too much of your thoughts. Everything in life should be done with moderation. You may be able to suppress your urges for a period of time. Sooner or later you'll be tempted to resume dressing. When you do revisit cross dressing do not approach it as a compulsion.

Excellent advice. I had to give up dressing for a while because it was way too all-consuming. These days it's more on the level of a hobby instead of an obsession. Even good things taken to extremes can become negative.

[Adrienna]

At this particular time in your life decisions of various things must be considered very carefully. Emotions will run high and knee-jerk reactions do happen. But a comeback is usually in the cards especially for us because we are what we are. As it was mentioned here, moderation is the key. Be smart with yourself, consider all the elements involved with CD'ing and make good solid coherant decisions. Most of us here have experienced what you are experiencing right now and believe me, it's tuff!!! I have purged several times and recently went thru a major one only to discover that it is a true part of what and who I am and finally came to grips with it with gladness. You will too. Just try to be kind with yourself and more important be true to yourself. Good luck and best wishes to you!

[linda allen]

Sorry Linda but i find your comments quite condesending. ...............

Oh well. I'm just trying to help. If you don't like my advice, just ignore it.

[Rebecca W.]

Thanks Lara. I know it will never leave me and that i will return to dressing sooner rather than later. just hope to be stronger next time x

Dear Marion,
I have purged so many times over the years and the feeling afterwards is guilt and remorse in doing so. Sometimes, I have the urge to dress and when the urge fades away, the desire to purge is in my thoughts. Purging is supposed to free me from the shame that I feel sometimes when I am dressing up nicely as a woman. It does not free you from it, it just lies dormant until the strong desires lead you into the cross dressing realm again. I would have more than enough panties to circle to globe if I had kept them all.

Give her some room to grow ever so slowly and buy something on occasion to satisfy her needs. If I just go out and purchase numerous items, it tends to lead me into the guilt stage of wanting to purge. Buy her a nice pair of pantyhose and a pretty pair of panties just to keep your feminine side happy.

Please keep something feminine around, trust me you never know when she will need something to wear. I have been there so many times!


Hugs,

[Danni]

I've purged so many times because of guilt and regret it. After all these years I'm coming to accept who I am. And besides, I've never been able to find anouther wig that flatteres me so well

Danni

[becky77]

Hi Marion. Most of us have purged and as much as we remember the need to dress, we forget the need to purge. It's part of the cycle, I will never purge again as I have learned it isn't healthy for me. But when in those times I did purge it was the right thing to do at that time for my mental state.
To make it easier just think that fashion moves on and when/if the time comes when you are wanting or able to buy things again you will want a new outfit anyway ;)
Good luck.

[Annette Anderson]

I wish i had the "magic" cure for this.My purges were even more than tossing the clothes.I even deleted all my online accounts and then wiped my computer of anything even remotely related to cding.Vowing to never dress again.I even felt guilty about tossing the clothes in the trash,so i would put them in the Goodwill or Salvation army box thinking that someone else could use them.Now it would not surprise me if another cd bought my clothes when they made it to the store.But i have accepted that too, the purges and the mental struggles helped me come to this point of acceptance.

[marion]

Starting to regret my purge already. wife is out so I have just shaved my legs and sitting here now with a nice tuck - feeling a little better x PS also tried some make up.