So CD'rs, do you like being in boy mode and expressing masculinity?

[Andrea J]

I don't suppose there's much doubt that CD'rs like girl mode. But I was also wondering to what extent CD'rs like boy mode too.

So, do you like boy mode? Do you like expressing masculinity. How much? Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode? After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people? Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood?

I think it would be very interesting to know how people feel about this.

Looking forward to your answers.

P.S. I also assume that MTF TS's nearly always dislike boy mode so this question is directed at CD'rs. TS replies are welcome but it would be great if you would say you're TS so as not to confuse the thread.

[JanM38]

I am totally into both halves of my personality. I have been very successful in an almost exclusively male profession for almost 40 years and have loved it. But I love the feminine side of me equally.

[joandher]

For the last 60 yrs i have drifted from one mode to the outher and loved every moment.
Those that havnt dont know what they are missing ,i feel very privalaged to have been born this way

[adraine]

wow , you know , i don't know . I have or did have a very masculine job ,a flooring contractor , which i still do but now manage a 200 unit apartment complex , i really enjoy being a guy (i'm a crossdresser ,i think but really do enjoy dressing up and have gone further than most I think ) I'm a mess really while i enjoy my muscles (I'm pretty well built but i don't lift weights it's the job ) i've have had my cheeks enhanced several times , and I'm a big big fan of botox and even had my beard ,neck and chest hair removed and and thinking about breast augmention ,but i still consider myself a guy , heavens who knows , I realize if i have bigger breasts added it will detract ,maybe , from my male self but i find myself going in that direction anyway , ie , going towards a more femine appearance , every one at work knows about my gurl side and they all have standing invitations to my Drag shows ,I"m straight ;married 23 years ,I know go figure ,right , I'm such a Queen , well living one day at a time best regards Adraine

[StephanieJ]

I rarely enjoy being a male. Probably the only time is when I take off the wig at the end of the night and think how lucky I am not to have to sleep in that tangle of long hair. Other than that I am usually wishing to be Stephanie more often than not.

[danielleCD88]

I love both sides. Im an avid athlete and i would be devastated if i lost that side of me. With that being said, i adore my femme side. I love acting as feminine as possible a couple hours of the week. It is a perfect balance to my "regular" life. Much like i do daily, in a perfect world i would spend the day playing basketball or golfing. Then wear a satin skirt/dress to bed. I only completely dress once or twice a month. I would like for once a week but im content what it now. Im quite pleased with both aspects. I try not to disrespect cds when out and i try to dress appropriately.anyways this is my first post and i look forward to meeting everyone :)

[Jamie001]

What is masculinity? I am simply a feminine male all of the time. I do not switch between modes as I only have one mode.

[Raychel]

Defnitley dislike Boy Mode. I only switch back for others. If I had my way and lived my preference, I would probably never dress in guy mode again.

[Sister Rachel]

Just live in "me" mode these days! Masculine me likes football ( "soccer" to my American girlfriends ) and cars, not a macho "petrolhead" but I like a big car and I like driving fast, and, if I say so myself, I'm good :o. I'm a bit past "boy" mode anyway, being a Grandfather and all, Man Mode would be more accurate! I haven't dressed for months before tonight, but I'm loving giving my short multi-layered black skirt an outing, and it's so pleasurable to have broken out a new pair of tights :) It might have been seeing a pretty girl at work today wearing sparkly red "Dorothy" heels that's triggered this little resurgence :heehee:

I logged on just to wish all my sisters here a happy Christmas, but this thread caught my attention!

Happy Christmas :)

[Andrea J]

Hi all, thanks for your answers


I have been very successful in an almost exclusively male profession for almost 40 years and have loved it.


I have or did have a very masculine job ,a flooring contractor

Well, I think there is a difference between being happy doing something that 'happens' to be masculine and being happy 'because' you're doing something masculine. i.e. Enjoying the feeling that you're expressing you're masculinity. I mean you can be happy and have a good career in a male dominated industry but be indifferent to the masculinity.

So do you think you are involved with these things because they are masculine? Or are they things that just happen to be masculine?


I love both sides. Im an avid athlete and i would be devastated if i lost that side of me. With that being said, i adore my femme side. I love acting as feminine as possible a couple hours of the week. It is a perfect balance to my "regular" life. Much like i do daily, in a perfect world i would spend the day playing basketball or golfing. Then wear a satin skirt/dress to bed. I only completely dress once or twice a month. I would like for once a week but im content what it now. Im quite pleased with both aspects. I try not to disrespect cds when out and i try to dress appropriately.anyways this is my first post and i look forward to meeting everyone :)

Hi Danielle, thanks for your reply and welcome to the forum. (And remember there are great female athletes too!)

[Debglam]

I've hit a point in my life where I am comfortable where I am. Sometimes male and sometimes female. In an ideal world I would be 75% female and 25% male. Looking back, I would have transitioned but that wasn't the way my path has taken me. You can't spend your life looking back and saying "what if" though.

Debby

[danielleCD88]

Hi Danielle, thanks for your reply and welcome to the forum. (And remember there are great female athletes too!)[/QUOTE]

Oh yes most definitely. I have most in common with the feminine ones ;)

[AllieSF]

I am happy both ways and like my self both ways. If I was in other circumstances and knowing what I know after all those years, I would probably do more daily things in female mode. I actually can't get to boy mode anymore because I am way too old for that, but it would be fun to go back into a young boy mode too and then switch to a young girl mode. I have to go from woman to man.

[LaraPeterson]

Tolerate the male, yearn for the female; try to do a good job in both.

[Kaz]

Hi Andrea,

I don't see this in terms of 'modes' - I would be intrigued to know how you classify them. I am me. Part of me wants to present as female, but I don't tink I have switch that turns me into two different people. So if what you mean my 'modes,' is dressing, again I am across the spectrum. Tonight I am dressed in a floppy sweater, black tights under some Levi 611 jeans and am wearing my heels... I will go to bed around 1am and probably wear nothing in bed... it is a reasonable warm night compared to recent weeks.

Do I feel different... no... but then I am not in the 'pink fog'. That is a different animal!

There are some things I choose to do in male dress - go to work, mix with the family, etc... but enjoy every opportunity to dress as Kaz, and the best times are when I get to do the full make-up, hair, etc.. I always hate moving from this mode to dressed as a male mode. (It is deeply painful, which may partly address your question). But once back and in action it all works fine.

Your question seems to assume a polarity, or binary view of CDing.. this has not been my experience at all.

[Julie Denier]

I really enjoy being a guy, and that's 99% of my life. As much as I enjoy dressing en femme, I also love looking sharp in male mode. Like today for church, I enjoyed looking sharp in my green 3- button suit, white French-cuff shirt, red tie and pocket square, and black Cole-Haan lace-ups. Of course, I also enjoyed checking out what the ladies in church were wearing and how it might look good on me ;)

[Deedee Skyblue]

I like being male. I like competing with other males in things like volleyball, wrestling, and other sports I played. I enjoy the traditional male pursuit of women. I really dressing too, but I would not want to be female full time.

Deedee

[Rogina B]

I'm TS...I have punched out my boy fun tickets...I pretend at work[self employed marine engineer] enough to fool most.I cope by being gender fluid.

[Crissy Kay]

Yeah, I got no problem with that.

[JanM38]

"So do you think you are involved with these things because they are masculine? Or are they things that just happen to be masculine?"

As a good part of the last 36 years has been as a an infantryman (airborne, ranger, and heavy, as well) I would have to say masculinity was an integral part of the profession!

[PretzelGirl]

It isn't that I like being in male clothes because I only find them functional. But I do enjoy doing some of my male things. Hanging out with friends and family. Playing with grandkids. Outside of those and work, I am usually defaulting to feminine unless there is a reason not to like things getting out of balance, going with someone that doesn't know, or just plain inappropriate time.

[AllyCDTV]

I most definitely prefer male mode. I treat dressing up to be a fun little vacation for me. It's a visit to fantasy land. I can enjoy it for a few hours every week but when the time is up, I'm eager to get the inserts out, makeup, jewelry and boots off and change back to male blue jeans, running shoes and a sweat shirt.

[Eryn]

I can't say that I particularly like it. It's stressful knowing my place is to deal with any problem that comes along and that I will be judged by my ability or inability to handle it. I'm also uncomfortable with the societal requirement to be aggressive and competitive.

Still, that's the hand I've been dealt and I live with it. It is no better or worse than the problems faced by those on the other side of the gender divide.

[Samantha W]

I love my male self. Eric and Sam need each other.

Sam loves to sit by a bon fire, but hates to get dirty gathering the wood and tending it. Sam is a great coupon clipper and bargan hunter. Eric does'nt even want to know the grand total.

I used to hate God for forcing this thing on me that no other man seemed to have or deal with. Now I figure that I am 100% man and 50% woman.

I guess I am greedy I dont want to give up any part of me,

Does that make sence?

[MonctonGirl]

Girl mode is soooo much work.
I asked the girl who did my makeup "So how long does it take you to do your makeup and hair every day before work?"
She says "About an hour ... but also need to shave legs and do a bunch of other things before that."

I can't get it together to shave my face every week let alone all that.


I love my male self. Eric and Sam need each other.

Sam loves to sit by a bon fire, but hates to get dirty gathering the wood and tending it. Sam is a great coupon clipper and bargan hunter. Eric does'nt even want to know the grand total.

I used to hate God for forcing this thing on me that no other man seemed to have or deal with. Now I figure that I am 100% man and 50% woman.

I guess I am greedy I dont want to give up any part of me,

Does that make sence?

I was also resentful. It was a major complication.

[Beverley Sims]

I try to be fluid in my comments and I may be out going but not agressive enough to assert my masculinity.

[AnneB1nderful]

My choice would be Anne 24/7. I've always felt out of place as a man. But, I made it work. I prefer girlfriends over guy friends. I prefer talking about feelings than working on cars. But, I became good at working on cars (mostly out of necessity - couldn't afford mechanic). I love playing and watching sports but not with a bunch of sweaty nasty men.

All that said, I've tried to suppress my femininity most of the time for the past 40+ years. Now that I've fully embraced my femininity, I want to be a woman all the time. I don't enjoy man mode. Never have. Just acted the part because that's what was expected. But, because I still have responsibilities and expectations of being a father, grandfather, son and brother I have to do things I don't enjoy. That's the reality of being a mature adult regardless of gender persona.

[noeleena]

Hi,

My issue was i was percived as a boy, did not mean i was or i thought as one, though i dont discount my maleness what little there was / is, not being a dresser or trans does put myself in the being... different....

there are two parts to this the physical to look like a boy & be able to do things as one, yet not intirely in every way.
And the Psychological & Emotional or how im wired very much as female from birth. they do overlap .

i did not relate with or to males did not think as one , fact was very little .

Now because im intersex it does change the dynamics a lot, some physical differences & hormones plus my thinking in so many ways,

Now i know many dresser's & trans have issues with in the begining of looking like & acting or trying to be like a woman. just to be different i did not try or need to. i did not need to unlearn the being a boy or male, some may say rubbish , you have to learn how to be a female & unlearn being a male.

Being intersex i did not need to unlearn because i was not a full male i did not act male i wont say i acted as a full female ether , it was a mix of both. till the time came that allowed my full potential as a woman .

I had to grow & become a woman my part as a female was there from birth, plus my male side ,

Where i have problems is i never had a male mode & i dont know what a real male is i struggled with this most of my life, i knew i was not like males & did not like being around them yet i knew i had to that was hard. i got there & do have some lovely male friends im pleased i was able to overcome my fear / hate of men. i wont say im not still wary or 100 % at ease around men of cause that all stems from 65 years ago.

Now those of you who are male understand what being a male is about, its a blank i dont,

as a kid i was not forced in to being a boy or girl or what i could do Mom just let me develop into a person who was different, as far as it goes being a female / woman is who i am.

...noeleena...

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am ok with being a guy most of the time. It is funny, I never really thought of my male life as really "masculine", typically male for the most part perhaps but I never thought of it as "masculine" per se.

[kimdl93]

Not particularly. I go into male mode in dress only. I hope at least that I'm the same person regardless of how I dress.

[ArleneRaquel]

No, never,if I could I would never wear male attire again.

[Nanaya]

I'm always in boy mode, even when dressed, so I guess that's a yes? Though I dress like a girl, I never saw myself as one.

[Allisa]

Well Andrea being in a masculine profession I need to be my male self most of the time and I enjoy the freedom of being a male (thats a whole can of worms I dont wish to open at this time).My time as Lisa is enjoyable but I cant help being the man I am,I encorporate my femme in my personality every day of my life,maybe as an older CDer the clothes are a lesser necessity than they were some time ago.I hope this stayed on point with your question but I drift alot in my thoughts being the dinosaur that I am.

(Al)Lisa

[~Joanne~]

do you like boy mode?

Yes, just as much as I like girl mode but I don't like to look at it as "modes". Either way I chose to dress, I just consider it me.

Do you like expressing masculinity. How much?

Yes, but since accepting this side of me, or at least starting to come to terms with it, I have found that I leave a lot of the macho BS out of it. I feel that I have become a more considerate person and I love it.

Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode?

I can't really answer this because I do have a SO to consider but she has never once told me that I couldn't dress as I please whenever I want too. She did mention I should take my nail polish off my toes today though because my nephew like pulling socks off peoples feet and it might not be a great idea to have my nails done if it should happen lol I think the kid may have a foot fetish and is starting at an early age lol

Over all though, I spend quite a bit of time dressed equally. I always have something femme on even while in male attire. Now if he starts pulling down pants, then the world is being exposed to my satin panties :)


After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people?

I think a little of both. If someone comes knocking then I do a quick change back to clark kent. While out to the SO, I don't want to come out to the whole world anytime soon. Am I drawn back to boy mode? No, because it never fully leaves to begin with.

Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood?

Mood plays a large roll in how long I stay dressed in a pretty skirt or if I even bother to get dressed in something pretty in the first place. Some days I am in the mood to be wearing my heels all day and some days I don't :)

[litangel]

This is an interesting thread, although, what is masculine/feminine anyway?
I appreciate aspects of what you might call the masculine side of myself. I am great at math, and I am an excellent leader, and I have a great intellect. I like dancing very flirty and femme, but I also enjoy a little slam dancing, and at one particularly free group, I will growl and howl as I dance (often while wearing a dress!).
As to which mode I enjoy more, I enjoy more in female mode, but I need the organization and proactivity from my male mode to make times when I am free to feel femme and be in the moment.
To respond to one of Joanie's questions -
Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode? I think right now, girl mode 50%, boy mode 25%, and androgynous mode 25%. However I just came out, and I think over time those numbers may balance more, the modes may become less distinct.

[SherylB]

I'm happy both ways. I love being a guy. My girlfriend loves it even more ;) . The urge to go en femme comes in waves to me. Still early days. No clue what'll happen later in the future

[Rachel Morley]

Do I like boy mode? ... I guess .... but I much prefer girl mode. Don't get me wrong, I'm comfortable in either mode but my boy mode has to be at least a little bit girly otherwise I just don't feel right.

Do I like expressing masculinity? ... no I don't. I hate doing anything that I consider "masculine". If I have to do something that might be considered masculine (some manly task or chore or whatever) I tell myself it's ok to do it as women also sometimes have do things like this too (if they have to).

If I only had myself to please, how much time do I think that I would spend in boy mode and girl mode? .... I expect it would be 75% girl mode 25% boy mode (outside of work that is).

After a while in girl mode am I drawn back to boy mode or do I change back just because of other people? ... 99% of the time I change back because of other people. Very occasionally I have been wearing unusually tight underwear and I want to get out of that, but that's because of the underwear only not the girl mode.

Do I actually love being in either mode depending on my mood? ... I never "love" being in boy mode, but I always love being in girl mode.

[Angela Campbell]

Do I like boy mode? No. I think I am TS and do not ever feel good when presenting as a male. Then again even if I am dressed as a male in looks I do not feel very male, and feel like I am an imposter. I always have something female on all the time anyway, whether it is panties, womens jeans, a necklace or bracelet...there is always something. I never dress totally as a male anymore. It makes me feel bad when I do.

Do I like expressing masculinity? ... No, I had to learn how to survive but it is not natural for me. I do it to please others. I have been doing this less and less lately and it is worrisome to me because it is getting harder to hide what I really am from the world and it kind of makes me seem weird to others.

If I only had myself to please, how much time do I think that I would spend in boy mode and girl mode? I dress and portray as a man to please my family and to keep a job. If it wasn't for my family I would likely live as a woman all the time and would likely have done the hormones and surgery a long time ago. I dress as a man only when I have to.

[Jenniferathome]

Boy mode is the majority of my life. I love being a man and doing very physical things. I love to push myself physically and from a risk standpoint. On occasion, I like going into girl mode and doing girl things. I let girl time run its course and that is from as little as a few hours to a few days. Jennifer requires a lot of effort to make presentable so I have tobe motivated to start. Once in Jenn mode, I'm comfortable until the beard starts up and then the whole process has to be restarted. That's real effort. Guy mode is easy and I prefer it.

[larisaia]

Do you like boy mode?
I accept it. I like girl mode a lot more though.


Do you like expressing masculinity? How much?
No, not at all. When I do present as male (most of the time, alas), I try to go for androgynous / blatantly queer. I find it helps, if I perform sexuality*, as I'm at least being true to a bit of myself in how I'm presenting.
*Sexuality as performance : the idea that one can 'perform' - i.e. show themselves to be, or present themselves in a way that suggests, a certain role or sexuality. This is usually through the use of mild stereotype.


Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode?
I think it would depend. At this moment in time, if I had only myself to please, and only myself to worry about, I would spend probably all my time in girl mode. In a couple of months, we'll see. I can't imagine it changing any time soon, but stranger things have happened.
But to answer the question as asked - if I only had myself to please, I would probably spend the 85% in boy mode that I do. Almost entirely because I'm at uni, being professional, that sorta thing. And whilst some people are quite open-minded / liberal, a lot of people at my Uni aren't.
(To clarify, the 15% at the moment is pretty much all the time I spend at home)


After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people?
I change back because of other people / circumstance. Although I have yet to spend much time (more than ~ 1 day) in girl mode, I didn't find myself being in any way drawn back to boy mode.


Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood?
I love being in girl mode. I feel quite a pointed nothing at being in boy mode - it is (at least at present) a thing that happens to me.

[AmandaM]

So, do you like boy mode? Not really. I think I'm more uncomfortable in boy mode.
Do you like expressing masculinity. How much? No, somehow, I just don't do it well. I'm not quite masculine enough. A lot of gays think I'm one of them because some unmasculine traits leak out.
Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode? If I lived alone, probably dress every night, and on weekends. Definitely sleep in women's clothes every night. And I'd probably go out. Find some friendly clubs and other CDers.
After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people? Sometimes I change back cause I get bored with it. But I always have to change back because of people in my life.
Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood? No, I don't really like, care for, or think about "being a guy". I just happen to be a guy when not dressed. But when I get a chance to get dressed to the nines, I'm in high heaven.

[Slipstream]

For every hour I spend as a guy, it makes me enjoy the time as a girl that much more.

[Eryn]

Girl mode is soooo much work.
I asked the girl who did my makeup "So how long does it take you to do your makeup and hair every day before work?"
She says "About an hour ... but also need to shave legs and do a bunch of other things before that."

I can't get it together to shave my face every week let alone all that.

To be fair, most GGs don't put that much effort into hair and makeup every day. A brush of the hair and a quick applications of lipstick and they're ready to go. CDers need a really close shave and good foundation application just to get to the point where most GGs roll out of bed in the morning.

[BillieAnneJean]

Exactly ---- The time spent in guy mode definately makes the time enfemme all the more exciting. My SO is in GG mode all the time and she is not excited by it. If I went 24/7 would I get tired of it or acclimated eventually. Probably.

Besides being a guy and dressing is like a guy's life with motorcycles, cars, planes, boats, tools, ruting and scratching, whatever. THEN totally transforming like a larve in to a butterfly and my spirits soar!

I LOVE THIS!

On Thursday I am going enfemme to the center of town for lunch and shopping. My stomach does a flip each time I think about it. It has been eight days since the last time. Too long.

So yes I love being a guy all the time except for when I transform myself and then I love being a woman.

[Michaella]

I don't particularly enjoy being male. It's comfortable in the sense that I am used to it, but I have never felt like I fit any typical male personalities, and I do not enjoy all male company. I certainly do not express "masculinity" in a way that anyone would expect, I think. An example: a few years ago I was asked about the SuperBowl game, and I had not watched it, haven't been interested in spectator sports (except for F1 racing) since high school, and I had in fact spent that evening listening to Scottish poetry sung to the accompaniment of a harpsichord. Now I don't think any of those behaviours are inherently masculine or feminine, but society seems to have labelled them as such, and I'm not in line with the labelling.

Michaella

[danielleinbr]

I dislike being in male mode, but it is a necessary action for practical reasons such as work. When I am in guy mode nobody would guess otherwise, a lifelong skill developed from self preservation, lol. I grew up in a very conservative home, and a very conservative(Southern Baptist) neighborhood. I love being and expressing my true fem self, it is who I feel inside.
Danielle

[ArleneRaquel]

I dislike being in male mode, but it is a necessary action for practical reasons such as work. When I am in guy mode nobody would guess otherwise, a lifelong skill developed from self preservation, lol. I grew up in a very conservative home, and a very conservative(Southern Baptist) neighborhood. I love being and expressing my true fem self, it is who I feel inside.
Danielle

Lovely post darlin and thank you for being as frank in requard to your situation.

[Nanaya]

I think a big problem is that many people have preconceived concepts of masculinity and femininity. I don't think boys should act like "typical men", and in the same vein I don't think girls should act like "typical women". I'm a sensitive, thoughtful person who knows how to read into people and understand others. I'm also a shy, and some would say cute person. But I think I'm still as male as any other man can get.

[Krististeph]

The only reason i like 'boy mode' is that it lets me get things done with a minimum of complications.

if I could 'go girl' all the time I would.

this does not mean i would not regularly pull on a pair of what i refer to as my (boy mode) 'crappy pants' and go out to do yard work, car maintenance, other hard dirty work, but i would be doing it in Gloria Vanderbilt 'crappy jeans' instead of Wal-Mart's mens jeans...

The perfect scenario would be teaching some of the trades to classes of women, a testosterone free environment would be better for learning, IMHO. I've met enough female engineers through the years- they can do quite well without sacrificing feminity, but it helps to have the support from co-workers and the company....

[danielletorresani]

I absolutely LOVE crossdressing, but I also love my male side. If I had to choose, I'd actually choose my male side, but the good thing is, at least for now, I don't have to choose!

[Mollyanne]

Are you kidding me!!!!! I'm a cd'er and L O V E being in girl mode (ALL THE TIME IF I COULD) I have to be in boy mode(ugh ugh ugh) for work and for the family but if I could I WOULD STAY IN GIRL MODE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

Molly

[Roseanne]

I enjoy Roseanne around the house when I'm alone but I need to switch to man mode for training in the gym and training other people in the gym. I'm studying to be a personal trainer, one good thing with traing is i can shave legs and arms and no one questions it.

[Michelle 51]

I'm never 100% male anymore.Spent my younger life and raised a family as a male but at my age now would live as a female 100% if I could.I need to dress nice often with a suit and tie and like to look good and am fussy about matchimg my colors etc and hair and enjoy an occasional compliment as such but if possible would be much happier in a skirt and heels and would dress femme everyday if possible

[joan47]

I am a femboy, I always try and be feminine

[sometimes_miss]

Boy mode is an act for me much of the time, to avoid being bothered by anyone else. I spent my entire childhood having people poke fun at me, insult me, and ridicule me about being timid and shy, and having a birthmark on my face. After I grew up, and I really mean 'up' (six four, over 200 pounds and a bit intimidating to most) people stopped bothering me, usually all I had to do was look at them with serious intent and they shut up. So in 'boy mode' I don't take crap from anyone anymore, and it allows me freedom to just go about my life without the constant worry that a girl might have about possible unwanted physical interaction. Which makes 'boy mode' an easier life, but again, it's mostly just an act, and of course, when you're acting, you're always 'on', so it's a bit of work.
In private, I can just turn it all off, and be myself. I don't have to worry about singing along to girl's songs, or tearing up during emotional scenes either in real life or in entertainment. Mood doesn't seem to make a difference; I adapt to the situation, chameleon like, always have, probably always will.

[Jennifer in CO]

when I transitioned waaay back when, my wife said I was the same person, just different clothes. After 5 years of living as a woman, I guess I got a bit "girly" in doing things, but I still did them. Heck, while I was on the other side I even rebuilt one car and tore down another so I couldn't say I got too girly. I mean, I didn't do it high heels or anything that silly, but puttin on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and gettin your hands dirty happens no matter who you (or what) are. Before the fire, my wife had a picture of me from back in the day of me out cutting the lawn- in a pair of Daisy Dukes and a bikini halter top. You just go get the job done. Doesn't mean you can't have some fun doin it tho...

Jenn

and FairKelly - welcome ot the party - and I fully expect you to at least go out in the garage and polish up your hot rod at least once in a nice short skirt and heels!!

[Ressie]

yes, I enjoy pretending to be a man sometimes. JK

Honestly, I don't do a lot of guy things besides wearing men's clothes 90% of the time. I'm a musician, and to me music doesn't focus on gender.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Mode

Yes, that is a good way to express it. Which "mode" do you put the machine into? But the "essence" of the machine is not in whether it is in drive or reverse, intake or exhaust, boy or girl. Perhaps my identity is not as well developed or nuanced as others, but I feel that I don't think much of the time about my gender. Up there behind my eyes and between my ears, I am simply me, gazing out and wondering about the world.

There are times when I look down and enjoy the view of my breasts in a pushup bra, and there are times when I enjoy operating my table saw. I suppose there are times when I put myself into girl "mode" but when we are lying in bed at night with my wife's head on my shoulder and my arm stretches down her back, with my hand resting on her hip, I wouldn't trade that "mode" for anything.

Liz

[SandraInHose]

Other than when playing hockey, I usually have pantyhose on. Unfortunately, they are often hidden under my jeans or sweats as we still have kids living at home.

But if I'm home alone, there's a 99% certainty that I'll be dressed in some sort of female attire, regardless of what I'm doing. Mowing the lawn in short shorts is one thing I've done regularly. I also have a home gym set up in my spare room. When alone, I have gone through numerous heavy weightlifting workouts while wearing women's workout attire. Using every ounce of my testosterone trying to push 300 pounds of iron off my chest while wearing a leotard and tights can be a mentally-confusing exercise!

[wilt575]

I don't suppose there's much doubt that CD'rs like girl mode. But I was also wondering to what extent CD'rs like boy mode too.

So, do you like boy mode? Do you like expressing masculinity. How much? Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode? After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people? Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood?

I think it would be very interesting to know how people feel about this.

Looking forward to your answers.

P.S. I also assume that MTF TS's nearly always dislike boy mode so this question is directed at CD'rs. TS replies are welcome but it would be great if you would say you're TS so as not to confuse the thread.

I like girl mode for the most part, but sometime I like a "blended mode" guy girl, not andro,but more fem then male, but no wig makeup etc. just my naturally cruvy fem build and girly clothes.

[Brittany CD]

Andrea, I just spent my whole day as a woman today and just went back to guy mode right now. After a long time as a girl, I like being a guy even more

[NathalieX66]

Been there/done that.

Being a guy is old hat for me. .....I need a new outlet.

I' not saying I don't like looking at an engine block , I was pretty mastered in "enginology" in my old Thunderbird 312 block that was in my '57 Ford Fairlane I sold last year, (4 barrel carb, dual glass pack exhaust, 3-on-the-tree shift with overdrive that could eat up a canyon uphill). My toolbox is one of those Sears biggies with the dozen drawers filled with sockets, screwdrivers, hammers, chisels, etc. ...yeah, I'm a frickin' dude.
....yeah, I also prefer to dress as female, go figure. When's then next sale at MAC or Sephora? I need shoes.

[Andrea J]

Hi, thanks for all the answers.

One thing I have noticed though, is that a number of people seem to be saying that they like doing stereotypically masculine things, therefore they like being masculine. But I don't think one follows from the other.

In this day and age girls can do pretty much all these things. Build and drive powerful cars, use firearms, join football teams, play first person shooters, etc. But this does not necessarily mean that the girl likes feeling like a man. She might be perfectly happy with her femininity but just happen to like doing some of the above.

Similarly doing masculine things does not in itself mean that you like being male.

Is there something more when you do something masculine? Is there some sense in which, the knowledge that you are doing something that feels masculine seems right or good to you? Or perhaps you might feel you like masculinity in another way?

[xdressed]

It's hard to answer this as I've never really had the chance to spend long amounts of time in femme mode, and even less time with other people. I do certainly like being masculine when partying hard with my friends, even if most of the other people there are girls, it just wouldn't seem quite the same in femme mode. Same thing when I go to Metal gigs, even if everyone there knew me and was totally fine with my dressing, I just don't find myself in that mode when I'm at them (although I have performed en femme once and loved it, so I guess it's more because it's less practical as an audience member to be overtly feminine at a metal gig). I also appreciate how much easier it is being a guy, I rarely am in the mood to spend an hour or two on hair and make up first thing in the morning before university. The flip side to this though is that I find being masculine much more boring, and can and often will spend the whole rest of the day wishing to be able to be en femme. There are typically male things that I would happily do in femme mode though (sometimes even prefer doing) like watching Horror/Sci-fi/Action movies and playing video games (although apart from a few dozen notable exceptions my game collection is largely on the family friendly Nintendo made side of things). There are also typically female things like washing up and doing house work that I will happily do in male mode, again sometimes even prefer it. Shopping is normally a masculine experience for me too, unless I'm clothes shopping, in which case I will be consumed with feminine desire

[UNDERDRESSER]

My problem with this question is, what is boy mode and girl mode? What is masculine and feminine? A large part of what is displayed to the world at large is determined by society. I am beginning to reject some of that.

[Sophie_C]

I don't really have two halves. I only am me, which is more of a feminine nature, with myself repressing it for the world at large, and not repressing it in private. I imagine I'm not the only one.

[Cheryl T]

Do I "Like" it....NO.
It's always been more of a necessary evil. I so much prefer myself as you see me here.

[Jess1982]

I also see myself not as two halves but as a person with qualities that contain both masculine and feminine characteristics. I am in a business in which I deal with a lot of women. Jessica has helped me tremendously in that area. I feel I have the best of both worlds since I do love women from a masculine and a feminine perspective. It has taken me a long time to see this but now that I have I can now embrace it and be happy.

[LauraBird]

I think I've found that dressing makes me more "aware" in general, of both sides. I find I appreciate both sides more, and appreciate my ability to switch between the two. I would love to be able to spend more time as Laura as I really don't have much Laura time nowadays, but definitely don't want to give up my male side either. If anything the whole CD thing has really allowed me to, well, like myself more. The first time I truly saw Laura in the mirror (first time the wife did my makeup, put my wig on, had a whole outfit going) - was the first time I looked at myself in the mirror and felt attractive. I think that in itself drew me more into CD'ing - because I loved how I looked. It felt great to look in the mirror and think, about myself, "Wow I look great." I've NEVER done that before. Even on a good day, in guy mode, I'd look in the mirror and think, "Meh". It's caused me to start thinking about my male side more, because I want that feeling all the time. It's caused me to relax a little, let my guard down a little as it comes to opinions about how guys dress (so afraid I think, over the years of CD confusion, of being perceived as "gay" that I really put no effort into my own style.) I've done enough personal exploration in my head to know I'm not gay, men have zero attraction for me, so I might as well just put that down permanently and see what I can do. I've started dressing differently with a little more effort, started to assemble a sort of style for myself - much like Laura, but very much male, (stylish but lightly understated) and I feel good about it.

To answer the original question - yes, I enjoy feeling "masculine." I love spending time in the garage working on the cars, or out at the race track. At times I've had a realization, as I stood there covered in dirt and grease, or with the radio headset on, just how "guy" it all was at the moment. And it felt good. In much the same way as I get a good feeling when doing something girly.

And here's something else to bake your noodle - if I *had* to pick one side or the other, permanently... well, I'd stay a guy. IMO it's just so much easier most of the time. It takes me 2 minutes to get ready to go. If I don't dress in any sort of "style" (i.e. sneakers, jeans, crappy T-shirt) nobody blinks twice, I blend in with almost every other guy. But put a female in the same thing and the word "frumpy" comes to mind.

[melanie206]

I have to be male in mode most of the time so I have to accept it rather than be unhappy for the majority of my waking hours. However, I certainly don't work at being masculine. My boy clothes are very plain and comfortable. My interests are music and film making which I hope are more informed by my sense of gender fluidity than one thing over another. I have never been en femme long enough to miss being in guy mode and if I had my choice I think I would try to express femininity most of the time.

[Kate Simmons]

Of course, why wouldn't I Hon? :battingeyelashes::)

[LilSissyStevie]

Occasionally, I suffer a bout of autoandrophilia but I just go do something manly and get it out of my system. Yesterday I fixed a broken generator that someone gave me. That should do for a couple of days.

[Andrea J]

My problem with this question is, what is boy mode and girl mode? What is masculine and feminine? A large part of what is displayed to the world at large is determined by society. I am beginning to reject some of that.

I agree that a great deal of gender stereotypes are a constructs of society. And I agree that people should not be bound by these stereotypes, so reject away!

However I think there is an innate feeling of being male or female, and a feeling that you can express this through your behaviour. (I don't think that everyone feels this and people may feel it with different intensities.) The thing is I think that this feeling is outside the realms of gender stereotypes.

Why? Because transsexuals (before transition) are known to have very strong feelings of being a particular gender, but being a gender that is different to there physical form. This feeling can come very early on and I have heard of a transsexual having the feeling that their parents had got there sex wrong before they could even talk. So this suggests that these feelings occur before the child has a significant understanding of the gender expectations of society.

So suppose someone is doing something that is considered by society to be stereotypically masculine, and that person is feeling good about that. For this question it doesn’t matter what they are doing, and it doesn't matter that it's just our society that says it's masculine, what matters is that they 'feel' that what they are doing is masculine and that that feeling of masculinity makes them feel good.

[JennyLynn]

When I'm in"boy mode" I am the manly man.....meaning.. I cut wood, I hunt, I do the yard work, I garden, I can my harvest, I cook, I clean, I...get girly. I just consider myself well rounded! Man and girl. The best of both worlds!

[sissystephanie]

I absolutely love to crossdress, and look totally feminine! But I was born a man and without some expensive surgery I will always be a man. As I told my late wife when I proposed to her, no matter what I have on I am still a man underneath. So I do both sexes pretty well. When crossdressed I am very feminine, but when in drab I am the man that I was created!!

[bcpmax]

I like being in male mode, only having to throw on a jeans and a t-shirt to go about my day, it's easy. But even in male mode I'm not very masculin in apperiance or behavior.

[whowhatwhen]

Nope, it's always felt like a fake and I'm happier now that I've stopped consciously trying to emulate it.
:)

[k lynn]

Even in boy mode I dont do it real well many people have told me you act to girly and in my mind I am never very manly

[Charlotte Haynes]

Since I started fully dressing a couple of months ago, I've also begun to take more pride in my male appearance. I had my shoulder length hair cut considerably shorter, and instead of living in jeans, t- shirts and trainers, I've been and bought some shirts and some expensive boots. I'm pleased with the change in myself, and I'm about to throw myself headlong into looking like a respectable male... bit confusing, but I'm not going to over think it.

[Joann Smith]

Its gettin kinda hard for me to tell what's masculine and what's femm any more .. I just do me and let the gender police sort it out