I've figured something out!

[Lisa Maren]

Hi everyone

I had been struggling with trying to figure out if my femininity is a part of me or just something I'm playing at that is impermanent. I thought about what criteria I use when I say that playing music is part of who I am or loving certain movies is part of who I am. The criteria I came up were that those are things that I love, which make me smile, which I come back to and enjoy again and again, and which touch my soul in wonderful ways. By those criteria my femininity and my crossdressing are definitely a part of me. Yet, that wasn't enough to quell my doubts.

However, now I've figured out something that absolutely smashes any remaining doubt to smithereens! I was thinking about how complicated my femininity seems to be and how I can never quite figure it all out. I realized I'd had similar thoughts about the Bible way back when but eventually realized that the point isn't to figure it out because then the answer would serve only one person. (Perhaps more to the point, everyone would come up with a different answer). Instead it's something to be interpreted. The idea is to look around and see where you find meaning. When you do, that is your soul talking to you (and/or God lol). Anyway, I thought maybe femininity works much the same way. If there was only one definition of it then only girl would truly have any fun being feminine. It must be something to be interpreted according to where you find meaning (rather like an artwork or a piece of music).

Then I had a major Eureka! moment. I realized that I had found a crystal clear answer (at least for me) to the question of whether my femininity and crossdressing are an integral part of me. The answer is a resounding yes! Why? Because I find meaning in it! Surely the best definition of who you are is all about where and in what you find meaning! The purest connection to the soul lies in realizing that you've found meaning in something. Well, I find tremendous meaning in exploring my femininity both internally and externally. Therefore, femininity and crossdressing are unquestionably an integral part of me! As for any lingering doubt all I can say is, "Buh-bye!"

Now, if I could just figure out what gender I am, I would be sitting even more pretty than I am right now in my skirt and pantyhose! :)

Christian

[Sarahgurl371]

Lisa,
Wow, you have been thinking, haven't you?

The age old question, answer I guess....I think therefore I Am.

for me I feel that dressing is just the outward presentation of how I feel inside. I do not know if "normal" guys think about thier femininity, or if they feel like they are a girl sometimes. I am not a "normal" guy. I have both. I am starting to become comfortable with both. As for my gender, who knows. I guess you could call me a transgendered person. Maybe we need a word for a person who posesses both feelings and traits of both genders. We have words that describe the physical act of dressing, words that describe sexual characteristics, but what about gender?

Bi genderist? Trans genderist? Gender outlaw? Gender queer? Nothing that catchy in that list. Interesting book, Gender Outlaw by kate Bornstien. It will make you do some thinking.

[BrendaChristine]

I think a person who has the feelings and traits of bothe genders IS Normal. from a biological standpoint we all have those 2 sides. It's how they are manifested within us and how we express it. I can be strong and stoic or sensitive and emotional. I can be rude and inconsiderate, or kind and caring. to me these are the traits of a normal human being be they man or woman, and anyone lacking in any of them is the abnormal. It's the Good Capt Kirk vs the Bad Capt Kirk principle.

[Sarah Smile]

I know where you all are coming from. I've been trying to figure all this out about myself, too. I've decided I'm predominantly female inside, but to what extent, I'm not sure yet (i.e., whether I should transition). I tend to think of myself as "intergender", as in both genders (a la "intersex" = both sexes) for the time being. Whether or not that will turn out to be apt in the long run is uncertain. I've found that I had alot of feelings deeply buried and I don't think I've found them all yet.

[BrendaChristine]

That's a good term for a lot of us as we are not changing gender permanently, but are moving back and forth between.

[TGMarla]

femininity and crossdressing are unquestionably an integral part of me! You know, there are times when I don't even think of it as crossdressing. I just feel normal. I feel content, happy. There can be little or no doubt about the fact that somehow this is indeed an itegral part of me. Doubting that would just be doubting a part of myself. I'm afraid it's here to stay. So fighting it makes no sense. But moving forward with it can be such a tremendous burden sometimes. One tries as one can. Each day a new horizon.

[Lisa Maren]

We have lots in common, Amber. I also used to think of myself as "bigendered" or "intergendered" but I'm also not so sure anymore. I'm predominantly feminine, too.

Honestly, sometimes I think that, for me, the right question is not whether femininity is part of me but rather whether masculinity is part of me! Maybe that's the fake part! >:)

Hugs,
Lisa

[Sarah Smile]

Honestly, sometimes I think that, for me, the right question is not whether femininity is part of me but rather whether masculinity is part of me! Maybe that's the fake part! >:)


*nods*

Yes, me too! I tend to fluctuate from day to day. Some days the masculine side seems completely fake and some days it feels reluctantly comfortable, though I'm not sure how much of that is from true inner masculinity or just because it's how I was raised and I'm used to it.