Little Did I Know, But It Is All Coming Out Now!

[Beth-Lock]

I was talking to my best friend, here in the apartment building we both live in, and she was able to offer me some insights on how people see us, when we are in the early stages of transition and coming out as TS. She knew me when I was still a guy, noticing my underdressing, for example.

In the early stage of my transition, I underdressed and wore clear nail polish, and so on, and I had thought people did not notice. Well they did! People who did notice, mostly just did not say anything to me, though they may have gossiped among themselves

Do others, CD, TG or TS have feedback on this issue come up, either at the time, or long after, (in my case 4+ years after)? I understand, that in some apartment buildings in this city, cross-dressers fear being beaten up in the elevators, and may always take the stairs, even when their apartment is fairly high up in the building. Those buildings of course house a coarser sort of population, if one can generalize, (which unfortunately, ignores the many good and well-behaved people in those buildings). I think when people judge us harshly, they are also betraying a judgment on how classy they are and how civilized -- or the opposite.

[Loni]

i guess i am in the stage were people notice but say nothing.

interested to know more. going to keep a close eye on this thread.

Loni

.

[BreenaDion]

I started transitioning a few months before HRT. I went through the laser route to remove most of the beard before my first pill. Like most other girls an let the hair grow out. At that time I dressing androgynous as to NOT to attack attention to how I was presenting myself. As months past while on HRT the clothing was all off the female rack but still very much on the androgynous side. About 1 1/2 yrs in I was addicted to cycling for exercise and had to wear bike skirts to cover what ever bulge I thought I had. AS I was cycling so much I needed constant repairs and upgrades on my bike and in this process I came out to different dealers and shops early on but not my neighbors and friends/family.

Simultaneously I let others decide what they would address me as. I just presented androgynous gender identity to avoid the humiliation that would tear me apart and having PTSD and that is no picnic to deal with. Wasn't until I was witnessed as a female that I started to mirror what I was being perceived as . Then I started wearing sun dresses to cover the bulge with short bike shorts. This is what my social worker calls " Witnessing and Mirroring " but in my case it was after the onset of Transsexualism. Unlike a normal TS who lives this way naturally.

(( Last line is just a guess for me as I have no idea what a normal TS lived there life )) .

About 2/12 yrs on HRT is when I exploded out and lived and presented as a female. Most every one I know who is new to me after the,,, " Awakening " knows me as a TS but the most resent I have met I have not told and won't. At this point in transitioning I got beyond the " Attitude is Everything " according to the girls in the support meeting. I just STOPPED caring and don't give a rats ass any more. I know there no real sense of total 100% stealth but I will take whatever I can get. When I have to and can't avoid it I will come out as there will be a day that I don't need to as much. Such as a few girl 25 yrs later have told some stories of none stealth occasions.

So I didn't push it as early on as I derived a time table on transitioning as my social worker stepped in front off me and told me to slow way down, as my freight train of transsexualism was going to fast. The force of this disorder was and now she stated I was going a lot slower than the normal TS. Well kids I am NOT a normal TS as my speed is determined by my many other disorders, and they are endless it seams at times. As this new yr comes in I am just spot on schedule .

Not one person from my past knows of Breena and I am fine with that. As I read the stories I was well informed yrs ago what and how people would react so that is how most of my transitioning had to be focused. I just walked away from them. I Have Too Not Really Care What People Think Of My Gender Identity. Its how I have to live with to move in a more productive future with these god awful disorders.

You might disagree but my social worker treating TG community for over 30 yrs now has commended me on how I decided to go forward.

good luck.

[BreenaDion]

PS sorry I got rambling on so to continue. Men addressed me as mam at early as 9 months to 1yr an 3 month then is was all men. Those guys only see with what they want to see LOL. Women address me as mam about 2 yrs in all presenting as non gender as I could. Really young kids didn't seam to care as adolescents looked at me quit weird for a long time same as some teenagers. Young women did except me early on just the hateful ones didn't . I didn't ask any one how they perceived me as one bike shop owner who fixed my cycle a lot as in 2,000$ in 15 months. he said I didnt know how people perceived me and I really didnt care. Most sales people were nice and only questioning women , older just didnt say one way or another.

To get through all of this you must have a tolerance to there judgement calls while being in the between time as you will get witnessed as how you feel inside.
Just don't expect it right away for it will come.

Good luck